Saad's pov: 

"You aren't going anywhere Saad Ibrahim!" As soon as we entered our home and reached the hall, mama stopped me, her voice thundering with a warning, daring me to go against her. Sighing, I stopped at my place, already feeling tired. 

"Let him go, Maria. You can question him all you want later." Baba interrupted, looking at me with sympathy.  

"I'm not speaking to you Faisal." Giving baba a sharp glare, she replied. And it was one of the rare times when she actually took his name, which indicated that she was really very angry. 

"Mama, wh-" 

"Nor am I talking to you Maaz Ibrahim." Mama interrupted once again when bhai tried to intervene, turning her sharp glare towards him. She had, undoubtedly, taken our full name, which, once again, indicated that she was fuming and wouldn't listen to anyone. "Would you like to interrupt me too, like them, Zara?" Glancing at her, I saw her turning her sharp glare at bhabi now, daring her to go ahead and say if she wanted to say anything. By the look on her face, I knew bhabi wanted to interrupt, but quietly shaking her head, she looked down, making mama add in satisfaction. "No? Better. But I do have questions for you all too." 

"Can't you see how tired he looks? Just let him rest, at least for today." Holding mama's arm to calm her down, baba tried to intervene once again, a worried look taking over his features. 

"Does it look like I care? So much has been going on behind my back and you expect me to just let it go? I have questions and I want them answered, now!" Shrugging her arm out of his hold, mama snapped angrily. 

"Maria. Try to understand-" 

"You try to understand! I can't just sit back and watch stuff unfolding in front of me! And you know what? It looked like I was the only clueless clown who didn't know what was going on there while you all knew about it all the time! You know how confusing, how embarrassing, how disrespecting it felt?!" Narrowing her eyes at baba furiously, she interrupted once again while showing him a finger, her voice rising an octave as she turned to glare at me before adding. "Saalo ki mehnat se jo reputation banai thi, wo ek jhatke me mitti me mila di tumne Saad, ek jhatke me! Do you even realise what you just did? And what were you saying there? That she is your wife? And that they are your in-laws? Tell me Saad, ANSWER ME!" 

(The reputation which we built from years of hard work, you ruined it in just a moment Saad, in just a moment!) 

I was getting fed up with this growing drama. I hated it! And when mama brought her reputation in between before asking me again, I replied angrily, getting frustrated. Why would she doubt me? What was so hard to understand or accept in this? "YES MAMA! Yes! She is my wife and they are my in-laws! Do I need to repeat myself?" 

The sound of the slap resounded in the room before I could even anticipate something like that happening or feel the sting, and the gasps echoed around, making me close my eyes as tears stung my vision. It hurt my heart more than my cheeks! I- I didn't even remember the last time when mama raised her hand on me. And for what? Just because I was finally accepting the truth and confronting it? 

"Bhai-" 

"Don't. Don't you even dare repeat that in front of me again! Bhaad me jaye wife and in-laws! I don't accept her as my daughter in-law nor do I accept them as your in-laws! You get that?" Showing me a finger, she replied angrily. Now it angered me more, it just frustrated me more that she was talking about them like that. That she wasn't ready to accept her! "And Alayna, go to your room." When mama took Alayna's name, I realised that it was her who had whispered bhai and that she was still in the room. Glancing at her, I tried to blink my tears away. I couldn't be weak. I couldn't be weak in front of them, in front of Alayna. She- she might not take it the right way and start disliking mama, and I didn't want that. 

(Your wife and in-laws can go to hell!) 

"But mama-" 

"I. Said. Go. To. Your. Room." Mama gritted out, glaring at her. A dejected sigh escaped my lips as I stared at her. Why was she taking my anger out on her? 

Frowning, Alayna folded her arms and shook her head stubbornly. "No. I'm not going anywhere." 

"Zara, take Alayna to her room." Turning to face bhabi, mama ordered sternly, coldly, as if stopping herself from lashing out. 

