I thought of my father once more and felt as if a ghost had entered my body. Making my body shiver from the inside. The thought of what I did alone made me want to cry.   

      Yet I would never admit that to anyone. I want to scream that I was sorry but he was hallways away. Yet I sat there contemplating what I had done. I never felt completely bad for what I did but I truly felt guilty. But the thought of hitting him harder filled my mind. The image of having another chance just put a smirk on my face. As I shifted in my seat I felt the eyes of my sister had pinned into me.

       As I turned to face her she swiftly looked away in secret. Yet I felt her judgment from it. I pushed a tear from my eyes as I grabbed her hand. Making her look towards me once again. She had a slight grin on her face. Forcing me to believe that she was holding back a laugh. I wondered if she was forcing herself as well. After a while Marka let go of my hand. I felt the awkward tension between us. 

Somehow I wanted it all to end. After Marka and Mother stopped talking. I slowly lifted from my seat and turned towards her. She glazed up at me and had a questioning face. I opened up my arms and waited for her to take my embrace. She got up from her seat and took a few steps forward. I soon felt her heat radiating off her body. 

     Somehow I felt better yet uncomfortable. I could feel the same from Marka as she yanked her body back. I weakly tried to hold on to her. Yet she broke through our embrace. She slightly chuckled and wiped her hands on her jacket. I matched her chuckle as I wanted to hide in a corner. I took a few steps back and faced Mother. "Well Mother, I'm going to the restroom." I said as she stood. "That's fine Sola." She said as she laughed a little.

As I walked towards the help desk. I could feel my heart beating hard. Making me nervous for odd reasons. I normally never felt like this, yet today is different. When I got there I placed my hand on the counter and leaned against it. "How may I help you?" The lady questioned. I just smiled and asked "Where is the restroom?" As I tried to lose eye contact. 

She pointed in a direction. "Go down this hallway and take a left. After that you should see it." She spoke to me as she watched me in wonder. Once glancing back at her I nodded my head and thanked her. She grinned and quickly went back to what she was doing. As I felt my legs tighten up I noticed my surroundings. The grey colored walls that were matched with bright shining lights. 

As I continued to walk a certain painting caught my eye. One with a back-lit cliff on it. Making me remember the dreams from before. After I got out of my trance I went the way the nurse said. Trying to not forget a simple word she said. Then as I entered the restroom I noticed the tiled floor under my feet. The same nauseating pattern was made. 

Making me quickly step to the sink. I saw my reflection, plastered on the wall. Taunting me from what I remembered. I turned on my heel and stepped inside the stall. "Privacy is all I need." I thought as I sat on the toilet. Yet my soon calm surroundings were broken by the sound of a stall closing. I let out a quiet sigh and looked at my phone. "Millionaire injured in his home!" was the headline I saw. I was taken aback from what I read. How the media really forced a false narrative. "Only if they knew." I thought as I let out a small chuckle. Which was met with a flush. 

I immediately did the same and exited the stall. I was met by a blond lady. She was slightly skinnier than me and had a nice face. She cleared her throat. It was then I realized that I was looking for too long. I grinned a little and washed my hands quickly. As I forced my feet to move I threw away my napkin and left the restroom. I felt her gaze on my back as I left which left shivers down my spine. 

I looked to the left and right and the hallway was quite empty. I let out the breath that I had in my throat. I turned to the water fountain and pressed the button. After a couple sips I felt someone tap my back several times. I turned around and there stood a guy. "Is your name Sola?" he questioned. My face turned into a frown and said "Yes,why?" He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. Causing me to slightly stumble backwards. Yet he held onto me until I pushed him away and he officially let me go. "What is wrong with you?" I asked as I created space between us. 

"I'm sorry um, I'm Joie, Joie Kembel." He says as he allows me to see him. I looked at him head to toe, noticing certain things. "Your Joie from camp, right?" I asked as I took over the space. "Yes you remember!" He said happily. "It's been a long time, I'm surprised you remembered me." I said as a smile creeped on my face. "Well how could I forget my first kis-" 

He said as I interrupted him. He laughed loudly as I had a shocked expression on my face. "Don't bring that up." I said as I slightly walked past him. Causing him to follow behind. Talking to him almost made me forget while I'm here in the first place. It was until my Mother reminded me of her presence.

 "Sola, who is this?" Mother questioned as she stood from her seat. "He is just an old friend Mom." I said with a little annoyance in my voice. "Hey, I'm Joie Kembel." He said as he extended his hand. As they shook a voice came up from behind. "Are you Pavel's Family?" The Doctor questioned as he looked at his clipboard. Mother quickly walked over to him and nodded. As everyone hung onto the Doctor's words. I looked over to Joie. He quickly looked at me with serious concern. Yet I put my focus onto Marka.

 She was looking down at the ground. Clicking her feet together which forced me to think of before. It was until the Doctor said that Father needed Surgery that I was brought back. "Well, can we see him first?" Mother asked as she walked towards him.

 "At the moment he doesn't want any visitors." He said with his eyebrows raised. I express the same look as I looked at Mother. She shook her head and turned to me. She got in my face and said something. 

"What did you say?" I asked as she said it as a whisper. "I said that BASTARD!" she screamed with a angried look.

