Minho stood right in front of me, the guys had all gone back to being loud and wild behind us around the fire. I could see the muscle in his neck pulsing with his heart beat. I felt my knees go week. Dammit, I was falling hard after a few breath taking kisses. A few months shy of three years keeping everyone at an arms length and now I was crumbling fast. Or maybe it was just I was touched starved and he was brave enough to touch me...a monster.

I shivered.

"Cold?"

"No. Confused." I admitted.

"Can I help?"

I shrugged. "How are your climbing skills?" I asked looking back up at him.

"I've never put them to the test."

I turned and walked into the shadows. He followed, leaving the wild party behind.

"Is this where you kill me?"

"Don't tempt me."

He chuckled. I could feel his presence beside me, but now that we were away from the fire, the darkness swallowed us, and it was hard to see. I was sure footed, light as a cat and silent as a shadow. I came to the other side of the Homestead and far side of the kitchen and walked towards the barn. Minho didn't say anything, following me to where ever I was leading. On the far side of the barn that faced the forest is where I stopped. Minho turned to look at me. I was covered in shadow.

"Now we go up." I said softly.

I jumped, grabbed the tree branch and pulled myself up, using the trunk to balance I stood up and looked down at Minho, who had his arms crossed looking up at me. I grinned. Letting go of the trunk I walked out on the tree limb and leapt to the thin windowsill. From there I reached up and grabbed the roof. I pulled myself up, swinging myself up onto the roof, and stood up. I waited.

"You coming?" I called quietly.

"Shuck it woman, you and your ninja skills."

"Close." I muttered.

It took a few minutes, but Minho finally stood beside me. He looked proud of himself.

"I've never been up here."

"First for everything. Come on." I turned and walked up the roof, to the next level up, and then over the spin of the roof to the other side and lightly leapt to the little flat section of roof. I sat down and waited for Minho. He settled beside me. I slowly leaned back, laying against the slanted roof. Minho copied me laying on his back, we lay side by side.

"Now...you can see the stars." I said quietly.

Except he wasn't looking at the stars, I felt his eyes on me. I slowly, hesitantly turned my head and looked around at him. He was so close I could see his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. My breath caught in my chest. He just stared at me. He had such a soft look in his eyes and a smile I had to look away; my lungs were burning, I couldn't breath. I felt the tears burning in my eyes. I looked the other directing, trying to blink the tears away.

"Hey...Jessie..."

"I'm fine." I whispered.

"I doubt that. I'm just looking at you and your tearing up. Yet you have his unmatched confidence and cocky attitude while throwing a knife at my face." He said quietly.

"Because I know how to do that. I don't know how to do this." My voice caught.

"Me either, believe it or not I've never had a relationship...well that I can remember."

"What if you still have a girlfriend, waiting for you..?" I asked, looking back up at the stars.

"If I do she dosen't exists anymore." He shrugged, "I don't know them anymore."

"You don't know me either." I whispered.

"The difference is you're here and I want to get to know you...if you'll let me."

"You wont look at me the same if you know the real me."

I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my knees. Minho frowned and slowly sat up as well. He was quiet for a moment, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I think..." He said slowly, he shifted so he was facing her, "I think, another reason you push people away and close your self off is because you think you don't deserve it."

"Because I'm a monster."

"Are monsters born or are they made?"

"What?" I asked, looking at him, frowning in confusion.

"Were you born with a love of violence and knives? Or do you think someone made you who you are?" He asked, raising a changing eyebrow.

I opened and closed my mouth a few times. I looked forwards, away from his calm and collected eyes, away from his challenge. I didn't know how to answer that without driving head long into my past. And I didn't want to go there. Like at all.

"Look...Jessie.." he took a long deep shaking breath. I saw out the side of my eye I saw him close his eyes and tip his head back for a second like he was working up the courage to continue.

"I clearly don't know everything, and that's fine. That's for you to decide when your ready to talk...but I ain't stupid-"

"Coulda fooled me, somehow you wanna get to know me, that's pretty stupid."

He rolled his eyes.

"I'm observant Jes. I see what you're like, how you act around others, the moment they ask anything personal you're out or you shut down. I see the nightmares and I listen to what you yell out during and what you let slip after when we're talking."

"Good for you, you have eyes and ears. Wanna gold star?"

"What I'm saying is, I think I have a vague idea of who you are...or who you think you are."

I sat still as a statue. Scared of what's going to come out of his mouth next. I was holding my breath. Tears stung my eyes and my throat felt tight and sticky.

"You were trained as some kind of soilder or warrior or something. During your night mares you scream for Him to stop. I don't know who Him is but he obviously scared the klunk outta you. You have cried out for it to stop, no more blood shed."

The tears that clung to my eyelashes escaped and slid down my cheeks. He was just about spot on so far. A trained fighter, a forced killer. A made monster. It still didn't excuse what I did.

"That first nightmare you said killers don't cry monsters don't panic and assassins don't have anxiety."

I tried to stifle a sob.

"Jessie...you have a very specific skill set. You told me that. You told me you like the dark, your a...what was it? ...oh! Night Walker. You snuck around the Glade and could sneak into the weapons room snitch knives and no one knew!"

The tears streamed down my face.

"I don't know how or why...you probably don't either, 'cause the shucken creators took out memories... But do you really truly believe you are a monster not deserving companionship, affection...love?"

"Yes. Because I'm the reason a kid doesn't have a dad. Or...a teddy bear doesn't have arms to snuggle it at night."

I couldn't anymore and I burried my face in my knees. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't hear anything other than the beating of my heart the wild pounding in my ears. All my scars burnt, it all felt on fire with shame.