"J- Jee mama." Bhabi quickly replied before scrambling towards Alayna anxiously. 

(O- okay mom.) 

"But bhabi-" Her frown deepened as she tried to interrupt angrily, but when she caught my gaze, she stopped midway. Motioning for her to head in, I closed my eyes with a nod, silently telling her that it's okay. Huffing, she finally headed inside with bhabi. 

"Whether you accept them now or not, the truth won't change. She will remain my wife and they will remain my in-laws, In Sha Allah." Once I was sure that she was out of ear shots, I whispered while looking up at her, my eyes tearing up on their own as I desperately tried to blink them away. 

"Do you have any idea that because of that little stunt of yours, what those ladies might be thinking about me? Or about my family? Or how am I even going to face them after this? No! You have no idea nor do you care about it because I will be the one facing them, not you!" Before I could comprehend it, she was holding my collar while gritting out, her hazel orbs filled with rage. She was hot tempered and I had gotten my anger issues from her, there was no doubt about that. 

"Yes, I don't care mama! I don't care!" Holding her hand, I pushed them away gently while stepping back. Running my hand through my hair in frustration, I added angrily. "At this point, I don't care anymore! Do you think people don't talk behind our backs already? People do! No matter what we do or how we do it, no matter how many times we try to explain something to some people, they will still do whatever they want to do! They will spread rumours and talk behind our backs! It's not our fault that some things happen differently, some things are bound to happen that way because Allah Subhanahu Wa Taàla has written for it to happen like that! I- I don't know how to explain this to you but those who talk in front of us about someone else behind their backs, why do you think they might not talk about us to others behind our backs? Those who are genuinely there for us, wouldn't do this! They won't spread rumors! Please don't think that if this wouldn't have happened then things might have been different! This has already happened and it was bound to happen that way. We can't change the qadr of Allah! We can't change the qadr of Allah!" I repeated the last line, my energy draining by the end. 

The fact that she was still thinking about her reputation and what society would think, ticked me off. Was she not concerned about me? About her son? About what I was going through? Did she not realise that I needed her the most right now? These were the questions, the concerns revolving in my mind at that time. 

"Yes, you are right! Some people are still going to talk, right? But why were you being so generous to have given them a topic to talk about? We can try our best to avoid these things so why didn't you?!" She thundered, still glaring at me. And I wasn't sure anymore if she understood what I was trying to say.  

"Do you think I was in control of the situation we were in? Okay, tell me. What were you expecting me to do there at that moment? Just let them be? Ignore them? Or what?" Folding my arms and looking at her, I nodded, urging her to answer me. 

"You could have denied to have known them! You could have avoided confessing that she is your wife and they are your in-laws! You could have-" 

"Oh wow mama! Really? I- I should have done that? You wanted me to do that? But you didn't teach me that. You didn't teach me to run away from my problems! You didn't teach me to leave when people needed me, especially those who are close to me. And for God's sake mama! Accept her! Accept them! At least try to! I- I have already lost her! And I don't even know if I will ever be able to find her... Is that not enough? Is this punishment not enough for me? I- I... Just…" Sighing, I exclaimed in frustration, my voice going quiet by the end as I felt my throat getting clogged. I just wanted to lay my head on mama's lap and let my emotions run free, just like how I used to do when I was a kid and whenever I felt sad or hurt. Closing my eyes, a tired sigh escaped my lips. "I'm sorry if my words hurted you mama, I didn't mean to. I- I would just like to be alone for a while." 

And with that, I left the hall, rushing to my room to try and find some comfort.  

._._._. 

Empty; that's what I felt as soon as I closed the door of my room. I- I didn't know what to do anymore. I didn't know how my life would go anymore. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING!? Everything seemed blunt. It all screamed silence. Like life was snatched from them too. And I wondered, for a moment, how I used to live my life without her, before she entered my life. What was it that I used to do? What was it that I used to think about? 

