Chapter 18: cherry

COOLER

I leaned back on the sofa, watching my cousin Ryu stand at the edge of the room, and beside him was his wife, Pi.

It's been days since the closure that Rustia and I agreed upon. She chose the fourth option, something I hate and would definitely throw out the window. But with that option off the table, it's like I haven't given Rustia any choice at all.

Bakit ayaw niya sa option one? I may not be that good at a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, but I could try!

May bahagi ng utak ko na kumontra roon.

Come on, I just took over, and here I am struggling to juggle my time.

Kung sakaling magkagirlfriend man ako, given my situation right now, we are most likely to break up as soon as possible. Girlfriends are needy. They have the right to demand time, to demand attention, to demand affection.

Option two is not bad either. We know the attraction between us is too strong. I don't think Rustia believes in the sanctity of marriage. She's lived with her ex-boyfriend for quite some time, so I don't really think she has issues with physical relationships. But I respect her for saying no. I guess she's not the type who lets non-boyfriends into her pants.

And hey, don't get me started on option three! What's not to love about it? We're both benefiting from it!

"It's been weeks and you now look this old?" tanong ng pinsan ko na pumutol sa malalim kong pag-iisip. I heard a suppressed laughter from the side kung saan nakatayo si Poseidon na nagpipigil ng tawa. He stood straight when I glared at him at ibinalik ang tingin sa pinsan ko. "Have you been eating well, Cooler?"

I nodded with a smile.

"Really? Because you look malnourished right now," he said with a smirk.

"Right," segunda ni Pi. "Where's the Cooler fucking Vander I fell in love with?" Sinamaan siya ng tingin ni Ryu kaya agad niyang binawi ang sinabi. "Rocket is right," she said, referring to her husband. "Pumayat at tumanda ka ng sampung taon, Cooler."

I frowned and stretched on the sofa. "Hey lovebirds, your humor's on peak today."

"Hindi kami nagbibiro," Ryu's voice roared in the corners of the living room.

Napakamot ako sa ulo. "Masyado lamang akong abala pero tatlong beses pa rin naman akong kumakain sa isang araw. I think all the work is eating me whole, but I can still manage."

"You don't look good," patuloy ng pinsan ko. "Is there any chance you know that you being this ugly is why a woman rejected you?"

I gritted my teeth and turned to Poseidon again. Mabilis na umiling siya, silently telling me he had nothing to do with it. Kung hindi si Poseidon, then it must be Mnemosyne or Artemis who told him.

I crossed my arms. "Hindi ako ni-reject."

"Iniwan?" tanong ni Pi.

"We're not even together," I replied snorting.

"Is she blind?" Pi asked. "Because if I am her, I will stick with you!"

"You know it's not bad to have someone," Ryu said and sat on the chair across from me.

"That's so sweet, Rocket!" Masayang wika ni Pi. She leaned forward and kissed her husband in the lips. 

I frowned at them. "Nandito ba kayo para ipangalandakan ang lovelife ninyo?"

Nakangiting naghiwalay ang mga labi nila. "Sorry, where are we?" Ryu asked.

Naapiling ako sa sarili at muling sumandal. "Anything up with the commission right now?"

Ryu showed me his laptop. "Despite you getting all the work done, fifty percent of the men in the commission are still not pleased with you."

I sighed, rubbing my temples. "What now?"

Ano pa nga ba ang bago? It's not like I'm not used to it. But I have to admit it still hurts me. Hindi ko na iyon pinahalata sa pinsan ko. He will worry about me, tell his wife about it, and his wife will suggest we shoot the commission in their faces. Alam kong walang bilib sa akin ang lahat. I am not the trophy son. If I do things right, they are not satisfied; if I mess up a little, it's like I did something unforgivable. Walang room for mistakes pagdating sa akin.

Of course, even if I took over, it's still the commission who's in charge of the major decision-making. Alam kong naghihintay lamang sila na magkamali ako, so they can kick me out and justify it to Cronus.

"They think you're too young, too inexperienced," Ryu continued, his tone serious now. "They don't see the value in your ways, Cooler. They must be blind."

Napangiti ako. I appreciate my cousin's trust in me. He's someone who can go toe to toe with anyone who underestimates me.

"You made more progress in the last few weeks than they did in months," patuloy ng pinsan ko.

