Just making sure, here! I just want to see if everyone is still enjoying this story. I know it hasn't gotten the hype like my previous stories have and I'm fine with that but I just want to make sure everyone is still enjoying this one so far? I'm still gonna finish this book but I wanted to know everyone's opinion. I'm self-conscious I guess 😅

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, JACKIE!?" Chase whisper-yelled.

The hero had a frozen bag of ice on his face, barely listening to his brother yell at him.

Jameson had left right after they came, leaving Chase fuming and barely keeping his temper together so he wouldn't wake his kids.

"I don't know why you're yelling" Jackie snorted, "This isn't the first time I've gotten in a fight"

"FIRST TIME YOU'VE BEEN DRUNK DURING ONE!" he shouted and immediately hushed himself, swallowing and taking a deep breathe.

Jackie had the sense then to look ashamed. He really shouldn't have lost control like that. It wasn't like him.

"I'm sorry"

Chase stared at him before slowly sitting down in front of him, rubbing his hands over his face in exasperation.

"It's okay. It's just . . . . I've never expected this from you. Who did you even fight with? Was it Anti?"

Thinking back to the fight, Jackie was tempted on telling Chase what happened. But then again would he really understand? He was understanding with him since Anti hadn't harmed his kids but that didn't mean he trusted the glitch, either.

"Hm.. . . No. It wasn't. Just some random gang, Chase. Nothing to worry about"

"Why weren't you in uniform?"

"Well I wasn't expecting to get mugged" Jackie huffed, "I went out for a drink. Went out so no one would recognize me. Must have been more fucked up than I thought. . . . Not that it matters"

".. . . Not that. . .it matters?" Chase was confused at his words and shook his head, trying to figure it out, "Jackie. . . .You've been acting weird lately. You know?"

"Weird?" This time Jackie was the confused one and set down the ice bag, "How so?"

". . . I don't know. You just haven't been .. .  yourself. What's up, man?"

And what would he say? That's he's been depressed lately? He's not the hero he once was? He knows Chase had a mental history himself, though. He didn't want to bring up bad memories for him. 

But he needed to say something. 

"No one needs me, Chase"

The father snorted and laughed a little in surprised, "Wh-what?" but he could see he was serious and furrowed his brow, "Uh . . . Jackie . . . of course people need you. You're a hero"

"Am I?" he wasn't sure he believed that anymore, "No matter what I do, people still get hurt. There is still crime and it just always . . . stays the same. Nothing's changed since I've come here. . . . . I'm no hero"

"Don't say that, man" Chase stood up. The single father looked worried. As if he didn't know what to do in this type of situation. What should he do or say?

"You've done a lot for this city, Jackie." he subtly looked over to the kitchen where he stored his secret bottle of whiskey. Unopened  . . .just to remind himself of why he stopped, "You've done a lot for the people in this city. Especially me. . . . Whatever's in your head telling you that shit, dude. . . . don't fucking listen to it. It's wrong."

Jackie wanted to believe him. He really did. And he didn't want to hurt Chase.

"You're right" he lied, "Sorry. Maybe being cooped up for so long has gotten me all fucked up, you know? Once I get back out there. . ..maybe I'll feel better." 

He didn't want to worry him or the others and it seemed his words helped put Chase at ease.

Chase nodded, "Yeah. . .yeah, man. I get it."

Jackie smiled, "Mind if I crash here tonight?"

Chase snorted, "As if I'd let your drunk ass walk all the way back to your apartment. Don't want you getting mugged again"

They had a good short laugh and Chase went to bed after setting up the couch for him to sleep on.

He really wanted to believe Chase but he just couldn't bring himself to. He's seen the evidence himself all over TV. Right? Or was that just media bullshit?

No one really needed him?

He was just like everyone else. Just stronger and could project lightening through other objects not dissimilar to Anti.

Antisepticeye.

As Jackie laid on the couch, he started to think about the glitch. His rival.

'I wonder what Anti feels. Has he ever felt powerless before? Useless?'

He thought of answering those questions on the inside himself but really, he couldn't find it in him to. 

Before tonight, he thought he knew all about him.

Turns out he really didn't understand him after all.

Anti had lived it up at the bar as much as he could, forgetting completely about the stranger in the alley he had technically 'saved'.

He drank, danced and flirted outrageously. Not to mention he indulged himself in some high-quality drugs in the back alley way by some guy he sort of knew.

He felt great. Stoned out of his mind and light as a feather.

Laughing like an insane man, he joined in dancing with a few people who were just as fucked-up as him.

'No wonder Chase liked this bar so much. Fooking riot!'

He sucked down a beer, not worried in the least if security came after him.

But he didn't have to worry about that. A few more drinks later, he got the call from that gang boss he was 'working' for.

They had agreed to the deal.

Anti collapsed on his cold hard-wood floor when he glitched his way home back to his shit-hole apartment. The cold felt good on his back an he stared up at the ceiling. As he did so, he could feel that drug he took slowly ebb away. Even still though, he felt so light.

He remembered saving that citizen from that low-class gang.

'Stupid fucker' he thought about him, 'Must have just left that bar, too. Really thought he could take them all on? What an idiot'

Then again, he couldn't help but feel . . .invigorated for some reason after saving him.

Those men were going to kill him. And Anti saved his life. Anti had control over that.

Killing another man like he had tonight never felt so sweet. Was it because he was . . .helping someone in the process?

