Chapter 19: I like Cooler Vander

JAJA

This is nice.

Nakaupo kami sa sofa, with Cooler's arm draped around my shoulders, gently pulling me closer to him. Nakasandal ako sa dibdib niya, feeling the warmth of his body against mine.

Heto na naman kami. Anong closure ba kailangan namin para matauhan kami? I chose option four, remember?

And then he will randomly show up late at night, wanting a taste of my lollipop? Ako namang si marupok ay agad na bibigay. I was now addicted to his kisses like they were a vice.

Naramdaman kong hinalikan niya ang tuktok ng ulo ko, kaya mas lalo ko pang isiniksik ang sarili sa kanya. I absentmindedly played with the hem of his shirt while he gently drew circles on my shoulders.

Ano nga ulit kami?

"Cooler?"

He pressed my hand. "Hmm?"

Ano ba tayo?

Pero wala akong lakas ng loob na itanong iyon. How many times did we decide we should stop this? How many times did we identify as friends? Friends aren't supposed to cuddle like this!

"Baka lumamig na ang pagkaing ni-microwave ko," iyon na lamang ang nasabi ko.

"We can heat it up again."

Napangiti ako. "Yeah, right," sagot ko at pinakinggan na lamang ang tibok ng puso niya. Having his broad chest this close is like a free real estate.

We shared another kiss—a hot kiss, but Cooler kept his hands to himself. He was not taking advantage; he did not make me feel like he wanted to use me. Bago sa akin ang pakiramdam na iyon. I know I am not worth anything, but Cooler kissed me like a very precious thing na kahit minsan ay hindi ko naramdaman kay Jules. He provided warmth and comfort na tila ba nakalilimutan ko ang lahat ng problema sa mundo sa tuwing hawak niya ako.

"Malapit lang itong bahay sa 7 Eleven," kwento ko sa kanya dahil wala akong maisip na sasabihin.

"Do you want anything?" tanong niya. "We can go and buy."

Umiling ako. "Nakabili na ako, ano ka ba. I just like it na malapit lang 'to sa 7 Eleven. Mula high school gusto ko ng tumambay sa 7 Eleven. I would save up my money para makabili ako dati ng Slurpee o di kaya ay sundae."

He kissed the top of my head again. "What were you like in high school?"

Bahagya akong lumayo sa kanya. "Huwag mo ng itanong, nakakahiya! Pasaway akong estudyante."

He pulled me back against his body. "You said before that you auditioned thirteen times for the Sleeping Beauty school play and got the role of the tree?"

"Cooler!" Nahihiyang bulalas ko. Ramdam ko ang pamumula ng pisngi ko, but something tugged at my heart. He remembered something as trivial as that. "Naalala mo pa iyan?"

"Of course," nakangiting sagot niya. "Ayaw ko mang aminin pero nakuha mo ang loob ko nang araw na iyon. We may have started on bad terms, but you actually saved me that day. I closed a deal and saved a face."

"Kasi naman, nakakainis kasi ang matandang iyon. Kung failure ka, eh ano ako?" I asked with a laugh. "Alam mo ba, tuwang-tuwa ako kahit kahoy lang ako sa play. Pinapunta ko sina Nanay at Tatay para manood. Ako kaya ang pinakamagandang kahoy!"

"I agree," seryosong sabi niya.

"Walang etchos?"

He nodded. "Walang etchos."

I giggled before pulling away para maharap siya. "Ikaw, what were you like in high school?"

"I'm homeschooled," sagot niya. "At sa ibang bansa ako nag-college. I also took crash business courses at nagtrabaho ako part-time waiting tables."

"Talaga, nagtrabaho ka?" Paninigurado ko.

"Yup, so I could save up for my brother's gift," sagot niya.

Right, naikwento na niya iyon sa akin dati, and all I heard were things about his brother.

"Tuwang-tuwa ako nang makita kong suot ng kapatid ko ang regalo ko sa kanya, kahit noong umpisa ay ayaw pa niyang tanggapin iyon. Worth it ang hirap sa pagtatrabaho—"

I stopped him by reaching for his cheeks at hinarap siya sa akin. "Cooler, gusto kong makarinig ng kwento tungkol sa'yo, tungkol sa buhay mo. Not your brother Gray, not your cousin Ryu. Sa'yo. I know you care about them so much, at gustong-gusto ko ang kislap ng mga mata mo kapag nagkukuwento ka tungkol sa kanila. Maybe we can talk about them from time to time because you are so adorable when you think of them, pero Cooler, I want to hear stories about you. Iyong ikaw naman, sarili mo naman ang ikuwento mo, please? What were you like back then?"

