When two siblings both fall in love with the same boy for the third time, they are both determined to not only win his heart but one up the other. But after a while of sudden romantic roses and sudden dead birds, they both realize their old strategies won't work.

But then they realize the way to Virgil's heart is through his stomach, they both break out their cooking skills, desperate for his affection.

Will they manage push him away, like the other two men they both pursed? Or will one of them win his heart?

Find out on this all new sitcom, Two twins, one poor, helpless guy.

Prolouge:

Since Roman and Remus were twins and two sides of the same coin, they had very similar taste in men. Tall, darkly dressed, intelligent, sassy, a little on the mysterious side, strong and charming in a strange way, I could go on for a long time. And, because they shared the same small space with each other, they always seemed to fall in love with the same people every. Single. Time. 

It had began with Logan. To say the least, that didn't last too long. After about a month of Roman constantly trying to start romantic Disney like duets with him and Remus getting boners whenever he entered the room, Logan swiftly and not so mercifully rejected them both. When Logan had explained that he had no interest in either of them as he was very Patton-sexual, they both moved on.

Moved on to Deceit, that is.

As soon as Deceit realized what was going on, he immediately began to take advantage of it. Getting two more votes for his choice every movie night, making them make dinner when he was supposed to among with many, many other favors. Eventually, after a few months, he got sick of constantly being used as the rope in their brotherly tug of war and told them both to fuck off.

After those two dreadful fisicos, they both managed to develop affections for Virgil who was none the wiser. As usual, they both set out to make him fall in love with them by doing big gestures, from cliche and romantic to gruesome and deadly. One day, Virgil woke up to a bouquet of roses waiting for him which he thought was odd. Then, upon opening his door, he saw a dead bird outside his room.

Needless to say, he screamed.

Still, Virgil was clueless, if a little weirded out and disturbed. 

At some point, it sunk into the brother's that their usual tactics weren't working. So, individually, they both began to brainstorm new ideas to win the angsty emo's heart with very little luck. Eventually famILY game night came around, which was essentially the one night of the month where all the sides could get together and play board games and the works.

At some point, they had been to play truth or dare which was chaotic from the very start. Almost immediately, Logan had done a handstand for a round, Deceit had eaten a whole steak without a knife or fork and Patton had to start and end every sentence with a swear word until someone said his full name among other stupid things. Everyone was having a good time.

Eventually it came time when it was Patton's turn to truth or dare Virgil. They were all sat in a circle, with Patton and Virgil on opposite sides of it by pure happenstance. "Truth or dare, kiddo!" He asked, although his voice was slightly muffled because he was snuggling up to Logan. They were very cute, Roman thought to himself. He couldn't wait till he and Virgil were cuddling during game night too.

Honestly, no one was surprised with what Virgil picked. He never really chose dare, especially when the game got this stupid. It made sense, since he was anxiety. "Truth." He muttered, clearly much less energetic than Patton. They had all played monopoly before that which always exhausted him. Remus smirked. He bet he could Virgil ten times as exhausted, just by fucking him. He snickered quietly to himself.

Patton thought for a moment, blissfully unaware of Roman and Remus's thoughts about his little boy. He snapped his fingers once he thought of something. "What's one thing that a guy can do that will immediately win your heart?" Both the twin's eyes immediately widened. As nonchalantly as they could, they both gave Virgil their full attention so they could make notes.

Virgil caught them both staring at him but tried to shrug it off. He thought about it for a moment. "Make badass prawn, I love prawn. Actually, just being good at cooking in general." Yes, while Patton made food, he was more of a baker than anything else. Other than him, no one could really make food without checking the recipe every five seconds. Roman raised an eyebrow, a little confused.

Huh, he thought, guess the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Remus smirked at the information, it was seriously that easy? Just make some food and he'll fall head over heels? Remus could do that. While Patton fanboyed over his answer for a little while, trying to figure out who he had a crush on, the game continued as normal, with everyone eventually forgetting about it. 

Well, everyone except Remus, who snuck off when no one was looking to put his plan into action.

***

As Virgil sat up in his bed, he stretched out his stiff limbs, yawning as he did so. He pried open his tired eyes to glance at the clock on his bedside. 3 am. So he got like four hours of sleep. That's four more than usual! He had to celebrate with a bottle of Gatorade from the fridge down in the kitchen. At least, that's how he convinced to drag himself out of bed and out of the door. 

As he wandered his way downstairs, he began to get a sinking feeling. Like something really bad was about to happen. It was if the jaws theme was playing in his head. Though he tried to ignore it, it just became louder and louder as he walked into the kitchen. Each step seemed to make a loud creak, making his heart pound violently against his ribs in pure panic.

The internal jaws theme reached full throttle when he had reached the fridge. He gulped before slowly opening the door, mentally preparing himself for anything. "Hello!" Remus shouted, leaning in really close from his place inside the fridge. Virgil screamed, as any sane person would at getting scared by someone jumping out of the fridge. Well, needless to say, he was not prepared for everything.

In his fright, Virgil tripped over his own feet and fell onto his back. Remus crawled over to Virgil's feet, kneeling by him as he snickered. Virgil panted on the floor, feeling his heart nearly burst out his chest at the sudden shock. Angrily he sat up and glared at Remus, his nose inches from Remus's own, only serving to make the latter to smirk even more. "Remus, what the fu-?!?"

Before Virgil could even finish scolding for nearly causing him to have a heart attack, Remus leaned forward over Virgil's knees, bopping their noses together. "Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?!" He asked excitedly, just as loud as before. In all honesty, Virgil was surprised that no side had stormed out of their room to see what all of the ratchet was about downstairs. 

Almost immediately, Virgil reeled back away from him, shuffling away. Not only because Remus was far too close but also because his breath smelt like rotten sardines. Processing the question, he blinked rapidly for a second. He scrunched up his nose in confusion. "I- wha- I'm sorry, what did you just say??" No, there was absolutely no way he had actually heard that correctly.

Honestly, he couldn't believe that Remus would actually invite out somewhere. Needless to say, he didn't seem like the invite you to a nice dinner type to say the least. Despite this, it was apparently true. "I just invited you to dinner, have you gone deaf Virgil? Guess that's natural with Roman lettuce's singing." He jested, making fun of his twin to make himself seem better by comparison.

Usually, he would've laughed at the harsh jab at Roman but, in all honesty, he was too perplexed by Remus's question to process it. Virgil saw absolutely reason why he would want to go anywhere with him. Their history wasn't pleasant to say the least. He scoffed, rolling his eyes at Remus thinking it was necessary to even ask. "No? Why would I ever want-"

Although, Remus had already predicted his knee jerk reaction, smirking. "I'll make juicy prawn~" He promised. Virgil's eyes widened, restarting his consideration. Remus usually meant trouble. But then again, if there was even a chance of prawn, Virgil could take that risk. Virgil met his eyes hesitantly, face much softer and Remus could already tell what his answer was going to be.