School starts tomorrow. I'm underweight, but I'm 122pounds. That's five pounds fatter than I was before the short break. I'd be bigger if I hadn't lost the 4 pounds before. I went from 119 to 115 to 117 all the way to 122.

My doctor felt at a loss. I could see it on his face. He felt like if he agreed to let me officially join the team, It would be like he was rewarding my behavior. However, he also said that this might be the beginning of a much healthier mindset. He came to that conclusion because I almost managed to meet the very minimum weight goal. He also thinks that my drive for dance will give me reason to continue my weight gain journey.

In short, I was permitted to dance. However, if in 10 weeks I am not 130 pounds, I am not allowed to compete. Sadly this is news the school knows about as well, so there's no solo offerings for me unless I make the weight goal.

"Jimin!" Ten called.

He threw a plastic pool ball my way. Water splashed all over me. I held onto it awkwardly before Taemin came and took it from me. I wiped the water dripping down my arms against my shirt.

His host family has an indoor pool. He invited our friend group over to enjoy the last day of the break.

Ten's host family is well off. Apparently his actual family is too. He'd gone home through his exchange program for the summer to see them. He came back just a few days ago. When he decided he wanted to graduate in Korea, his parents allowed it. His host family even offered to keep him for the year again. He said he might even try for college here because he likes it so much.

"Are you gonna swim?" He asked me.

All of them felt comfortable around each other. All shirtless. In nothing but swim trunks. Their stomachs were all toned. Even Baekhyun had a better build than me- he doesn't even work out.

I shook my head awkwardly. I was the only one who wasn't swimming. I had my trunks, but I also had an oversized T-shirt on.

The uniforms at our school calls for a blazer. I wore mine each day. This break, when I was around any of the guys, I tried not to wear anything too revealing. My oversized white t-shirt at the moment is revealing more of me than even Taemin has seen. Even my trunks are showing more of me than I ever wanted to show.

"Come on, the water feels great!" Sungwoon butted in.

I smiled shyly as I backed away from the pool even more. Taemin was still beside me. I could feel his eyes on me, but I felt simply too embarrassed to openly acknowledge him. I felt put on the spot as all the guys had looked at me.

"Ok..." I agreed.

"We can go in together if you'd like" Taemin quickly offered.

I still didn't look his way. I moved in towards the water. Getting down and resting my legs in the water. My clothing already was uncomfortable, but now to be the only one who doesn't take off my shirt to swim, it's borderline humiliating to me.

"Aren't you gonna take off your shirt?" Questioned Baekhyun as he swam over to me.

Wherever Baekhyun goes, Chanyeol trails behind. The closer they got, the more ashamed I felt. Baekhyun is the real skinny type. Chanyeol is a workout junkie, his build is something other men envy. It's not the type of build I want, but I envy it too even. The way they looked compared to me- it was the only thing my mind could process at the moment.

I hate my body. I don't want them to see it- ever.

"Let him swim do what he wants. Jimin, it's ok" Taemin said as he jumped in beside me.

I let my head fall awkwardly.

"I'm sure Jimin has some godly body. You can see the outline of his frame now, he's a dancer alright." Ten said.

It felt that for just a moment, my heart stopped. Not in the fluttering way, but in the panic way.

"I just-" I cut myself off

What could I even say? Have they all been staring at my body this whole time? Is he making fun of me? Was this all just to mock and tease me? Am I not in on the cruel joke?

I wanna go home. I should.

"Hey, it's ok" Taemin comforted immediately.

He was in front of me. I raised my head from my the sight of my legs in the water to him. The look in his eyes in this moment. It was a look that said, "I know the truth". My breath hitched. I blinked once and suddenly my eyes were glossed over.

I nodded my head at him, confirming his suspicions he must have had for a while.

"It's not even spring yet, he can wear his shirt. Jimin's mentioned before, he's sensitive to the cold. Even your perfectly  temped indoor pool is a bit chilly today." He quickly made up a lie and reasoned it.

I smiled sadly at him. Blinking back the tears the best I could. I didn't want the others to see me cry. Taemin, maybe. Anyone else- no.

I slowly got in all the way. Taemin holding my arms to help me a bit. I smiled a tight closed mouth smile.

"It's ok" he reassured me again.