tw: suicide, anxiety attack

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Wooyoung isn't ready for the night to end. This is one of those nights where he's free for the time being, and while he usually spends them in bed as he tries to catch up on some much needed sleep, Wooyoung isn't tired now.

He wants to savour this moment, wants to imprint it in his mind and soul before his responsibilities and reality can have the chance to take it from him.

San's taking a walk with him through the Dazzling Lights public park, and Wooyoung almost can't believe the man agreed to spend a little more of his time with him.

Wooyoung's sure San has places to be -- even people to see -- so he appreciates this moment all the more, a fuzzy type of warmth toasting him from within.

The area's lit with soft orange lamps, giving the park an unreal, dreamy atmosphere. Wooyoung casts a brief look San's way, the taller man silent for the most part. His eyes are hidden under his black cap, and Wooyoung can't help but linger on his right cheekbone, wondering if the man's sporting something akin to a birthmark.

San catches him in no time, and Wooyoung's entire neck flushes with heat. San's expression remains neutral, but Wooyoung can see the way his jaw hardens. "What?"

"Nothing," Wooyoung lies. He's brimming with curiosity, but there's something about San's tone that makes him want to thread lightly. And the last thing he wants is to upset San after managing to get a cordial conversation going.

San is quiet, and Wooyoung gets anxious. And when he's anxious, he says the dumbest, most absurd things.

"Can I get your number?" He blurts, and fuck, the way San stiffens at his request makes Wooyoung want to dig a hole twenty feet underground and die there.

"I mean -- " Wooyoung rushes to explain himself, "I can give you my number -- that is if you want it. So you don't have to text back if you don't wanna. No pressure." Wooyoung's heartbeat is racing, pounding in his ears so loudly it's all he can hear.

He kicks at nothing, hating how much of a mess he is when it comes to San.

"Why are you giving me your number?"

Wooyoung almost doesn't hear San through his disaster of a mind. "What? I um, I just felt like it. I mean I'm not forcing you message me or anything." He runs his fingers through his air, his pulse wild underneath San's unrelenting stare. "So can I, um, yeah."

Fuck, why am I like this?

San takes a little too long to reply, and Wooyoung thinks there's a chance the taller likes fucking with him, a chance that he knows how crazy Wooyoung's thoughts gets whenever he's concerned.

At last, San passes him his phone. Wooyoung thinks he's dreaming at first, but the cool device in his palm is certainly real. "Fuck," he mutters, then realizes he just spoke out loud. "Shit. Sorry."

Wooyoung wills his hands to stop shaking as he types his number into San's phone, saving his contact name under a simple 'Wooyoung :)'. He's usually way more smooth with the person he likes, but San's intriguing and fascinating in a way that makes Wooyoung forget how to behave.

"I uh, I added my number," Wooyoung says, as if San hadn't seen him do just that.

San only nods as he takes back his phone. Wooyoung wants the man to look at him.

"I know I said no pressure, but I'm kinda hoping you'll send something," Wooyoung rambles like he constantly does when he doesn't know what to do with himself. Without his suit and zias, he's a hot mess.

San pulls his cap lower, and if Wooyoung doesn't know better, he'd have assumed the man got a little shy. "Okay."

San doesn't confirm nor deny anything, but it doesn't stop Wooyoung from grinning broadly.

"Awesome," he beams, playfully punching San's arm. San doesn't budge, but his lips twitch as he fixes his cap again, almost...flustered? "Thank you, San. I'll look forward to it."

Before San can get a word in, Wooyoung's phone rings in his pocket. He grabs it, mood dampening when he sees HONGJOONG🐿 on the screen. Instinctively, he's heading for the nearest empty oak tree, wanting to prepare himself in case the representative assistant has word on another mission again.

"Yes, hyung," Wooyoung states as soon as he picks up.

"Woah. Someone's pissed," Hongjoong replies, voices in the background like static. Wooyoung doesn't have to be in the room with him to know he's binging some show again. For someone who loves sleep so much, he sure doesn't make enough time for it.

"Is there another mission?" Wooyoung questions, on-edge because he just realized he left San alone without so much of an explanation. He looks ahead and notices San is still there beside they fountain they stopped at, his hands in his pockets.

Wooyoung doesn't want him to leave.

"No."

"Then why'd you call?" Wooyoung's reply is instantaneous.

"It's past 7PM, and you disengaged the locations setting again," Hongjoong answers just as quickly, far too used to the minor arguments they partake in from time to time. "So I had to call to get your bearings, make sure you're safe."