"Can we just shoot them in the face?" Pi blurted out seriously.

Hindi naman nag-alangan na sumang-ayon si Ryu. "I agree."

Ugh, sa bawat araw na dumadaan at mas lalo lamang siyang naging katulad ng asawa niya. I guess it's true when they say you become what you eat.

"We can't." I knew pretty well Pi meant it when she says shoot them in the face. Literally. "Sanay na naman ako sa kanila. Ang magagawa ko sa ngayon ay kunin ang loob nila," sagot ko.

Biglang nagtaas ng kamay si Pi. "Question. When you say kukunin mo ang loob nila, does that mean... literally? Like we harvest their organs and debone them?"

"What?! No!" mabilis na sagot ko, massaging  my temple for another headache about to come.

Pi made a face. "Ugh, sayang naman."

Minsan talaga ay hindi ko alam kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip ni Pi.

"I need to win them over, but how do I do that?" I asked, feeling the weight of my own words. Buong buhay ko ay ginawa ko na ang lahat para matuwa sila sa akin- even our own relatives, pero wala. They just see me as the mediocre kid who got lucky.

"Show them you can handle everything," Ryu replied. "Maging ang iyong personal na buhay. A leader needs to be balanced, to be strong. Ipakita mo sa kanila na kaha mong ibalanse ang responsibilidad at personal mong buhay."

I frowned. "You're saying I need to get a girlfriend just to prove a point?"

Ryu smirked. "It's not just about proving a point. It's about showing them you're human, that you can manage relationships and still be in-charge."

"Wala akong panahon na makipagrelasyon," I protested. "I can barely keep up with the work as it is." Really, Cooler because you gave that option to Rustia.

"Ang sabihin mo, tinanggihan ka," Ryu said with a smirk.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Rustia made it clear she's not interested in anything other than friendship with me."

I spend nights thinking what's not to like about me to choose any option from one to three.

Napalabi si Pi. "Aww, you're friendzoned."

Another suppressed laughter from Poseidon at agad ding natahimik nang tiningnan ko nang masama.

Ryu clasped me on the shoulder. "Hindi lamang iyan ang magiging problema mo."
He flipped through the saved documents on his computer. "I also found something useful and maybe a threat. Someone from the commisision met up with the Hunting Dogs."

Nagpanting ang mga tainga ko. Maging si Poseidon ay naging alerto nang marinig ang sabi ni Ryu.

The Hunting Dogs, the name may sound lame, ngunit kinatatakutan ng lahat ang Hunting Dogs. They were a special tactical squad in charge of larger duties, especially sa ibang bansa. They were contract hitmen gathered by the commission for larger operations. Their services were not cheap; it costs a fortune kaya malalaking trabaho lamang ang pinapagawa sa kanila. However, no matter how difficult the job is, the Hunting Dogs can get it done.

"The Hunting Dogs? Sino? At para saan?" nag-aalalang tanong ni Poseidon.

"I'm still not sure, but we must be prepared for the worst," sagot ni Ryu. Their pay is huge and non-negotiable, kaya kung ano man ang gustong ipagawa ng kung sinoman sa commission sa kanila, it must be important and big. I will also keep track of the expenses; who knows, the fee for the Hunting Dogs might be coming from the business."

Poseidon glanced at me, concern evident in his eyes. "Do you think the commission will go through this extent para lamang mapaalis ka sa pamumuno?"

I nodded slowly. "It's possible. Kung ganoon nga, well, I am not surprised. Bringing in the Hunting Dogs means they're planning something big, and it's not going to be in our favor."

Nag-aalalang napatingin sa akin si Pi. "Cooler, you need to be carefu."

I rubbed my temples again, feeling the pressure build up. "I know, Pi. I'll be vigilant. Kailangan ko lang higpitan ang seguridad ko, I'll keep my eyes open kung ano man amg binabalak nila."

"Agreed," Poseidon said. "We'll double the security detail and keep our ears to the ground. If they're planning something, we'll find out."

"Are you sure we can't just shoot them in the nut?" paniniguradong tanong ni Pi.

Umiling ako nang ilang beses. "No."

Pi looked sad hearing my no. Alam kong labis ang pag-aalala niya, and if only it's as simple as shooting people.

