I was floating through space. I felt nothing. Didn't see anything, I couldn't hear or smell. I was just there. Drifting through space but also through nothing. And then everything slammed back into my body. And I felt. I felt everything.

The pain ripped through my body. It was so bad I threw my head back and screamed. My back arched as the deep aching pain tour through my body again. My blood felt like ice, slow and thick but my nerves were on fire. All my muscles and ligaments, all the fibers of my body were being ripped apart. I screamed in pain again as another wave hit me.

Then the memories came. Which ripped through my mind like a bullet.

She sat in a cold dark room. Her dark eyes flicked around at the other kids. Most were older, and they looked mean. She was definitely way younger then all of these kids. Apprehension made her tummy twist. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe she could still chose the other option. A door creeked open and her name was called.

No, not her name. Her number. B-4. She followed the lady into a smaller room. Just a metal table and two chairs. The lady left and she waited alone. She was only 8.

She sat with her head down, hair falling around her face. It was wet with tears. She was only 9. Someone was pacing behind her she saw in the cold dark room. It had an odd red glow to it.

"Stop your crying. Killers don't cry." The voice snapped.

"I...I-"

"I don't want excuses. You chose this path. I never forced your hand. It is too late to change your mind. The trials have already begun to prepare. You had your chance."

White hot burnt on her skin. She clamped her eyes shut, hissing in pain. She clenched her hands into fists, her nails dug into her skin. The searing burn died to a sting throb. They left their brand on her, they marked her.

She was now a graduate of the program. She was official. She had The Mark now. She belonged to them. There was no getting out now.

The screaming was coming from the girls own throat. The screaming was from pure raw pain. It started from her mind and radiated into her body. Every nerve in her body was being ripped apart and spliced back together. She tried to curl up on myself, but the cold metal bitting into her skin kept her strapped down.

Then from behind the child, a voice. It sent more fear through her then the pain. It read the words. And she cried harder.

"No!"

"Red. Night Walker. Four."

"No!" She screamed, "Stop! Please, no!'

The voice kept reading, louder over the girls pleading to stop.

"Dashner. Two hundred fifty. Lost. Run. Wicked. Comply."

She had stopped struggling. She lay still, every single muscle coiled and tense, like a spring ready to explode. She was panting hard, the tears still wet on her face.

"Assassin?"

"I am ready to comply."

Her voice was flat, her eyes were blank. She looked straight ahead, her mind belonged the them now.

"Good."

Her first target...she was 15. She was a child, but she was sent out alone, shrouded in black and shadow.

"Mission report."

"It is done."

"Well done B-4."

The hand reached out. She flinched. The hand backhanded her. It was always harsh at first, but then they would become soft and gentle.

"Shhh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, child. I was angry. You had made me angry."

The girl said nothing.

"I was only going to see the scratch. You are hurt. My favorite is injured. My prize is hurt."

The hand petted her hair. It made its way down to her should and arm. The hand was gentle. The voice was a soft purr. But fear spiked through the girls body.

She lay in the operating room. Everything was bright harsh and sterile. The was the one that didn't fit into the environment. Clothed in black. Soaking wet and filthy, from the harsh weather. And drenched in blood. Her blood.

She withered in pain, her body shook with the loss of blood. Her eyes rolled into her head.

Walking the roof tops at night and alone. That was how she liked it. Her mind was clear now. For now. It would belong to them soon. Another target. Another body. Another face in her nightmares. Another reason to call herself a monster.

Standing at the tip top of the building, her feet at the edge, she looked down. She had thought about it. Many times. End it, be done, get out. That was the only way to get out, to be dead. It would be easy...tip forward and fly through the air...done.

Something stopped her everytime. The words of a boy. "Dying is easy. It's buggen' living that's hard. That's bloody dangerous to wake up every day when you're just so buggen' tired of it all."

The girls body lay on the floor of her parents room. All of them were dead. The parents were the target. THEY said nothing of a child. She sat on her knees, her mind awoke from the fog. It wasn't blank anymore, she belonged to herself again. But she was full of panic and fear. She couldn't rip her eyes from the small child's blood soaked teddy bear. The blood soaked into the fuzzy body.