 I felt a small smile enter my face yet I held it back. Somehow I understood her pain, though it may be better this way. As I watched Mother and Marka head towards the elevator they looked back at me. "Are you coming?" She asked in a nonchalant face. I just looked at them both then back at Joie. "I think I'm going to catch up with Joie." I said as he had a surprised look from what I said. She looked at my face yet just nodded. "Just don't come back too late." she said as the elevator dinged. They both got on and I saw a small smile from them both. I just shook my head and turned towards him. 

"Well it looks like it's you and me." he said as he tried to grab my hand. I then moved towards the elevator and tried to shift my discomfort. He undeniably understood and followed behind me. I was met with a figure to my side and an opening door. I pressed the bottom floor and heard the dinging from above. Making each ding feel like an excruciating hour. Once we finally met the bottom I let out a sigh. "Do you want to sit in my car? If you don't want to then I understand." he said as he slowly walked towards the exit. 

I thought for a moment making him halt at his single footsteps. "I think we can just stand outside of it. That would be better for both of us." I said as I rubbed my arm trying to find comfort in it. He smiled and said he understood and we walked out the door.

Though it had been an hour since we left the hospital it seemed that I was more comfortable.Somehow he had buttered me up to talk about life. Yet I was thankful for the distraction.

 It was the constant youthful memories and cheerful laughter that made me want more. "Do you remember that guy named Dim- Dmitry." He said while laughing. "How could I forget, he was a weird guy." I said as I covered my mouth as I laughed. "Well I found someth-." He said whilst being cut off. The rain had crept in on our conversation. 

Pouring as if buckets were being poured on our heads. We glanced at each other and Joei unlocked his car. Allowing us to be protected from the rain. As I closed my door I looked over at a soaked Joei and laughed hard.

 "What? We're both wet!" he said in a confused tone. "It's nothing." I said as I waved it away whilst holding in my laugh. Nothing felt better than this moment. Whilst we sat there in silence I noticed that he was shaking slightly. Causing me to wonder why he was nervous.

 Once I finally focused back at him he looked at me intensely. Almost causing me to forget what the rain sounded like. Making it sound like distant white noise flooding my ear drums. I noticed how deadly it was when I could hear my gulp leave my throat. This made me fear his gaze almost as much as the dreams I have. He inched forward and I felt almost frozen in my state. It wasn't until he was inches from me did I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket. 

Causing me to flinch and reach for it. "Hello?" I asked as I waited for the other side of the line. "Umm, yes I'll come home in a few." I stated. Once Mother finished talking she hung up the phone. I glanced back at him and said I was sorry. He said it was fine yet I knew he wasn't okay. 

"Well I have to go home now and I don't really have a second to spare." I said as I slowly opened the door. He tried to stop me and say he would take me home. Though I knew that if I did so it wouldn't end well. I left the car and entered into the pouring rain. I called a close friend to pick me up and they took me home. I tried to invite them inside though they said they wouldn't want to. 

I slightly understood why since we all were not on great terms. So I nodded my head and exited. They watched me walk up to the entrance and see me enter. I knew that I had to get things right with them soon.

[Freda Pov]

As I shifted in my bed I knew that sleep wasn't an option. The constant thought of my husband beating on my kids. Constantly reminding me of my past trauma. Things are becoming easier for us. Since his frequent drinking. Maybe getting him that Samogon set wasn't a great option. Yet the Sex is amazing it doesn't make me forget the daily treatment we face.

[Freda Flashback]

As I stood to the side of him as he sat on the couch, I knew that he was in his state again. "Baby it will be okay." I said as I tried to comfort him. Even through the shoulder rubs and soft speaking he didn't listen. "You slept with someone else?" He said as he turned around. I knew that he wouldn't understand me fully.  Though I thought I could persuade him into other things. 

"The real question is, Who is Sola's father?" he asked with a hatred tone in his voice. I stood there not knowing what to really say. "You are baby." I said with shakiness in my voice. He stood up and grabbed me by my shirt. "You lied,you whore!" He said as he threw me over the couch. 

Once he was standing over me I tried to keep the same story. "Now who is Sola's Father?" He asked once more. Yet I only found a lie in my head. So I just laid there with a quivering lip. "You Lied to me Freda... and you did it under this roof. You couldn't even wait till we broke in the house well enough. COULD YOU!" He shouted, causing my eyes to swell. 

It was the distant squick of the door that caught my attention. It was Sola standing in the doorway. I lifted my head up and tried to speak. Yet Pavel spoke first and stepped towards her. Taking her into his arms. He brought his face to hers. "Your Mother is a lying, cheating mother." He said in her ear. I slowly got up from the ground and was flush with the floor. "Please don't tell her that." I said just above a whisper. He looked over at me and put Sola to her feet. It was then that Sola watched me get beat continuously.

Once I noticed it was over Sola was tugging at Pavel's Shirt. She was screaming as much as her voice would allow. Making it hard to mentally fight this battle. [End of Flashback]

I then knew that alcohol and melatonin were the only way to fall asleep. It was going to be a fight yet I was already set for battle.

["Is it a Dream, is it real"]

Sola was holding her stomach as her insides rumbled from the core. There was no cold frosted air coming from her mouth.

More of a Warm dying feeling that felt an odd temptation of the warm man holding her quivering hand like a toasted glove.

Only if she could do the same for her sister who was dead beneath her.

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