*CW: this article has spoilers from the following books

-Simon and his friend group in Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens by Becky Albertalli

-Tessa and Lenore One True Loves by Elise M Bryant

-Stella and Poe from Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott

Most of the iconic friendships that we see in contemporary YA books include opposite-attract friendships. I think that these are the most unique friendships because readers get to explore each character's personality traits, home lives, and the reason behind looking for a friend who will be there for you on the roughest days, listen to you, and know your strengths and weaknesses.

Oftentimes these relationship bonds are formed in high schools, in clubs, and during other activities where the main character doesn't expect to make a friend but does in the end. These expectations vs. reality situations that the characters have for themselves create interesting plot lines for the audience to be invested in. And therefore, creates an interest for the readers to read on if they like the character, their friendship, or can relate to their best friend. It is important that the reader sees the characters' connection and understands what makes these people best friends other than the fact that they know each other from something that they attend.

According to Kira Newman from The Greater Good Magazine, she says, "All the way through high school and college, friendships can feel easy because you are thrown into an environment where you have lots of same-age peers and the pool of potential friends is big. Also, when you're an adolescent, your brain is as attuned to social signals and connection as it will ever be. You are really hyper-interested in social activity.
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Kira is correct, it is easy to meet people when you are thrown into an environment that is meant to be for people in your age-range. Oftentimes, schools and after-school clubs will hold community events and networking events for young people to get to know people who have the same interests as them. During these clubs and events, it's easy to feel like you are the odd one out but it is also a reason to talk to people, even if you aren't interested in what they are talking about. It's a chance to put yourself out there and meet a best friend in the most unlikely situation. You may not like where you are forced to be but at least you have each other.

One example of this is the popular book, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli. Simon, Abby, Nick, and Leah are best friends but do not have similar interests. Simon is a bit shy and awkward and loves after-school theater, whereas his best friend Nick is a musician and an athlete. And then there is Leah who is the female best friend who is sarcastic and good at fine arts but likes to bottle up her feelings so that none of her friends see her cry. Lastly, there's Abby who is Simon's second female best friend who is well-liked and very involved in several after-school activities. Although this group of friends does not have much in common they do support each other and understand each other's home lives and circumstances outside of school. They all met in situations that they were forced to be in and understand each other's strengths and weaknesses from those situations. This makes the group of friends stronger since they can understand each other when they are having a tough time. Honestly, they wouldn't have been best friends if it was not for these after-school activities and classes that they had to take part in.

However, there are also friends that you meet in school who try to support you in ways that you might not agree on. In the book, One True Loves by Elise M. Bryant, the main character, Lenore, does not agree with her on what her relationship status should be after her nasty breakup with a guy that she thought liked her. Lenore's best friend Tessa believes in romcoms, Nicholas Sparks Movies, and cheesy happily ever afters. And Lenore does not understand that kind of lifestyle because she is a black girl who has the most conservative family she could ask for. The summer after Tessa's nasty break-up with the guy who she thought liked her, her family goes on a cruise and Tessa believes that this is the perfect chance for Lenore to have her meet cute moments and have her one true love. However, Lenore does not want anything to do with guys this summer. She wants to re-discover her passion so that she isn't the only black girl at NYU who is undeclared. This circumstance is not unusual for the YA best friends who are opposites trope because you don't need to have anything in common with your best friend to be friends with them and you definitely don't need to take their relationship advice. This sounds like a disagreement between Lenore and Tessa but we have to understand that one character is a hopeless romantic while the one gave up on romance. Tessa has and always will be the girl who reads teen magazines, watches romcoms, and likes posters of boys in her locker whereas Lenore needs her best friend to support her whether she's in a relationship or not.

According to Sheena Greer from Holstee Reflection's Blog, she says that "If we can strip apart our differences, we can communicate to connect. And if we can connect to one another, we can create bonds that are stronger than any differences. Keep it simple and you can keep it true. This is the greatest kind of friendship."

This is true for any group of friends or pair of best friends. If you can support each other and make time for each other then you can create that unforgettable bond whether you disagree or agree on your favorite tv shows, love lives, or decisions. The greatest bonds are created after arguments like Lenore and Tessa's where something personal comes between their friendship. The two girls may disagree with each other and do not have any of the same interests but they still understand that girls come before guys. Tessa is still there for Lenore during her rough times on the family cruise she is on. At the end of the day, Tessa is still Lenore's best friend from high school even though Tessa wants Lenore to focus on her love life while she is on vacation and Lenore does not. The most important part of Tessa and Lenore's friendship is that they still keep in contact with each other even though Lenore is overseas dealing with boy and family problems while Tessa is back home. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Although those friendships are ones that were created from school activities, there are also circumstances where people may become best friends because they are forced to be with each other outside of school. In Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott, Stella and Poe are best friends who are both Cystic Fibrosis patients. They bond over their similar treatments, medications, and daily health struggles in the hospital but are total opposites. Stella is independent and likes to follow the rules. And Poe likes to be a risk taker and go-getter when it comes to anything in life whether it is sports or cafeteria food. While the two of them share experiences from being in the hospital as children and young adults and are forced to be together, well six feet apart from each other they also support each other in ways readers may not understand.

According to the Mental Health First Aid Organization, "friendships can help increase our sense of belonging, improve our self-confidence and help reduce stress and anxiety. In fact, studies have shown that 'those who enjoy close friendships over their teenage years have a lower rate of depression or anxiety later in life."

Stella and Poe understand that being in the hospital is traumatizing and lonely. They have a mutually shared experience that others do not understand, even Stella's friends from back when she attended high school do not understand these experiences. I think that readers can tell that Poe gives Stella a sense of belonging and self-confidence in the book since she is not outgoing or confident in her social life. The two bounce back from each other's personalities and help each other in ways we might not understand. For example, Poe likes to play games and make jokes in the hospital and take detours while Stella is more quiet and more strict to follow her nurse's rules. They may not have similar interests but they can relate to each other's hospital experiences and that is what forced them to be together in the first place.

The concept of being stuck together with someone does not seem appealing to anyone, whether they are a young adult or grown adult, however they may find that their interests and experiences may help them meet other people like them. You never know where you will be your best friend. It might be in high school, on a cruise ship, a theater company, on a sports team, or in a hospital. Who knows? Best friends are there for each other and provide a sense of belonging for another, that is what matters. You do not have to agree with everything your best friend says or do the same activities that they do.

Fun Facts:

-Elise Bryant's books are set in the same universe but each book has different characters and a different setting. So they are companion books.

-The color that Stella uses the most in her artwork is the color purple. Purple is the official color for CF patients.

-The title "Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda" is a hint that Simon is homosexual and needs to "battle" the fear of being rejected that he does like the same sex. Homo Sapiens agenda is the coming out and that it shouldn't be just homo sexual people but everyone.

-Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens is the book the Love, Simon is based on. And I am sure that a ton of people are in love with the Hulu show, Love, Victor which takes place in the simonverse.

Questions:

-Tell us about your favorite best friend pair or group who have contrasting characteristics, (can be from a YA book or from somewhere else.

-Can you recommend another YA book that has this trope? It can be from your bookshelf or from Wattpad.

-What makes you and your best friend connect?