My fake smiles and laughs got me through the day without any questioning. They all just thought it was because of yesterday. Mark waved me over to him and the others. Dan and Phil weren't together but on either side of Mark, not even a glance towards each other. That's a bit odd, but I tried not to dwell on it since they aren't even officially dating or anything.

When I got home I basically crashed and burned, yet I felt numb to emotions. I laid on my bed staring at my ceiling. Sure cutting didn't really help me but it did keep my mind off things. No I don't need to, but I really want to. I'll regret it later. But that's later. Whilst the argument happened in my head I had walked to the bathroom, gotten one of my old razors, and sliced along my wrist. Oddly felt like nothing and everything at the same time. I cut again and again and again, until I heard a car park in the driveway. "shit, shit, shit." I cursed as I stumbled to put everything hidden away. "Jack, sweetie are you upstairs?" my mother called. "Y-Yes just um in the bathroom be down in a minute" I answered hoping my voice wouldn't waver too much.

I rinsed my wrist but didn't bandage it or anything. I ran to my room and got a sweatshirt to cover my arms. I slowly went downstairs. "hey mom" I faked another smile. "Hi sweetie" she smiled genuinely. We talked for a bit. Mostly her saying how we should "hang out more, mother son bonding" and shit like that. I loved my mother but I didn't give two fucks about that.

The next day I wore a long sleeve shirt to cover my scars so that my friends wouldn't see, mostly so Mark wouldn't see. I sigh as I see the shitheads who beat me up. One looks at me and frowns. I roll my eyes as I stand there waiting. He nudged the 'leader' guy and the begin to walk over here. "Sup shitface mcfagginton" he says smiling. I don't respond. "Hey he's talking to you" another shoves me. I don't flinch and keep a dead straight face. Not like it was hard to do since I was basically dead inside already. Before my brain could process what happened I was on the floor, my cheek stinging and some people passing by gasped. He slapped me. I closed my eyes but kept my face still. Frustrated that he couldn't get a response from me, I see a shoe going right to my face before everything turns black.

Lucky I wasn't out too long and a nice girl had come over and sat my unconscious body up right. I thanked her and after she saw me stand, walked away. I ran to the nearest bathroom to see the damage. Nothing to bad just a black eye, easily covered with some concealer, and a small gash from where he stuck me, I'll just say I tripped. You can tell I'm used to this kind of shite.

I didn't see Mark, Felix, Cry, or Dan and Phil. I guess they got sick of me already.