"Kung totoo ngang may nakipag-ugnayan sa Hunting Dogs, then this is a big problem, Cooler. The Hunting Dogs aren't deployed for minor tasks. They're brought in for high-stakes operations," nag-aalalang sabi ni Poseidon.

"This could be a trap, o sadyang nililihis lamang tayo ng kung sino man," komento ni Ryu habang tumitipa sa kanyang laptop. "It's not proven true yet, pero kailangan mo pa ring mag-ingat, Cooler."

Tama sila. Kailangan kong maging maingat. Everything is a game of cat and mouse since I took over.

***

Why am I here at this hour?

I shook my head and glanced at my watch. It read 11 PM, and I had downed two shots of liquor— or was it six? Napakaraming bagay ang tumatakbo sa isip ko: the business, ang papalapit na mga transaksiyon, the commission, the Hunting Dogs, and Rustia.

Of all those things, the last one won, and here I am, on her doorstep.

I heard from Poseidon that she had moved from her brother's house. It was in a safe neighborhood, and the rent was cheap considering the comfort of the place. The fact that I pulled the strings to get her a nice place at a "cheap" rate is something I'll take to my grave.

Napangiti ako sa sarili habang Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin sa hawak kong bote ng wine at sa doorbell ng bahay ni Rustia. I know this is a bad idea. A man reeking of alcohol, with a bottle of wine as a housewarming gift at this hour? Totally a bad idea.

I stepped back, deciding to leave, but then I bumped into Rustia. She was as surprised as I was. She wore an oversized hoodie jacket, looking like it was the only thing she had on, and had a lollipop in her mouth. My eyes drifted to the paper bag she held from a well-known convenience store.

Her brows furrowed as she looked me. "C-Cooler?"

I smiled and raised my hand. "Hi."

She pulled the hoodie off her head. "Anong ginagawa mo rito?"

I don't know why exactly I am here. Ang alam ko lamang ay napakaraming tumatakbo sa utak ko. I had a lot of things I wanted to do, and I guess being here tops the list. Kailangan kong makaisip ng rason, asap.

I raised the bottle of wine. "I heard from Poseidon you found this place. This is a welcoming gift, I guess."

She blinked a few times, pulling the lollipop from her lips. Hindi ko maiwasang mapatingin sa labi niya. I wonder what flavor her lollipop is.

"It's late, pero pasok ka," she said as she walked past me to open the gate. "Nagutom ako kaya bumili ako ng pagkain sa 7-Eleven." She yanked off her hoodie jacket, revealing her spaghetti-strapped top underneath.

"Sorry to bother you." I said, following her.

"You're still in your work clothes, so I figured you were working late," she replied, opening the door. "At saka, you're not bothering me. We're friends, remember?"

My smile faltered, though I didn't show it. She had to remind me of our status. Sana pinatay niya na lang ako.

Once we were inside, she pointed to the sofa. "Please settle down. Saktong marami akong binili. I'll just heat it up. Bumili talaga ako ng marami, para ma-try ko naman 'tong microwave. Can you believe na mura lang 'tong bahay? Fully furnished pa. Sabi ng caretaker, nasa ibang bansa na raw ang mag-asawang may-ari nitong bahay. The current caretaker is old, so parang ako na ang caretaker rito."

I looked around the house. It's exactly how I wanted it to be. "Nice."

"Tapos may bathtub pa! Alam mo bang pangarap ko lang yun dati?" She giggled, still with the lollipop in her mouth. "Pumapasok ako sa loob ng container dati, pretending it's a bathtub. Tapos pagagalitan ako ni Tatay kasi masisira raw iyon."

Napangiti ako. I imagined young Rustia doing that. When I imagined her now in the bathtub, hindi ko maiwasang mag-init. Damn it, what am I thinking?

I followed her around the kitchen area. She looked so happy as she moved around the place. Tuwang-tuwa siya nang ipakita sa akin ang mga bagay roon. She was even happy as she pointed at the dining chandelier. Maliit lamang iyon, enough to make the kitchen nice but not over the top.

Of course, my instructions on how to furnish the place were clear. I wanted to provide her comfort and luxury without suspicion.

She told me about how she's scheduled to video call the owners next week so they can get to know her and she can thank them for trusting her. Marami pa siyang kwento, and I'm hurt she's actually comfortably telling me like I am really her friend, samantalang ako ay hindi man lamang makatingin sa kanya ng walang malisya. Am I really just good enough to be a friend for her?

