Illuminated by pale light entering the window in his room, Axel lay restless. He admitted to himself that he was frustrated. The knot in his stomach and the anger in his veins rejuvenated his mind.

Conor.

Shorter than Axel. Smaller than Axel. Less confident than Axel.

Then why does he feel like a mountain of a threat?

"I'm better than Conor. What kind of name is Conor anyway? And sure, he has an accent but that will get annoying – he can't even speak English properly!" Axel ranted to the empty room.

And he had to admit, he felt better after ranting to the pale room that contained only his soul.

Until a flash of unearthly green eyes surfaced to his mind. A spark. A ghost – there but barely.

Maybe Nerezz will feel more comfortable with Conor? They're both withdrawn...

Maybe Nerezz will leave me for Cono-

"Why do I care?!" Axel muffled his yell with his pillow.

His mind wandered even further, would Nerezz be okay tonight...all alone? What was the long haired brainiac thinking inside those four haunted walls? Would those thoughts lead to silver and red?

"Maybe I should call him", Axel retrieved his phone, squinting from the brightness.

2:03 am

He put the phone down. It was too late to call Nerezz. What if he opened those pale eyelids over his own confusion? How would the tall blonde feel about disturbing a painting of peace framed by midnight long locks?

His worry didn't cease. His heart pumped hard – yet not rapid. Muscles slightly ready to pounce if he were needed – mind sharp, despite the spinning questions.

"I went to all his sporting events with the biggest banner I could hold up... Huxley was... Huxley was my everything..." Nerezz had said, a longing look in his green eyes.

"How did Huxley feel? Seeing that small body struggling to hold up a massive, supportive banner. How did Huxley feel having someone so special; being able to touch him – to hold him?"

It could have been the darkness. It could have been the distant, pale light in the dead of night. Or, it could have been just Axel.

But his mind wandered to feeling Nerezz against him. Wrapping his big arms around the small figure. A smile blooming on a dead face – and Axel being the cause, being the water to the cracked earth.

Feeling those smooth lips against his own, parting those slim legs so they could be one, be joined lustfully.

Axel's eyes widened. His mind had wandered too far.

Is that what Conor is after?

The hellfire now spread to Axel's chest. He knew, for self discovery reasons that he should focus on his fantasy, but his mind was now fixated on Conor touching Nerezz in places. Places Axel didn't want anyone to touch Nerezz.

*****

"You look a little out of it. You okay?" James smacked Axel on the shoulder.

"I'm fine", Axel answered, his eyes scanning the crowd waiting for the lecture to start.

Long black hair. Long black hair. Long black hair.

He saw flaming hair instead and finally found Nerezz among the sea of students, standing next to Scarlett...as they spoke to Connor.

Axel clenched his jaw in irritation. If he could erase Conor he would.

The sea of students made their way inside and Axel rushed to where Nerezz usually sits but Scarlett had gotten there first, "What? Are you lost?" She quirked a brow at him.

"Hey", Nerezz greeted, walking passed Axel into his seat.

Connor was right behind Nerezz and so also passed Axel. Clenched fists and legal restraint kept Axel in check. He stormed back to his usual seat and sat beside James.

The lecture started and Axel watched as Scarlett and Nerezz left.

Axel got up but James grabbed his sleeve and yanked him back down to his seat, "You and I both need to pass this module. Stay and pay attention."

Fuck off, Axel wanted to say.

But James was right, he needed this grade to stay in next year. So he bounced his leg the entire two hour lecture.

Did Nerezz cut last night?

Has he eaten?

He looked kinda pale, was he feeling alright?

Students started packing up and Axel rushed out the doors, ignoring James' calls – asking what the emergency was. Axel ran to the area he knew Scarlett and Nerezz smoked.

He was greeted only with the flaming red-head.

"He's at the library with Conor", Scarlett exhaled.

Axel saw the scepticism in her eyes and felt himself waiting for a snarky remark, but didn't get one. Scarlett turned back to people-watching.

Axel ran to the library and got there just in time to see Nerezz and Conor go inside.

He hadn't thought this through. Now what? He can't go in because it was a tutoring session, Nerezz needed the money and he wouldn't be able to stop himself from scaring Conor away.

Axel rubbed his hands down his face in frustration.

*****

"And that's the synopsis", Nerezz announced proudly – having explained the basics of a novel to Conor.

"I have to get to my science class, thank you. I will see you again tomorrow?" Conor stood up.

"Sure", Nerezz packed up his stationary as Conor handed him a fifty dollar bill.

"Good luck with your next class" Nerezz spoke to Conor as he left. He tucked the note into his back pocket and flung his satchel over his shoulder making his way out of the library just as it was about to close. The setting sun indicated how long he had been in the library. Luckily there was still some light so he could make it home if he hurried.

He walked quickly when someone stepped out from the shadows.

"Oh thank God! I didn't think you would ever finish", Axel spoke drastically.

"Axel? What are you doing here?" Nerezz asked as he undid his ponytail to redo it.

