Atifa's pov:

I couldn't stop my tears from streaming down my face every once in a while as realisation hit me time and again about what I was supposed to do. About what ammi told me. I didn't understand what was she planning, or why! All of this was just too confusing and mentally draining.

Things were finally getting better, weren't they? Everything was going back to normal, wasn't it? Then why? Why did this suddenly happen? Why this sudden change of mind? Why when we were finally getting comfortable with each other? These thoughts clouded my mind, not leaving me alone.

I couldn't even imagine what he might feel when he would wake up tomorrow to an empty bed, empty room and most importantly, an empty house. The same house which was supposed to spread warmth and comfort would now be empty. The same house which was our home, in which we made thousands of memories, would now be void of any of it.

And I didn't even know the reason behind it! Was this fair? Was this fair in any way? No it wasn't. Nothing was fair. Why? Just why?!

A sob threatened to escape my lips once again as I covered my mouth with my palm. Leaving my stuff as it was, I rushed towards the washroom. Closing the door gently, I slid down, letting my thoughts and tears run wild.

I so desperately wished for this to turn out as just a dream. Was it too much to ask for? Was it too much if I asked for reasons? Was it too much if I tried to understand her? Was it too much if I was just trying to find comfort and peace in my daily life?

I didn't know! And at that point, it felt like I wouldn't even get to know about it anytime soon. Leaning my head back, I brought my knees closer to my chest, hugging myself. I hated this! I just...

A memory suddenly resurfaced, making me close my eyes as a sigh escaped in-between my ragged breaths.

I stood there, in a corner of our living room, watching ammi and abbu with confusion filled gaze. I was searching for Amira in the whole house but to no avail. It was weird. She seemed to have disappeared like she wasn't even here in the first place.

"Daniyal..." Ammi muttered with tears streaming down her face. Abbu was sitting beside her with a worried look on his face.

"Meri jaan..." He uttered painfully, wrapping one of his arms around her shoulder in a comforting manner and rubbing her arms soothingly.

(My life...)

I was compelled to go and comfort her when I saw her crying. I had never seen her cry like this before. Watching them like this, a frown formed on my face too. What was the matter?

"Ab kya hoga? Meri bacchi... Daniyal meri bacchi..." I was just about to take a step ahead when her words trapped me in my place as she sobbed, covering her face. What was she talking about? What happened to me? I was alright, haina? Standing in a corner albeit a bit away from them, but they could still see me, right? Or what happened to Amira? She was alright too, haina?

(What will happen now? My child... Daniyal my child...)

"Kuch nahi hoga meri jaan. In Sha Allah kuch nahi hoga use." Abbu replied in a soothing voice, pulling her a bit closer to him.

(Nothing will happen my life. If God Wills then nothing will happen to her.)

"Lekin Daniyal... Doctors ne to kaha ke..." Ammi started saying something, still sobbing heavily. I was confused out of my mind, not knowing what was actually happening. I wanted to confront them, ask them what was wrong. Ask them what was the matter. But watching them breaking down like this, it scared me. Was I ready to hear the answers?

(But Daniyal... Doctors said that...)

"Ssshhhh." He quietened her, placing his finger on her lips, a different emotion in his eyes. "Tum kuch mat socho uske baare me. Doctors ka to kaam hai kehna. Lekin unke kehne se hume haar to nahi maan leni chahiye na? Kehne ko to kuch bhi ho sakta hai. Bolne ke liye bhi log kuch bhi bol dete hai. Lekin har kahi hui baat sacch to nahi hoti na." He told her in a warm, gentle tone.

(Don't think about anything. It is the doctor's job to say stuff. But just because of their words we can't lose our hope. Anything can happen. And people can say many things. But not every word which is uttered is true.)

"I really hope ke jo aap keh rahe hai wohi sach ho..." She replied when abbu removed his finger from her lips. Still a sob escaped her lips as she squeezed her eyes shut, clutching abbu's shirt in her hand. "Kyu ke I don't want to lose Amira... I can't imagine losing her." Her words seem to have snatched the floor from beneath my feet as I stared at them, shocked.

(I really hope that whatever you are saying is true.) (Because I don't want to lose Amira. I can't imagine losing her.)

What was she talking about? What happened to Amira? She was alright. She was playing with me before I went to school. How could anything happen to her? These questions seemed to be roaming in my mind, blurring my vision.