'No, no, no' he shook his head, 'You're not sober yet, Anti. Not thinking straight.'

But it really did feel so good. Better than ever. Killing hasn't felt as good as it used to for him. It had grown dull for a while. 

To amp himself up, he always started a fight with Jackie.

Had the hero even realized Anti had stopped killing mindlessly?

'No, of course not. He's too damn stupid to notice. Not that it matters. Not like Jackie or the others really cares about what I do otherwise. But I've been busy lately. That's why. Been plotting. Yes, that's it.'

Anti slowly sat up. The lights were still off but that didn't matter to him. He sulked in the dark, looking towards his window from the floor to see the dark night sky, being washed out by the city lights.

'Wonder what the other egos are up to? Living their happy and carefree lives. Even Chase has been better lately.  . . . . .' he thought about that and he thought about Chase's kids.

He growled deeply in his throat, remembering how he treated the brats.

'Maybe I really have gotten soft. . . . can't let them think I've changed any'

His eyes glittered neon green, remembering how he saved Jackie out from the rubble. How he talked to the children so nicely. How he saved that strange man in the alley. How he hadn't killed anyone mindlessly for months!

'I need to . . . .  pay some of them a little visit' he thought to himself, standing up to go walk over to his bed, 'Make them understand. Remember who they're sharing this city with until I can enact my full plan'

The next day, Jackie made a visit to the precinct. He needed actual evidence and proof and only the station or Abe could give it to him.

He walked right in with his full uniform on. Some people tried to say hello to him but stopped once they saw his bruised face. The mask wasn't doing well to cover that.

Once he got closer to the offices, Abe saw him and at first he looked nearly irritated but that changed when Jackie got closer.

"The fuck happened to you, Red!?" he yelled at him, dragging him off to his office, "Sit down."

Jackie took the offer and sat down in front of his friend's desk. Abe didn't know where to start.

"You look like shit. What happened?" he started to ask, "I know a building practically fell on you but where'd you get those bruises on your face?"

Jackie grunted, "Not important. I guess I'm just not as healed up as I was hoping is all. But Abe, I'm here to ask you a question"

For once, Abe seemed considerate and rubbed his hands together, "What do you need?"

Jackie leaned forward, "Do I make a difference, Abe?"

The detective snorted, "Well of course you do! I'd trade in any officer for you any day!"

"Trade me . . . . any officer" that wasn't the answer he wanted, "Abe . . . as a hero have I . . . . I need to know if crime has gone down at all really since I've been around"

The detective went pale, "I uh . . . don't know what you mean, Red. Of course you've been a great help. Anyone could attest to that"

"That's not the kind of answer I'm looking for and you know it, Abe! Just fooking tell me! Be honest with me, Abe!"

"Jackie" Abe sighed, "I . . ." he didn't want to tell him, "Well . . . I looked at the data. And yes, you have made a good difference, Jackie"

"But?" there was something the detective wasn't telling him, "There's a but, Abe. I know it"

"But . . ." he started on, "It's not as big of a difference as you're wanting."

"How much?"

"Jackie, it really doesn't matter-"

"It matters to me, Abe! Now fucking tell me already! Tell me the difference!"

"Five percent!"

.

.

.

Jackie let out his breathe and sunk in his chair further. He wasn't expecting that.

What was he expecting?

"That's it?"

Abe licked his lips and handed him a file with all the data in it, "You can see for yourself. But yeah. . . five percent. And Jackie, you really should be happy about that! That IS a difference!"

"Not enough" he stared at the numbers blankly, "I thought I . . . . was doing more. . . . ."

Abe didn't know what to say but he tried his best, "You're doing everything you can." he swallowed, "One man can't-"

"I'm not just one man, Abe and you know it. . . I SHOULD be able to . . . I . . ." he closed the file and held his head, "You really don't need me, do you?"

"That's not-"

"Don't lie to me" Jackie stood up, tossing the file back on Abe's desk, ". . . . I think I'm gonna. . . . I think I need some time, Abe. Sorry. I just . . ."

Abe looked heartbroken. He didn't know what to say to make this any better, "I'm sorry, Jackie. If it means anything though, I think you're a great guy. A good hero. I think you make a great difference no matter what numbers on a piece of paper say"

Jackie just sighed heavily and turned to leave. He started to open the door, knowing he wouldn't be coming back for at least a long while.

"Thanks, Abe. I'm sorry I couldn't have done better."

"You get some rest." Abe just said, "Come back when you're feeling better. We really coudl use your help"

". . . . Right" Jackie left without another word. What was there to say?

What more is there to do or say when you've just been proven your time and effort doesn't matter?

'But maybe he could be right' Jackie thought to himself, 'I just need a longer break is all. . .  I could come back stronger than before.'

He tried to pretend to be more optimistic.

'Hen would be happy'

Jackie didn't even feel up to using his grappling hook to get home. People watched him walk by them in his uniform but didn't say anything to him.

It almost made him feel worse.

Did they really not care?

Would they all be happy if he stopped?

He sighed to himself, coming up to that same alley way where Anti had saved him.

'I know at least someone would be happy. . . . ' he only thought about what Anti would do if he stopped but the more he thought about it, the more he realized it might be better. Anti only ever really attacked him and other people to get to him, right?

Him and the other egos? 

What if taking himself away from the equation  . . 

. . was the best thing he could do?