Qi Rong hadn't even realized he fell unconscious but now he was waking up in a mysterious giant white court room. It took him hardly even a minute to realize he was within the realm of heaven. The sun was coming up, or setting... or perhaps on heaven it always golden hour on this dream. The walls around him wear pearly marble white, reflecting the golden rays of the sun which cast an apricity of warmth. It was beautiful, for a courtroom.

"WHERE'S MY SON?!" Qi Rong demanded to whoever might be there with him, he hadn't actually looked around yet. He continued to shout and scream until an angel appeared before him.

"You can't see your son yet!" The angel sad, already frustrated by Qi Rong's annoying antics.

"WHY NOT?!"

"Time is relative in the afterlife," the angel explained, "your Guzi won't arrive for another hundred years."

"BullSHIT!" Qi Rong spat on the perfectly clean marble tile beneath him. He finally stood up to face this angel properly. "I DIED TWO WEEKS AGO AND IM HERE!"

"Yes, but you weren't meant to go to heaven."

"SO TIME GETS TO BE RELATIVE HERE BUT NOT IN HELL OR THE GHOST REALM?!"

"Er... we've brought you here to weigh your actions," the angel said, sharply changing the subject. Now, Qi Rong noticed the courtroom filling with angels. "I am your lawyer."

"I DON'T NEED NO LAWYER! I DONT NEED SHIT!!"

"Please, I'm going to help prove your innocence, then maybe you can see your son."

Qi Rong held back the crude slur he was about to say.

"Xiao Jing," a larger angel acting as the judge announced to the room, his voice booming.

"My name is Qi Rong," Qi Rong corrected with a flat expression. The judge angel motioned for silence but Qi Rong ignored him, deciding to say some nasty gross things at rapid fire before his lawyer Angel could successfully stop him. The judge angel was displeased greatly.

"Xiao Jing," the judge insisted, "or do you really prefer to be referred to as 'Face of Sorrow'?"

Qi Rong scrunched his face before spitting at the tile floor again with great vulgar disrespect. "How about Qing Deng Ye You?" He said with a twisted smile.

The angel's face contorted in offense and disgust. Night Touring Green Lantern. A nickname Qi Rong gave himself after committing some of the worst atrocities of his life where he... may or may not have strung people upside down in trees to create blood rain... FOR FUN! Obviously. Not for attention. Duh. Completely not for attention, don't even suggest that.

"Or go ahead, call me Xiao Jing," Qi Rong grinned crudely.

"Qi Rong," the angel now said, "you committed the crime of breaking into the underworld spiral. Among your vile sins in life, to commit sin in the afterlife is most treacherous. We shall weigh your actions here today. If it is decided this crime is excusable, you may resume your banishment to the mortal realm as a ghost who cannot speak or interact. If we see it fit you be punished, your soul will be splintered and sprinkled across the mortal realm to be put back together slowly so that you may reincarnate as a proper ghost in a thousand years."

"I don't fucking care."

The angels around the courtroom gasped as if this was blasphemous.

"Let's make this quick, then," said the Angel judge. "You broke into the realm of the underworld spiral. The path to it is meant to deter all who don't belong there, yet you chose to walk it. Why?"

"I'm not sorry but why the FUCK would I not being going to Hell in the first place? I've killed people. For fun. There is nothing REDEEMABLE about me."

"You would be going to Hell. In fact, you belong to the ring of gluttony," said the judge. Qi Rong tshed at this and rolled his eyes. "But we told you time is relative. Before you had the chance to go to the gluttony ring, you were fated to learn of how Guzi died which would send you into such a rage that it would break our law of such relativity. Unfinished business is meant for those who lived and died with regrets. You somehow acquired it after dying."

"Yes yes, you're very observant," Qi Rong scoffed. He stuck his tongue out at them, revealing it was split like a snake—something he'd done to himself after leaving the Xianle family once and for all.

"Once your business is satisfied, you'll be sent to the underworld spiral."

"Please."

"But instead you broke into it yourself, hence why we demand to know why."

"I can answer this," the lawyer Angel said, "I believe the soul standing before you is not committing an act of wrathful sin, but of ernest love. He does not know why what he does is wrong because it was never explained to him. This, I believe, is why he deserves to be spared."

"Objection, your honor," said another Angel, "we've established he belongs to the ring of gluttony. He may be trapped in the mortal realm for now but he has committed many sins in his life, the worst and most prominent to land him in gluttony, the sixth deadliest."

"Of seven," Qi Rong interjected just to make their blood boil.

