I woke up this morning with a rain cloud over my head. My brain was in a fog, and a debilitating migraine took over every bit of my morning. I felt weak, and I could barely force myself out of bed. I felt too nauseous to eat, so I didn't.

Tom had gone to work, and we were supposed to grab lunch together, but I was having a bad morning so I really didn't want to leave the house. It was times like these where I was painfully reminded of my own mortality. I know it in the back of my mind, but being reminded is just cruel and unnecessary.

Please, God, see me through another day. I'm not ready to go. Not yet.

In our backyard, lives a delightful garden left by the past owners of the house that I took last summer to enhance. The plants and flowers are gorgeous and in a rainbow of colors. I took my medicine and walked under the leaves of trees that block the soft breeze until I reached my second favorite spot in the entire world. In my backyard, lives a beautiful patch of peonies.

I laid down under the lovely flowers, seeing only the beautiful, calm pink seas that fluttered ever so softly in the warm wind that caressed my face. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, their soft aroma tickled my nose with warmth and comfort. I loved being underneath the peonies.

I have been hanging on to the good times, so when I don't feel good and I close my eyes, I remember all these little things that made my world brighter. It brings me back to those moments. It helps me forget.

I heard soft footsteps approaching, but I didn't open my eyes. After a bit, Tom's words filled the air, "how did I know I'd find you here?"

A smile perked up my lips and I let out the softest giggle. I heard him lay down beside me, then my hand was held in his, warming up my skin. Every moment I get with him is a moment I will treasure for the rest of my life... however long it may be.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

I took a shaky breath and looked up at the fluffy clouds. "Not yet."

"Are you hungry?" He asked softly.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. My lips began to tremble so I bit them together and shook my head no. I sniffed, then I felt his warm lips against my cheek.

I could feel his heart so close to mine. I wish that we could stay here in this moment, forever. For moments like these, I wish I had a pause button. We can just stay here for a while, forget about life, and never have to worry about a thing.

I fiddled with the ring on his finger to release some of my nervous energy. My throat felt tight, but I managed to ask, "if I lay here, would you lie with me and we can just forget the world? Please don't leave me here alone."

"Of course I'll stay with you. I will always be by your side, and to remind you that I always have and always will love you. I'm not leaving any time soon."

That was comforting to me, but even though he tries not to acknowledge it, I know that I am not going to be here for forever. I'll be gone, much sooner than anyone expected.

"The hard part is not only leaving you, but I don't know what to expect... ya know? Like, what's beyond the sky?"

"Well—" he cleared this throat and his eyes fixated on the blue sky above "—there's a place, just over the rainbow, where bluebirds fly and trouble melts away like lemon drops. We will fly up, where the clouds are far behind us, and we will never see the end."

I let out a shaky breath instead of a chuckle. I knew that he got that from the Wizard of Oz, we watched it recently. But I was too weak to laugh. The feeling quickly diminished, and I was just left with the pain.

I was tired, sore, and my throat hurt too much to speak. My voice was barely louder than a whisper. "I just want to get out of here."

"Where do you want to go?" He asked.

I let my eyes focus on the clear blue sky above us, and even though it was the middle of the day I could see the moon. Being on the moon wouldn't seem so bad. My troubles would feel so small, and they could just float away. I responded, "the moon."

He paused before he said with a tight voice, "you'll get to the moon. We'll go. Are you tired?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" He asked in a soft voice.

"It's the way it is, you know? Everything has to end. I'm pretty scared. I didn't think I would be, but I am."

He sighed softly, "and that's okay. I'll never let you go."

"I don't feel good." I knew my time was coming to an end. I could feel it in my heart, but I wasn't ready to let go yet. I just wanted more time. Tears were escaping out of the outer corners of my eyes and running down my temples silently. For all my life, I always thought that I didn't want to die. That I was immortal. I had so much to live for, and so much more to do. It also seemed impossible, that I would be leaving him.

