In the morning the next day, Becky slowly starts to wake up and roll to her back. Facing the ceiling with barely open eyes, she debates getting up immediately.

After a few minutes, she decides to do just that.  Letting out an uncomfortable groan, she uses her hands to help her sit up on her bed.

She examines her uninviting room for a while before she settles her eyes on the scattered papers she left from the night before lying on the ground.

She swings her feet over the bed and hangs them there, still watching the papers with an unreadable expression.

Standing up and stretching, she groaned loudly before putting her hands over her face.

Murmuring a curse to herself, she realizes she has to face this one.

She slid her hands down and stood from the bed. Tiredly shuffling her feet to the mess, she's careful picking all the papers up.

Putting them back together, she sat down with her legs open and the stack set out in front of her.

"Heya, knock knock, red!" Becky hears a voice and looks over to her bedroom door to give said voice a face.

"Yes, Liv?" She turns her head back to the sheets, spreading them out now to see everything.

"I got information from some little birdie!" Liv invites herself inside with the smallest hop over to her.

"Really?" She turns her body to her with a raised brow, "what is that?"

"Why didn't you kill him?!" Liv exclaims, pushing at her shoulder a little bit and getting the smallest chuckle out of Becky.

Of course it was about that. It couldn't be about anything else.

"First of all" Becky puts a finger out in front of her face, thinking of what to say before saying it.

"Lexi would kill me immediately after, and—as you know—Pam split us up. I'd regret it if I had hit her! I was very, very tempted to kill him though. But, I gotta keep the peace"

"Damn!" Liv pouts a bit, "a secret from me to you, if you don't do it, I will!" She giggles and sits down next to her.

"Please, do" Becky lightly rolls her eyes, turning her attention back to the papers.

"Besides that good stuff, I also got word that you were stressed out or something" she hugs her knees, gazing over at Becky with a sympathetic look.

"Mhmm" Becky agrees but disregards. She didn't really wanna think about this, but out of the few people that could get anything they wanted out of her, Liv was one of them.

"That was true??" This shocks Liv. "how? You're like...the most chill person ever, you're never stressed!"

Becky flips through a few of the pages before finding the correct one and tilting the stack so she could show Charlotte's face.

"Woah! She's smokin'!" Liv widens her eyes at the pictures, pulling them a little closer to see the blonde woman's face better.

"That's true, alright" Becky moves the stack back towards her, placing them back on the floor.

"But, what's the issue?" Liv asks and turns her head to her. She still wasn't understanding.

"I have no idea, I'm just getting this feeling.." Becky moves a hand up to rest her face upon. Biting her nails as she stopped thinking at this point.

"Wait, are you crushin' bro?!" Liv gasps, squealing with excitement as Becky immediately shook her head.

"Absolutely not! Where did you get that from?" Becky scoffs a bit at the accusation. No way, right? She could never bring herself to that. With Charlotte or with anybody.

"She's hot I'll say, but I won't crush. If I admit to showing more than just an attraction to you, then I like you and will say something" she raises a brow, "that isn't the case this time, babydoll" Becky pats her head a little with the hand she removed from under her face.

"Stillll, I think you're crushiiiiin'" Liv giggles and gives a lighthearted kiss to Becky's cheek. Standing up immediately after and looking around to see where she could place herself next.

"Noooooo" Becky exaggerates—even though she was serious. Glancing down at the papers she declares, "I don't even know her. Emotions are not my forte, you know" she sits her head in her hands once again, giving the slightest pout.

"Ever felt attraction before? You're so hot, you've had to!" Liv sets her eyes on Becky's small, black bergère before plopping herself down on it.

"Uhhh, no. Yes?...I'm pretty sure?" Becky truly thinks about this. There were a grand total of 2 times she could recall properly. She had already gone this far and she trusted Liv—but she just wasn't ready to tell. No matter how much she was pressed.

"Rebecca!" Liv whines a bit before tilting her head "have you or have you not?" she asked with more of a soft tone but tried to keep the same urgency.

"Just like twice. I think. Maybe" Becky squints her eyes before closing them completely, "two? Three? Four years ago?..."

"Come on! Gimme a solid answer!" Liv asks.