Axel looked a little tired, and his blue eyes seemed nervous.

"Did you help whats-his-face?" The tall blonde deflected.

"Conor? Yeah, we're meeting again tomorrow", Nerezz started walking and Axel joined him in tandem.

"You guys were in there the whole day? Didn't you explain enough?" Axel asked animatedly.

Nerezz was tired but he thought he heard nervousness in the athlete's voice.

"Sometimes the essay instructions for science students differ to that of literature essays so we had a lot to tackle." Nerezz finally looked at Axel under a brighter lamp post.

"Oh my God... are you okay?" Nerezz asked in worry at the dark circles under Axel's eyes, his slight paleness and soft – yet laboured – breathing.

"I'm fine, can't you guys take a break from it for a week or two?" Axel huffed out.

"Axel the essay is due in one week – we need to get it done... Go home and rest, you look exhausted."

"Okay...yeah. Rest. I just need to rest. Let me drive you home", Axel fished out his keys and they slipped from his hand.

Both men kneeled down to get it and their hands touched. Nerezz felt the cold metal under his fingertips but Axel grabbed Nerezz's hand. It looked like Axel's large, tan hand swallowed his.

Nerezz looked at Axel, but the blonde stared at their conjoined hands. His blue eyes calculating something. A gust of icy winter night blew passed them.

"Axel, the keys."

It looked as if Axel had been electrocuted and released Nerezz's hand. Nerezz stood up and handed Axel the keys back, "Are you okay to drive?" He asked in concern.

"Uh...y-yeah. I just... Yeah, I can drive", the blonde stuttered out his blue eyes bouncing away from Nerezz. He started walking to his car and Nerezz followed, keeping up with Axel's much stronger and larger legs.

They got in the car and Nerezz blew warm hair into his hands, rubbing them together to warm them up.

"Oh, right. H-Here", Axel turned on the heat.

Axel seemed...nervous.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Nerezz asked, concerned about Axel's unusual behaviour as the blonde drove out the campus's gate.

"I'm just tired I guess", Axel kept his eyes forward and Nerezz decided not to prod any further.

*****

Axel pulled into a parking spot at Nerezz's apartment building.

"Do you want some coffee? I don't feel comfortable with you driving half asleep..." Nerezz suggested meekly.

"Uh... yeah. Yeah, that's probably a good idea", Axel mumbled, getting out of the car as well.

They climbed the stairs and Nerezz unlocked his door, letting himself and Axel inside.

Axel plonked down on the bed as Nerezz flicked the switch to turn the kettle on.

"What were you doing on campus so late anyway?" Nerezz asked as he took off his jacket and undid his restricting ponytail. His hair fell down like a midnight waterfall.

"I was waiting for you..." Axel said in a robotic voice, eyes glued on Nerezz.

"What? Why?" Nerezz asked with wide eyes.

Had he been inconsiderate? If he knew Axel was going to be waiting he would've been quicker.

"I like driving you home", Axel looked down at his thumbs, avoiding Nerezz's gaze.

Nerezz opened his mouth but the kettle clicked off and so he got distracted. He poured the coffee and made his way to Axel, handing him the hot liquid energy.

"You don't have to drive me home, you know? I'll be fine walking to and back from school..."

"I know but I still like helping", Axel mumbled.

Nerezz tucked some of his hair behind his ear, "Maybe Connor and I should practice his essays here – then you don't have to wait for me all day."

"No", was all Axel said.

"No?"

"No. You guys will do it in the library. I don't mind waiting", Axel seemed angry now.

Nerezz looked at Axel curiously and worried, "Axel...what's going on?"

Axel sighed, putting the untouched coffee down, "I don't know", he ran his hands down his face, "I'm just tired I guess. I didn't sleep well last night..."

"You can sleep here if you want? I can figure something out." Nerezz spoke as he looked at the floor, trying to calculate how to make it comfortable for himself to sleep on.

In a small voice Axel spoke, "We can share the bed? We have before."

Nerezz cringed in guilt at the memory of Axel basically having him on suicide watch.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable", Nerezz whispered, looking down at the rug.

"It doesn't. You won't", Axel spoke reassuringly.

Axel's energy changed completely then, he seemed happier and less panicked. So Nerezz decided to go along with it.

"Okay, let me just go shower. You can sleep so long, I won't wake you", Nerezz got up.

Axel grabbed Nerezz's sleeve, avoiding his wrist, "Nerezz... nothing bad. Just a shower... promise?"

Nerezz looked at Axel curiously but took Axel's large hand, "Just a shower, nothing bad. I promise."

And so the blonde turned to his side and Nerezz could tell he was already falling asleep. He'd find out why Axel was acting so strange tomorrow morning, for now he just wanted to shower and sleep.

"No. You guys will do it in the library. I don't mind waiting"

There was something about the way Axel said those words that left Nerezz elated.

Yet, on a cold night, he allowed doubt into his mind.

As he had so many nights before.