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😭

Alam mo kung gaano kasakit to?

Minessage pa kita nong nov. 28. Nong napanaginipan kita kaya sinabi ko:

Hoy naalala nanaman kita!

I hated that dream kasi ibinalik lang niya yung friendship that I already lost with you.

Kasi feeling ko nakakamove on na ako. That I already get over you. Na wala ka na talaga sa buhay ko.

Pero that dream, doon bumalik ka and  alam mong nagtatampo ako sa'yo. Pero you want us back, our friendship back. Kaya naiinis ako pagkagising ko dahil pinaasa lang ako ng panaginip ko na yun.

And today, I am really stress of so many thing plus I could hardly trust people around me because I know they are not as genuine as my old friend aisha(you).

Yes, I do commit mistakes and I felt that they are talking behind my back. Or it is just me again and my own issue with my postpartum stress.

I want to talk to you just like before kahit na sa chat lang with my imaginary friend na sobrang tagal nang nawala.

I always wonder kung bakit pa ako nakakasend dun eh nag-deactivate ka ng fb mo. All your social media accounts to be exact.

You never read them. It is okay kasi I thought the account is already abandoned. It feels good and right to chat with you there kasi I still feel you there with our old conversation from year 2017 pa yung last.

Pero bakit ngayon pa. I can no longer chat you there.

I just felt that you are seeing my chats and just ignore them. And maybe you got tired of recieving messages from me so you shut it down. Totally. I see.

You really don't like me as you friend anymore huh.

You are so bad!

Yes, I hate you right now 😭

I pity myself for being stock with you and your genuineness. I used to see you as my true friend, I just don't expect you will not stay long.

Now, I totally lost you. I never hope for our reunion anymore. If we see each other in the future, I will not act like we met before and we became close friend before. I lost you and you lost me too. I need to be fair for myself.

And I really need to let you go.

So that I can open myself to others.

Please stop visiting me in my dream and give me that false hope of reunion because it will never be the same anymore.

I have to forget you and our friendship.. Yes, I have to.