Leaning my head on the door, I let loose the restraints on my emotions. I- I couldn't even pinpoint whatever I was feeling at that moment. I felt numb. I felt everything and nothing, all at the same time. And it was so confusing, so- so numbing that I just wanted to collapse on my bed and sleep until she returned back.  I didn't want to face the world. I- I didn't know how to face the world anymore. But I knew I had to. Let alone the world, I firstly had to face my family, my own mother and I already felt drained. How- how was I supposed to get her forgiveness if she was going to behave like this? 

Running my hand through my hair, I pulled at them in frustration. What- what was I supposed to do now? What would happen now? I- I knew that I promised them that I would come back to get her. But- but when? And how? I- I had no idea! No answers for any of these questions! 

Pacing around the room, I tried to calm myself down. But it was of no use. My thoughts seemed to be tumbling down and stumbling towards me, reminding me of their presence, also making me frustrated in the process. Could I not get an ounce of peace here? Why? Just why were these thoughts of mine ready to murder me, murder my sanity? 

I punched the wall in front of me angrily, instantly regretting it when a stinging pain shot through my fist, making me wince. I had forgotten about my wound altogether, and it was with the same hand that I punched the wall which resulted in some blood oozing out of the wound and staining the bandaid. 

Hissing and opening my fist, I shook my hand, momentarily forgetting about the problem at hand. But it wasn't for long before the stinging pain in my hand reminded me of the stinging pain on my cheeks. 

My previous thoughts took a turn from her and them when another set of thoughts made their presence known. How- how could mama even raise her hand on me? Was she that angry? Or was her mind too, like me, wasn't working when I snapped at her? 

Or did she not like Atifa? Why? Was Atifa that bad? Or was my choice that bad? Or was I that bad that I didn't deserve her? Which one was it? Why was mama not ready to accept her as my wife? 

Did whatever that happened, was that wrong? But I had my reasons. There was a reason why I didn't tell her anything earlier. I knew that her reaction would be similar to this, that was the reason why I was afraid to tell her anything. Afterall, we have the same temper. We functioned similarly when we were angry. 

But still, I refuse to accept the fact that she could do this! My mind refused to accept anything as it just screamed one question, why? WHY? Why did she do this? Why did ammi do this? Why was anything and everything even happening right now? But I had no answers, I had no answers for any of the questions roaming around in my mind. 

But maybe... Maybe I deserved it... Maybe it was my punishment? Maybe I was wrong indeed. Maybe I- I should have told her everything beforehand no matter what the results might have been. Maybe their reaction was no excuse for me to hide such a big thing from her. 

'But it wasn't just her reaction, there was another reason too.' My heart tried to intervene but I ignored it. Yes, maybe ammi's odd behaviour was also one of the reasons for not disclosing anything to her, but that didn't matter right now. Not when in the end, she just left... 

Leaning my back on the door and sliding down, I let my tears run down freely, already feeling a throbbing headache knocking my head. 

._._._. 

It had been three days since that incident. Three days since I hadn't seen her and missed her. Mama was still angry with me and had refused to talk to me. But baba was trying his best to make her understand my situation. And I could see some changes in her behaviour, albeit slight, but still there. And I would forever be grateful to baba for that. 

Sighing and running a hand through my hair, I took out a shirt from my cupboard. I had started working again after my short sick leave. That night after whatever happened, I had gotten sick. And although bhai, bhabi, baba and Alayna were there for me, with me, mama had refused to even come and check up on me or visit me. 

It hurted me, it hurted me a lot. But I had no choice but to give her her space. After whatever that happened, and whatever that I had put her through, she deserved at least this much. 

An incoming call brought me out of my thoughts. Sighing, I picked up my mobile. It was Zeeshan's call, which was kind of surprising. 

"Assalamualaikum man, how are you doing?" I asked him happily, trying to mask away the sadness gnawing at my heart. 

