"So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Oh, did you ever know
That I had mine on you?"
—Eyes on Me by Faye Wong

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My world seemed to freeze. Even every muscle in my body was coiling tight as my stomach turned inside out.

What? Did I hear her right?

Then her last words echoed in my head over and over again.

Falling for him...Falling for him...Falling for him.

I'd definitely heard her right. Okay, I got to act it cool, like it didn't concern me.

I put on my best poker face, gently removed her arms around my waist, faced her, looked into her eyes directly, and grinned. "Whoa, Les! That's great! I heard from most of the girls in school that Groban's such a nice guy. I think he likes you, too. I mean, when you were tutoring him at Pizzalicious, he thought it was also a date, right? So if you're going to confess your feelings to him, you won't have to worry getting rejected," I said too quickly like I was doing a tongue twister.

I'm not sure, but I thought I saw shock and hurt on Leslie's face before she glanced away. "Ah. I see."

I put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at me, but I couldn't quite guess her expression; it seemed guarded. "Go for it, Les," I said with a smile so wide, which was so unlike me. Please don't notice.

She was about to say something, but I beat her to it. I didn't want another knife so sharp to be stabbed in my chest. "Well, it's getting dark now. And I forgot we have a long quiz in chem tomorrow. We should go home now, Les."

"Okay," Leslie said, somewhat unconvinced. "Do you need any help, Jess?"

"It's all right. Conrad already taught me the basics," I said hastily before jumping down from the tree house and called for P.T., who was having his own adventure in the forest.

╪ ╪ ╪

After dinner, I immediately went to my room and locked the door. Sitting on my bed with a heavy sigh, I remembered Leslie's dreadful sentence.

It's about...Nigel. Jess, I...I think I'm...falling for him.

I reached for my sketchbook (the one filled with my drawings of Leslie) under the pillow and flipped the pages. I stopped at my charcoal drawing of Leslie that I'd drawn a year ago. My hand was hovering over the paper, wanting to rip it to shreds. Instead, I threw the sketchbook furiously at the far side of my room, where a collage of our pictures together was pinned on the wall.

Was I angry at Leslie? Angry that she'd chosen Nigel Groban over me? But then again, we were just best friends. And as her best friend, I had to encourage her with her decisions. It wasn't even her fault that she was falling for him.

But you had your chance, you know, a voice in my head said. You could've confessed your feelings to Leslie a while ago.

But I couldn't do it. Not when she just confessed about Groban. And I shouldn't be angry at Leslie. Or at Groban, for that matter. They hadn't done anything wrong. If anything, I should be angry at myself for my lack of confidence.

Sighing, I got the sketchbook on the floor and put it onto my study table. No wonder she'd invited Groban in our investigation this coming Saturday. The heck with the chemistry quiz tomorrow. As if I could concentrate studying now with my reeling emotions.

I lay down in my bed, closed my eyes in frustration and jealousy, covered my face with a pillow, and screamed. Without warning, I started to cry, then sobbed.

Hard.

Wasn't this a rare sight? Jesse Aarons was sobbing because of his first heartbreak. Now I understood those crappy romance novels my older sisters loved to read. I also remembered a quote I'd heard before somewhere that when a guy cried over a girl, he'd never love another girl like her.

Leslie meant a lot to me. I had very strong feelings for her. I truly loved her. I really cared about her.

But I was a loser. A coward.

I hoped my family couldn't hear my sobbing downstairs.

Screw this romantic feeling for my best friend!

After many minutes, my sobbing subsided, and then I unconsciously fell asleep.

╪ ╪ ╪

I stared numbly at my chemistry quiz paper result. Actually, every part of my body felt numb. Yeah, even my heart. But it was a miracle I'd still gotten to answer the long quiz.

Conrad took a look at my paper. "Hey, you got a B minus. I wager you didn't study."

"Thanks for stating the obvious, Sherlock Holmes," I deadpanned without looking at him. Knowing Conrad, I was sure he got another A plus, even if he didn't study. Like Leslie.

Gah! There goes that name again!

