Amberley
"I see the terror in your eyes. What's made you so frightened, little princess?"

I don't scream. I recall his warning for every noise I make, another whip scar will be added to my back and legs.

"I'm... I'm not scared, sir..."My voice trembles as if I'm choking on the lie that slips past my unbelievable lips.

I don't dare look the King in his eye. Instead, I stare at the dull toned robes that he carries himself in. The wrinkles in the rich fabric sends a unwelcome ping of hope that maybe the man before me is human after all.

The thought was ripped away as quick as it came. I feel the King's rough, calloused fingers grip my chin and yank my gaze to his. His eyes are a cold grey, a grey that used to remind me of a silver sea but now, now they are an endless stone wall or the point of a sword.

"You will look at me when I speak to you, or so help me God, I will beat you until you can't speak," the King hisses.

I push down the panic rising in my gut. The panic that leaks into my every bone, muscle and pore like a thick, relentless poison.

"Forgive me, sir..." I mumble weakly. My neck throbs were the King has my chin painfully forced upward.

Don't scream. If I don't scream, he will let me go and he will leave. Just don't scream. Just don't scream. Just don't scream.

"Forgive you? You stupid, naive little princess. Would your mother forgive you for taking her life in exchange for your useless one?"

I feel my insides turn painfully. My mother... I don't know her but the thought of the mother I never had makes me very aware the endless hole in my chest.

"I'm sorry sir... so sorry."

The King sneers and throws my head away as if my touch causes him pain. I rub my sore chin tentatively, letting myself revel in the chance that the King will leave me alone today, that he will leave without another word.

"Sorry... such a useless waste of breath. Apologies don't change a single thing. Pain... pain is a different story. You can do anything if you have the power to inflict pain."

My eyes go wide and I barely have time to brace myself before the King raises a decorated hand and backhands me, his hatred and momentum both helping his strong swing.

I gasp and slam down onto the hard ground. I feel everything in this moment. I hear everything in this moment. The first hit is truly and undeniably the worst hit.

"Do you feel that, little princess? Pain... it can make you do anything..."the King says from behind me.

I feel my body tremble as I lift myself up from the ground. The stone is cold underneath my clammy palms. Stone, just like the Kings eyes. The cold suddenly stings and sends unwelcome anxiety to stab my stomach.

I stand, touching the side of my cheek. My fingers come away slick and covered with the familiar sight of liquid crimson. I stare at the Kings array of ruby and sapphire rings, now wet with my blood.

"Father..." I plead silently.

The King, my father, only stares at me with a detached expression. But I still see the chaos churning behind his eyes, the thrill of making me suffer.

For a second, I let myself imagine him bending down and taking me into his arms, stroking my hair and telling me how much he wishes he was different, how he will try to change.

Instead, a wildfire sparks behind his hard gaze. He stalks forward, smirking as he unlinks the buckle of his belt. He pulls it off in one swift motion, letting it swing between us like a deadly cobra, preparing to strike.

"Father... father please don't do this," I plead. I feel the pain already. My mind is empty except for one consuming emotion. Pure, undeniable fear. Suddenly, I see the end as it begins.

He growls and pulls me towards him. He throws me against the side of my cotton bed and I sob as I hide my face in my hands.

"Father..." I yell.

"That's five times you called me that. That means five lashes, little princess."

I feel the cold air hit my back as the Kings cold hands rip my cotton night dress down the seams, revealing my backside to my father. Another terrified sob echoes through my body and into the room.

I hear the crack before I register the pain but soon my back is lit on fire. I only moan as the belt lands solidly on the top of my back.

"Who am I?"

I feel the tears stream down my face.

"The King."

~

I awake with a sharp intake of breath and my body covered in a thin sheen of sweat. I looked around the room and felt panic grip me.

This room, and a sleeping Evan right next me is just too much. I make sure my cries are quieted by my soft pillow but I can't hold back my sobs any longer. A thought strikes me. The training room... Eli said Evan went there when he was upset and he always came back happier.

Maybe something there would work for me. I suck up my cries and carefully crawl out of my bed, welcoming the coldness of the stone floor. I slipped on Evan's wool slippers and made my way out into the silent Clandestine halls.

A sob escaped and I sounded pathetic even to myself. Everyone hates me... everyone single person down here. Eli probably even resents me for making him take me everywhere today.

My feet are soundless as I jog down the hall but the feeling of my feet pounding against stone makes my legs ache. I follow the doors like I did the first night I woke up here and soon I come across the familiar one. Weapons/ Training Room.