"Pasensiya ka na, nabo-bored ka siguro sa mga kwento ko. Masyado lamang akong natuwa," sabi niya nang mapansing nakatanga lamang ako sa kanya.

Ah, damn. I should have acted like I didn't know about everything, as if I am not the one who set it all up. There's no way I will tell her this place is for her and that the people she will be calling in a few days are paid to do the job.

Mabilis na napailing ako. "No, I'm not bored. I'm just curious."

"Curious saan?" she asked, her words slightly muffled with the lollipop still in her mouth.

I swallowed once. "About what your lollipop tastes like."

Her cheeks flushed, but she quickly recovered. She took the lollipop from her mouth for a moment. "Gusto mo ba? May nabili pa akong isa."

My curiosity was piqued. "Sure."

She rummaged through the paper bag. Bahagya akong lumapit sa kanya at pinanuod siya sa ginagawa.

"Uh, hindi yata nalagay rito—" she sucked in air nang maramdaman ako sa likuran niya.

I know I keep crossing the line, but why the hell is there a line? Sa tuwing nasa malalim akong pag-iisip, it's one of the things I wanted to understand in life. Why can't we just enjoy things without minding the imaginary drawn lines? Rustia had that effect on me, that no lines and no danger lights could stop.

Hindi ko inalis ang tingin sa kanya. She tilted her head, eyes looking at me with curiosity. Hinawakan ko ang palapulsuhan ng kamay niyang nakahawak sa lollipop. She slowly moved backward until her back gently hit the counter. Gaya ko ay hindi niya inaalis ang tingin sa akin. Our eyes locked, both filled with curiosity and anticipation.

I gently took her wrist and guided her to take the lollipop back into her mouth. I leaned in, staring at her lips bago ibinalik ang tingin sa kanyang mata.

Hindi ako natututo. Kahit ilang beses nang kinlaro ni Rustia kung ano kami, I am here again, like a moth to a flame.

Unti-unti kong ibinaba ang mukha sa kanya. She didn't move or speak, but she wasn't pulling away. The tension between us was building up so much that I thought I was going to explode.

Ganoon rin kaya ang epekto ko sa kanya? I wonder.

I moved a little closer, waiting for her to snap me back to reality. She was breathing heavily, and so was I. I stopped, but I didn't move away. I could smell the sweet scent of the cherry lollipop in her mouth, and I tugged my lips into a smile.

To my surprise, Rustia pulled out the lollipop and lurched closer to me. Nang maglapat ang mga labi namin, I could finally taste the sweet, cherry flavor of the lollipop.

I hate cherry, but tonight, it's surprisingly tasty from her mouth.

I gently kissed her, savoring the sweet taste, not wanting to leave any flavor. Her hands snaked up to my neck, pulling me closer.

The kiss we shared started slow, but there was something sensual in it. My tongue slid across her lower lip, and a tiny pant escaped her. Gripping her waist, I picked her up from the floor and let her sit on the kitchen counter, and continued kissing her.

Rustia responded with equal hunger, her hand gripping my hair. I deepened the kiss, pressing my body into hers. Hindi ko alam gaano katagal ang halik na iyon. When I pulled away, the lollipop was on the floor.

Oh, you poor thing.

Our breathing was heavy when we returned to look at each other in the eyes. Saglit na namayani ang katahimikan, as if we were teens who got shy with each other.

"You should go..." Rustia said, almost in a whisper.

A smile tugged on my lips. "Go where?"

She didn't answer. I know the tension between us is still high. She wanted me to go, yet she was clinging to me as if she had no intention of letting me go.

I ducked into the crook of her neck. "Go here?"

She shivered at the touch of my lips on her skin. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa balikat ko, a soft moan escaping her lips. My hand fell on her hips, tightening around them as I trailed kisses toward her shoulder.

"Friends should not kiss each other," she said, almost quietly. I couldn't agree more.

"Pero bakit ba iniisip ko ang mga eksenang ganito? When I'm alone, all I can think about are moments like this... with you. Mababaliw na yata ako, Cooler," she confessed.

I pulled her even closer, as if the distance between us wasn't enough. "Well, I'm no different. Rustia, what did you do to me?"

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