The Kim's were over for dinner. I sat between my parents, across from Taehyung who also sat between his parents. He shot me a sort of smirk as he evened out his chopstick and picked up some rice.

"So Jungkook, how are you enjoying the new school?" Mrs. Kim broke the silence.

I corrected my posture and took the disgusted look off of my face. Tearing my eyes from Taehyung and meeting eyes with his mothers. She had a much more lively look in her eyes. Color in her face. Taehyung was so dull compared to his parents. A kind of dull only I can see.

He's a walking corpse.

"I've made a lot of friends. I'm also interested in two clubs, a bit unsure which I'd like to choose" I said.

My mother shot me a sort of impressed look. Probably thinking how good this is for me. My father continued to eat, unbothered by what goes on in my personal life. And despite the clear approval in my mothers eyes, somehow The Kim's always seem more excited for me than my own parents.

Sometimes I wonder if Taehyung and I were secretly switched at birth.

"Clubs? You never liked clubs" Taehyung butted in .

I sighed carelessly to brush him off, even adding in a bit of a shrug. Setting my chopsticks down and pushing my bowl away from me.

"I'm only trying to have fun. You should try it once in a while"

He smirked again, adding in a scoff.

"I have fun. We just enjoy different things" He clarified.

This caused me to scoff too, only under my breath. At this point, this is where our conversations at family dinner usually end. And somehow our parents never catch the hint that we are no longer friends.

"Mom, I have a lot of homework. Can I go study? I'm full" I lied.

Honestly, these days I feel too guilty to eat.

She sighed, but nodded her head to dismiss me. I know she hates when I leave family-friend dinners, but when I tell her I have school work she can't deny me of it. After all, my parents mostly just care that I work hard, study hard, go to a decent college- maybe even abroad, then come back and partake in a career like theirs.

I stood from my seat, bowing slightly before heading out of the dining room. Then the god forbidden words came out of Mrs Kim's now foul mouth.

"Taehyung, if you are all finished it's alright for you to join him"

I'd stopped in my tracks. Turning to face them all with a forced smile. And Taehyung nodded at his mom before standing and making his way to me. Smiling as he gestured for me to go first. I shot him a glare as I passed him and headed to the stairs.

I was all caught up in my work honestly . There wasn't anything for me to hide behind. No textbook for me to set on my lap and try to forget about him with. No essays to submerge myself in to drown him out.

I sat on my bed, opening my phone to see what everyone in the groupchat had to say.

Sungwoon: anyone wanna get smoothies?
Chanyeol: football practice, sorry
Baekhyun: I'm with choir friends :(
Taemin: Jongin and I are practicing, but we can be there in 20 ish minutes?
Jimin: I'm not feeling too well, raincheck...
Chanyeol: feel better soon, Jimin!
Baekhyun: he probably caught a cold watching u practice dumbass
Taemin: :( poor Jimin!

I sighed. I can't even get lost in texting them, I don't feel like I have a place in this group at all.

I glanced up to see Taehyung going through all of my drawers. Looking at my new clothes. Touching my items on my dresser. And once he felt my gaze, he caught it and held onto it.

"You still have this photo of us? I'm surprised you didn't toss it" He said.

It was a photo of us when we were 5. Taehyung wasn't smiling it in, but I had the biggest smile on my face. My arms were around him and we were cheek to cheek. The frame had "best frends" spelled wrong in english written on it. Taehyung gave it to me just a little bit after it was taken.

"I haven't changed anything about my room since middle school" I said.

It's true. I'm only ever in here to sleep, study, and change clothes. There's no need in decorating. I barely see it.

"I miss you, Jungkook" he said.

He's always said things like this when we fought, but he's always been so cold and empty when he said it. It sounded like he meant it, but never looked it. He's a robot.

"You know, Jungkook, you have to get over it at some point." He began. "Look at you. You're skinny. You have dark circles. Your hair is messy, untrimmed. You look ugly."

I only ignored him.

He sat beside me. Smiling at me.

"I'm willing to look past it if you are."

My eyes widened in that moment. I got up, giving myself space from him. Not wanting to touch him. To even breathe the same air as him.

"Look past it? You- Taehyung fuck off!"

The way the words "look past it" replayed in my head, made my heart sink more and more as he spoke.

I've destroyed myself over this for months now. I thought we fucking killed someone. I thought we drove someone to insanity. I thought he'd finally driven me to insanity.

"Jungkook, you're my best friend. You really want to toss me aside over a guy?"

Over a guy? Say his name Taehyung. Park Jimin. I wanted to throw you away because you threw away Park Jimin's life. Because I helped.

Even if he's not truly gone, we still ruined him.

"I liked him" I spat.

You just couldn't leave fresh meat alone. You just couldn't let it go once you started. Once I liked him, you found even more reason to mess around.

"When we were little, do you remember-"

"I remember a lot."

Everything.

The birds. The cat. I remember the little girls. The "weird kids".

Taehyung, you hurt a lot of beings.

"You promised you'd watch me the first time, remember?" He chuckled a bit. "You cried and cried for the bird. You even prayed for it and I know you don't believe in a god. You then-" he paused

Standing up to walk towards me. I backed up.

"Jungkook, you prayed for me too. That I wouldn't get in trouble. You said you promised to be there for me. You cared for me. You felt so much empathy for me. I always told myself, it's ok, Jungkook is by my side. It's ok, Jungkook will cry for me. Jungkook is my safety net. I know you think I'm cold, that I'm incapable of caring. That I enjoy hurting people, enjoy destroying things. You though I was a bad person, so you stood beside me go protect me. I care for you too, despite everything you think. Jungkook, how is this time any different?" He said.

He'd put on one of his masks. A convincing one. Yet, I see right through it. He knows I do, too. Yet he still tried it out.

"Taehyung, you never changed. You moved on from hurting. Those animals to people." I shuttered at the thought, distancing myself further. "Only humans are harder to hurt so you simply pick someone to attach yourself to like a leach. You hold on and suck the life out of them. This time is different because you didn't stop when I told you. You used my feelings against me to take your game a step further. You used the fact that I cared about both of you. And for what Taehyung? There's never a reason so of course I think you're a bad person. You do it because you enjoy it. You said it yourself, we enjoy different things"

With that he went back to his bored and expressionless gaze. Simply sighing and turning to leave.

"If I could bring him back for you, I suppose I would. Just so you could see that not all my intentions are ill" he lied.

"But you can't. You did what you did. I did what I did. I know your games, Taehyung. Don't think for a second I'll feel bad for you anymore."