Yu stared at her for a moment, head tilted to the side.

Ju Li considered repeating her words, but she thought that she ought to give him a moment longer to process her answer. It must not be often that he is told no, but then again, he should have been used to hearing it from her. Perhaps his silence was his shock, his moment of speechless towards what she had said.

As if struck into movement, he crowded into her space with furrowed brows and widened eyes.

"Why," he questioned, "Why do you refuse?"

"Because I wish to stay with my family," she replied, "I would not be able to see them, and they need me. Mother and Father are both aging, and Xiao Li will be married off. It will be a long while before the child Mother bears will able to take care of them. They need me."

And there in the space between her words was the silent thought that had also been part of her decision: she needed them. They were what made sense with the world, as every new change came down upon them. Leaving them would be leaving the security of complacency that she had always known.

"I can take care of them," Yu insisted, "I could have them watched over while you remain here. I can send someone to the stall every day to help your mother and father."

"They will not accept; they are too proud," Ju Li stated, "And what of Xiao Li? She is the one I fear for most. She will be lured in by men who say things so sweet, and then ruined. She needs me to take care of her."

Ju Li's brows furrowed as her thoughts drifted over to her sister, somewhere beyond the walls. The image of the girl left to her own devices on a normal occasion was a disastrous thought, but for her to be alone—without Ju Li to watch out for her—left her stomach churning in protest. Fear coiled around her neck at the mere glimpse of someone strange approaching her with their façade of affection. Beauty was both a woman's strongest weapon and her weakest defense, and Xiao Li had yet to learn this lesson.

It would seem that Yu had no reply to this, no argument to produce. In light of this, Ju Li took it as her moment to back away from him. She allowed a small distance between them, looking upon him for any other passing comments that he could muster.

"Ju Li," he tried weakly, "I can protect your sister."

"Then why not accept her into the harem rather than I," she proposed, "but then you would rob her of her family and leave her with no one who truly cares for her behind these walls."

"I would care," he objected.

"You would not," she retorted, "You would care only that I care. She would be no more than a token for you to use to pay for my interest."

His jaw clenched and she watched his nostrils flare as his tempers did. She was right; he was not used to being told no. His hands, fists at his side, raised slightly and for a moment she thought he would hit her. But then he lowered them again, seeing her flinch back. Eyes cast downwards, shame colored his face as he flushed and took a step back.

"You are right," he sighed, "I would not care. But if it is what you desire to see your sister safe, then I would do it."

"But you would not have me."

She let this sink in, watching his features dropped with his further disappointment. He was but a large boy being told he could not have the toy he wanted. She almost thought he would break out in tears or throw a fit, but instead he turned his back on her. Of course, he would do such a thing. It was easy for him; he had a whole harem of women that would be there when he wanted them.

"Am I dismissed, Shèngshàng?"

"Yes."

And with that answer, she bowed deeply and shuffled backward out the great red doors she had previously wished so urgently to return to.

Her family greeted her with shock, and then outrage. Their words melted away into nothing, simply moving lips with no sound. Was this her own shock? She raised a trembling hand to her ears to check if they might be alright. When nothing felt amiss, Ju Li considered that maybe this was for the best. Their expressions, exaggerations of features into that of disappointment and fear of rebuke, were all that she needed to know what they were saying.

They ceased in trying to convey their emotions, exhausted by the effort. They remained in silence as they were escorted out of the walls of the palace. Each exit brought a new release, things clicking out of place within her. It was not that her decision was wrong; it was that she still felt the sting of being lied to, and then treated like nothing. Because, as she had first thought, she was a replaceable commodity that he would have forgotten when she had given in.

Holding her head high, she tried to ignore the bubbling in her stomach. Her fingers clenched around the edge of her sleeves, as if they would hold her at bay. Twice she considered lowering her skirt to below her bust, and twice she rejected the idea. Her complexion worsened, and the bubbling within her did not subside.

As they arrived at the gates of their home, Ju Li's father helped her out of the cart. She made it all of two steps before she was keeled over and retching profusely. Bile rose into her mouth with each breath she took, a vile taste burning up her throat and tickled her nose. Tears welled up in her eyes as the pain grew worse still as she was left with nothing more to expel from her body.

She barely heard her mother say something about a consequence of her choice, too busy with trying to keep her eyes open. She noted numbly that she might get the clothes they had paid so much for dirty, and could scarcely get out the words. Xiao Li seemed to understand what it was she was saying, and graciously lifted Ju Li's skirt out of the way as her father half-carried her inside.

Perhaps she was hallucinating, perhaps it was a trick of the light. But she could have sworn she'd seen someone at the mouth of the path watching them, silent as a mouse. But then she blinked, and they were gone. She passed it off as something to do with whatever was wrong with her, and thought no more of it.

The hours passed in a haze of sickness. She woke sticky, slick with her own sweat under her blanket. A warm cloth was replaced with a fresh one as she dozed off once, her breaths raspy and weak.

When she regained a more strengthened consciousness, she decided that this illness was simply a misfortune placed upon her by the gods. She had rejected her ruler, the one that they had mandated to be in power. In turn, it meant she had rejected them and that they were simply showing her what they were capable of. But her mind was made up.

She would show them just how capable she was of being stubborn.

// who's that creeping in the window? and what does Ju Li know about being lured into traps? here's another strange chapter coming to you a midnight. thank you guys so much for reading this far; I really appreciate it ^-^ please feel free to leave feedback of any kind, and vote if you think the chapter deserves it. cheers, rem.