Isn't it funny how disastrous life can get once everything finally seems perfect. Like, life dangles happiness in front of you like a carrot and when you reach for it, life jerks it out of your reach and yells, "psych"? Fate seems to have a sense of humor. A real fucked up sense of humor.

It started off as any regular night. I had a bit of a headache but nothing a little ibuprofen can't cure. It was so nice being able to be held by Tom, our hearts pressed together as we talked about our day and what we were looking forward to tomorrow. His apartment lease is over in a few months, but he has basically moved into my—our house.

He holds me close every night, and I always feel so safe in his warm embrace. The thump of his strong heart was my personal lullaby, and he always fell asleep quickly, especially if I was running my fingers through his hair. His body is like a heater, but I'd rather die of heatstroke than spend a minute away from him.

But then, I woke up.

My eyes fluttered open, and my head was throbbing. I tried to wiggle my arm because it was falling asleep, feeling like static on the television screen or feeling the way that Sprite from McDonalds tastes. I tried to wiggle my fingers but then I noticed that Tom was still holding me close. His breathing was deep and rhythmic, telling me that he was still fast asleep.

I rolled my head to peak at the alarm clock to see what time it was, since there was no light coming from the window. I tried to focus my vision but I couldn't acknowledge the time because my head began to swim within itself. I was feeling dizzy even though I was laying down.

I squeezed my eyes shut to try to dismiss the feeling, and when I squirmed I could feel my cold and damp clothes sticking to me like honey. My heart was anxiously pounding out of my chest and I could feel cold sweat dripping down my forehead and disappearing in my hairline. My body shook like I had the chills from a fever.

This wasn't good.

I didn't know what else to do. I had to try to push this feeling away, and in my panic, the only thing I thought to do was to try to disappear so I didn't wake up Tom and hope that this feeling would not follow me. I was so weak.

As I tried to sit up, I immediately collapsed back down. My breathing got heavy, but then my chest cramped and it was difficult for me to breathe. It felt like someone had reached into my chest cavity and squeezed the air out of my lungs. This sudden stabbing pain expended through my shoulders and down my back and into my stomach. My mouth was gaping open, and I was trying not to pass out from the pain. I managed to throw my arm over Tom, because I knew that something was seriously wrong and I was too weak to yell at him to wake up.

With the last bit of strength I had left, I breathlessly begged for him to wake up. "Tom... Tom..."

Tom's POV

"Tom... Tom..."

Vivien's voice was calling out to me, and I thought I was dreaming. I was half-awake when I stretched my arm over to her and I lovingly pulled her closer. But then she said my name again, this time in my ear. This made me groggily ask, "hmm?"

"I don't feel very good."

My eyebrows furrowed together as my eyes shot open in concern. I found her laying on her pillow, with her chest going up and down quickly but I could only hear the soft wheeze of her struggling to breathe. I sat up straight and asked, "hey, hey, what's the matter?"

Viv did not have a chance to answer. She immediately sat up and she leaned over the bed and puked on the ground. Bodily fluids make me uneasy, but I got on my knees and patted her back to try to comfort her. My eyes gazed down, but I had to do a double take when I saw that even in the darkness, it was easy to tell that it was blood.

This is really not good.

I immediately jumped out of bed and threw on the first pair of sweats I could find and I shoved my feet into my nearby slippers. The hospital is really close to her house, I'd probably get her there faster than it would take for an ambulance to get here.

I was careful not to step on the blood on the ground, but I managed to scoop her up in my arms and her limp head rested against my chest. She mumbled something to me before she passed out, and my anxiety was through the roof. I had never been so terrified in my life.

She's always warned me about this. We always knew this day would come, but I wasn't ready. She wasn't ready. I can't lose her, I won't let that happen. I won't let her go.

The last time I held her like this, I was carrying her into our home after getting married. That was easily the happiest day of my life. But now, I held her the same way but this was the most terrifying night of my life. The parallel was haunting.

As fast as I could, I ran down out of the house and laid her in the backseat of my car. Her face was sunken in and pale, and her cold skin was clammy. I looked at her for a moment, and the reality of this terrifying situation set in. I jumped into the drivers seat and I put the red flashing siren on the roof of my car and I raced down the street.

The moon was still shining bright above when we got to the hospital. I parked right in front, and I carried her into the emergency room.

"Please help me... my wife... please," I begged to anyone who could hear me.

The nurses and doctors standing at the front desk all snapped their heads my way and one doctor ordered to someone behind him and he snapped his fingers.

A couple nurses and a doctor ran up to me and one of them asked me something, but all I could hear was a ringing in my ears so I wasn't really listening to her. It looked like she wanted an answer so I just said, "she—um... she puked blood."

