They didn't go back to school that night and didn't phone in to say why. They ate in silence, and when Cress woke up she went straight to her computer, and from what Scarlet could see she was searching the addresses of the nearest asylums in the area and hacking in to see if Winter was there.

There was nothing.

Scarlet huddled up next to Cress on her bed, watching as she slammed down her laptops lid in frustration.

"I just..." she put her hand to her forehead and gave Scarlet an exasperated look.

"I know," Scarlet said, though she really didn't. She didn't know Winter and had never lost anyone close to her as far as her memory was concerned. All she could think to do was pull Cress in for a hug, and she seemed happy to receive it.

"What do we do now?" Iko asked, resting her head in her hands, she'd been trying to get Cinder to talk after she ran away when they got back to the hotel, but had returned with no luck. Cress was tracking her phone to make sure she didn't wander too far.

"We accept out defeat and go home?" Thorne suggested, scooping up the scraps of noodles left in the silver tins.

"No," Cress protested, "we keep looking."

"And what's wasting our money on the road and you missing school going to help?" he asked, leaving Cress defenceless, so Scarlet hugged her closer as she hid her face from the rest of their group.

"Thorne's right, we should go home tonight," Iko said, and Scarlet pretended she couldn't feel Cress' tears running down her arm.

"Someone needs to find Cinder first," Thorne said, leaning back in a way that suggested it was going to be him.

"I've already tried," Iko said.

"I'll go," Kai offered, getting to his feet and looking over to Scarlet and Cress. The other girl didn't seem intent on moving, so Scarlet did her best to understand what was going on on Cress' screen, and told Kai to the best of her ability where Cinder was.

He left within seconds, and the room was plunged into silence again.

---

Cinder didn't know where she was anymore. She'd been walking for hours, and even now her thoughts hadn't cleared.

How, HOW could they do something like that to Winter, to Winter Hayle! She was the sweetest, kindest girl anyone could ever know. Just because she didn't think entirely like everyone else didn't mean she needed to be locked away! For god's sake it's not like she was hurting anyone. How could they! How, how, HOW!

"Cinder," she heard someone say. She turned to see Kai behind her, and it was then that she released she'd been ramming her head against a tree, making a complete fool of herself in public. If anyone should be locked away it was her!

"How did you find me?" she asked in a whisper, and Kai had moved close enough by then to hear.

"I could hear your stomach rumbling from the hotel," he said, leaning against the tree she'd been attacking with her forehead.

"I'm not hungry," she lied.

"Yes you are," Kai argued, taking her hand, "and it's getting cold, you should come back to the hotel soon, we're going back to school later."

Cinder sighed and leaned against him, surprised at how she un-awkward it was. God, she barely knew this boy, but he was still here, helping her through it all, by her side when she'd gotten herself in such a state. Iko had tried to get her to return earlier, but she was still too upset, though her presence helped. She and Cress were the only ones besides Cinder who knew how this felt and she'd pushed them away when they were upset too, what sort of a friend was she?

Kai held her close as she breathed deeply, trying to calm herself, and eventually she was able to pull away without her head spinning. She took Kai's hand and tentatively kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for coming for me, I mean, for coming here with us, for ditching school and all."

He snapped his fingers and gave a frustrated shrug of his head, "missing double biology really is putting me down." Cinder laughed and shoved him.

"Your attempts to out-sarcasm me are becoming stronger."

He shrugged, "I'm brilliant, I know."

"Now that is the most sarcastic thing you've ever said," Cinder said, receiving a shove back from Kai.

---

Eventually they returned to the hotel to find the rest of the group waiting for them, bags in hands, already on their way back to the car.

It was quiet on the way back, but Cinder stayed close to Kai, and although Scarlet was back on her phone she wasn't giggling this time.

Iko got in the boot with Cress and Scarlet claimed the passenger seat though she denied Thorne's claims that she loved him.

It was past midnight when Thorne dropped them off back at school, but they didn't go back to their rooms, and when Thorne realised they didn't intend to he sat with them on the dark field, keeping the tight circle they'd formed to keep themselves warm together.

"What are we going to do now?" Scarlet asked finally, breaking the silence that was laying thick around them.

Thorne answered "You should probably sleep, you've all got classes tomorrow and..."

"I mean about Winter," she interrupted.

"I can keep looking online," Cress suggested.

"And I can ask around my family," Cinder added.

"Maybe we can go back another day, see if your aunt and uncle will tell us anything," Kai said, glancing across at Cinder.

"Maybe," she whispers, restraining from leaning against him now that they were with the others, she wouldn't let them have something to tease her about when she was already such a mess.

"Does anyone just want to not sleep tonight," Iko broke in with a forced grin.

"The boys can't come in our dorms," Cress pointed out.

"Look, I'll pick you all up after school tomorrow and we'll go out for pizza and make a plan of action, but right now you all need some rest," Thorne said, getting to his feet and smiling to Cinder before waving his goodbye and leaving them alone.

Scarlet and Cress left together, and later – after hugging Cinder one last time – Iko left to. It was only then that Cinder fell against Kai, not caring if it was too early to do that. She felt his chin on her head, and was glad for the extra warmth and his arms curling around her.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this," she whispered, letting the scent of him seep into her nose, savouring the feel of his hands on her back. If it wasn't for Kai she was sure she would have gone after Thorne by now, gone as far with him as it took to block out thoughts of Winter, but with Kai she didn't need kisses and she didn't need to forget, just him being her, having gone after Winter with her was more than enough.

"I don't mind," he said, taking her hand in his pressing it against his warm cheek.

"You can leave me if you want, you don't need to get in a mess too just because you're being polite," she said.

He pulled back, and then she knew it – he was listening to her, even though she'd only said it because she didn't want him to seem pressured, and she knew he was too dorky to leave on his own accord, but she didn't expect him to listen.

But he didn't leave, holding her at arm's length instead.

"I'm not leaving you, I mean, I didn't know Winter well, but she was a good person from what I know and I want to help, if not for her then for you." He pulled her into a hug again, and she would have been perfectly happy to stay wrapped in his arms for the rest of the night.

---

A/N: yes this chapter was names after a panic! at the disco song

I don't know what to name it and that's just what I'm listening to

Again with the sad chapters but you got kaider so who really cares?

QOTD (because I don't have anything to say right now): if all your books were going to be burned besides one which would you save?