After we had parted that day without saying anything of relevance to each other except remarking about the food, Lila suggested that all three of us meet again in another café next street over the weekend. She had asked that as suddenly as light rain showers on us on a sunny day and I had no time to think, but nod at her. Later, I had four days to mull over this upcoming meeting and after screaming into pillows and crumpling pages of books, I tore my heart out of my body and had no feeling left.

I could have cancelled or refused to go without a word to her as she had left me, but what was I afraid of? I was with Dev now and nothing could stir those old emotions in me. For past friendship's sake, she owed me some answers that had wrung my soul for hours, days, nights, weeks, months even! Besides, Anthony would be there with us. Not that I was afraid anything would happen between us again, it was all over.

So with that feeling of having no feeling within, I sat on the little chair in the café with the aroma of hot chocolate wafting in the air around me.

In ten minutes, a flurry of white and frizz settled herself opposite to me. "Hey! Sorry, I'm late---"

"Something to do with your driving again?" I said bitterly, hoping she would understand how ridiculous it was for her to talk to me about such trivial things.

"How did you know?" Her eyes that momentarily met mine were full of surprise and I fought the urge to snort at her forgetfulness. Today, she was dressed in a plain white, summer dress that flared from her waist which would have looked like a petticoat unless the wearer was Lila. Round, black sunglasses with golden rims were perched on top of her head like a hairband. She took no notice of anything around her, not even me, her eyes trailing the words on the menu as if she was on a food inspection duty.

"When is Anthony going to come?" I asked her and abruptly, she dropped the menu and the round way in which her mouth opened made me realize what she was going to say.

"I forgot to tell you! He's not going to come."

"Why?"

"He didn't really tell me."

"Isn't he your boyfriend?"

She merely smiled at that, neither affirming nor denying it, making me want to wipe that smile off her face. Why was she being mysterious? For no reason at all?

"Let's try their pizza!" She pointed at the menu, but not eliciting a single response from me. That was when she kicked me, swift and playful, startling me. "Which pizza do you want? Let's eat the chicken one or how about this one? Have you tried this one? Oh no, ew, it has olives!" Her nose scrunched up and when I anticipated another kick, I tucked my feet behind my chair. The waiter arrived, but Lila was still eyeing the menu. I plucked it from her hands, forcing her to pick whichever she last remembered.

Minutes after the waiter left and Lila still hadn't broached the topic about important matters, I seized it in my own hands and blurted out, "Why are you here?" She looked like I had cracked a joke that she had failed to grasp, a queer mingling of humour and bewilderment. "I mean, why did you come back? You still have semesters to graduate and now is not summer in the US."

"I didn't tell you?" Again, she was so full of surprise that I suspected her to have dementia. As soon as possible, I wanted to get this over with and go home and never meet her again. "I left college! I teach French to nursery kiddies and they're so adorable! Ils sont très mignons et amusants!"

"You dropped out? And you teach children now?" I imagined her surrounded by children, a child herself and wondered if the teaching went both ways. "Why? Why did you drop out?"

A sheepish smile that turned her face pink revealed the truth, "Botany was just tooooooo difficult!"

"And why didn't you call me? Or message me once?" I was out with it, however, the waiter came right then and placed a gigantic glass of fizzy drink in front of Lila.

"Your complimentary drink, ma'am."

I reached across the table and grabbed the cold glass. "No!" Both the waiter and Lila's widened eyes flashed towards me and I looked at the waiter, explaining, "She shouldn't drink fizzy drinks. It goes in her nose and she won't stop laughing about it for the next hour . . ."

My voice grew fainter and fainter at those last words to which the waiter just smiled and left (I didn't dare to look at Lila).

"So---"

"How are our friends from school?" Lila interrupted and I watched her hands, pink fingers folding tissue papers in the shape of a crooked aeroplane.

"I don't talk with anyone, except Jazz. She's good."

"Oh, Jazzie!" She had never called Jazz that, in fact, I never remembered her referring to Jazz even once in her lifetime. "I know what some are up to. . ." Then she continued pouring buckets after buckets of details about people whom I didn't know went to the same school like ours and that made me want to sip the freezing, cold drink, to harden my heart against her incessant talking to all these people in these three years, but never me. "And do you know what Raul is up to?" She leaned over the table till she was half-lying on top of it with the table crushing her breasts and her hair tickling my face. Then she whispered excitedly, a whisper that ran as fast as light, "He's hooking up with some married girl."