I rip open the door aggressively and I feel slightly bad for doing so, so I close it gently behind me.

I turn, unsure of what to do and why exactly I came here in the first place. I didn't know how to use any of these things, couldn't run more than a few seconds without losing breath... I could shoot an arrow pretty well but I didn't see any targets set up.

"Is that the famous, Princess Amberley?" A voice questions from a corner of the room. I yelp in surprise and squint to find the source.

"Hello?"

I walk around a rack of swords and I see a group of five or six people sitting besides each other. I recognize two of them... Derrick Rose and Rene Walker.

"Oh, I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to interrupt. It's just Evan comes here when he's upset so I though I'd see what's in here. I'll leave right away," I call quickly, blushing as I turn away.

"Wait a second, you don't have to leave. Come sit down with us," I recognize Derrick's deep voice and hearing it makes chills slither down my spine.

"I don't want to intrude... I really should leave, Evan said something about a curfew."

"Evan, Evan, Evan... come on, we know he's been a dick to you. Come sit with us, Princess," Derrick says.

I think it over. Maybe this would show Evan that I don't need his friendship after all. He doesn't want to be my friend so he wouldn't mind me making my own. That decides it.

"Okay," I agree and walk over to the group.

The group cheers and I can't keep the nervous smile off my face. Maybe my initial thoughts on Evan were wrong. I had called his arms home in my dreams but I have found that and reality to be contradicting.

The group of Altrus seem to be nice and their natural conversation strikes up again and I listen to their banter with tuned ears. People in Clandestine spoke very differently than people in Adana.

"So, Amberley... tell us your story. How did you get here?"

My body tensed but I scrambled for a feasible answer that didn't involve getting abused or stabbed.

"Well, Jeffery and Evan came to the winter ball and I... I was singing as the entertainment for the night and Jeffery sensed my powers, I suppose. So they brought me here."

The blonde Rene scoffed. "A ball... I'm sure you go to those often."

I could sense the disdain in her voice and I stared to see the real reason why they brought me down here.

"Actually no... my father is not a fan of balls."

This time a dyed red head girl spoke up. "You mean the King... the King that let my parents die."

"My father is not a stable man..."

"So you're telling me you had no say in how your father used his army. You didn't have any power to save us?" She pushed.

A sweat broke out on my brow and I wished I never left my room.

"In Adana, woman rarely have a say in anything at all... especially in matters of war," I answered, my voice small.

"Liar! You probably let your father turn his back on us... you're privileged, spoiled little girl who has found herself in a little predicament. We've heard the rumors freak... did daddy give you boo boos? I bet he gave your dead mother lots of boo boos," Rene growls out.

The group is silent as they gauge my reaction. I feel an odd feeling surge through me and Rene is no longer just Rene... she's someone I want to hurt.

"Don't talk about my mother," I say quietly.

I stand, ready to get out of this position as soon as I can.

"You're a freak! Look at your face... you think anyone could love someone who looks like fake doll?" Rene continues. I start to walk away, feeling tears swell in my eyes. I hear Rene's are steps behind me.

"What are those?" She questions. I turn around to see what she's talking about but she's looking right through me.

"Are those whip scars? Wow, your daddy really hated you. Or maybe they're from the men you've whored around with," she says viciously.

"Shut... shut up!" I yell, suddenly furious. Today's events build up that unbearable feeling in my gut and I turn and run out before I do anything I regret.

"Yes, run!... Princess my ass!"

~

To say I knew what kept me sane this past week, would be a complete and utter lie. For some reason I managed to stay balanced on the teetering line of going off the deep end. The steadiness made me want to throw myself over the edge

The Altrus of Clandestine were cruel and devious just as my father had always said. I walked down halls by myself when Eli couldn't escort me so most of the time I suffered the taunting alone. They would trip me, throw around insults like small talk and mock me as if I were there only entertainment.

Eli, Jackson and Jeffery were the only ones who offered me any asylum but unfortunately there were often busy or somewhere else in the big expanse of Clandestine.

Despite his claim to be my friend, Evan never spoke a word to me after our conversation. He chose to act like I didn't exist. I found myself missing his smirks and glances. I felt strangely empty without them. I wondered every night as we lay next to each other if he would send one my way.

The Altrus always found ways to taunt me outside of classes but once we were in session, I was invisible. Everyone ignored me, even Samara Alvar stuck me inside the soundproof room to sing "feelings" into inanimate objects while the rest of the class worked and practiced together. I could still hear Derrick and Rene laugh at insults they mustered up.

