The three women were stunned into silence.

Her mother had frozen mid-swing, just as Ju Li had frozen in the midst of flinging her arms up to protect herself from the brunt of it.

"How can this be," said Xiao Li, breaking the silence that had spanned several minutes, "How does she know the emperor? Or yet still, how does he know of her?"

All eyes darted over to Ju Li, waiting for an answer that would never come. She had not once seen the emperor. Rumors had passed about of what he looked like, but many of the artisans and merchants within the market had never seen him either. His visage was reserved for high ranking noblemen and visiting parties from the foreign lands. That he would know of a girl of her status was impossible, and yet...

Ju Li's arms dropped, loose like boiled noodles. Her legs felt like jelly and she struggled to stand. How could this be? It would have meant that the emperor had been watching her, or perhaps having her watched. But why would she be chosen to be an imperial consort? Most of the concubines, as rumors often went, were second and third daughters of foreign visitors that could not be wed elsewhere. Ju Li did not meet either of the two qualifications: she was first born, and lower than nobility.

When her legs could hold her no longer, she dropped down to the ground. The rest of the family followed suit, plopping down in the dirt as roughly as she had. She had all but forgotten that this would be as much a shock to them as it was to her. So thoroughly convinced had they all been of the worst, and the possible best came of it.

However, she could not overcome the thought that there had to be a mistake. Perhaps they had gotten the wrong girl, mistaken her for someone else. Maybe it was simply a cruel joke being played on her by someone she must have angered. The possibilities of the worst began to pile up in her head, and she had to shake herself to clear her mind.

There surely had to be an explanation for what it was that was happening. They could all be sharing the same dream, or maybe it was just Ju Li dreaming. She could be fantasizing about having a future outside of being forced to marry. Until she realized that she was simply going to be entered into another form of marriage.

Was this something she could reject? Or perhaps there simply was no choice in this matter.

Brows furrowed, she got to her feet and left her family as they began to regain their senses enough to celebrate their good fortune. But what if this wasn't good fortune? She considered proposing this idea to her family, but thought better of it; they looked too happy. Blinded by their joy, she was able to slip away from them.

Once alone in her room, she began to lay out the past events. Perhaps she could find a time that she may have encountered the emperor or one of his many court officials he employed. She scarcely wandered farther than the market, which just barely kissed the outer walls of the palace's great city. It was there that most of the wealthy citizens lived and played to their fullest.

Perhaps someone had been instructed to watch her from atop the walls. It wouldn't be an unlikely thing, seeing as there were guards placed there. How they would see her, though, was the problem. They would only be able to spectate from a distance, and thus would have seen no more than a speck on the ground from where they were. It meant that it had to be someone much closer.

She tried to think of all she had been in contact with in the past few days. Her customers first came to mind, smiles and grumbles intermingling in her mind as she attempted to recall each face. They were a blur of features meshed together, no distinction to be made. But if the emperor wanted someone to watch her, wouldn't he want someone inconspicuous? Someone that she would not expect would have been the prime suspect.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her father peering into her room, his once jovial expression clouded with worry.

"Ju Li," he tested, voice tentative and careful.

"Yes, Father?"

"Are you alright?"

"I am, Father."

"This must be a great shock."

"It is."

"But..."

He paused for a moment, then stepped into the room and sat down opposite her. The worry on his face intensified, brows furrowed and his features pulling themselves inward toward his nose. He seemed to be thinking upon the words he would speak to her, shaking his head every second or so if they didn't sound right in his head.

"Ju Li, I," he began, then stopped. He shook his head once more and tried again.

"Ju Li, I knew about it," he blurted out, his words a jumble.

"Knew about what, Father," she questioned, drawing closer to him.

"I knew about the emperor before the letter came," he replied, hanging his head, "It was from that boy, the one your sister spoke of. His name, it was--"

"Xiao Yu," she finished, "Xiao Yu told you about my invitation?"

"Yes, he did, but he said I should keep it a secret," he stated, "That the emperor wished for it to be a surprise."

"But what about the talk with Mother? About my being married?"