"Ssshhh meri jaan, ssshhhh... Dua karo, kuch nahi hoga use. Dua me bohot taakat hoti hai. She needs our prayers right now, you can't be weak... You can't be weak." He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her as he said this, a few tear drops escaping from his eyes too.

(Quiet my life, quiet... Pray, nothing will happen to her. Prayers are very powerful. She needs our prayers right now, you can't be weak... You can't be weak.)

Tears seemed to have blurred my vision too as I took a step back, catching abbu's attention as his gaze flickered in my direction. His painful gaze was the last thing I saw before running out of the room and heading upstairs. Closing my door shut, I ran towards my bed before climbing on it and grabbing our favourite teddy bear, clutching it tightly in my arms.

Nothing could happen to Amira. She was a strong girl. She was my baby sister. No one could do anything to her. Ammi and abbu didn't know about it yet that's why they were talking like that. What could happen to my sister? They were just getting worried over nothing. She must be playing hide and seek with me, trying to scare us. Yeah, that must be it. I refuse to believe their words. I refuse to believe that something happened to her.

But, what was the thing about the doctors? What were they talking about? Did they take her to the hospital? Was that the reason why they were talking like that? Was that the reason why I couldn't find her at home? The doctor must be mistaken. He might have told someone else's reports to ammi and abbu. Or maybe, the doctor didn't even know anything. Yeah, that must be it. I should tell them that they were mistaken.

I didn't know for how long I stayed in my room thinking like that, but it seemed pretty long. Time seemed to have dragged unusually. And doubt had started seeping in my mind as I thought about their conversation time and again. But with determination in my mind, I climbed down from the bed, ready to go and confront them. To let them know that they were mistaken.

Just as I reached the door, a knock on it resounded in the room. Opening it, I noticed abbu standing there, a plate of food in his hand with a frown on his face. Frowning, I looked at him in confusion. Why was he here? Not that he couldn't come here, it was just that... for some reason, it looked odd at the moment for him to be standing at the door of my room. 

"Jee abbu?" I called out, bringing him out of his thoughts.

(Yes dad?)

"Atifa." Giving me a warm smile while entering the room, he made his way towards the bed. I followed him, taking a seat beside him. I could sense that he wanted to talk about something serious with me. The air around us, the tension seemed too much. Maybe it would have been visible to any other human being too because of its prominence.

"Jee." I replied, looking at him in curiosity and anticipation.

(Yes.)

"Kya kar rahi thi aap?" He asked me, placing the plate between us.

(What were you doing?)

"Kuch nahi, bas aap logo ke paas hi aane wali thi." I told him, now afraid of their reaction on what I was about to say.

(Nothing, I was just about to come to you guys.)

"Accha. Kuch bolna tha?" He questioned, bringing a spoonful of rice in front of my face, urging me to eat. I looked at the rice in front of me, then back at abbu, contemplating whether to eat or not. But his expectant gaze made me eat the food.

(I see. Did you want to talk about something?)

"Jee. Mira kaha hai?" I thought of starting it safely and so, I asked him the most obvious question, whose answer I still wasn't sure about because they didn't inform me anything yet.

(Yes. Where is Mira?)

The smile on his face faltered a bit before he composed himself again and extended another spoonful of rice towards me. "Aap pehle khana kha lein, mai phir aapko batata hu." He replied gently.

(First finish your food, then I will tell you.)

"Nahi, mujhe abhi jaanna hai. Batae na." I whined, refusing to take another bite of food as my throat started closing up, realising she really could be in the hospital and in pain while I sit here and eat comfortably.

(No, I want to know now. Please tell me.)

"Accha bataunga. Lekin pehle thoda sa khana kha lo." He replied sternly, the spoon still in front of my mouth.

(Okay I will tell you. But first eat something.)

"Abbu..." I whined again but when he didn't budge, I reluctantly had a few spoonfuls of rice. Urging him to have it too in between my bites. And he did, even he took a few bits, making me smile.

(Dad...)

"Accha ab to bataiye. Kaha hai wo?" I asked once again when the food was done, looking at him expectantly.

(Okay now tell me. Where is she?)

"Uski thodi si tabyat kharab ho gai thi to hum use hospital leke gaye the." He replied while looking away.

(She was a bit sick so we took her to the hospital.)

"Accha. To ab kaha hai wo? Mujhe milna hai usse." I dreaded his reply but I wanted to know. I wanted to know that whatever I heard was wrong and that she was alright, sleeping in some room.

(Okay. So where is she now? I want to meet her.)

