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34-Out of the wilderness

"Dad! I got to tell my story to a real-live writer!" Jacob ran and hugged Josh, who was sitting at the kitchen table when they arrived.

When he looked up from his Bible, Josh's gaze fixed on Dani she instantly knew he wanted to talk. The determined set of his chiseled jaw and the tension she sensed radiating from him caused a nervous flutter in her belly like a swarm of butterflies.

"That's exciting." Josh put his arm around his son, his unwavering gaze on Dani. "You'll have to tell me all about it at dinner."

Jacob glanced at his mom and then back to his dad. "I made sure he understood it was Jesus who saved us! And do you know what?"

Josh turned his attention to Jacob. "What, buddy?"

"I think Mr. Bridges heard." His little face crunched with thought. "You know how some people are told about Jesus but they don't really hear," he explained further.

"That's wonderful. God used you today and you served him well." He mussed Jacob's hair, then fished his phone from his pocket and handed it to Jacob. "Mrs. Huckabee wants to hear all about the interview. While you call her, I'm going to speak with your mom."

"Ok, Dad." Jacob stared down at his dad's phone. "You're letting me call all by myself?"

"I know you can do it. Is that ok?"

"Yes! I can do it, you'll see," Jacob promised running off into the living room. "Be back soon!"

Dani watched her happy child scamper off before returning her attention to the man whose mere presence made her heart beat faster and shivers dance along her spine. "You want to talk.." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "to me."

Josh stood slowly, his lips twitching. "Yeah, I wanna talk...to you."

Her chest tightened. She hadn't imagined the tension between them after all. "Are we breaking up again?"

She'd been half-joking, but a harsh sound came from deep within his chest and she realized he didn't take it that way.

"That what you want, Dani?" Frustration and perhaps anger colored his words.

"No! You seem upset."

His gaze pierced hers. "I'm surprised you'd even ask that question considering everything we've been through to get here. Finally, when we're together again you assume the worst."

"Josh, please, I didn't mean it like that."

"Have I ever given you a reason to think I'm the kind of man to walk away when things get things get rough?"

She stepped forward. "I know you're not. I'm the one who did that, and you know how much I regret it."

"I've already forgiven you. I don't want to rehash the past. That's not what this is about."

Her stomach hollowed. "What is it about?"

"It's obvious somethings wrong." He silently dared her to deny it. "I feel it and I know you do too. You've been quiet, distant. What is it?"

She shifted, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, dreading this conversation. If only it could stay hidden...

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open—Luke 8:17

"Luke 8:17," she breathed.

Josh struggled to remember the verse and then picked up his bible to read it fully. "Is there something you've kept from me?"

"I thought you were having doubts about us because of Meredith," she blurted, heart racing. Once the words rushed out, she couldn't stop herself from confessing the rest. "And then there's Pastor Wyatt, and I-I didn't know how to tell you it all."

He blinked, looking genuinely startled. "I'm not having doubts because of Meredith and--"

"You said you loved her. This—" she gestured wildly between the two of them. "Happened so fast and now we're getting married. I was afraid you were getting cold feet."

His dark gaze fastened on her. "I don't even know where to begin, and I'm not sure how Pastor Wyatt fits into this. One thing at a time."

Three steps brought him to her and he gently threaded his fingers in her hair, holding her face. Her breath caught. "After all these years, you still don't get it, Dani."

The crumbling walls around her heart crashed down, and she felt the sting of tears. "I don't want to lose you, Josh. Not again. I couldn't bear it."

"Lose me?" he asked, his brow furrowed and tone incredulous. "You can't be serious."

Raising her chin, she met his turbulent gaze. "I've never been this serious about anything."

Fierce emotions flashed in his eyes. "It would be easier to lose the sun than me."

"Josh, what are you saying?"

"It's you." He glanced away, shaking his head, and then his gaze claimed hers. "It's always been you, Dani. Even in high school before you knew I existed. Then senior year. All through those dark days when we lost our way, and after Jacob was born. I have always longed for you." His eyes were dark with emotion. "Do you hear me? Nothing will ever change that. I've loved you every single day we were apart and I always will."

She let out a soft cry as warmth sank through her. "That's exactly how I feel about you, Josh. I'll never leave you again. I don't ever want to be without you."

"Then what's going on." His thumb dragged over her bottom lip. "Why the tension between us?"

"I-I was afraid and jealous. I've asked God to forgive me." Her voice cracked a little. "When you said you loved Meredith, I was afraid one day you'd realize you should have chosen her. I'm sorry."

"Ah, Dani." He pressed his head against hers a moment before drawing back to look at her. "You're ripping me apart. I do love Mer, just like I love Annie and Rach. It's not like I feel for you. My only regret is that I didn't realize that before I hurt her."

"Josh." Her hands lifted to cover his which were cradling her face. "I'm sorry, I—"

He released her suddenly, stepped back, and threaded his fingers in his hair. "Don't apologize this is as much my fault. When I told you I loved her, I knew what you would think and a part of me wanted you to be jealous."

Dani turned the words over in her head, not missing the anguish on his face.

"I've asked God to forgive me for my weakness. Now, I'm asking you." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "If I'd known this was what was wrong, I'd have fixed it before now. Dani—"

"You're forgiven." The word rushed from her lips chasing the relief she felt. "I should have talked to you. We both made mistakes. They won't be our last. It's done."

They stared at one another, slow smiles curling their lips. It was one of the sweetest moments she'd always cherish.

"When we marry it's forever, for better or worse.  No matter what. There's no changing your mind or falling out of love. We work it out."

"I've never heard such beautiful words. I love you so much, Josh."

"I love you too." One brow arched above his eyes. "What does Pastor Wyatt have to do with this?"

"I'm not sure. At least I don't have proof." A soft, nervous laugh fell from her lips. "Maybe you should sit down."

"It's that bad?" he teased, eyes twinkling with humor.

"Mrs. Huckabee said my mom and Pastor Wyatt's son, John, dated. Mom found out she was pregnant after John was killed. She said John wasn't the father, but I'm not sure. I asked her and she said to never mention his name again."

"I wasn't expecting that."

"There's no proof, which is why I didn't say anything but I have to tell you. I don't want there to be secrets between us again."

"You did the right thing," he said, sliding his palm along her face.

"I asked God for help."

Josh dipped his head. "Me too. I kept praying."

Her heartbeat spiked. "He led us here."

"I knew He would."

His lips hovered above hers. "Did you really?"

"Yes. This is where we were supposed to be all along." Josh's mouth brushed hers in a feather-light kiss that suddenly caught fire.

Footsteps pounded and Jacob burst into the kitchen and stopped. "What are you guys doing?"

They pulled away from one another, hearts racing, faces flushed, and smiles on their faces.

Josh winked at her before turning to their son. "Your mom and I were about to discuss our wedding."

"I can't wait! Do you need the best man to be a part of this?" Jacob asked eagerly.

"Absolutely, we couldn't do it without you. C'mere kiddo."

Jacob ran and threw an arm around each of them. Finally, after a long time in the wilderness, Dani felt like she was home.

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