OKAY SO MY DAD HAS A COWORKER (I'M JUST GONNA CALL HIM ALLEN CAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME) THAT SPEAKS FLUENT ENGLISH, BUT HE CAME HERE FROM MOLDOVA, SO HE SPEAKS MOLDOVAN, TOO. BUT HIS BROTHER (LETS CALL HIM MIKE CAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME EITHER) CAME, TOO, BUT HE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH. SO ALLEN HAS TO TRANSLATE EVERYTHING MY DAD TELLS HIM. SO, FOR EXAMPLE, MY DAD WILL SAY SOMETHING LIKE "ALRIGHT WE HAVE TO TAKE THESE PIPES DOWN" AND ALLEN WILL TRANSLATE IT FOR MIKE AND SAY SOME WEIRD MOLDOVAN SHIT. SO, AFTER THE JOB WAS DONE, MY DAD TOLD ALLEN AND MIKE WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO THE NEXT DAY. OF COURSE, ALLEN TRANSLATED IT FOR MIKE, BUT AT THE END, IT SOUNDED LIKE HE SAID "YOU FUCKING SHIT". EVERYONE AT THE JOB SITE WAS LIKE "DID HE JUST SAY YOU FUCKING SHIT?" AND OF COURSE ALLEN HEARD AND HE SAID "NO NO NO WE USE IT IN MOLDOVA ALL THE TIME. IT MEANS I DO IT SLOWLY." EVERYONE'S LIKE "NO WAY, REALLY?" AND ALLEN PULLED UP GOOGLE FUCKING TRANSLATE AND SAID WHAT HE SAID IN ROMANIAN (APPARENTLY ROMANIAN IS THE SAME AS MOLDOVAN) TO ENGLISH AND GOOGLE SPOKE BACK WITH "I DO IT SLOWLY". EVERYONE JUST STARTED DYING OF LAUGHTER. I AM NOT SHITTING YOU YOU CAN PULL UP GOOGLE TRANSLATE FOR YOURSELF, DO ENGLISH TO ROMANIAN, AND TYPE IN "I DO IT SLOWLY".

I SWEAR TO GOD I'M FUCKING DEAD-