To my surprise, I missed the castle. At least I could dream and pretend there, here all my flaws were on display.

Training was miserable. Coach Lawley was a out spoken, tall man who had no problem telling you that you were failing at life. Today, he had sent me and me alone to run laps around the training room just as I did everyday as the rest of the group practiced archery.

I sighed shakily, my breath already stolen from me. I was not a good runner. My legs were to to thin and weak and whenever I moved the scars on my back burned and twisted but I had practiced archery in secret back at the castle and found myself to be quite good.

Evan unsurprisingly hit every target in the bullseye. I couldn't help but stare at his muscles as he pulled the bowstring taut. He would flick his blonde hair out of his face and smile his real smile. At training he was the happiest I ever see him but as soon as we were alone in his room at night he was quiet and forlorn.

"Hey princess, get your sad little butt over here!" Coach Lawley called. I stumbled to a stop, bewildered that he was even addressing me. I pointed at myself, silently asking me? Lawley rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Obviously running wasn't on the Princess's daily schedule of pampering. Let's see how you fare with the bow," he said. I blushed as the group laughed. I walked briskly to the table where the arrows and bows were piled upon. I avoided the gazes of the classmates who all seemed to be watching me.

You can do this. A boys voice echoed in my mind. My eyebrows furrowed and I really though I had lost it but as I looked at Evan, he nodded encouragement. He had sent me a message in my mind. I couldn't help but wonder if he could read my thoughts. If he could: I hate you Evan Conway!

"We don't have all day!" Coach Lawley growled.

"Give her a break coach," Evan spoke, glancing at the trainer with a hard glare.

"Shut it, Conway," was all Coach said as if he was used to Evan talking back to him.

I looked to Evan once more before picking up a medium sized bow and a brown arrow. The arrow head looked deadly and I felt a jolt of excitement that I was actually given a task I was good at.

I took my time nocking the arrow and pulled it back. I lined myself up with the last of three targets. The others arrows had been removed and I was pleased to have a clear target. My fingers barely touched the arrow and I felt my fingers graze my ear.

I felt a small pull of my gut and I felt free, just for a second as I released the arrow on my exhale. As if the moment was on a string, the arrow shot towards the target, slamming onto the bullseye.

I heard the crowd behind me go completely silent and I couldn't erase the small smile that pulled onto my lips. This felt good. I suddenly forgot all about the past week entirely.

I repeated my actions on the second target, hitting home again. The room was so silent I swore I could hear the blood running in my veins. I moved onto the third, suddenly determined to hit all three. I pulled the arrow back, silently picturing my fears all pinned to the target. I let the arrow fly. It sunk into the small black circle.

I turned and was surprised to see two smiles sent my way, Coach Lawley and Evan. The rest of the group seemed quite flustered.

"Well, the princess is actually good at something," Coach joked. I glanced at my bulls eyes and images of my past week here at Clandestine slammed into me like a bucket full of ice water. The taunts, the ignorance, the disrespect. A foreign anger rushed through my veins and my body acted all on it's own.

I took the bow and flung it to the ground with a grunt. If even possible, the crowd got even quieter. I turned to them and then back to Coach Lawley. He only looked amused and it made me even more furious.

"I am not a princess. Do you really think if I was, I would chose to be down here?" The group seemed shell shocked at my outburst. I was too, I don't think I had ever talked so much in my life. Or talked this loud.

"If I'm such a princess, than why have I been beaten everyday for the past ten years of my life? I am no more royal than the dirt on your shoes but that doesn't mean I will be disrespected as if I'm less than all of you. I won't have it...ever again," my words break off at the end and I feel tears stream down my face.

I suddenly feel guilty as I look at Evan who seems pained at my words. I was mean,
I had yelled. I hate yelling but a foreign feeling was rolling through my gut. A feeling that made my hairs stick up on end. I suddenly realized that these people were my canvas and my words were the paint.

"Amberley," Evan starts, moving forward to place a hand on my arm. I yank away from him with a sob. The tears are flowing freely as I feel my initial power surge fade away.

"No!" I sob "You're just as bad as everyone else! I looked up to your kind, I wanted to be one of you because I thought I would be excepted, welcoming. I thought you all would feel the same pain I feel. But I was wrong, so wrong. This little world down here is hell and I would rather be whipped again than spend another minute here."

I reached down and grabbed the bow. I sent one last look out among the crowd. I was satisfied to seem some guilty faces. No one moved to stop me as I placed the bow back on the table and rushed out of the training room.

My hands shook and my head pounded but for the first time in a long time, I felt confident.