I felt a hesitant hand on my back. I sucked a sharp breath in. And my muscles stiffened even more. But he didn't do anything else, just his hand resting gently in my back. I tried to regain my breathing. I had too many emotions going on right now. It all swirled around in my head. And I couldn't sort it out.

"So I think...you don't have to tell me anything and I still look at you and want to know you."

My body shuddered, trying desperately to keep it together. I wasn't doing a very good job. My short shuttering gasps and shacking body betrayed everything.

"You don't have to be strong all the time. It's okay to take the mask off sometimes." He said quietly.

He kept chipping away at that foundation of my walls and fortress. I was so confused. I didn't want him to know anything, but I wanted to tell him and have him make it all go away. But that would mean just about bleeding myself dry, lettithin all the horrible memories the awful terrible things I had done.

The tears fell. Taking the mascara and perfect eyeliner with it. It made black streaks down my face. Not so pretty and dangerous now. Now I was a disaster and a mess. I felt stripped naked and dled dry, all my emotions hung out and nerves fried.

"Jessie... please...I ...I didn't mean to make you cry. I...I just wanted you to know that...I'm not going anywhere. You can't push me away, not after the way we kissed, or how I could look into your stormy eyes...no way. You're not alone anymore. I wanna help. Please."

I just let out another shuttering cry. I wanted help. I wanted everything he was offering, but I was so scared. I had been so determined to do everything on my own, and had relied on my own for so long it was hard to let go.

"I ...I don't know how!" I somehow managed to get out between gasps.

"We'll figure it out." He said. I felt him move closer. "For right now...can I hug you?"

I picked my head up and looked around at him, confused. He sat waiting, his one hand still on her back but he hadn't moved.

"I don't think anyone has asked me that."

"First for everything." He gave me a small smile.

"Touche shank." I muttered. The tears still slid down my face.

Minho slowly reached up and his thumb gently ran over my cheekbone. Trying to wipe the black tears. I gently leaned into his touch. His hand went flat, cupping the side of my face. My eyes closed, my chest still heaved, trying to even it out. His other hand left my back and cupped the other side of my face. He held my face in his hands. Minho's thumbs ran back and forth over my cheekbone.

I took a deep shuddering breath. My eyes were closed tight, trying to fight down the wild fight or flight response that was trying to take over.

"Breath Jessie."

His thumbs kept running gently over her cheeks. I tried to take a breath but I was shaking to hard. My hands had grabbed onto his wrists, squeezing hard. Trying to keep myself from getting up and running away. Minho pulled my head forwards and he placed his forehead on mine. His breath mixed with mine, his nose was brushing on mine.

"It's okay to fall apart. I'll help put you back together. Also... Taco's fall apart all the time and we love them!"

It was so such a rediculous thing to say I giggled. Which turned into a gasping laugh. Minho straightened up and smirked at me. I felt like such a wild mess. I had black tear marks down my face, my eyes red from crying, my chest hurt from gasping and now my stomach hurt from laughing.

•×•

We lay side by side again on the rough of the barn. My tears had dried, and I had done my best to wipe the mess away. Minho had offered his shirt, which I rolled my eyes.

"You trying to take your shirt off, again?"

"Do I need an excuse?" He smirked.

"Maybe."

"Wanna know a secret?" He asked.

I hummed, laying my head cautiously on his shoulder.

"I never used to sleep shirtless."

I snorted. "Well I'm not complaining."

"I didn't think so."

I scoffed while he chuckled. We lapsed into a comfortable silence for a while. He had laced his hand with mine and brought our hands up and he played with my fingers.

"Jess, will you tell me about the maze you came from?"

I paused thinking. "What do you want to know?"

"You were alone for a month... tell me about the month alone. How did you survive?"

He rolled onto his side, propping his head up and looked at me. I looked up at the stars. I told him everything I could remember about the month alone.

It was weird talking about the month I was alone. No one really cared how I survived or what I did. Minho asked questions about it, wanted to know details. It was like he actually cared about what I said and what I felt. He didn't shy away from my vaulger launguage or bitter attitude, or my aggressive behaviour.

What also got me was that it didn't seem to bother him that I was comfortable and confident in my body and how I fainted it sometimes.

"Just promise you won't kiss someone else...and promise me you like throwing knives at me the best."

"Promise. 100% promise." I paused. Chewing the inside of my cheek for a second. "The only two people who I would probably let touch me are Newt and Winston...and you don't have to worry about them trust me."

"Those two are the only shanks I would trust, and Fry. Okay maybe Jeff..."

"No. I don't think I'd let them touch me."

He hummed. And I let a small smile play on my lips. Which made him smile even bigger, I saw his eyes glint in the moons reflection.

"You're pretty cute when you smile like that and I hear you giggle."

"Oh." I frowned and sat up slowly. "And when I'm angry and throwing knives?"

"Jessie, your hot as shuck."

I turned my head and looked at him, raising an eyebrow. I slipped a knife out and spun it between my fingers.

"You're sure?"

"Shuck yes. You probably don't want to know what I was thinking while I watched you throw those knives. Next time I take no responsibility when I pin you to a wall..."

"Hmm...a little kinky."

His chest rumbled. "You have no shucken idea."

I turned towards him and slammed.y knife point down beside his ear. I saw his smirk widen, his eyes darken. He reached out for me. And pulled me close. He pulled me down, his as rms around me, shifting us both so I ended up straddling him. His hands tangled in my hair. My hands buried in his always perfect hair; it was thick and soft. The knife I stabbed was left, forgotten in the wood roof.

I was to focused on him. The boy who beat was battered his way into my dark empty heart. He kissed me so hard we both moaned, making us both smile into the next kiss.

Maybe I was playing with fire. Maybe I was giving him ammunition for hurting me later. But right now... kissing Minho and listening to the promise of being beside me made me forget everything. For now.