Paxton's POV

I can't lose her. My whole life revolves around her. 

Please Jordan, don't give up on me. 

Last January it was early in our relationship. We were a month or two in. This girl DMed me on instagram coming onto me and I went with it. I wasn't loyal to Jordan. She didn't deserve that. 

The girl lived in Utah, close to my mom. I went to school with her. 

I told Jordan I was going to see my mom. 

Instead I fucked another girl. 

Man, I fuck everything up. 

I was so lost in my life. Jordan hadn't put out yet and I just needed it so badly and I wasn't going to push Jordan for it. 

So I made the wrong choice. Instead of waiting for Jordan like I told her I would, I had sex with someone else. 

What is wrong with me? I ask myself while I speed up my truck. 

I fuck everything up. Everything. 

I'm so fucking stupid. 

I wish I would've died that day, I really, truly do. 

I get my truck up to 90.

A car pulls out in front of me. 

Fuck. 

I hit my breaks as hard as I can without tipping over. 

This is it. This is how I'm gonna go. 

The car speeds up and gets out of my way quickly. 

My bronco spins out and heads towards the ditch. 

My bumper hits the ditch hard making me lunge forward, my head hitting the steering wheel. 

Ow. 

What the actual fuck is peoples problem? He saw me coming. We could've died. 

I get out of my truck to see if it fucked my bumper up. Luckily it just put a small dent in it. 

The dude turns around and pulls up beside me. He gets out of his car. That's not smart. 

"Dude I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention." 

I can feel blood trembling down my face. I'm so pissed. I wanna smash this dudes brains out of his ears. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you, huh?" I yell while walking towards him.

"I didn't see you I swear." I can see the fear in his eyes. 

He looks like he's gonna piss his pants. He steps backwards as I step towards him. His back finally hits his car. 

"I could've died you stupid fuck." I spit out. 

"It was an accident calm down bro." He says. 

"Calm down?" I yell in his face. "I have a girl I have to make it back home to and you almost made it where I would never see her again." I yell at him.

"I'm fucking sorry. Back up." He grows some balls.

I stay in place, not listening to him. 

"Fuck you." I growl. 

"You don't know who you're messing with." He growls back. 

"Oh and you do?" 

"Yeah I'm messing with a fucking pussy." He says. 

He just had to. 

I draw my fist back and hit him in the jaw.

"Oh yeah? That wasn't very pussy of me was it?" I ask. 

The dude keeps his stone cold face on. He hits my in the stomach. 

I'm not gonna lie that kind of hurt. 

I hit him in his face again, and again, and again. 

He ends up on the ground holding his face in pain. There's blood everywhere. 

I took it too far. 

"I'm calling the cops." He says going to his car. 

Fuck. 

I get in my bronco and get the fuck out of there. I need to go back home. 

I need Jordan. I try calling her but it goes straight to voicemail. I realize now how bad my head actually hurts. I reach up to touch the wounded spot and it covers my fingers in blood. 

Fuck. 

Where am I supposed to go? I guess I could go to the shop. There's probably some people there, there always is. 

I make my way to the shop and hear laughter from inside.

I walk in and go into the smoke circle and everyone just stares at me. 

"The fuck happened to you?" The leader asks. 

"Some stupid fuck who can't drive." I say. 

The weed will take the pain away. 

I take a long hit off of the joint and go to the fridge to get a beer. I chug it and reach for another one, and another one.

I'm fucking wasted. I want Jordan. 

I feel my phone buzzing from my back pocket. I dig it out and answer it without looking. 

"Why'd you call?" A stern Jordan answers. 

"Baby." I slur out. 

Man I really miss her. 

"Are you drunk Paxton?" She asks. 

Shit she's even more mad now. 

"Uhm, no?" I say. 

"Paxton just come home before you do something stupid." 

I get happy at those words, it basically sobers me up on spot. 

She hangs up the phone and I practically run out to my truck. 

I've missed her so much. I hate it when we fight. I just want to be in her arms, her telling me that everything is going to be okay. 

I rush home to Jordan and storm through the door. She's not anywhere in the kitchen or living room. 

"Baby?" I call out.

"In here." She sighs. 

I walk quickly to our bedroom. I see a stressed Jordan sitting on the bed with a book in front of her, closed. 

She looks at me and her face immediately changes to worry. 

She jumps up and scans over my wound. 

"What happened?" She looks into my eyes. 

"I got a boo boo." I say looking back at her. 

She huffs and grabs my hand leading me into our bathroom. She gets out the first aid kit and makes me lean up against the vanity. 

"I'm sorr-"  

"Don't talk." She cuts me off. 

She doctors my wound and puts a bandage on it. 

"What happened?" 

"A car pulled out in front of me." I say.

"And this bruise?" She says putting her finger on my jaw. 

"I might've fought him."

"Take off your shirt." She sighs. 

"Why?" I ask.

She wants sexy time? Now?

"To see if there's more injuries."

Oh. 

I oblige and take off my shirt. Her face is covered in empathy. I look down to see a huge ass bruise on my stomach. 

"It doesn't even hurt, really its not that bad." I tell her. 

"Why do you do this shit?" 

"He almost killed me. I could've died." 

She sighs and walks out of the bathroom. She's in one of my t-shirts. It's too big on her. I can tell she's only wearing underwear underneath because the bottom of her ass is exposed. She's so damn hot. 

"We can talk tomorrow. I'm tired." She says and wraps herself in the blanket. 

"Okay." I say sadly. "I'm gonna take a shower. I love you." 

"Love you." She says quietly. 

I messed up. 

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