Tom propped himself up on his elbow and scooped me up in his arms. I rested my head on the grass and closed my eyes, and he traced his finger on my hand and crept it up my arm before stroking my face and hair.

"Just close your eyes, you'll be all right. I'll be right here. Nothing can hurt you now. You and I will be safe and sound."

"I'll always be with you, even if you can't see me," I promised.

Ever so softly, he sang one of my favorite songs to me in his gentle, soothing voice. He was so quiet, that even if I spaced out for a moment, I wouldn't be able to hear him.

"Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like on
A-Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me."

His voice sounded weak and strained, like he was trying desperately not to cry, which added to the emotional weight of the song for our situation. I let his voice wash over me like a wave, and he continued to run his fingers through my hair gently.

"Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you."

"Fill my heart with song
Let me sing forevermore
You are all I long for, all I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words
In other words
I love you."

My lips pressed together in a smile. I opened my eyes to look up at Tom, and he was looking down at me with his chocolate brown eyes covered in a glossy sheet. I croaked out, "thank you," and before I knew it, Tom was leaning down to me. I closed my eyes when his lips met mine, and I felt his tear land on my cheek.

He rested back down beside me and said, "you know, whenever I was frightened or felt alone when I was a kid, I would find comfort in the stars. Because they were always there for me. There was one, right by the moon that I always imagined running off to. If you like, I could take you."

"Okay."

"I want you to close your eyes and picture a land you have never seen before," he said. I closed my eyes and focused on his words. "Where you can find guidance and everlasting love. The home of everything you love that's waiting for you. A land where there is only happiness and beauty everywhere you look."

"What do you call this place?" I asked in a soft voice so it didn't hurt my chest.

He waited a beat before he answered, "Tommy-Land."

"Tommy-Land?" I chuckled.

"Yeah," he laughed, followed by a sniff. "Come with me and we will travel in this world of my creation together. What we will see will probably defy explanation. But, living there, you'll be free. Free from all this pain, and fear."

His eyes stayed locked to mine. He lifted my hand up and pressed his lips against the back of it. Then he put my palm against his warm cheek and he said, "I'll miss you forever, like how the stars miss the sun in the morning sky."

"I want you to know, that you have shown me how to love being alive," I told him. "I'll never be too far away. When you close your eyes, and you dream, that's where I will be waiting and we can be together. Just don't forget about me, okay?"

"Never. I will always hold you in my heart. As long as I live, you'll be with me forever," he promised.

"Good. You're also welcome to attend my funeral," I joked to try to lighten the mood.

"Oh, you're inviting me?" He chuckled softly.

"You just can't talk."

"Why?"

"Because my funeral is my time to shine."

"Oh, lord," he laughed.

"I think I've hit almost everything on my bucket list." I closed my eyes.

"You did? What's left?"

"Visiting Vienna, and growing old with you."

"Well, I think we can mark one of those off right now."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I was going to give this to you at lunch." I heard the rustling of papers. I opened my eyes, blinking softly. He held up two plane tickets that contrasted against the beautiful pink petals of the peonies. "I know it's not the moon, but we leave next Saturday."

I sat up so quickly, I almost forgot about my headache. I grabbed the tickets from him and he sat up alongside me. He looked so happy but I was too distracted by holding two-way plane tickets to Vienna.

I held them to my chest and I looked up at Tom. My jaw was to the ground and tears welled in my eyes. "Are you serious?"

He smiled at me and he said, "I can't wait to go with you. We are going to have a beautiful time."

An involuntary squeal escaped my lips and I threw myself onto him. My love for him flows like a river through my soul. I've been so happy loving him. He is a miracle, sent just for me. The love I have for him will live in his heart forever. I can't explain the way I feel when I look at him. He hugged me and we rolled away with our lips locked. I kissed him underneath the peonies.

This became a place that only we knew. As the years go flying by, I hope that he smiles if I ever cross his mind. My whole world begins and ends with Tom.