**Geto POV**

There was only one place I could think where to start my search for Y/n, and that was Baba's house.

As I stood in front of it, I couldn't bring myself to go inside. My eyes were locked onto the porch where Y/n and I sat together under the moonlight.

The spot where we decided we would run away together. Where we talked about having a family and settling down in a house away from the city. I really thought we were going to make it.

I quickly wiped the tears that were creeping up and forced myself to the front door. I could still have that life with her. I just needed to get my shit together and figure out where the hell she went.

As I grabbed the handle, a voice called out from behind me, "Can I help you?"

Just my luck.

I slowly turned around, seeing a pregnant woman probably my age walking towards me.

"Yea, uh, I knew the woman that lived here. I was hoping to look around for a minute."

She crossed her arms as she glared at me. I don't know why she thought she was intimidating. She was about to pop.

"Geto, right?" she huffed out.

"Do I know you?" I furrowed my brows at her. I was definitely confused now. I have no idea who this woman is.

She walked towards me, grabbing her keys, "What the hell took you so long? I thought I'd only have to wait like a week or something."

"Who are you exactly?" was all I could manage to say to that. I already knew I shouldn't have waited this long to start looking for her. Part of me was just so afraid to confront all of this head on.

"Mya. Y/n's childhood friend and Baba's caretaker once she left."

"Ok..." I mumbled, still not really understanding. "And how do you know me?"

She rolled her eyes as she opened the door and walked in, waving for me to follow. I had nothing else to do, so I trekked in after her.

"I'm supposed to give you this," she waved a small little book in the air that was resting on the table.

"What? Why?" I examined it as soon as she passed it over to me.

"Well, if you met Baba, then you should already know no one says no to that woman."

I flipped through the pages, stopping occasionally to read the small notes written in the margins. It took me a minute, but I finally remembered.

This was the book Y/n bought when we went shopping. The same time she bought me my bracelet— the one I haven't taken off since.

It wasn't anything special though. Just an ordinary novel. So why was it left for me?

And who annotates books they read for fun... I couldn't help but smile to myself. Y/n's quirks were so adorable.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I finally looked up at her.

She sighed as she took a seat on the couch, slowly and awkwardly lowering herself down as she held onto her stomach.

"According to Baba, you're the only person Y/n's loved. So Baba's dying wish is to hook you two up."

She laughed, "I guess you could say she's a fan."

My head was spinning and I had to quickly take a seat too, sitting on the opposite side of the couch from Mya.

"Y/n's plans are in there," she nodded over to the book. "You might have to study a little bit, but I guess they're all there."

"So you know about Y/n's plans?"

"Mm. The basics."

"Are you a protector too then?"

"Me?" she laughed. "Do I look like a protector?"

I smirked, "Well I'm assuming you haven't always been pregnant."

"This is the third fucking kid I'm popping out in the last 4 years. I can barely remember what it feels like to not be pregnant."

I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Still, if she knew some of what was going on, then how could she possible like me?

It was unlike anything I've ever experienced. When sorcerers fuck up, there are no second chances.

And yet, Y/n and everyone she seemed to know were eager to hand out as many chances as I needed. It was like pressing a reset button.

Part of me couldn't believe anyone would actually be this kind-hearted.

"I just don't get it," I mumbled out. "With everything that happened, how did Baba still have any faith in me? Y/n sure doesn't..."

She sighed, "Look, Y/n's brilliant. If she didn't want to be found, she definitely wouldn't have put a damn thing in writing. Not only that, she left this behind."

"And don't get me wrong, Baba loved her husband, but I don't know that she was ever really in love with him... I think she wanted that for Y/n, almost more than anything."

I took a deep breath as I fiddled with the black threaded bracelet. I definitely was head over heels in love with that woman.

"So you really have no idea where she is?" I asked as I looked back up at her.

"Nope, but I'm sure you'll figure it out. If that's what you want. You could always leave her to move on too. I think Baba just wanted to give you the chance to choose Y/n."

The chance to choose her... The only thing Y/n needed from me but I consistently didn't do. It made me feel like a piece of shit.

"Mind helping me up?" she gave me a goofy grin.

"Of course," I smiled back as I walked over to help her stand. "Thank you for your help."

"Eh don't mention it," she waved as she began towards the door. "You can stay here for the night, just lock it before you leave."

Once she left I went back to Y/n's room, my heart fluttering as I thought about the night I held her in my arms. This bed definitely wasn't big enough for the both of us, but neither of us cared in the slightest.

I sat down and sighed, staring at the small book. I guess I better get to work on deciphering whatever Y/n left behind.

••••

**Y/n POV**

"Why do you always look so stressed?" he asked as he leaned over towards me, pushing some hair out of my face.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes before sitting up next to him, "You know why."

He sighed, "I do."

"I just don't get it Nanami. I really thought he'd come."

2 months. I've been waiting 2 fucking months. Not that I was just sitting here waiting, this would be my life now whether or not Suguru showed up.

But still, I thought he'd be here. I couldn't just outright tell him where I was, but there was more than enough information for him to figure it out.

If he wanted to be here, he could be. And the fact that he wasn't almost broke me to pieces.

Nanami, on the other hand, was smarter than all of
them. He found me before I ever even left Japan. Somehow, he put together my plan as soon as I threatened them and killed Naoya...

He's been paying such close attention to me this whole time, and he had me figured out. He saw me for who I really am.

And honestly, anyone that truly knew me, they would've been able to see right through my act that day. I was just surprised he was one of them.

Me? Start a war? It was laughable...

We were only friends, and he never tried to push anything with me. Not that I thought he had a romantic interest anyway.

Still, being here with him, part of me wished I would've met him first. It didn't matter now though, all of me belonged to Suguru, whether or not that asshole ever shows up.

"He doesn't deserve you," Nanami spoke up. It had been his catch phrase since we got here.

He was scared to leave my side. Nervous that someone would find me or that I would finally break underneath the pressure of it all.

He didn't honestly believe someone could go through all of this and be ok... which I guess I wasn't ok necessarily. But I was determined to keep living.

"Love is a gift, not something we earn."

He shook his head, "I think you're settling for less because you don't know any better."

I couldn't help but to laugh at his bluntness, "Oh is that right?"

"Mm, maybe it's true that we don't earn being loved, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try to be worthy of it. And Geto doesn't try."

"Didn't know you were so poetic," I smirked.

"I don't like seeing people I care about mistreated."

I sighed, "You're a good man Nanami."

"That's what you keep saying."

His dryness always left me shocked, so I let out another laugh, "Ok Nanami, I'll play along. So what should I do if he does show up?"

"I still can't believe you left him a way to find you. What if he tells Gojo?" he looked at me. "Did you think about that?"

"He won't."

"I don't know whether to be in awe of your optimism, or frustrated with your naivety."

"Hmm, I think you should definitely be in awe of me," I teased.

He smiled softly as he looked down, "Always so humble."

"And always so hungry. Come on, let's go to dinner," I stood and held out my hand to help him up.

He accepted it but didn't really use my help at all, dusting off the sand as he stood. I really was so lucky to have him here, and I couldn't believe how quickly we had become such good friends.

He was probably the closest one in my life at this point.

I knew he'd have to go back to Japan soon, but I was dreading that day. I didn't want to be alone again, and part of me really didn't want to be around anyone else.

•••••

ahhhhh ok. i was gonna end on a happy note, but now my depressed ass is considering an alternate ending. omgggg we tryna cry or nah?

anyway, thanks for reading!

can't find the artist anywhere:( but i'm obsessedddd with this drawing omgomgomgkmg