He gazed at me funny. "Mate, where's your bloody sunshine? 'Cause I don't see it anywhere around you." Suddenly, he sang a song that I don't know.

"I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine
I've got a love and I know that it's all mine
Owwwoooowww!"

I just gave him an expressionless look.

Conrad couldn't help rolling his gray eyes. "Why are you acting like that? Is it because of your girlfriend and David Beckham Wannabe?"

Before I could snap that that wasn't it, Mr. Santiago announced, "Congratulations to Conrad Timothy Miller for getting the highest score for today's quiz. Again." He sighed. "Seriously, whoever can pass his score in the next quiz will be exempted in the next exam."

"Oh, c'mon, Mr. Santiago," Conrad said with a grin. "Don't encourage them, please?"

"Ha-ha." Then Mr. Santiago gave instructions for our assignment about gas laws.

"Piece of cake," I heard Conrad mutter.

Could I have his brain, please?

╪ ╪ ╪

I dashed to the most secluded area of the mini forest in school when it was already lunch time. Why? Because I wanted to be alone—to avoid every human being on earth, especially a girl with the name Leslie Sophia Burke. I needed to distance myself from her for a while to mend my broken heart. If I was near her, I'd remember what she'd said again. We hadn't even talked much at the bus earlier because I'd been pretending to study for my chemistry quiz.

After eating crackers and drinking orange juice, I memorized my lines to no avail.

Focus, Aarons! Don't let your confusing emotions affect your concentration!

Taking deep breaths, I tried to memorize my lines again, but with little success. My thoughts kept drifting back to the scene where I'd seen Leslie and Groban coming out from their geometry class together earlier.

Together.

They did that most of the time, but I'd done my best not to mind it until Leslie's confession.

Gah! That freaking line again!

I felt a stab of annoyance with myself for bringing that up, but my thoughts continued ruthlessly.

I slapped the script book in my face.

This is so hard.

╪ ╪ ╪

"Scenes one and two were great!" Ms. Thompson exclaimed and clapped her hands. "Actors and actresses for scene three, get ready! Okay. Lights, camera, action!"

I went to the props team to help them paint some of the remaining uncolored props, since I had nothing else to do, and I didn't want to watch scene three right now. I could hear Leslie's and Sarah's lines in the background and noticed Ms. Thompson nodding at them, clearly impressed.

When I'd entered the room after lunch, Leslie had come to me and asked where I'd been. I'd said I was memorizing my lines in the mini forest. Trying to memorize my lines was the truth, but I hadn't told her that. It wasn't like I'd been lying, right?

Then there was applause. Scene three was done. I could see at the corner of my eye that Leslie was whispering something to Ms. Thompson.

"Great job, everyone!" Ms. Thompson said after a few minutes. "Costume team, are all of the costumes already finished?"

"Not yet, Ms. Thompson," Diana Huff answered. "We're still working on the king's and the witch's costumes, but they'll be finished by tomorrow."

"Don't forget to bring them this Friday."

"Certainly, Ms. Thompson."

"How about the props team?"

"Almost done, Ms. Thompson," Jonas Cruz said.

"Music team?"

"Already taken care of, Ms. Thompson," Emmanuel O'Brien answered.

Ms. Thompson clasped her hands together and squealed. "Excellent, dears! By tomorrow, everything will already be perfect, I hope. We'll beat the two sophomore sections this Friday!"

They cheered.

"That's all for this afternoon, class," the teacher said. "You may go now."

"What about scene four, Ms. Thompson?" Alice asked.

"Oh. That." Ms. Thompson gave Leslie and me a grin so bright, I almost closed my eyes. "We don't have to worry about that. Isn't that right, Jesse and Leslie?"

"Of course, Ms. Thompson!" Leslie said jovially.

"Um, yeah," I lamely said and saw Sarah glaring at Leslie.

We were dismissed, and I quickly got out from the room before Leslie would come to me.

I passed by the library door, and then stopped. Should I go in and skip world history? I still couldn't concentrate; I was sure I'd just fall asleep in that class. And Leslie and I were seatmates in that class. But then again, we were always seatmates if we had classes together. And that had caused a rumor years ago that we were a couple, which we'd declined, saying we were just best friends.

