"Wow,it works different. " Never judge the performance of a roadside cheap gadget and pricey branded rug.

       They both are pale for you until you use them and experience the difference.  Confused ? what on earth I am talking ,well.

      It's just the headset , the old fashioned wired headphones..is it or not air pods so yea headphones, I am talking  about them. 

      Even, few days prior I was wrapping my days with the cheap one , it was white , and to some extend I thought why  would I ever need a branded one.

          Crappy me. Now after plugging in this new one my personal impression on my choices are sky rocketing, ofcourse in a inagreeable manner.

Like being mocked for placing them on the same level . The musical waves what we call frequency as well as integrity of the sound not so harsh or loud that one would jump from wherever one belong , like startled by a .... duh.. I am tired to explan. Like I can feel every breath.

Simply, previous one was Bad for ears and this one is low-key~I mean yes, Perfect.

Little note to me : nothing named perfect exists .

And I shall just give light smile to me for this reminder.

Starting something which was forbidden to set my mind on solace definitely tough to tag with any kind of adjective.

Atleast it's millions times better than appearing as a dehydrated , malnutrioned , depressed , psychotic look.

If no less considering my nearly determined Title I ought to be presentable as a human being , myself.

This is like slapping my own back and telling to stand straight.

Now it spreads smile on my lips , but I do know the path to reach here.

Running away from this victorian home named imprison and being caught by American cops only to be admitted to the cell as a psycho was left alone.

I want to laugh loud letting the entire house, each tiles and bricks to shiver in awakening. However. Silent laugh is peaceful.

Anybody is unable to figure out your mind , consequently being unknown your heart is also kept at ease and left to be ownself.

It will unaffectedly remain on its own track.

A semblance will keep up which causes prevention of any external stimulation , suffer of putting on thesis after  thesis to not be driven away and keep ownself unhurt.

If one comes or leaves at their whim definitely would not be a factor for my heart to put my brain on edge . And I like my internal .

Yeah,  yaaaa... shut it woman. Well I don't prefer talk about it , anywhere regardless. My writing , or even in my mind to think. Just like I did . It voluntary starts talking and whispering leading me to never have a sleep with blank mind.

Hilarious difference is , I never had dreams about people,  but later on I stopped having dream cause it was hard to say when I slept.

Since now I sleep I see people who are from relaity , explains I have them in my subconscious brain. Rather I valid the talks but they keep going and invade my dream.

Surely , I leave no chance to mock me.

Yeah
Even while writing I am laughing. I don't feel heavy.
It's way better than okay.
And I love it.

I can eat , lead a healthy life, getting opportunities to learn medical sciences and cure illness.

That's all. After graduating I hope to be adopted by the hospital. That was a part of joke. I mean if they take me in as an physician will be blessing.

Or I can visit some nearby Organization.  No big deal. But it will be like starting again, after all it's life. Being rooted and uprooted.

I can do it!

I am in immediate need of a permanent Signature of mine. Not to autograph but for prescription pads.

⚕️

"Tap" placing the notepad in my bedside table drawer I stretched my sore limbs. These are stoic.

Blinking at my wall clock I unwillingly yet carefully get down from bed. Looking for any wrinkle on bedsheets I brushed my hand over it pretending to fix nothing.

Slowly pattering  the slipper on carpet I entered the closet . A blue cardigan and white trouser and not to forget the white apron, without it they will chase me away from college gate.

Giving the last comb to my unbearable hair I tie the rubber and get down the hall not before beaming the brightest smile of the day.

Important cause it's the  last dose before the paper and that's my medicine for all and one. Once I am out I cannot take more doses.

⚕️

"Jeon Kaewon" beeped. 

You may enter the machine signaled.

Looking around I noticed there are many emergency cases today. I had to avoid to get it in my exam hall .

I sighed , knowing it's going to be a hard day for officials. Because no ameature will be of help, since they have papers to do.
Specially batch 023 .

"Start Writing" The invigilator instructed .

I glanced at it.

Surveyed it.

Delivered the logical answers again.

Ticked the pen down.

Looked up!

Stop writing. Time's up!

First , effect was announced then cause came following it's way.

Suddenly the dead silence of last few weeks brusts into vibrating chaos. I feel my stomach making turns .

⚕️

Steady long footsteps made me come infront of the dessert shop. Shop would be understatement. A vast cafe , I might have missed the sign board to go throughly thoroughly.

Breakfast restaurant.  Yep!

Tables are mostly occupied by people,  especially couplings.  Tugging my eyes low , I make my way more in.

This feeling again crawling inside of me. As if I am uninvited and really not accepted. Hilarious. The owner got a business to run so ofcourse I am not to run my brain gears in that manner. 

Again, only if I could control their turnings and churning.  Yes, medical science failed to provide such remedy and we all  know forcing natural course to modify leads to nothingness and destruction.

" goOD AFTERNOON " I stared wide eyed. He definitely did not scream . Just it appeared louder with each syllable.

My mass of brain lowered light , I nodded.
"What would you like to have?"

He meant afternoon . I am at wrong place then.  Frustrated as I am ; found a way to not face his questioning eyes like, are you dumb , weirdo?

Yes I am. Let's invent an expression later.

But I did help by smirking , " What do you have best here?

Am I giving that yin-yan eye! Maybe. Or Definitely.

"Grab your table I am coming right up" leaving me  agape  the fair boy goes to the central  portion of the counter further away from me.

As he suggested , I took a nearby table luckily none occupied it. Actually it was facing the counter.  Specially designed for a person who is alone.

Slumping on the table forgetting it is not my classroom bench or study table to pull in such a pose .

Anybody would think I am preparing to nod off.  When my forehead touches the thick glass of the table the odour of my armpit hits me.

Grossed out I would have been. I am not because it is one of the thing that defines me. I am used to.  The hall tension,  hunger and sociopathic nature of mine are the causes.

"Thud" plate clattering noise takes my attention to reflex with a straight spine sitting posture.

I think it will be bend soon. He artfully places them. Yeah, lot enough. Automatically my hands are placed on my trouser pocket.

"These are best of All time since the time of foundation." 

Nervously I pick the wallet out.
" You, don't look that ol' " with a unsettled toothy grin smoothly that line comes out.

Even for a moment my breathing haults.

I have proven myself  to be a creepy weirdo as well now.

In this while my search party in my wallet never remember to stop.

"Those bucks are more than enough, ahem"
This cough is of when one tries to hold back a cackle. In a nutshell hides something.

I am going to drill a possible hole through the bill number now. Enough. My brain roared .

Slapping the wallet on the stipulated central square area on the table  my eyes look up.

His cheek bones are still up , not entirely hiding them.

"OH sure, if given a special discount only." I can feel the crease in-between my brows. Ease it.

"Would mind if I give you company?"

Does it matter.  If your boss allows you, do juggling even. I shrugged  in mind.

"Never." I gesture with my palms.

Making least screeching he prevents the obnoxious sound. While he bends to sit I notice his apron rather the common employee stigma has already been gone from him.

He flips the empty plates , decoratively puts each dishes on both platters.

I guess

He is not expecting any other guest. I prayed  .

I do that too. Because slagging , feeling low all the year;  passing the years never have been easy without mercy of those Prayers.

Licking the pastry fork he pushed one of the plates . Looks like a flower with different petals.

In the centre a special round disc of different breads. Gazing is the best treatment they deserve instead of being davoured.

They are made for it and be mortalised.