"He strung dead bodies upside down in trees to bleed them dry!" This angel protested.

"Many years ago, and his overwhelming will to do good has blossomed since then," the lawyer said.

"No it hasn't," Qi Rong said.

His lawyer Angel leaned close to him with a scary smiling face as he said "if you don't shut the fuck up I'll make sure they shatter your soul into so many pieces that putting you together would be like balancing grains of sand."

The lawyer Angel then spun back around with a more honest smile for the judge. "When I look at him, I see a heartbroken father who waited three years to see his son, only to have him stripped away right from his very own hands. His heartbreak worsened by learning of truth, can't you imagine what he's going through?"

"He would sell the world, he'd burn it down for that boy. I don't care if he loves him like a son, he's a madman!" said the Angel.

"This is true," Qi Rong agreed, "why can't that guy be my lawyer?"

"I beg to differ. He fought valiantly in a war for three years," the lawyer Angel countered. "Oh can't you see it? His futures so bright, it's burning!"

"It's burning because he would willingly set the world on fire!"

"I don't think he is redeemable," said the judge.

"THANK GOD!" said the lawyer, "I'M SICK OF THIS GUY ANYWAY! BAH HUMBUG!"

"Bah humbug," Qi Rong snorted. (cocaine)

"It is decided. He is guilty, and vile, and deserving of the punishment we have orchestrated," said the judge.

"Whatever, I don't really care. I just have one request," Qi Rong spoke up. The angels looked at him curiously. "Can't I see heaven before I die a second time? I'd like to know what I'm leaving my son to."

There was a long silence before the judge said, "no."

"No?" Qi Rong flicked his tongue, "no?!"

"You're undeserving."

"Can't I at least see my Guzi?"

"He is not here yet."

"So I can't see anything?!"

"Correct."

"... Who glued ALL of your pussies shut?" Qi Rong asked, pointing to all the angels, "I ought to bite your dicks off but I'm sure you ain't gone nothing but lips down there!"

"SO VULGAR!" exclaimed an angel. At least three of them threw up.

"It's true!" Qi Rong exclaimed, "two simple asks I have! Denied! Aren't angels supposed to be good or whatever? It's like you all got a curved stick shoved up your assholes!"

"SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH!"

Qi Rong spat yet again on their tiles.

"Were saints actually martyrs or were they sucking your—"

"SILENCE!" the angels demanded, as if Qi Rong's words could cause the earth to shake.

"Here's a better idea," Qi Rong said, approaching one of the massive windows pouring in sunlight. There were golden curtains around it and fires along the walls which glowed gold and smelled of oranges. Qi Rong grabbed a fire in one of his hands and ran it across a curtain, as if smearing it. It instantly took to flame.

"I will burn this fucking place to the ground," Qi Rong said. "Guzi won't be here for another hundred years? I trust you'll have rebuilt this by then, and it'll look even better thanks to me.

After this, the heavenly court was set aflame. The angels really did try to stop him but he was devious. His will to cause mass destruction outweighed their ability to stop him. Preoccupied with fires already existing, they couldn't stop him from spreading it more. He grew more empowered by the destruction in his wake, and by the time he was done, the courtroom crumbled to dust.

"Go on now. Rebuild your empire."

Qi Rong promptly escaped via the portal they must have brought him there through. And that portal took him straight to Hell where he marched his way to the spiral of the underworld. And once there, he climbed into it. He hiked down all the way to the ring of lust where he returned to where he'd dug his path to the next ring. The hole had been filled as if it were never there in the first place.

Still hot from what had just happened, Qi Rong began digging a second time.

A/N
Crazy how this is a song about Irish independence and I turned it into Ace Attorney

Anyway it's a goated song

Key:

-"Sun coming up on a dream come around" / "Sun coming up on a world that's easy now"
Description of Sun rise and set/an eternal golden hour in heaven

-Any time "time" relativity and the hundred year wait is mentioned it is a reference to "one hundred years from—"

- "After all, darling, I wouldn't sell the world—"
It is stated that Qi Rong, as a mater of fact, would sell the world

-"The future so bright its burning"
The lawyer angel speaks of what he sees for Qi Rong in the future which is countered with "yeah it's burning cause he would willingly set set the world on fire lol"

-"the Martyrs of our revolution—"
Qi Rong literally asks if these martyrs/saints sucked angel dicks lol

-"their spinning caused the earth to shake"
The angels think his vulgarity will cause the earth to shake

-Qi Rong destroys the heavenly court because he knows in 100 years they could rebuilt it