Nerezz's eyes shot open. There was no sunlight and the silence was deafening.

He reached for his phone and squinted from the brightness.

3:06 a.m.

He'd woken up from something - Nerezz knew that much. Something, be it internal or external, had woken him up. His stomach was a knot, his chest raged in fire and his cheeks were flushed from blood flow.

"I feel..." Nerezz tried to speak.

Fucking angry, his mind answered.

"I love her body, but not her", Axels words from so long ago rang in his mind.

"I'm angry", Nerezz hissed.

It was meaningless - Axel's sexual exploits were meaningless. He wasn't doing an act of love, he was just having sex. Removing the pretty veil that should come with the act. Making Nerezz's hopes for Axel finding love in that woman mute, in vain - making a fool of Nerezz.

It actually slightly frightened Nerezz.

Huxley...wanted their first time together to be perfect. He wanted it to mean something...

Isn't that universal? Shouldn't all times mean something? Shouldn't it be a union of hearts? A joining of spirits - anything more than just sweat and spine colliding!

"Maybe it was just Huxley's approach..." Nerezz mumbled in the darkness.

He listened intently for some reason. Waiting for something. It left him confused - nothing happens at three in the morning. People sleep.

Some don't sleep alone.

Axel isn't sleeping alone tonight.

Nerezz shot up in frustration, he flicked on the light switch and his eyes landed automatically on his anti-depressants. His mind wandered to Huxley's letter under his pillow - his bare pillow, as he had ripped off his sheets before falling asleep.

The annoyance swelled within him, his shoulders tensed and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It's supposed to mean something... It's not just an act!" He whisper yelled - so as to not wake his neighbour, Ansel.

"I just", Nerezz shot up, "I need a drink."

He tugged on his boots, threw on a coat and left his apartment wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday that he had fallen asleep in. Leaving his hair in its careless bun. The snow was falling down lightly - illuminated like crystal flakes by the orange streetlights. The gloomy light of the night.

The road was quiet as he approached the corner convenience store - it's 24/7 sign brightly shining in despondent green. He pushed the heavy door open and a bell chimed. The store was much warmer than the icy winter outside.

The clerk looked up boredly at the disheveled Nerezz.

Nerezz was unbothered, making a B-line to the back of the store where the alcohol was kept. He grabbed a cheap bottle of vodka and walked to the counter, putting it down.

The clerk scanned it, "Can't sleep?" He made the passing comment.

"Congratulations, you're a fucking genius", Nerezz huffed, throwing down the money and grabbing the bottle - storming out of the store. It wasn't far from his apartment building - in fact, he could see his door from the store.

Nerezz crossed the road, clutching the cold bottle half-heartedly. He undid his sloppy bun and let his hair fall down so it could whip around in the gentle breeze.

It has to mean something, his mind raged. Something more than just primal pleasure, something more than just sweaty bodies ramming into each other.

Nerezz wiped away a stray angry tear and unscrewed the cap of the bottle as he set foot in the apartment complex's parking lot. He took a massive gulp of the cheap liquor, his throat turning to lava. He squinted his eyes as he tried to process the burn. He continued stumbling in the snow covered pavement to the stairs.

Head lights passed by behind him, as Nerezz reached the stairs.

He took another gulp from the bottle.

"Nerezz..." He heard Axel's deep voice followed by the thud of the blonde closing his car door. Axel must have finally found the note and jacket.

Nerezz had read in some books how the sudden appearance of a character would make one freeze in shock - make their heart thump so loud they could hear it. How the appearance would light the fire of anxiety...

None of that happened.

Nothing happened. Nerezz just paused at the stairs before proceeding to climb them. He could hear Axel's rapid footsteps, running up to catch up with him. The dreadful night was beginning.

Nerezz shook his head in despondence as he reached his floor, Axel had caught up with him.

"Nerezz, you're not supposed to be drinking", Axel spoke softly, gently.

"Go away, Axel", Nerezz clutched the railing as he stumbled to his door.

"She didn't mean anything- I was ju-" Axel began panicked.

That's when the cliché shock happened. Nerezz's eyes shot open and he spun around and slapped Axel across his sturdy cheek.

"That's disgusting..." Nerezz spat, tears welling in his eyes, "That's sick and disgusting..."

Axel's eyes held panic, "I'm...sorry-"

"Don't tell me that, Axel!" Nerezz snapped, "Tell it to that poor woman's spine you used to get your rocks off! Tell that to your cheap love that you seem to pass around! Don't tell that to me!" Nerezz cried.

Shock coloured Axel's face as he held his burning cheek, staring at Nerezz with panicked eyes - as if he were witnessing a crime scene.

Nerezz put a hand to his forehead to calm down, "Go home, Axel", Nerezz spoke softly.

The wind roared up again and Nerezz turned to his door, opening it.

"Why are you even so upset? So I had sex? It's not that deep!" Axel argued as Nerezz stumbled inside his apartment.

"It will never be deep with you... And I think that's the saddest part", Nerezz whispered.

Axel took a step back, as if he had been punched in the gut, "That's not true... It can be deep with me... Don't say that - I can be deep... Why do you even care so much? I can have sex whenever I want - we're... w...we're not in a relationship."

Nerezz smiled dryly, "Ah, that's right... We're not in a relationship... I shouldn't care - you're right. I'll stop caring. Get out of my sight, Axel", Nerezz spoke - dead now. Dead inside and out - no expression and no emotion.

"T-that's not what I meant! I was ju-"

"I don't care what you have to say, go home." Nerezz shut the door, locking it

Nerezz slid down the door, his back resting against it as he took another gulp of the vodka - the burn feeling good.

"Nerezz...let me in", Axel spoke gently from outside the door.

Nerezz kept quiet.

"She didn't mean anything", those words...

"Why are you even so upset? So I had sex? It's not that deep!" Those pitch black words wouldn't leave Nerezz's ears.

"Nerezz... I want you to care. I really am so sorry! Please, please let me in!" Axel's voice grew panicked and pleading near the end.

Nerezz hated that Axel could hear him crying, hated that Axel could make him cry in the first place.

"J-just go home, Axel", Nerezz slammed the back of his head against the door in desperation, "Just please go home! I can't... I can't do this tonight!"

It was quiet for a few seconds, "Ok...Ok, I'm leaving. I'll see y- I'm leaving..." The deep voice strained on the other side of the door - out in the cold.

"It's always supposed to mean something", Nerezz whispered in his dark apartment, a few tears slithered down his flushed cheeks.

Unaware that Axel had heard the whisper of pain.

Unaware of how that painful tone squeezed Axel's heart and throat.