He stared at me long before looking down and forcing a smile. "Wala namang interesting sa buhay ko."

I raised a brow. "Says who?"

Napatingin siya sa akin na tila ba binabasa niya ang isipan ko. Nang ibinaba niya ulit ang kanyang tingin, pinagsalikop niya ang mga palad namin.

"I... I tried smoking at 13."

Napangiti ako. That was too young! "Did you like it?"

Muli siyang napatingin sa akin, nag-aalangan kung magpapatuloy ba siya sa pagkwento.

He made a face while shaking his head. "I thought it would make me look cool, but it was awful. I nearly choked to death. It  wasn't worth it. I don't understand why some people enjoyed it."

Bahagya akong natawa. "Buti naman."

Ramdam ko pa rin ang pag-aalangan niya, like he was not used to telling stories about himself but he was slowly coming out of his shell. I wanted to know him more. I wanted to know what he was before. I wanted to know what he likes.

He once again pulled me into his chest, one hand caressing my hair gently. "I like cars. They're like my babies."

I hummed a bit. He does look like one who likes cars. He told me all the cars he has. Tuwang-tuwa siya habang nagkukwento ng mga bagay tungkol sa mga sasakyan niya. His eyes sparkled as he told me their names one by one.

Nalaman ko rin na may maliit na peklat siya sa kanyang baba dahil kinagat siya ng tuta ng kapitbahay noong pitong taon pa lamang siya. I also learned that he likes mint chocolate chip ice cream kahit pakiramdam niya ay kumakain siya ng malamig na toothpaste. He likes to have a Doberman or a Belgian Malinois dog, but he's too scared to get one. When he was eighteen, he waxed his underarm as a dare ngunit isang kilikili lamang ang kinaya niya. I learned he has nunchucku skills, but he never held one after getting hit on the crotch twice. He likes trivia questions a lot and takes time reading random facts. His favorite number is 1, dahil iyon ang pinakamabilis isulat. He learned american sign language. His first classic book na natapos niya ay To Kill a Mockingbird. He doesn't understand the game mechanics of UNO cards. He is so good in basketball. He likes his coffee black, no sugar. Number 2 ang paborito niyang number sa electric fan.

We pretty much spent the night on the sofa, talking about a lot of things.

Hearing things about him and his likes, my mind wandered to a certain thing...

I like Cooler Vander.

***

COOLER

"Okay, this is creepy," ang unang sinabi ni Mnemosyne nang pumasok siya sa opisina ko. She stopped halfway, looked at me weirdly before sitting down.

Napangiti ako at umiling. "What's creepy?"

Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. "Ikaw, mag-isa kang nakangiti."

Am I? Damn, Rustia is making me this happy. We ended up cuddling that night, talking about a lot of things which were actually fun. I hope I didn't bore her with my boring life. She was interested in the things about me. I saw how her face listened to every detail of me, asking follow-up questions and all.

And I kept coming over almost every night since then. It's been two weeks. We would have dinner together, eat heated convenience store food, and talk about random things. We would then cuddle on the sofa and sometimes build a fort out of sheets. We also set up a tiny camping tent outside her yard. Hindi ko namalayang napangiti na pala ako nang maalala siya hanggang sa muling magsalita si Mnemosyne.

"Uh? I'm out of here," she said at akmang tatayo ngunit agad ko siyang pinigilan.

"Don't mind me," wika ko. I kept my face straight so she would take me seriously. Agad naman niyang naintindihan iyon at muling umupo. "Got anything on Brusca?"

Mnemosyne handed me the files she had with her. "The man's basically a ghost, pero may ilang bagay akong nakita. And it doesn't make that much sense so I'm sharing the burden."

My forehead creased, unsure of what she was trying to say. Tiningnan ko ang folder na bigay niya. I scanned the pages and looked at the file. It was a comparative ID of the dead "Brusca" and the limited known things about Brusca from the underground. And these details do not match.

The dead Brusca's fingerprints didn't match those of the Brusca who killed a Mexican mafia boss six years ago. The blood types didn't match either. However, some rare footage showed him exactly like the dead Brusca. Some of Mnemosyne's findings could have been manipulated. There were records showing him getting the work done behind shadows, but the buffed Brusca is actually on another country.  If I look at it through our lens, it's a common tactic to avoid suspicion. But there were so many instances that it made me wonder what it all meant.