They've had this sort of conversation before, but tonight it irks Wooyoung more than usually does. "I said I was gonna take a break."

"I know."

"And that's what I'm doing right now, hyung," Wooyoung continues, voice strained. "I just want to be left alone for one moment and be allowed to show up whenever."

Hongjoong sighs over the receiver. "I know, Wooyoung. And you're more than allowed to take a break -- In fact, you have to. I'm not stopping you. I just have to always know where you are, that's the rule."

"Fuck that."

Hongjoong exhales deeply, frustrated. "Wooyoung, let's not do this tonight."

"Just let me hang out with a friend like a normal person for once tonight," Wooyoung insists. "I have powers, I can protect myself just fine."

"I know you can, Wooyoung." Hongjoong pauses. "But it's protocol; it's what's required of me. You're The Golden Clover, so it's absolutely necessary that you're monitored without rest."

Wooyoung clenches his fists, ready to argue with the man again until a message pops across his screen.

- UNKNOWN
i need to go wooyoung

- UNKNOWN
goodnight

Wooyoung's eyes dart across the park right then, shifting over a few unfamiliar, unimportant faces before he grasps that once again, San has managed to slip through his fingers unnoticed. The hero's heart plunges, throat excrutiatingly tight like he's just swallowed sandpaper.

"Wooyoung?" Hongjoong's voice enters through one ear and out the other.

CHANGE 'UNKNOWN' TO 'SAN🤍✨️'?
YES | NO

"Earth to Wooyoung."

"You're dead to me," Wooyoung utters.

"Ha ha, very funny."

Wooyoung observes San's new contact name for a hot minute, overcome with emotion that's nauseasting yet exciting. It feels right. "No, I'm serious. You might not know this, but you just ruined something important."

"As far as I know, I didn't cock-block anything, so I'm in the clear," Hongjoong asserts, and just like that, the tension between them slowly eases.

"You cock-blocked my chances at having a more serious conversation," Wooyoung states. He's looking over San's texts again, not wanting to miss the moment the other man decides on messaging him again.

"You met someone?"

"We're just friends."

Hongjoong scoffs. "Sure."

"Fuck off." With that Wooyoung hangs up, now entirely focused on what he should reply San back with. He really wants to keep talking with the latter, but has no idea what to say without coming off as a massive moron.

Eventually, he settles on something.

- WOOYOUNG
um yeah i'm really sorry for leaving so unexpectedly
i got a call i had to answer

- WOOYOUNG
anyway thanks for letting me know
and goodnight to you too!

- WOOYOUNG
bye :))

"Alright that's enough," Wooyoung scolds himself before he sends something he regrets.

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It's Thursday, two days since San last spoke to him, but Wooyoung tries not to ponder too much on it for his sanity. Despite his hero suit's infallible thermal system, the glacial night breeze nearly freezes his cheeks and scalp whole, something that further decimates his mood. Even the roof he's perched on seems quite slippery, and while Wooyoung is too in control of his zias to trip, he's still cautious.

He clicks his wrist gadget, ducking his head to speak. "Now available at Cyber square."

Hongjoong's voice is soon heard through the audio setting. "There's currently a wild goose chase two streets over. It's a speeding BMW. Sending in the license number... now."

The hologram of the car's a bit hazy but Wooyoung can work with it, on his feet in a matter of seconds.

He jumps onto another building before realizing he isn't alone. Taehyun and Yeonjun, two heroes he's embarked on missions with before quickly fall into step beside him. Police sirens pierce through the nightlife.

"You got the description too, right?" Taehyun asks Wooyoung, easily keeping up with the hero due to his speed zia. At Wooyoung's nod, they both jump into the neighbouring street, the air thick with danger. "If it keeps heading right it'd collide straight into Horizon Nightclub."

Horizon Nightclub is the one club in Utopion that's always open late into the night, up until the early hours of the morning, so it's a no-brainer that the BMW is on a task to cause some serious, life-threatening damages.

"We need to evacuate them from the premises," Wooyoung yells.

Yeonjun gestures at them from below, his maroon suit blending with the shadows. "On it!" He disperses into dozens of himself right then, each one sprinting into several directions.

Wooyoung spots the large BMW soon enough, the black vehicle wreaking havoc on the streets as it slams into anything and everything in its way.

Wooyoung leaps for the car the same time as Taehyun does, but it sharply swerves to the left as if the driver could read their mind.

