Jack's POV

Since I didn't want them going after me again, I decided, no hat and attempted an American accent. I got ready for school. Today I wore jeans again and a grey flannel. I ran downstairs and again ignored my mother as she scolded me for skipping breakfast again. I wasn't hungry anyway. I left and got to school early waiting for one of my friends.

I see Mark. He's talking to some people I don't recognize at first. Until it hits me. Literally. One of the guys from yesterday threw a paper ball at my head. "For fucks sake" I mumble and walk in the other direction. why does Mark have to hangout with those assholes. Cause their cooler than me. I sigh going to my locker.

Felix and Cry come over happily. I plaster on a fake smile but Cry sees right through it straight away. "Jack what's wrong" Shit, shit, shit. "N-nothing I'm fine" lies. I could tell Cry was squinting under the mask questioningly. He shrugs and Felix starts. "Ja-" I cut him off, "I said I'm fine"  I snap. I look down to avoid his surprised gaze. I guess he noticed the absence of my accent, so did Cry. I walked away with my head down.  Dumb move on my part. I ran into Mark again but he just held me there, kinda like a hug I guess. "How's my favorite Irish man?" he asked smiling down at me. I felt like crying right there and then. I saw those guys from before chuckling. "hey look Marks hanging with fags now" one said to his friend. Mark didn't hear it but I did. I pushed Mark off but he grabbed my hand before I could get away. "ah fuck" I yelped with my obviously fake American accent. "Jack are you okay?" he asked worry tracing his tone. I quickly took my scraped hand back. "Yea it's fine, don't worry" I said as the 'leader' of the guys put his finger to his lips. He's listening to our conversation. I felt panic run through my body. I was gonna puke. I quickly looked back at worried Mark. "I gotta go" I ran away as the guys walked over to Mark.

I left school entirely. I couldn't face Mark or Felix or Cry. I felt all of my old repressed school memories flood back into my brain. "Ayy look it's faggot Sean"      "Weed head"      "Idiot"      "Shut the hell up you loud  ass fag"      "Hey Sean how's the fam-....Oh right they hate you"      "Kill yourself"      "No one would even miss your  Irish ass"    "Your just an attention seeking whore"

I shook my head but the words kept repeating. "No, no, no, no, no, SHUT UP" I yelled. I felt my nails digging into my head and neck as I sat on my bed. I looked at the scars on my arms from the years of torture and some from self harm. Self harm made no difference, just made more scars to hide. I went to the bathroom to wash my face. As I put my hands under the water it stung from the small reopened cuts on my palms. I winced at the slight pain my mostly ignored it. I've been ignoring  stuff a lot lately.

I didn't go to school the next day.

Or the day after.

I felt numb to emotion. I told my mother I was sick and she believed me. "Seany some of your friends are here to see you" she called. I couldn't even answer and stayed silent. I heard mumbling outside of my door. I pulled my blankets higher covering my chest and pajama pants. "Jack why did your mom call you Seany?" Felix burst through the door with Cry behind him. "holy shite are you okay?" Felix said loudly. "Fe he looks like he hasn't eaten or moved in three days" Cry countered. "Because he hasn't" my mother butted in at the door before going off to work. I heard her say hello to someone downstairs. "Jack please tell us what happened" Felix begged as I stared blankly at them. "Dan and Phil told me you haven't answered their texts. My phone was dead and I didn't bother to charge it. "Hey Jack why did your mom call you Sean?" shit frick fuck. It was Mark. As soon as he saw my state his eyes became teary. I just stared covering my arms more. "Jack?" the way he said my name brought some life back into me. I swallowed "Y-yea?". Mark rushed over ignoring Felix and Cry's astonished looks. He hugged me but pulled away when I flinched. The blanket that was covering my scars and chest slipped down. I quickly grabbed it but Felix had already seen. "Ja-" he thought for a moment. "Sean" he said sternly. Mark and Cry turned to look at him. I cringed a little when he said it. "Felix what are you...." Cry started but realized it too. They looked slightly hurt at my lying. "Jack isn't your name, your name is Sean" Felix finished. I nodded. "Why did you lie?" Mark looked especially hurt. But it's not like he really cared, none of them do, they're just here to make sure you don't die too quickly. "Jack what's happening, your lying to us..." He started. "please stop" I whispered",  ".... your faking your accent....."    I whispered a bit louder, "please stop",    ".....your ignoring us right now!" Felix's voiced raised slightly. "I said stop!" I screamed. "You don't actually care!" Felix and Cry took a step back but Mark took a step foreword. He looked completely calm. His calm nature was comforting. He took my arm and ran his fingers over my scars. "Did you do this.......do you still....ya know do it" His voice wavered but stayed calm. "It wasn't all me but no it was one time" I answered quietly. Felix and Cry walked over slowly and sat at the end of the bed.

*more time snickerdoodles*

The next day I went to school. I was happy and all my friends were extra considerate. Everything was fine until we had a substitute who called me by my full name after I hadn't been paying attention. "Sean William McLoughlin" she yelled. "It's Jack" I said my Irish accent now present and thick,  but she just rolled her eyes. I heard someone snicker in the back. When I went to my locker and opened it a note fell.

"Dear Sean William McFagglin,

KYS.

Sincerely, everyone <3"

What the hell it's not like I was making out with guys and declining being gay. Not like I was even being openly gay like Felix and Cry. They didn't get any of this shit. It made me sad again. I shoved the note in my bag. They taunted me the rest off the day. Making fun of my looks, my hair, my height, pretty much anything. I went back into silence and depression. But I faked happiness for my friends, I don't want to burden them again.

.