I glance across the flickering fire at your face. The flames dance around emitting an earthly glow that appears haunting against the dark summer night sky. The cheery voices, laughing and joking fade into the background as I watch you turn around and meet my eyes across the amber flames. I look at you, taking in every line and angle. The way your mouth curves upwards into a warm smile. The fire lights up your handsome features and makes you glow like an angelic being. I break eye contact and stare at my hands. My heart thumping wildly in my chest. I have been waiting for this moment for a long time. 

 I wring my hands in my lap and dare myself to glance up at you.  Once again my eyes meet yours and warmth spreads through my body at the thought that perhaps you had not stopped looking at me. My heart leaps to my throat when I see the corners of your mouth turn up in amusement at my surprise. I reach up and tuck a loose strand or hair behind my ear. It stubbornly falls back to my cheek, bouncing slightly. You cock your head, surveying me in amusement. I shrink backwards wondering what you see through the flames. Do I look as beautiful to you as you look to me? My mind turns in an endless cycle of questions. The smile, the amused look, the cock of your head, what does it all mean? Do you feel the same nervous energy when we meet eyes across the blazing fire? The same flicker of hope? 

In the dark night I notice your long eyelashes casting shadows across your cheek. I notice the way your eyes seem to flicker and change different colors in the firelight like a kaleidoscope. One moment they look brown, the next I notice amber and green undertones. Sometimes it seems as though there are gold flecks in your irises. Just looking at them makes me feel lost in the vastness of their beauty. 

I softly brush a hand across my mouth wondering what it would feel like to have your lips pressed against mine. I stare at you in horror as you mimic my movements. Passing your thumb over your bottom lip, then your top. My eyes widen as you raise an eyebrow at me. I cringe then laugh at the hilarity of our conversation, separated only by a hot barrier of fire. 

I continue to watch as you raise your hand and drag it through your light brown hair. It almost reminds me of an ashen caramel color. You let go and it flops across your forehead like a rolling wave. You break eye contact and look down placing both hands on your knees. It looks as if you are trying to make up your mind about something. I squeeze my eyes shut unable to look at you. When I open them again to stare across the fire you are no longer there.

 My heart sinks as I realize you truly do not care about me in that way. I slump resting my elbows onto my bear legs and cradling my face in between my hands. Then I hear it. A soft voice whispering my name.