"Waalaikumussalam, I'm fine alhamdulillah dulhe ji, but how are you?" He replied, his voice seemed tense, which was, once again, odd. 

(Mr. Groom) 

"Even I'm fine alhamdulillah. Aaj aapko hamari kaise yaad aa gayi janab?" Frowning, I teased him, hoping to know what the matter could be. 

(How did I get the honor of being remembered by you?) 

"Kuch khaas nahi, bas aise hi. Bohot din ho gaye the baat kiye hue to socha call kar lu." He replied quickly, rushing his words. 

(Nothing special. It had been a while since we last talked so I thought of calling you.) 

"Accha. Jee, mere jaane ke baad to aap mujhe bhul hi gaye." Trying to ease him slightly, I teased. 

(Oh I see. Yeah, you have forgotten me since I left Suva.) 

"Mai tumhe bhula hu ya tum mujhe bhule ho? Dekho maine to call bhi kar li, tumne to wo bhi nahi kiya." He replied, finally his tense voice was replaced by a teasing one. 

(Have I forgotten you or have you forgotten me? See, I called you, but you didn't even do that.) 

"Bas ab waqt nahi mila to kya kar sakta hu…" Smiling sheepishly, I muttered while rubbing the back of my neck, feeling embarrassed. He was right though, I hadn't called him since I returned back, and I felt bad about it now. He had helped me so much when I needed someone there, and here I was, forgetting about him when my work was done. 

(I just didn't get any time, what could I do…) 

"Haa haa beta, ab sara inzaam bechare waqt par daal do. Sab usko hi koste rehte hai. Pata nahi bechare ki kya galti hai." I could imagine him shaking his head as he taunted, making me chuckle slightly. 

(Yeah yeah, go on, blame time. Everyone blames time, I don't even know what's it's fault.) 

"Ab kabhi wo itni jaldi guzar jaata hai ke uska pata hi nahi chalta, aur kabhi itne dheere jaata hai ke khatam hone ka naam hi nahi leta. Bas yahi galti hai aapke bechare waqt ki." I responded while biting my lip, trying to suppress my smile. 

(Sometimes it just rushes so quickly that we don't even get to know about it and sometimes it is so slow that it feels like time has stopped. Just this is your time's fault.) 

"Waqt to hamesha ek jaisa hi rehta hai. Bas kabhi hame iska ehsaas hota hai aur kabhi nahi hota." He laughed before replying, and I let my lips tug up in a small smile hearing his reply. It was so true! There are times when we can't wait for some things to get over with and then there are times when we can't wait for some things to happen. 

(Time always remains the same. It's just that sometimes we are conscious about it and sometimes we aren't.) 

"Jee, sahi kaha. Accha ab chodiye in philosophical baato ko aur bataiye sab kaise hai waha par?" Shaking my head to clear up my thoughts, I asked him. 

(Yeah, you are right. Okay now leave this philosophical talk and tell me how is everyone there?) 

"Alhamdulillah sab theek hai, tum batao?" 

(Everyone's fine, you tell me?) 

"Alhamdulillah yaha bhi sab theek hai." 

(Everyone is fine here too.) 

"Accha suno, mujhe tumhe ek zaruri baat batani thi." Suddenly, the seriousness was back in his voice and he sounded tense. 

(Okay listen, I want to tell you something important.) 

"Jee boliye na, mai sun raha hu." Frowning, I replied while sitting straight. What could it be that he had to tell me and which was making him worried? 

(Yeah go on, I'm listening.) 

"Wo-" 

(That-) 

"Bhai, abbu aapko bula rahe hai." Before he could say anything, I heard Emaan's rushed voice from behind him. 

(Dad's calling you.) 

"Accha unse kaho mai abhi aa raha hu." I heard him yell back. 

(Okay tell him I'm coming.) 

"Jaldi aaiye der ho rahi hai." Once again, it was Emaan. 