Horror of what she had just done hit her like a stab to the chest. She wanted to scream she wanted to cry but she couldn't. Nothing happened. Her body was paralyzed in horror. Something in her brain said she needed to leave, she had to leave. Her body worked without her mind. She stood up. Her eyes never leaving the bear. She grabbed it. She took the blood soaked teddy bear.

She stood in the shadows, waiting. Her hood and mask pulled up. The only thing visible was her eyes. He was supposed to be coming this way, her target.

He was late. But he finally came around the corner. He passed her hiding spot. Grabbing him by the collar and slammed him into the wall, a knife to his throat.

"Be quiet and listen." She hissed.

His eyes were dilated in fear for a second, and then he relaxed. He pushed her hand away.

"Always so dramatic."

"They want you dead, Uncle. Whatever you did to piss them off, it worked. I'm supposed to be killing you right now."

"Well, I didn't know I was so important to them." He smirked.

"Shut up and listen. I'll get you out, I can get you to the Crank City, but you disappear, go into hiding, something."

"Why help me Miss Killer of Men?"

"Because your family, Marcus. Now come on. If I take too long He gets suspicious." I hissed.

She jumping forward slamming a knee down into the guards chest and with a swift movement she yanked his head up and sideways, snapping his neck.

She looked up. Something thumped and cracked against her back. In an instant she felt the burning power of a thousand bolts of lightning strike her at once; she fell sideways off the dead guard landing on the tiled floor, her whole body convulsing and her vision started to go dark.

Her eyes were open, but she couldn't see anything. As soon as she came to that conclusion, light flared across her line of vision. Brilliant lights arced in lines across my field of vision, blinding her. She couldn't blink, couldn't close my eyelids to block it. Pain washed over her body; her skin felt like it was melting right off her muscle and bones. She tried to scream, but it was as if she'd lost all control of all functions; her arms and legs and torso shook no matter how hard she strained to stop them.

The crackle and pop of electricity filled her ears. Finally her voice made a noise. A high pitched gut wrenching scream. Shadows and shapes moved around her. She had no idea what was happening. It felt like eternity, but the bright white arches of light slowly added, and she just felt the spasms if sparks.

She lay on the ground panting, her throat raw from screaming, somehow she turned her head, wincing in the process, she spat more blood onto the floor, she must have bite her lip in the process. She saw guys lined up against the wall again. All their eyes glued to the girl laying in the floor still smoking and twitching from being fried by an electric launcher.

A shadow approached her and used their booted foot to make her look up at him.

"Another failed attempt." Spat a voice.

"Was it though?" She crocked, she smirked as best she could. "I just killed your captain...and his stupid second in command, you ugly sewer Rat!" She let out a wild dry cackle.

She lay still twitching on the bed, her limbs felt heavy. Everything hurt. Her wrists and ankles had been cuffed down. They weren't taking an risks. The curtain was ripped back. A girl stood there. She had to blink a few times. It was like looking in the mirror.

Her dark raven hair cascading down her shoulders, her skin was pale and fresh, no scars. Her full red lips, long eyelashes, but her bright electric blue eyes were flat and dead. Her body was straight and stiff.

She recognized the pose. This girl who looked like her was being controlled. Her mind wasn't her own. Her mind belonged to Them...to Him.

A hand reached out and stroked the girls head in a loving caress.

"This is your replacement B-4." The voice cooed.

"Doesn't she look just like you? Once your mind is fully erased, she will take your spot. She will be better. More compliant, less of a risk. Her mind was easier to break, you were too stubborn. But...you were my prize. You were my favorite...but now..." The voice whispered and hissed. Their hand reached out one last time, stroking the girls hair who was strapped to the bed. Stroked her hair, down to her shoulder and arm...

There was nothing for her to do, she couldn't move, she couldn't fight back. The hand was always gentle. Firm, but gentle if she didn't move. Her dark eyes filled with tears. The new girl stood stiff and un blinking, her mind not her own. The girl strapped to the bed finally had her mind back, only to have it swiped. And the last memory would be flat lifeless bright blue eyes and a hand that touched her against her wishes.

The voice cooed one last time. "You're mine. And always will be..."

•×•

The pain had subsided. I now just felt feverish and exhausted. It hurt to move. I lay still trying to figure out where I was and what was happening around me. My eyelids were too heavy to open. My throat was raw from screaming. Pain exploded through my when I inhaled too deeply. The pounding in my head made me wince. The door closing somewhere made the pounding worse.