"Abhi bhi wo hospital me hi hai. Hum uss se thodi der me milne jainge In Sha Allah." He looked at me gently, his eyes moist.

(Even now she is in the hospital. We will go to meet her in a while If God Wills.)

"Lekin abhi wo hospital me kyu hai? Thodi si hi to tabyat kharab hui thi na. Usko aapko wapas leke aa jaana chahiye tha. Use aapne aise akele hospital me kyu chod dia. Chaliye abbu use wapas leke aate hai. Mujhe darr lag raha hai. Wo itni choti hai abbu, use kitna darr lag raha hoga. Please chalte haina, use wapas leke aate hai." I was flabbergasted to say the least. Tears brimmed my eyes as I pleaded with him to bring her back. How could she stay alone in the hospital? She was so small. She must be so scared.

(But why is she still in the hospital? She was only a little sick, right? You should have brought her back home. Why did you leave her alone in the hospital? Let's go and bring her back dad. I'm getting scared. She is so small dad, how scared must she be? Please let's go, let's go and get her back.)

Tears streamed down abbu's face as he heard my words. "Nahi baccha, hum use aise nahi leke aa sakte. Uski tabyat aur kharab ho jaiyegi. Hum jainge na use milne. Tab wo akeli nahi hogi." Wiping away his tears hastily, he replied, trying to pass me a smile.

(No my child, we can't bring her back like this. She will get more sick. We will go to meet her, right? Then she won't be alone.)

Dread filled my heart as I thought about how long she would have to stay like that in the hospital. My thoughts drifted off to what I heard downstairs. What if we really lose her? No. I couldn't lose her. I wouldn't lose her. She would be alright. We will bring her back. I will ask abbu to bring her back now, I thought desperately.

"Abbu please, use leke aate haina. Wo ghar me theek ho jaiyegi. Hum na... Hum na doctor uncle ko ghar bula lenge. Lekin please abbu use leke aaye na. Abbu mujhe use dekhna hai. Abbu mai na... jo aap log kahenge wo sab karungi. Kabhi aap logo ki baat ko nahi taalungi. Hamesha Mira ke saath rahungi. Aur... aur chahe to mai uske saare kaam khud kar dungi. Bas aap use leke aa jaiye. Please abbu. Use leke aaye na." I whimpered, tears streaming down my face too now as I clutched the teddy bear tightly in my arms.

(Dad please, let's go and bring her back. She will get well at home. We will... We will call the doctor's to our home. But please dad, bring her back. Dad, I want to see her. Dad I will... do whatever you guys will say. I will never annoy you guys. I will always stay with Mira. And... and if you want, I will do all of her work. Just please bring her back. Please dad. Bring her back.)

"Mera baccha. My princess." Abbu wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly as he kept whispering something in my ear. But my mind was too numb to comprehend whatever he was saying. I just wanted my sister back. Was it too much to ask for?

(My child. My princess.)

"Abbu, kya hua hai use?" I quietly asked, making him go still, his muscles tense.

(Dad, what happened to her?)

"Kuch nahi hua. Aap itna zyada mat socho, sab-" He denied, making me frown.

(It's nothing. Don't think too much about it, everything-)

"Kya ammi jo keh rahi thi niche wo sach hai? Kya hum Mira ko sach me kho sakte hai?" I interrupted him, as I retreated from the hug, looking at his face. My tears were dried by now as I gazed into his orbs, trying to search for something.

(Was what mom telling downstairs true? Can we really lose Mira?)

He looked away, not meeting my gaze. His silence gave away his answer. He didn't have to tell me to know what was actually happening, what was actually true. I just knew it! 'But they can be mistaken!' A small voice at the back of my mind interrupted my thoughts, trying to give me hope. But the silence was too deafening for me to trust it now.

"Wo sach keh rahi thi." I stated as once again my tear works started. Clutching the teddy bear, I moved back and forth as the reality of what could happen hit me. It was too much to take for my eleven to twelve year old mind.

(She was telling the truth.)

"Atifa, listen to me." Abbu held my arms, stopping me. "Amira ko kuch nahi hoga. She will be alright, In Sha Allah. Aap bas dua karo. Allah pak dua se kuch bhi badal sakte hai. And remember, this is just a test. Allah tests those whom he loves the most. Hamesha yaad rakhna ye baat. Allah pak kuch nahi hone denge use." He kept whispering these things in my ear while hugging me, trying to sooth my pain.

And while crying and trying to sooth my heart, I slept like that, in his arms, praying for Amira.