Hongjoong's voice is rigid when he exclaims, "There's a little girl in there!" as soon as Wooyoung flies over the street.

Wooyoung feels his heart racing as blood rushes to his head. He has dealt with a lot of criminals in the past, but the worst of the worst are the ones who willingly put children in danger.

Wooyoung immediately psych-connects to Taehyun. "A little girl," he begins, voice rough. "A little girl's in the car!"

Taehyun quickly gets him, bolting for the BMW's doors only for stray bullets to start firing at him.

The man driving the car is armed, which makes this situation all the more dire.

Taehyun dives for the doors once more just to get shot at, and Wooyoung plummets in front of the vehicle, ready to stop it.

The BMW goes faster, as if fully intending on crashing into Wooyoung. The driver's eyes are blank, hands stapled to the wheel.

"Get the girl!" Wooyoung exclaims as he extends his arms. Taehyun's tearing open the doorway and grabbing onto a child that looks no older than five years of age when hot metal smashes into Wooyoung's palms, folding and twisting like paper.

The impact nearly brings Wooyoung to his knees, but he retains his resolve, boots crunching and tearing the asphalt road in two. The car recoils, rolling to its side.

Glass shatters, the little girl wails, people gasp in shock. The acrid burn of crumpled metal poisons the air as Wooyoung rushes for the car in search of the driver.

The man crawls out on his knees before Wooyoung can get to him, blood caking the side of his face and fingers clenched around his gun. His eyes are trained entirely on Wooyoung, soulless and robotic.

"Please drop that, sir," Wooyoung pleads, chilled by the disturbing finality of the man's expression. "Please drop the gun -- "

Screams flood the atmosphere as the man promptly points the gun to his head and blows his brains out.

Wooyoung stiffens where he stands, unable to look anywhere else but at the pool of blood splattered over the road beside the man's head. His heartbeat stills, surroundings slowing down as if he's going in reverse.

People are talking, shouting, looking at him, but Wooyoung can't fucking move.

He trembles, unable to breathe just as someone -- Hongjoong, probably -- touches him and covers him with something. His eyes are blown wide when he sees his reflection on the decimated car's window, thick blood staining his suit and mask like paint.

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Hongjoong works lightning-fast to disengage Wooyoung's bloodied suit in the lair. The hero is still stunned to his core, his mind replaying the gruesome scene over and over.

"Stop thinking about it. It'll only make things worse," Hongjoong commands Wooyoung but his advice falls on deaf ears.

"He shot himself in front of me," Wooyoung says, hollow on the inside. Hongjoong removes his mask, wipes the dried blood off his chin. "He looked me in the eye and shot himself."

"It's not your fault," the older assures. His tone is curt and shoulders stiff, and Wooyoung knows he's bothered too by the way this mission ended. "I'm activating the sauna."

The sauna works the best at ridding Wooyoung of all the dirt and grime he obtains from harder missions, but even as Wooyoung rests within the fluorescent tube and breathes in its tepid mist, he isn't sure he can ever clense himself of what he just saw tonight.

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HERO.SPHERE NEWS, where you get the latest and juiciest news about all your favourite superheroes!

Goodnight everyone, and welcome to Hero.Sphere news.

The citizens of Utopion are in total shock over the events that transpired earlier tonight. Several videos show beloved hero The Golden Clover appearing quite shaken up and drenched in blood after the man he'd stopped in a car chase ended his own life right in front of him.

It's something no one ever saw coming, and petitions are being raised demanding the Headquarters -- the superhero masterminds -- to tighten security and renew the safety measures for their favourite heroes --

San can't take it anymore. He rushes past a befuddled Mingi and into his room, scouring through his drawers for his phone.

This is stupid. Jung Wooyoung's problems are none of your business, the cynical voice in San's head spits, and while San knows it's right, knows he can't risk seeming suspicious and blowing his cover, it doesn't stop him from scrolling through his few contacts for Wooyoung's name.

He chews his thumb nail as he types something out.

- SAN
i know it's very late right now, but i just wanted to check up on you

- SAN
sorry i took some time to message you back
i got busy and|

San backspaces until there's nothing left of his second text.

- SAN
how are you doing
are you okay?

San inhales harshly, jaw clenched when the image of a bloody Wooyoung invades his brain for the second time. He almost can't breathe, and has to force himself to relax before he has the chance to dry heave. Fuck.

San doesn't care, but he can't get Wooyoung's horrified expression off his mind.

Please be okay.

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a/n: san isn't fooling anyone lol
thoughts on this chap?