Warning: Blood, alcohol addiction and cutting mentions.

***

Rage.

Patton threw open his dorm room, it loudly slamming against the wall. Spinning on his heel and jumping in the air, he kicked it shut, another loud bang echoed down the hall. No bothering to even close the curtains, he ripped the covers from his bed, tearing the apart with his bare hands in a fit of pure rage. Light blue straps of fabric littered the floor as his breathing quickened.

His chest puffed in and out as he contiuned to rampage. He kicked his bed, hitting to his closet. He ran to the dresser in the corner, knocking everything off in one fell swoop. He grabbed all of his things off the floor and began throwing them at the wall, adding dent after dent and even a few holes. He grabbed the top of his wooden dresser and threw it to the ground.

Strength he gained from the adrenaline pumped though his veins, the mirror smashing. He jumped on the back of the dresser, beginning to jump up and down as he did immeasurable damage to the piece of furniture. Eventually, he fell though, the smashed pieces of glasses ripping his clothes and marking his skin. He barely felt it at all, like it wasn't even there.

It managed to make him stop though.

After a while, he began laughing, insanity evident in the sound of his voice. Blood leaked on the carpet as he contiuned to laugh. He pulled himself out, limping over to his stripped bed as the red liquid contiuned to pour from his legs. He lay down, pulling his pocket knife from the draw beneath the mattress. He scratched the wall with the knife, writing the words he loved to the most.

Logan's mine ♡

Over and over again. Eventually, it covered his whole room. Sighing in content, he wrapped his wounds and fell asleep, not bothering to clean his room as he liked it that way.

Confusion.

Logan sighed to himself, even the gorgeous lilac walls of his separate living space were not even enough to make his shoulders relax even the slightest. He sat at his desk, burying his face in hands as frustration brewed in his chest. It wasn't anything physical that perplexed him this time though. Being the intelligent man that Logan was, he still couldn't crack the code of Patton's psyche.

It would take an expert on the subject of psychology to solve the conundrum that was the insane mind that belonged to the seemingly chipper young man.  One thing was certain though, Patton had something insane in his head and that was all Logan was sure about. It frustrated him to know that there was something he didn't fully understand, something he couldn't figure out with prior knowledge.

He groaned to himself, a lot of things were making him think this way lately, Roman and Virgil's drastically changed relationship in less then 20 minutes was a key example. He seemed to be the only one who really analyzing the situations he seemed to fall into with these people with a careful eye. He couldn't read any of the people in life and that bothered him immensely.

His head throbbed as a headache from all the over analyzing everything that happened in recent years. Why did not understanding something bothering him so much? His mind was breaking himself in half trying to figure out what is always happening in his life. He groaned as his head pained and stood up to go get some headache medication to stop the pain in his head.

Think you'd need a psychologist medicine for that instead of a doctors.

Insecurity.

Virgil entered his room carefully, his good mood ruined as he remembered who he was. It had gotten a lot hotter since lunch so he took off his leather jacket. As he took off his sweater to change into a normal shirt however, Virgil stared at himself in unrecognition though the glass of the mirror next to him. His own body didn't feel like his own, almost as if it were completely foreign to him.

He was repulsed by simply looking at himself, he was so horrifically thin, you could see his ribs. He traced a finger where any normal person would have skin. Scars littered his form were faint from the time that they had been engraved into his skin. He then trailed his finger across the mostly faded marks, wishing to add more to completely cover his pale skin.

But he unable to grab a shrap object to do so without raising suspicion from Logan.

He sighed as he stopped caring for the heat, picking his gray sweater back and pulling it over his head, removing his replusive body from view. He contiuned to stare into the mirror, not seeing body that belonged to him. Virgil gently took the mirror from the nail that held the hook up on the wall, turning it around and hanging it back up so he didn't have to look at himself.

He turned back to see his new journal on his bed, still open but upside down. As he reread the passages he had written that he had written before they went out, he grimaced at his stupidity. Logan had a boyfriend, of course Patton was his boyfriend. It certainly explained a lot of the looks Patton gave him. But why would Logan let Virgil hold his hand if they were?

Roman had distracted him from it for while but heartache still filled his chest. He could never compare to Patton and Logan had already choose him so what did it matter? He was nothing, just someone Logan had helped that remained clinging to him ever since then and Logan didn't have the heart to kick out. He ripped the page he had written on, rolling it into a ball and throwing it into the trash can in the corner of his room.

That's what Virgil was.

Just worthless trash.

Exhaustion.

Sleep filled Roman's eyes as he entered his messy, cramped apartment at midnight. He practically dragged himself across the small room and unceremoniously flopped onto the air mattress on he called a bed. He pulled out the cheap, old filp phone that he had, only seeing texts from his dirty scumbag of a boss. He'd been working all day for the cash he needed to keep his crap apartment.

The only break he took was when he had gone to lunch that to do a quick job for some more money to make ends meet as his boss said. His boss still told him that he didn't do the job right. He sighed, scrolling down to see if anyone else had texted him. Just his mum's normal barely understandable text, begging her also struggling son for money. No, not beg, demand for like she was entitled to his small amount of money.

It was obvious she had been drinking from her texts. Roman sighed, knowing of her toxic and harmful addiction to alcohol and dependence on it as well as her dependence on her not at all well off son. She didn't have a job of her own, she just sat on her ass drinking all day and Roman payed the bill. She took advantage of the heroism in his heart to gain something from him just like everyone else did.

But even being fully aware of that, he still payed when when she asked. Why? Because he had toxic love for her, she was his mother, not that she could really be considered that. Not only that but she was the only real family he had left and he couldn't bare that thought of losing her. He knew when he didn't pay, she could

So he payed and now, he had barely enough for rent that day.

Guess he'd have to skip out on dinner so his mother can feed into her horrible addiction... again.

***

1321 words.

Everything is pretty lowkey in this chapter when talking the mindset of characters but Patton is just fricken insane omfg.