"I don't have one for you, pinky pie" Becky shrugs at her as she sprawled out on the floor.

"Uh-huuuuuh" Liv curls her lip before dropping the subject, content with not gaining much.

"I'll let you off the hook for now!" she smiles, "When are you getting her?" She changes the subject. Though pushy, she wouldn't cross a limit.

"Whenever I find her" Becky exhales, "don't know when that's gonna be" she rolls on her side to face the woman talking to her.

"Do you know where to start at least?" Liv asks, perking up a little in case she needed help. She was glad to assist.

"Yeah, I got an address or whatever" Becky lazily points towards the papers, "somewhere around here" she sighs softly.

"At least you have that down" Liv smiles as she stood from Becky's fancy chair.

"I'll leave now to do your do—but! You're crushin' and I know it!" the pink-haired woman laughs and skips away from her room briskly to avoid a definite scolding of her teases. Becky was now left in her newly confused thoughts.

"Not a crush. Right? Yeah. I don't need anybody, I don't want anybody -you want her-"

Becky felt a chill through her body as she started to feel her conscience work out of her favor. Quickly trying to stop herself from a spiral, she sits herself up from the floor. These episodes of hers never came often, but when they came, everyone around her would know it.

"Nope. no, I don't" she continues to deny to no avail.

"-there's no point in lying to yourself, you want her and you want her bad. Just wait till you see her-" I don't "-she'll be in the palm of your hand. Imagine what you could get her to do for you-"

Now she knew that things would get serious. While self-aware, she can't quite stop her outbursts or how she reacts to things. Deep down she felt bad poor Liv would feel like she was the blame, but that wasn't the case.

It wasn't ever the other person's fault. Just hers. Her and her sick head's fault.

Becky often had these kinds of thoughts while battling something. Never something minor, always something major. Lots of the time, that sick bastard was right—much to Becky's disgust.

But she was the sick bastard too.

The only thing stopping her from agreeing with herself was her real stubbornness and wants.

This time she let it win. She couldn't take anymore.

"God—SHUT THE FUCK UP!" she furiously stands up, gripping at her hair as she breathed heavier and heavier.

"No, no...YOU DON'T! Listen to me!" Tears rush to her already closed eyes immediately. Collapsing to her knees faster than she got up, she continues to fight with herself.

While her mind fought, her body fought. Often losing its battle before the highest rush of adrenaline hits her as hard as it can without killing her.

"I know what I want! You don't—you don't fucking want or need her!" The pause Becky takes is brief yet dead silent before her head decides it isn't done taunting her—she protests even angrier.

"Who the FUCK is she?!" She screams out louder this time, alerting the rest of the house.

Thinking quickly and before anybody would get hurt, Sasha vigilantly made her way upstairs—at least to check-in.

"FUCKING kill her, THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO DO!" Becky continued to scream to herself, tears flowing down her face no matter how much she didn't want them to as she thought the torment wouldn't ever end.

"..Bex—" Sasha cautiously pokes her head around the corner, appearing at her door frame. She was expecting what she saw, but that didn't mean she wanted to see it.

Without pausing her fury, Becky notices Sasha as soon as she made her presence known.

"And what the fuck do you want, huh?! To ask stupid questions? NO! No, I'm not fucking okay!" She grabs the board at the end of the bed she was by and forces herself off of the floor. Storming towards the door where Sasha stood.

Before Becky could get any closer, Sasha shuts the door. Holding on tightly to the knob, the woman almost loses her grip on it before looking around and finding a block that would have to work.

"OPEN THE DOOR!" Becky viciously kicks at it to get it to budge, but with no success.

Sasha jogs downstairs quicker than she got up them.

"She's at it again" was all she said, but she said it with urgency.

"Did you..give her that shot thing?" Sarah frowns.

Sasha simply stares at her for a second before speaking.

"She was about to murder me with her bare hands if I let that door go. No, I didn't give her that stupid shit" the woman sighs as she sits down once again where she was before.

"Is that...my fault?" Liv just barely glances up towards the stairs. A lot of guilt swelled up in her and she couldn't entirely tell why. She hoped she didn't push Becky far, but now she thinks she did.

"No, no no no, it's not, Liv. Don't say that" Alexa shakes her head, turning her attention to the woman with the pink hair.