It'd even taken all of my willpower to attend literature just for the play practice.

Decided, I opened the door and retreated to the very back of the library.

"Oy, Jesse," someone whispered.

I glanced to my left and saw Conrad sitting at the last table, his chemistry book in hand. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"The reason what a library is for," I said, taking a seat across from him.

He rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. You have world history now, right? Don't tell me you're cutting class. Or are you just hiding from your fangirls?"

"This is the first time I skipped a class. I'm here to answer the homework, too. And besides," I said as I got my chem book from my bag, "you're also doing the same thing as me."

"Er, not quite. Our geometry teacher's absent, and I don't want to go home yet, so that's why I'm here answering the chemistry homework."

I opened the assigned page and read the problems, but the letters were floating in my head like I had dyslexia. How problematic. I banged my head onto the table. Strangely, it didn't hurt.

"Mate, you all right?"

I waved a dismissing hand, my head still on the table. "Yeah. Just tired, I guess."

I could feel him smirking at me. "Really? Or you just find the homework not too chicken? No worries. I can tutor you, if you like."

I glanced up at him, smirking back. "That must be the smartest thing you've said all day."

So for the next few minutes, Conrad taught me the easiest way to learn about the different gas laws, and I understood him immediately, just like whenever Leslie taught me on my geometry or on the other subjects.

After I'd answered the problems, we exchanged answers. I got seventeen correct answers out of twenty items.

Conrad grinned. "Not bad, mate."

We did a high-five.

"Jess, there you are!"

I almost choked on my own saliva when I immediately turned to the source of the voice and saw Leslie panting slightly.

"Why did you skip world history?" she demanded, fast-walking toward our table. "And I believe that's the first time you skipped a class. I was worried!"

I felt guilty after she'd said that. No. Don't feel guilty, Aarons.

"Hullo, Leslie," Conrad greeted with a smile.

"Hey, Conrad," Leslie greeted back, finally noticing him, and saw what was on our table. "Oh. You're answering your homework." There was hurt in her eyes for a second.

Conrad must have also noticed it. He knew Leslie and I answered our homework together after school. "Leslie, we met here by coincidence. I saw Jesse walking through the aisles, so I called him, and he said he was also here to answer the chemistry homework. I gave him tips, and then after he finished answering the problems, we exchanged answers," he explained. "Oh, if you're wondering why I'm here in the first place, that's because my geometry teacher isn't around."

"What he said," I said, shrugging.

"Ah." Leslie sighed. "But you could've told me, Jess."

My throat ached, and a flood of confusing emotions made my stomach feel tight.

What kind of best friend am I?

"I-I'm sorry, Les. But if I told you, I'm sure you'd do two things: one, you'd stop me from skipping class and insist I should do it at home," I said, emphasizing the last word so that she'd get the true meaning: our castle at Terabithia. "And two, you'd skip class with me. I couldn't let you do that."

"You were avoiding me, weren't you?"

My eyes widened for a second, and I couldn't help but feel a bit of anger inside me. Straight to the point, as usual. Now, Aarons, you have to lie to her again and keep your face straight.

I looked at her, impassive. "Avoid you? Why would I do that, Les?"

"Jess," Leslie's eyes were pleading, "is this about what I told you yesterday?"

What the heck, Leslie. Of course it's about that! That you're falling for that Nigel Groban! "What on earth are you talking about, Les? Of course not. It's just bad timing that our chemistry teacher's giving us a hard time. And chem is harder than world history, so I had to make a sacrifice." I turned to Conrad, who was pretending to play on his Sony Xperia. "Isn't that right, Rad?"

He looked up, startled. "W-what? Um, right."

Leslie and I stared at each other for a moment, then she glanced away. "So, you're not going home with me."

It wasn't even a question. "Yeah. Conrad will still tutor me on chem, so you go home ahead."

He gave me a look that clearly meant: I don't know where this is going, but you have to bloody tell me what's the real deal later.

Leslie was unconvinced, but sighed in defeat. "Fine, Jess. Bye, Rad. I have to go now. The bus will leave in five minutes."