"Why. . ." I struggled to find words that were appropriate since my thoughts were skipping over all boundaries of propriety. The distance that closed between us didn't help me either and I couldn't look her in the eyes. "Why are you telling me this? Why did you talk to him after you went away and never me?"

Her shadow looming over me disappeared as she slumped back. "We have met after sooooo long---"

"And that's why it's important that you tell me what happened."

"Nothing happened, dummy!" She burst out, half-laughing and I looked up to see what was going on with her. There was a liveliness to her face that was more feigned than real. I had seen that look before, once when we had sat on the embankment of Marine Drive and she had briefly confessed about her parents' divorce. She was trying hard to bury something that I was trying my best to dig out.

I asked, "How is your mother?"

There it was, the first signs of discomfort that for a second, I almost felt bad for interrogating her like this. Her fingers began fiddling with the aeroplane, her sweat softening the paper. She was still smiling, but this one was small and constantly twitching, so scared and small she appeared that I nearly took her hands in mine, but stopped myself halfway across the table.

"Did she send you away?" I asked in a gentler voice and after a long minute, she nodded the slightest. It was so slight that if I hadn't paid such close attention, I would mistake it for the wind swaying her hair. "Why didn't you fight back?" The moment I said those words, I regretted them. I could see the answer reflect on the smallness of her face, she couldn't. Her mother was her best friend, she would have least expected her to be so cruel. "Why didn't you text me? I was waiting for you---" I checked myself then, clearing my throat. There was no use venturing into old emotions and getting entangled in their roots. I had moved on now, I loved someone else.

Food arrived then and Lila nibbled at it like a squirrel while I didn't touch mine. I watched her eat in silence, noticing for the first time since she had come back, how thin she had grown. There was no speck of makeup or anything to make her look more beautiful- her mother's touch- was all absent. "Do you live with your parents?"

She swallowed, after that one big, lumpy swallow, she was back with the smug smile. "I live in my own apartment now!"

I was about to ask her how she afforded it, then understanding that it was most likely still her parents' money since a French teacher wouldn't make a lot, I said, "That's nice." Yet I didn't like the idea of her living alone because of the love that we once had shared, now she was cast away by her own family. Or maybe, it was the other way around. That didn't change a lot of things either. "How is it living alone? Do you miss your mother?"

"No," she said, taking a larger bite of the pizza and swinging her legs. "They divorced last year."

"They? Oh, you mean your parents. . ." Pavitra's face flashed before me and I took a long gulp of the fizzy drink, finishing it. "If you're done with your food, let's leave."

She wasn't done, but she took my cue and with half a slice hanging from her mouth, she got up and both of us slapped our money on the table, exiting the café. Due to my taller height, I could take longer strides than her and she tried her best to keep up with me. I didn't know where I was heading, but the second I felt her hand reaching mine, I halted promptly.

"We should meet again next week!" She said, her hand holding mine, soft and warm.

"I don't think we should," I murmured, pulling away my hand. "Let's never see each other ever again. I got my answers and you, well, you don't care about them anyway. Besides, you have a boyfriend and so do I."

A teasing smile spread across her lips. "You hid that from me all this while!"

"I didn't hide anything. You never asked."

"Anthony's not my boyfriend, we just went on one date! And even on that date, he kept talking about our holidays in Tarkarli and you---"

"That's bad, isn't it?" I sneered, startling her. "But what can I do about that? I love my boyfriend a lot and we have been dating for two years."

"I saw you both last Diwali! He was cute!"

I couldn't believe my ears. "What? You saw us? When? You were here since last Diwali and you didn't think of visiting me once?! I met you only because I bumped into Anthony that day. . ."

"But you have a boyfriend, don't you?" She mocked, imitating my voice and she began grinning so widely that I turned away, no longer able to bear that triumphant look.

"Bye." I left, crossing the street and marching back home with waves of emotions crashing over me and breaking the stony surface, over and over again.

* * *

A/N :

I have to ask this-

TEAM DEV or TEAM LILA?

(Tap on the little star if you're liking this story :))