A gurney was immediately rolled up beside me and a doctor assisted in helping me lay her down on it properly. As soon as my hands left her, they immediately went up and latched behind my head. I was so scared.

One of the nurses reassured, "we will take care of her, sir, okay?"

I nodded and bit my lips together to keep them from trembling. "Okay."

I had to watch them race down the hallway before disappearing into a room that I assumed I would not be allowed into.

I sat in the waiting room with my leg bouncing like it was on a trampoline. I had nothing to do but wait, and that was the hardest thing of all, is the not knowing. Is she okay? Is she going to be able to come home tonight? Will I have to say goodbye? There were too many questions that could not be answered when I needed them to be. I had no idea how far her illness had progressed. A nurse did come by and asked me some basic questions: everything I know about her condition, what happened after we woke up, insurance, allergies, blood type, things like that.

I was only updated once, and they told me that she was in critical condition and the next few hours were going to be crucial. When I asked if I could see her, they said no which I found to be a good sign. That meant it wasn't time to say goodbye yet.

When we are apart, I feel like I'm missing half of me. But I could feel it in my heart that she was okay. She is going to wake up and we will be able to go back home... she has to come back home.

Night shift was slowly filtering out and day shift was coming into work. I was offered a coffee from the hospital cafeteria, but I couldn't keep anything down with the knowledge that Viv was fighting for her life. I know this illness is a marathon, not a sprint. She has been inching closer and closer to the finish line every day, but I didn't realize just how close she really was to it.

I've waited a hundred years, but I'd wait a million more for her. There is nothing that could have prepared me for the privilege of being hers. Her warm touch paired with her blushing smile shows me everyday what I've been living for all along. It feels amazing to be hers. She is the closest to heaven that I will ever be.

I had my legs crossed and my foot was bouncing up and down in anxious anticipation. Finally, a tall man wearing a white coat with a stethoscope around his neck came into the waiting room with a clipboard and he asked, "Tom Hanson?"

My head snapped up and I jumped to my feet. The answer was finally here. But was I ready to hear it? I walked over to him and asked, "how's she doing, doc?"

The doctor said, "it was touch and go for a minute, but she came around. She's resting now, but you can see her."

As he began to escort me to her room, he asked, "is there any other family we can call? We don't have access to her records or emergency contacts."

I shook my head. "No, I'm her husband."

"All right. I suggest that she get that updated."

I nodded. "I'll tell her."

He opened the door and Vivien was sleeping on the bed. He left, and I pulled up a chair next to her. I kissed her forehead and closed my eyes. I sat back in the chair and I held her hand. I already noticed that she looked much better. Her face wasn't as white as a ghost, and when I held her hand, it was no longer clammy. She wasn't as cold as death anymore.

I was beyond relieved that she was still here. I never want her to go through that again. I don't think she's aware of this hold she has on me. I could stand for a hundred hours but I seem to fall when I'm around her. I guess it's true; we never really know when we will run out of time. I would sacrifice my life for her. If I could trade places with her, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I sat there for a few minutes, just watching her chest effortlessly go up and down. It consoled me and supported the truth that she was actually still here. Suddenly, I felt a tickle in my nose and I sneezed into my elbow.

"Bless you," she said in a soft voice.

"Thank you," I said absentmindedly. My eyes widened when I realized Viv was awake. I leaned forward and held her hand tighter and said, "hey, there you are. I thought I lost you."

She weakly scoffed and I felt her squeeze my hand back. She jokingly said, "lose me? Never."

I chuckled back but the reality of the past few hours washed over me and I looked down so she wouldn't see my lips quivering. She noticed because she said, "hey, hey, don't cry."

"I'm not," I sniffed and lifted my head up. I smiled at her, and she smiled back feebly.

"What's wrong?" She asked, tilting her head the way she does.

"It's nothing. I just thought I lost you, sweetheart, that's all."

"You'll never lose me. Even when I'm gone, I'll never be that far away."

"I knew you'd never leave before we went to Vienna," I joked softly.

She smiled at me weakly. "Never."

After this scare, I realized that since we are not promised tomorrow, I am going to love her like I'm going to lose her. I won't take her for granted, and I'll act like every hug will be our last. Every chance that I get, I'll kiss her longer and I'll make the most of the time we have left together.

I could feel her heart inside of mine. I was going out of my mind out there, not being able to do anything except hope and pray. Now the relief had washed over me and the fear and the pain was subsided. I showed her my heart for her eyes only. She knows me better than anyone in this world, and I would truly give up everything if she asked me too.

I love her to the moon and back.