Then I suddenly remembered something. "Wait, Les," I said, and she fixed me with a tight smile that I wasn't at all sure what to make of. I swallowed hard before continuing. "Can Conrad come with us this Saturday?"

"What's happening this Saturday?" he asked, bewildered. "If you two lovebirds are going out on a date—"

"No!" Leslie and I hissed at the same time, blushing furiously from embarrassment. We couldn't yell because we were in a library.

"We're gonna investigate the mansion in the forest this Saturday," Leslie informed him. "Maybe you wanna join us."

Conrad yawned. "Well, I don't believe the rumors. I even find the mansion boring, really," he said. "And I have violin lessons every Saturday, so I'll have to decline your offer. But I thank you two for your invitation."

Leslie blinked, looking a little disappointed. "Oh, okay."

"Groban and Sarah are going," I stated, trying not to sound bitter mentioning the David Beckham wannabe.

He raised an eyebrow. "David Beckham Wannabe's going? Seriously?"

"Yep."

"By Jove! The world must be ending." Then Conrad suddenly chuckled while covering a hand over his mouth, and there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Fascinating. Please forget what I said earlier; I'll go with you lot."

Leslie's eyes brightened with excitement. "Really? That's great, Rad." She frowned a bit. "But what about your violin lesson?"

"Don't worry 'bout it. I'm already a virtuoso anyway. So, it's the five of us, then?"

"Yep. We'll meet at the front of the mansion after lunch," I told him.

"Brilliant!" Conrad exclaimed, and then turned to Leslie. "No wonder your second name's 'Sophia.' I'll wager you also like philosophy."

Leslie tilted her head to the side, wondering what Conrad was getting at. "Well, yeah." Then something clicked in her head, and she smiled. "I didn't notice that till now."

I looked from Leslie to Conrad, confused. "Er, excuse me." They turned to me. "Man with an average IQ here. I'm lost in your topic."

"The word philosophy is derived from the Greek terms 'philo' and 'sophia,' which means love and wisdom respectively," Conrad explained to me. "When combined, it means love of wisdom. It also means search for knowledge or truth."

Okay, I thought. That explains everything about Leslie.

"Well, I have to go now," Leslie said. "See ya soon, you two."

I nodded and Conrad said, "Don't worry, Leslie. After I tutor Jesse here, everything will be hunky-dory." He grinned. "'Sides, you rarely get a chance to have a tutoring session with the smartest student of Lark Creek High."

Leslie and I chuckled. Leave it to Conrad to remove the awkwardness in the air.

She smiled while rolling her eyes. "Whatevs, Sheldon Cooper."

After Leslie had left, Conrad raised an eyebrow at me. "Ah, yes. About the moment ago...?"

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. "Leslie was right, Rad. I'm avoiding her 'cause of what she said yesterday."

"And you lied?" he asked incredulously while putting his phone back into his pocket, and then clasped his hands together on the table, like we were having a serious business meeting.

"Of course. I mean, what else should I do?"

"What did she say to you yesterday, anyway, if I may ask?"

I paused. This was Conrad–one of the few people who knew my true feelings for Leslie. I could trust him. "She told me yesterday that s-she was...falling for...for...N-Nigel Groban..."

Conrad's eyes widened and he suddenly stood up. "What?!" he asked, his voice rising several octaves.

Many heads turned to us, and the librarian, who was arranging books on a shelf near us, gave Conrad a glare. Such a bad timing to yell, huh?

"Sorry. Won't bloody happen again," he apologized, sat down, and gave me an incredulous look. "But that's rubbish, Jesse."

Frustrated, I sighed. "Well, she freakin' told me that. I heard her right."

"So you acting weird earlier...Hah! My reason was right." He paused, contemplating something. "But still, that can't be. I mean—oh."

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, maybe you got it all wrong." But he was giving me a smile that meant he knew something I didn't, and I had a feeling that it wasn't about the chemistry lessons.

I glowered at him. "You're hiding something from me."

Conrad grinned and said something I'd never forget in my entire life.

"Let's just say that...everything is never as it seems."