"But what if it is?" Liv rejects her reassurance, "I was the last one up there, I was trying to get her to say something she didn't wanna say" her voice gets higher as she felt the urge to cry.

"No, it isn't. I'm sure" Alexa soothes. "Come here, let's go somewhere so you can cheer up" Sarah stands and takes Liv's hand to lead her away from the disorder. The last thing needed was more people upset right now.

Without speaking, Bayley stands, brushing her lap off with the slightest sigh, "that stupid 'shot'  is gonna kill her one day, I swear. Do we even have any more?"

"Don't think so" Alexa declined. All of them listening to the chaos ensuing above their heads.

"Okay then. Gotta do this old fashioned" Bayley claps her hands together, "I'll be back"

"Hey, be safe" Sasha grabs her arm, giving her a look of concern.

"I'll be fine. I've dealt with these more than you care to know" she pulls her arm away and walks up the now daunting flight of stairs.

After getting to the door, Bayley tries her best to quietly move the block from in front of the door. Waiting a moment after she does, she softly knocks on the door. The strained noises behind it stopped.

"Hey, Becky?" Bayley puts her ear to the door. The only sounds she could be able to hear were low, harsh insults being mumbled.

Not getting much of an answer, Bayley silently starts to open the door.

Becky turns her head in the direction of the door with an agitated expression as she watched Bayley cautiously close the door and step inside of the room.

"Don't even think about it. I don't want that shit." Becky spat. Her face is stained with hot tears as she sniffs a couple of them away.

"I don't have any" Bayley raises her hands, "I don't have anything. It's just me"

She starts to walk closer to her, not surprised as Becky quickly scooted in the opposite direction.

"Leave me alone!" She protests. Still very upset and wanting nothing more than to be left alone to let her fight herself.

"I'm only here to help you" Bayley denies as she continues to grow closer before Becky's back hits the wall.

"I don't need help!" Becky curses at herself for being cornered like this as shakes her head quickly.

"Get out! I don't need it—" Of course, she wanted to go on, but Bayley wasn't letting up.

"Rebecca. Calm down" Bayley goes to touch her arm only for Becky to jerk it away.

It was during this, the menacing voice that sat often in Becky's head decided to surrender.

"Stop it! Just stop it." She feels the gut-wrenching feeling in her body starting to go away. At this, she starts to cry. Would her mean-spirited conscience let her off that easy?

"I'm just here to talk to you" Bayley puts her hands out cautiously. Persistence was the only way she was going to try and crack her.

"I don't wanna talk to you!" Becky sobs out. While she says this aloud, her body disobeys her and falls into the other woman's arms.

Yes. Her conscience gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Bayley gratefully catches her and holds her. Metaphorically releasing a big sigh of relief, she frowns a little bit and doesn't let her go, "just calm down, please."

A short time passes by before Becky begins repeating how sorry she is. So constantly that Bayley begins to question how she's even the same person from 5 or even 20 minutes ago.

Still—she was here to comfort her, not be confused by her behavior.

"Shhhh. It's fine" Bayley lowers her voice and pats her back. Staying put with her until she calmed down enough to be let go.
——-
"Never? In your life?" Bayley crosses her legs as she spoke to the now relaxed Becky.

The two had sat in silence until striking up a conversation similar to how this all started.

"Well, not never. Not many, nothing serious, nothing worth mentioning" Becky shakes her head with her feet propped up comfortably. "Somehow that confuses people"

Bayley nods, feeling a slight smile creep up as she remembered something she was told before. "Sasha told me you liked her" she wiggled her brows.

"Don't get me started" Becky jokes, biting her tongue a little before talking, "I did. For a little bit when I first got here, then I got over it" she chuckles under her breath. "Ties into the 'nothing serious' you see"

"I do" Bayley hums. "Didn't you date someone before I got here? I've heard Lexi talk about it a couple of times"

Becky thinks about who this could be, then it hits her. The great misconception.

"Finn? No..no, we didn't date" she shakes her head, "everyone just thought we did"

"Can I ask why?" Pam tilts her head, "don't answer if you don't want to" she reassures.