Napabuga ako ng hangin nang ilapag ko ang folder. "Do you think they were really two different people?"

Mnemosyne shrugged. "It could be, pero ang hindi ko maintindihan ay bakit. Bakit may dalawang Brusca?"

"I can think of a few good reasons," I replied, leaning back in my chair. "One could be that the Brusca we faced was probably a paid actor. He's known for his face and figure as Brusca, the big, scary guy. If you fought him, you'd know he was actually weak. It's hard to believe he was a contract hitman. Maybe the real Brusca is hiding in the shadows, doing all the thinking."

Maging si Mnemosyne ay napaisip sa sinabi ko. Kailangan naming maging maingat. Kung tama ang hinala ko, I have to be ready. Sending the fake Brusca served as a warning.

Biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko kaya agad ko iyong tiningnan.

Rustia:
U coming over tonyt? We can make microwave popcorn 🤤

Napangiti ako. She's so cute and simple. I think the microwave is her most favorite thing yet. She likes the "tiiiinnnggg" sound it makes when the timer runs out. Sa tuwing napapangiti siya ay napapansin ko ang maliliit na dimple sa gilid ng kanyang labi. I will remind myself to buy her a bigger and more advanced microwave soon to make her even happier.

Agad akong nag-reply.

Me:
Yup. I'll bring ice cream.

She responded quickly.

Rustia:
Yaaaayyyyy ice creaaaam. Mint choco chip ice cream?

Me:
No. Vanilla.

Rustia:
But u dont like vanilla

Me:
Yup, but you like it.

Rustia:
🥺🥺🥺🥺

Rustia is very fun to be with. Sa bawat araw ay tila may kung ano sa kanya. Each passing day I find her so very interesting and beautiful. Her beauty lies not in her physical aspect, but in her appreciation of the small wonders of life, like the tiny beep of the microwave, the aroma of coffee, and even a butterfly trapped inside the tent. She's so easy to please and I love how she's always wanting to hear about my day. Of course, I have to omit some parts like a illegal transactions, contrabands, and a few gunfights.

Alam kong hindi niya gusto ang mundo ko. She made it clear from the start so we never talk about it. Kapag napupunta roon ang usapan, agad ko iyong nililihis.

Mnemosyne knocked on the wooden table to get my attention. Agad kong binaba ang cellphone at ibinaling ang atensiyon sa kanya.

"Where are we?"

She stared at me for a long time na para bang may pag-aalala sa kanyang mukha. Wala siyang sinasabi but I know that look.

"Don't give me that look, Steff," nakasimangot na sabi ko. I called Steff, her real name, like I always do kapag personal na bagay ang pinag-uusapan namin. "I can still manage the business."

She forced a smile ngunit naroon pa rin ang pag-aalala sa kanyang mukha. "Who said I'm worried about business? Cooler, alam ko at naniniwala akong kaya mong pamunuan ang negosyo. I'm not worried about it at all."

"So what's it about?" tanong ko.

"I worry about your heart," sinserong sagot niya. "I see you're happy lately pero paano kung..." She paused, worried I wouldn't like what she will say. "...what if you don't end up together?"

"You're thinking ahead too much," sagot ko sa kanya.

She frowned. "I'm just worried you'll end up getting wasted all night again at idadamay mo na naman kami sa paglalasing mo just like when Amber did not choose you."

I laughed when I remembered that time. Sa simula pa lamang ay alam kong kaibigan lang ang tingin ni Amber sa akin, but it was worth taking my shot. At least I didn't regret not trying.

Sumeryoso ang mukha ni Steff. "But I'm really worried about you. Ryu is lucky enough to have a wife who's in the same business kaya maiintidihan ang ginagawa niya. I don't think that's the case with Jaja. She's a kind soul, and definitely not the type who will overlook your criminal records and a few bodies in the yard."

"I have no criminal record," sagot ko. None on the police record, at least.

She rolled her eyes bago tuluyang tumayo. "Just looking out for both of you. Gotta go. I'll update in case there will be progress."

Nang makaalis si Mnemosyne ay hindi ko maiwasang maisip ang sinabi niya. Rustia is definitely a kind soul. She won't stick by my side if she knows what exactly I do. Pero sa ngayon ay masaya ako sa estado namin. If I keep thinking about it, it's like going so far ahead into our future. Sa ngayon ay i-eenjoy ko muna kung ano ang meron kami.

We will just cross the bridge when we get there.

#

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