Come just as you are to me, don't need apologies, know that you are worthy

"Yunho, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

The response that Seonghwa got, which he hadn't expected, was a second round of tears. "Okay, okay, forget I asked," He exclaimed, rummaging in his pocket for the pack of tissues he always brought. "Here, take these," He handed the pack over. "And maybe I should shelter you, otherwise those tissues have no purpose." He lifted the umbrella so it was covering both their heads. "You feel better now?" Obviously he wasn't, Seonghwa decided to just ask out of concern.

"You see how the lake surface fluctuates with each drop that hits it? How it continuously goes up and down without stopping? That's my heart right now."

"I can understand that, but it still doesn't tell me why you're crying."

"I like being in the rain when I cry, because no one can tell if I'm crying. They don't know if it's tears or rain, and once they mix together into nothingness, no one will ever tell. It's the same with showing or hiding outward feelings." Yunho stared gumly at his clenched fists, squeezing the pack of tissues tighter than before.

"That's where you're wrong, Yun. You say that tears and rain can mix together, and all will be gone. But that's not the case for me. Tears are the droplets that hold feelings within them. They come in cases of extreme emotions, be it pleasure, sadness, anger: that's why they're salty, because they hold emotion in them. Raindrops don't hold any emotion, they are just regular water droplets, but due to the influence of your tears, now they're all flooded with feelings. Especially the ones at your feet."

Yunho couldn't help but heave a small laugh. "That's a good analogy."

"Why thank you. I just came up with it a moment ago." He hesitated. "Do you feel better now?"

"A little."

"That's good. You should head back home, it won't help for you to stay here and fall ill like this."

At the thought of home, Yunho shuddered, the spirits of Yeosang in every corner of the place. He just couldn't. "I-I can't go home, Seonghwa."

The elder, who had picked up the plastic bags from the bench and was about to leave, turned back immediately. "Why can't you go home?" Just the word home disgusted Yunho to no extent.

"I just... can't. That place isn't a home to me anymore."

"Well then, what are you gonna do?"

"Probably I'll just stay here till heaven or hell decides they want me back."

"That's a good figure of speech, but that won't do at all." Seonghwa made a split second decision. "Yunho, how about you come home with me? I don't have much, but you've got to at least change out of those clothes. They're soaked, and I don't want you to catch a chill."

"Why are you so concerned about me?" Yunho responded, his voice laced with ice. "I'm not worth caring about anyway." The final words from Yeosang had dealt a hard blow to his mind. Your life isn't worth that much anyway.

"I care about you because you're my friend, and this is something a friend should do." Also, because you stole my heart the first time I saw you. "The food's gone cold. Shoot. C'mon Yun, it's not a big deal, promise."

Slowly, Yunho stood up from the bench, seemingly convinced. His limbs were already stiff from sitting there all wet in the cold. Sharing half the umbrella each together, Seonghwa led the way back to the apartment building, tredding carefully so as not to slip. They headed into the lobby, where Yunho led a trail of dripping water across the smooth marble-tiled floor and into the elevator. When they reached the fifth floor, the doors opened to reveal a full dressed Hongjoong, looking extremely worried.

"Ohmygosh, Seonghwa. I was just about to go out to search for you. What took you so long oh..."

He had noticed the very crestfallen looking, dripping wet Yunho. Quickly, Seonghwa hustled him out the lift and into his apartment, where he held the door open with his foot while passing the bags of food to Hongjoong.

"I'm so sorry about the delay. Just heat up the food in the microwave and it should still be good."

But Hongjoong's mind wasn't even on the food. "Is he going to be alright?" He motioned to Seonghwa's partially closed door in a concerned tone.

Seonghwa dropped his voice to a whisper. "I don't even know why he was there. He wouldn't mention anything that happened. It's just, he was so upset that he wouldn't go home, and I didn't want to leave him out in the rain like that. Though, I suspect something happened between him and his boyfriend. They share an apartment, and he didn't want to go home. There's got to be some connection there."

"Well, I'll save you both some food from the ravenous devil twins over there. Go do what you've got to."

"Thanks Joong."

Seonghwa hurried back inside, only to find Yunho seated on the shoe bench. "You were right about the issue being Yeosang, Seonghwa. I just don't feel right talking about it yet..." He choked out, voice breaking slightly.

"Don't worry, you can tell me in your own time. For now, what matters is that we get you dry and comfortable. You get to the bathroom. I'll find a set of clothes for you." With that, Seonghwa headed to the bedroom and rummaged in his closet.

Half an hour later, a dry and more comfortably dressed Yunho emerged from the bathroom. While his guest was in the shower, Seonghwa had hastened to dry the shoe bench and floor in the path Yunho had taken to get to the bathroom.

"Um, hyung, is it alright if I hang my clothes in the shower? They're washed but still very wet."

"Oh, it's fine. Just leave them there."

There were many scars on Yunho's left arm, Seonghwa noticed, ranging in length but were all parallel to each other, and every single one was thin and white. If they weren't so systematic, Seonghwa wouldn't have suspected anything. But based on how drastically identical they mostly were, he knew they were self-inflicted. However, although he pretended not to notice, the bearer of the scars himself knew he had. The younger of the two was currently seated on the sofa rather quietly, though he seemed to be at attention, taking in everything around him.

"Have you eaten yet, Yunho?" Seonghwa had returned with a mug of warm water, which he handed to the sitting one.

"No, I haven't," He answered between sips.

"Shall I get some from next door? Joong said he'll leave some for us-"

"I'm not hungry."

"But you're weak, you need to replenish your energy."

"No point replenishing the energy of a weakling who's going to die."

"You're not dying on my watch, Yunho. Wait here." He hurried across the hall and knocked on the door. This time, it was San who answered.

"Is he alright? Joong hyung already filled us in on what happened."

"He's fine, for now at least. Joong said he left some food for us?"

"Yep, here it is." The pink-haired went to get the two bowls from the table.

"Thanks." "Take care hyung."

Seonghwa headed back into his apartment, relieved to see Yunho still seated on the couch in the same spot, except this time, he was gazing out the window.

"Yun, at least eat a little. If not for yourself, have some for me. I don't want to see you starve-"

"You have a nice house, hyung."

"Thank you."

"I wished my-, our-," He sighed. "I wish my old apartment looked like this. Heck, it's not even mine anyway..."

"Aww, no, I bet your old place looked better."

"It might have looked better, but it didn't feel like this."

"What's that feeling?"

"The feeling of a home."