"Might as well. You're already comfy. I've known him since we were younger—like, toddlers younger—before we got to America and eventually came over together. We were fuckin' idiots" she smiled a little bit, "he really understood me" she messes with her hands, "I wasn't always a fucking jackass to myself"

Bayley frowns a little bit, "what..happened to him?" she pauses a little in her sentence. She didn't know if she was striking a nerve here.

"Nothing really, he just needed to get away from here. This place benefits some, but not everybody. It wasn't doing him any good and he started to change—not for the better. I was the only one who could see that apparently" Becky presses her lips together.

Thinking about how the events played out truly didn't make her happy, but she hadn't ever talked about it. Once it happened, she coped by working nonstop and shutting everyone out. This would come back to bite her in the long run.

"When he left, I worked and worked some more. One day I spiraled out of control. Lashed out on every single motherfucker in this house that was there at the time. That's why Sasha is a bit bitter to me. It may be a little lighthearted sometimes now or we could be not so hot another. I suppose she's forgiven me to an extent but—I said some really fucked up things to some of the only people that saw anything in me"

This makes Bayley consider how she's seen the two act around each other and nods a little because it made a lot of sense. She will say she wasn't shocked because of what happened. Becky was swell, but this wasn't the most surprising thing she'd heard about her.

"Gosh, that's a lot. I'm so sorry—"

"Don't be sorry for me" Becky cuts her off, "I regret it, but it's fine. What's happened has happened, so it's no issue anymore"

Bayley wanted to object but instead nods slightly to agree with her.

"Anyways. It's never been important to me to have a partner or something like that. Maybe just a friend sometimes" Becky shrugs.

"Did you find Finn to be that friend you think you needed the most?" Bayley asks. Now she was starting to press a little.

Becky moves her eyes to look at her face, not exactly knowing how to answer so she just stated the obvious.

"I guess I did. Not sure if I can say the same considering I haven't spoken to him in years." Becky's breath catches a little bit, "I don't know, I just.." she pauses, looking away from her face and down to the floor before switching to her hands.

"I just miss him, Pam. I really fucking miss him" Becky shakes her head. If anything, she just wanted to know if he was doing okay. Loss of contact and barely being able to live normally were not helping her case.

Always being quite troubled, violence was often a part of who she was. She wasn't used to much 'loving' of any kind and it frightened her a bit. It was foreign. That's what she would say for herself. But when Becky was with him, it was the least of her concerns.

A rush of sad emotions came over her as she suddenly saw a tear fall to where she was looking. Quickly wiping them away, she sniffs and lifts her head back up.

Bayley watches her reaction. She had barely seen her exude real emotion like this before anyone, or about anyone and it began to make her wonder.

"Would you consider that a love?" She asks.

This makes Becky pause. Her face quickly grew flustered.

"N—no, it wasn't in that way" Becky defends, shaking her head again as she kept her eyes on the questioning woman.

"It doesn't have to be romantic, Becky. Everything you just told me and that look on your face is enough. You loved him, and it's okay to say that"

Becky is taken aback by how forward she was with her, but the more she thought, the more she couldn't say she was lying.

She says nothing, not having any input to give as she dragged her eyes back down at the stack of papers that taunted her ever so much. Clenching her fists a bit, she looks away.

"That seems to be different" Bayley noticed what she's just done. "I doubt you want to talk about that, but you might wanna get on it," Bayley tells her, "remember this though, please. Don't think about these things so hard. It's okay to like, and it's okay to love if you feel it coming. You can't ignore what you feel"

"I'll try" Was all Becky could say.

"Don't do it for anybody else. Do it for yourself" Bayley leans closer to her and clasps a tight hug around her.

Becky wasn't one for much physical contact either, but she hugs her back like a vice.

"Thank you." she was able to muster from Bayley's shoulder where her head lay. She meant it.

"You're welcome, Rebecca" Bayley rubs her back, "is it okay to say that I love you?"

This makes Becky crack a smile. When was the last time somebody said that to her and meant it?

"Yes. Please do, actually" Becky encourages. She wants a real sense of it to be sure it was what she needed to hear.

"Then, I love you. Are you comfortable to say it back?"

Becky doesn't take too much thinking to answer this. Right now she could consider Bayley a real live saver. So, she says it back.

"I love you"