'This is just a test.' The words echoed in mind over and over again, giving me a sense of peace and hope. Wiping the stray treacherous tear away from my face, I breathed deeply, trying to calm my racing heartbeat. In Sha Allah nothing bad will happen. Whatever that will happen is already written by Allah, I assured myself.

Standing up, I washed my face a couple of times to get the puffiness off of it. Grabbing a towel, I headed out of the washroom, my mind a bit calm. And my heart, hopeful. I would pray. I couldn't lose hope. Amira did come back to us after our prayers, right? So how could I lose him if Allah has already written him for me. And if he is not in my fate, in my destiny, then no one could stop him from leaving me. Or me from leaving him...

Sighing, I discarded the towel at the couch as I went back towards my cupboard. Staring at the things kept in my bag, I couldn't even make out some of them due to the darkness of the room. Shaking my head, I arranged some of my clothes to make place for my other stuff. Sadly, it seemed like I would have to leave some things behind because I didn't have enough space to keep them.

But at this moment, I could care less about it. Keeping some of my books and empty handbags, I zipped up the suitcase as quietly as I could. I looked around the room trying to remember if I forgot to keep something, but my mind was too numb to properly think about it.

My gaze finally landed on him. An angel in disguise. Someone because of whom I was able to make and cherish some of the best moments of my life. Someone because of whom I was finally able to find my old self back, even if it was just for a while. Someone annoying but sweet at the same time. Someone stiff but caring at the same time. Someone... someone who managed to make a place for himself in my heart.

Getting up from the floor and keeping my suitcase aside, I made my way to him. One of the table lamps was still turned on. The soft golden glow casting on him made him look so serene. Gazing at him for a while, I didn't realise when my hand moved ahead to remove a few strands of hair from his face.

I bent down, my lips touching his forehead lightly in a feathery kiss, my eyes closed as I cherished this moment. Moving back, I stared at his face. I don't think I actually ever noticed his features, I thought. His long and thick lashes casted a shadow on his cheeks, his cheekbones weren't that high, but they were perfect, giving his face a soft yet firm look. His nose wasn't sharp, but it looked cute. His lips were small and plump, too pink to be true while his jaw was covered with a stubble.

Wow, I hadn't realised until now but he actually looked kind of cute. Wait a minute, what did Emaan even find in him to say that he was hot? He wasn't hot, he was cute. But oh well, it was good that she didn't know because it meant that she didn't really notice him like I did. This thought brought a small smile on my lips.

Shaking my head, I retreated my hand from his face to hold his hand. "I don't know when we will meet again, or if we will even be able to meet again, but I will always remember you." I quietly whispered into the darkness.

This was all a test and I hoped, I just hoped that we all pass it with flying colours. Leaving his hand, I stood up before heading to the dressing table. I couldn't just leave like this. I wanted to tell him everything but... but that wasn't possible right now. At least I could tell him sorry. Taking out a paper, I wrote 'Sorry' on it before keeping it on the bedside table.

I hope he would be able to forgive me. Forgive us.

._._._.

Noticing the ring on my finger, - the one which he gifted me - I started playing with it. My thoughts drifting off to different places, to different memories. I couldn't believe we just did that.

Even though I told myself to believe in Allah, to be hopeful. I still couldn't believe that we left our home, the one place I was sure we wouldn't ever be leaving behind. This all seemed so overwhelming.

Taking out my ring and closing my fist around it tightly, I leaned my head back with a sigh. Closing my eyes, I tried to remember when was the last time I felt this hopeless and useless. The memories made in the past few days clouded my mind so much that even though it hadn't been more than a week or maybe ten days, I still couldn't exactly pinpoint when it was that I felt this useless.

Amira shifted her head in my lap, snapping me out of my thoughts. Looking down at her, I ran my hand through her hair. She didn't even know what was happening right now. What would be her reaction to all this? Wouldn't it be too much to take for a seven year old mind?

I hoped for things to get better, if not for me then at least for her. Turning my face towards the window, I stared out of it at the passing trees and houses. It was around four at night and everyone must be sleeping except for those few like us who might have to travel or those who couldn't sleep or those who might have plans for tonight, I thought.

"Where are we going?" I quietly asked ammi, not really expecting an answer for I wasn't sure if she even heard me.

"Savusavu." Her one word answer was enough to knock the air out of my lungs. Savusavu? It was so far away from here. We would have to take a flight. And how would he even be able to find us? God, this was too much!

._._._.

▪ Why do you think her mom is doing this?

._._._.