(Come quickly, it's getting late.) 

"Theek hai." He murmured before turning his attention back to me anxiously. "Accha suno, mai tumhe thodi der baad call karta hu, tum free hoge na?" 

(Okay.) 
(Okay listen, I will call you in a while, you will be free, right?) 

"Jee zaroor, aap apna waqt le sakte hai. Koi jaldbazi nahi hai." I quickly replied, trying to sound as assuring as possible. 

(Okay sure, you can take your time.) 

"Jazak Allahu Khairan. Allah hafiz." 

(Thank you.) 

"Allah hafiz." Hanging up the call, I let my shoulders sag back in tiredness as my thoughts once again drifted off to wander around like they had legs of their own. 

._._._. 

It had been a few days since Zeeshan last called, telling me that he would call me later. And I was waiting for his call, even trying to contact him on my own but to no avail. It was making me worried, restless even, but praying to Allah for his safety, their safety, for everyone's safety who was close to my heart, I tried to calm myself down. 

So, you can guess the relief and surprise which I felt when I saw his incoming call on my number. Sighing in relief and leaving my work, I quickly picked up the call while sitting back on my bed comfortably. 

"Assalamualaikum man. Finally you called me! I was waiting for your call and was having second thoughts about you ever calling me again." 

Not hearing any reply, a frown formed on my face as I brought my mobile in front of my face to recheck the caller ID before keeping the mobile back on my ear, confused as to why he wasn't replying. "Zeeshan? You there?" 

"Wa- Waalaikumussalam. It- it's me, Rayyan." A croaked voice replied, making me jumbled up. What happened? Why did he sound so… so miserable? And where was Zeeshan? 

As soon as I heard his voice, I questioned, getting worried. "Are you alright? Is everything okay?" 

"Y- yeah, I- I'm fine alhamdulillah…" Clearing his throat, he replied, his voice shaky. He didn't sound okay, at all. 

"But it doesn't look like that... Are you sure? I- do you want me to come over there?" Getting tensed and sitting up straighter, I asked him. 

"No. I- I mean, maybe. I don't know. I-" 

"Okay okay, calm down. First of all, take a few deep breaths and then tell me what's wrong, okay? I'm not going anywhere." Licking my lips and taking a few deep breaths myself, I told him, trying to embrace myself for the upcoming news. I didn't know what it was yet, but I knew that whatever it was, it was bad. 

"I- can't..." I could hear a crack in his voice and soon enough, a sob followed. 

Puzzled about what to do now, I was still trying to figure out what to say when his next words made me appalled. Tears obscured my vision before streaming down my face as a broken whisper left my lips. "Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilaihi Rageoon." 

Surely we belong to Allah and to him we shall return. 

Indeed, death is inevitable. And we never know when our time will come so we should always be prepared. Afterall, that is the last destination in our journey of life, that is our final destination. And instead of preparing ourselves for the life of this world, which will no doubt end one day, we should be preparing ourselves for eternal life, which will never end. Instead of doing what society expects us to do and trying to please everyone, we should be pleasing our Lord. 

For indeed, if our Lord is happy with us, the world doesn't matter. And if the world is happy with us but not our Lord, then even the happiness of this world is short lived and they will eventually lose interest in us or expect more from us, and no doubt, we can't always please them. But on the other hand, our Lord will be pleased with us even if we do a small amount of work consistently, dedicated only to him. 

._._._. 

Subhan Allah, isn't that such a beautiful thing? That Allah will be pleased with us because we do a certain work, no matter how small it is, dedicated just to him. And the irony? He doesn't need us but we need him the most. In this world and in the hereafter. Be it his rehma, his barakah or his forgiveness. And yet, we still ignore him and try to please people. When will we learn this? 

• What happened? Why did Zeeshan call him? And who do you think passed away?

Also, I have added something in the end of the chapter aesthetics. Don't forget to check it out. xD

._._._.