"You're still here?"

There was footsteps.

"When's she gonna wake up?"

"Look man, Gally went through it or took almost 3 days. She went through it twice. And she almost died. It's gonna be a while."

I heard a growl. Something thumped making me wince. I must have made a noise because there was a rush of footsteps a scrapping noise. I felt the bed dip.

"Jessie?!" The voice sounded hopeful.

I was tired. Everything hurt. I didn't want to talk to or see anyone. A warm hand gently touched mine. I flinched, trying to move away.

"Jessie?" The voice asked again, this time I heard the hurt and sadness.

Hurt and sadness...that was the only thing she was good at. Leaving people hurt and sad. She willed herself to go back into a floating nothingness. Her body and mind were still so tired it didn't take much.

•×•

"Minho! Winston! Go eat something!" Newt demanded.

"I'm not hungry."

"Don't want to."

"The shuck you guys are! You were here all bloody night! Then you were in the buggen' maze all day and now your back here."

He was right...I hardly slept. I hardly ate. And I rarely left the Med room.

"Go." Newt demanded again. "Go eat. Go buggen' shower, you stink Shank! Put on some clean clothes."

"But-"

"No. If she wakes up I promise you'll be the first to bloody know. Winston, you too! Go."

Winston and I grumbled but we got up and left. I did everything as fast as I could, only to get back to her bed again. She had stired yesterday. After 5 days of going through the changing, she finally was close to waking up.

Newt sighed heavily when I plopped down beside him. He shook his head.

"She's got you, Shank. She's got bad."

"Don't act surprised. You set it all up."

I saw a small smirk appear on his face. He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms.

"Wasn't that hard."

I rolled my eyes. Newt just chuckled.

"You came back from a buggen' normal run, carrying a half dead girl in your arms, and when you told us what happened you couldn't take your eyes off her."

"Sure. She's shucken hot."

Newt shrugged. I thought back to the first few weeks.

"She made me angry..so shucken angry."

"She's the female version of you. It was bloody funny to watch. You gettin' so frustrated over somethin' you do, or have done, or would do. It was like watchin' yourself argue with a bloody mirror."

I just scoffed. But it was half hearted. Leaning forwards I placed my elbows on my knees. I placed my head in my hands.

"I don't know how it happened, man! It just kinda did. The arguments became...more. my frustration with her reckless behavior started to turn to worry. Instead of ignoring her...I wanted to start a fight just so I could have an excuse to look at her..."

"Probably not the bloody healthiest..." Newt commented.

"No. But shuck man, that first kiss..."

"Trust me shank I was there, I saw the whole bloody thing! Why do ya think she flipped and fled?"

I frowned and leaned back in the chair looking at him. Newt just raised an eyebrow as if asking if I was serious or not.

"She spent how long in this other maze? Two and a half ish buggen' years. It was obvious she didn't attach to many people, she even buggen' said it. But she did to one or two...and she lost 'em. Now she's in an entirely new maze, pretty much the exact same thing...musta been a huge shock to her bloody system."

"Yeah I guess so. Would be weird to wake up surround by girls..."

Newt hummed nodded and went on.

"She's obviously a closed off person, doesn't open up, takes a lot, a whole lotta trust to open up. I could see just as obvious as you...she was bloody falling hard. So when she told you to take a risk and ya did? She knew. And she bloody scared herself."

"But why though...why is it such a hard thing?"

"Do you open up to everyone?"

I frowned, and ran a hand through my hair. I sighed in defeat.

"No." I grumbled.

"No. Exactly. She went through the buggen' changing...she has memories... obviously there's somethin' in her past that makes her freak out when it comes to trust, other people and physical touch."

"Damn Newt. Look at you with all the shucken Glade psychology klunk." I smirked at him.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"But I'm buggen' right. Now...I ain't got any idea what's gonna happen after a second changing. But...be extra careful. I'm sure she's gonna be more fragile and angry."

"I figured." I said quietly. The things I read in her journal came flooding back and I could feel it pulling my heart back down. I could feel the lump in my throat forming.

"How...how do I help her when she views herself as a violent monster who thinks she's doesn't deserve anything good?"

"I don't know man. I really have no buggen' idea."

"You don't. And you leave me the fuck alone." A raspy dry voice whispered.