"She doesn't know," he said, "I thought she would get too worked up. It is not good for her health and the baby."

At times, it was hard to remember that her mother was pregnant. The woman moved about as if it were any other day and not one where she was carrying a child. Her father sighed, and it was then that Ju Li noticed how grey his hair had gotten. The once full head of black hair was no longer peppered with the silvery strands of aging, but a good portion of them overtook his head. She wondered why she had never noticed this until now, after he had confessed what must have been a heavy secret for him to keep. His love of talk was likely suffering from it.

Ju Li let out a sigh of her own. The fact that he had been so burdened by this secret he carried meant enough to her. A smile touched her lips, and she reached out her hand to lay it on top of his. He lifted his head to look up her and gave his own smile seeing hers.

"It is not you I should be upset with," Ju Li stated, "but with Xiao Yu."

"But he was instructed not to tell you," her father protested.

"But he behaved as though he was fond of me."

"What if he is?"

"What if he is not?"

The conversation seemed to end with that question, fading away. Ju Li didn't continue it, as much as her father didn't. The mix of emotions she felt at that moment would not allow it. Why should she have been upset? Why should she not have been upset? Finding the answers to the questions that loomed in her mind were only easy in theory.

"What will you wear to see the emperor," came her mother's voice from the doorway.

"I do not know," was her reply.

Her mother threw up her hands in exasperation.

"It says that he wishes to see her within a week," her father pointed out, "There is plenty of time."

"Plenty of time? Plenty of time? All her fine clothes no longer fit her or are out of style," her mother retorted, "She will need to buy new clothes."

"Then there is still plenty of time."

"No, there is not!"

Her mother flew then into berating her father. Ju Li watched for a moment as he tried to placate her to no avail before leaving the room.

She hadn't thought of having to meet with the emperor. She hadn't even thought of what she would wear. Everything came tumbling down upon her, a sea of burdens placed within her hands. Ju Li could hardly catch her breath as she stumbled into the garden, mentally staring into the depths of her fate.

The first thought to come up for air was that she might never see her family again if she accepted the invitation.

The week passed by in a daze of people and colors, a blur of nothing and everything.

Ju Li could hardly think straight within the time, her mind a halting thing of anxiety and distress. She relayed none of her thoughts to her family. They had taken to busying themselves with the affairs of her journey to the palace. Her mother had come close to forbidding her from going to the stall, but she mustered enough lucidity to protest.

She had not seen Xiao Yu within that time, and she wasn't sure she had wanted to see him. He had said he was a scholar of some sort, but he was something much more. Perhaps his treachery had been from the very start, a harmless façade to mask his true intentions. She would not have been so perturbed by it all if she had not been so thoroughly convinced that she would have been the one to trick him.

Her guilt for having decided on beguiling him into marriage had left her with her father's confession and remained off in the distance. Had she the chance now, she would certainly go through with they had originally planned with little regret or hesitance. She was no more a treacherous rat than he was at this point.

Her bitterness aside, she had more to be concerned with than the presence of a man other than the emperor. Her decision would be finalized upon her visit, but the thought of it alone made her stomach churn and her chest ache. She had not come to any definite answer, and with the date looming, it felt that much more urgent. Ju Li's thoughts were too jumbled for sound reasoning to come up with a concrete answer to the proposal, but she supposed everyone thought they knew the answer.

Leaving her family was inevitable, but the possibility of never being able to see them again was what she feared most. Getting married would have allowed her to visit them at the least, but she had no idea of how life within the harem would work. It was rumored that the concubines never saw their families after being admitted into the harem. It would always boil down to this rumor to her, no other thing blocking her from a choice.

But her choice would be made for her soon enough.

// aaaaaah, what's she gonna do? such a big decision, so little time to make it. please let me know if there is anything that I need to change or if you have any advice on how to improve the story. I really appreciate everyone reading this taking the time to do so ^-^ it really means a lot to me and I hope that you're enjoying the story so far. please vote and comment if you feel the story deserves it. thank you again! cheers, rem.