Chapter 33  It's Real Love

Nico

"Do you think she'll be okay?" I ask Finn for the third time since we left L.A. about 2 hours ago. "Maybe we should have brought her with us?"

This time he just smiles and takes my hand. "Nic, babe, she's fine. She has Lucy, Louisa, Rosita, Benji and Ajax taking care of her. They're probably treating her like a princess."

"As they should be!" I retort quite loudly.

Okay. Maybe I'm getting a little out of hand, but I'm a first time father, so I'm allowed to be.

Since we left pretty early we don't hit too much traffic, maybe people are still recovering from their Thanksgiving dinner. Finn's driving so I sit back into the seat and try to relax, but I'm thinking about a phone call I received two days ago from one of my private investigators. He hadn't had any luck finding Finn's mother, all leads had run cold. I'd called Eddie right after and he wasn't having any better luck either.

I'd waited to give Finn an update, but I didn't want to keep anything from him.

"So..." I began.

"Mm?" He gave me a quick look before looking back at the road.

"I got a call from my P.I., the one looking for your mother."

"And?"

"Nothing."

"I should call Eddie," he says with a sigh.

"I already did. He hasn't heard from her either."

"Do you think...who am I kidding..."

"What baby?"

"I just feel like she's going to pop up at some point and cause trouble."

"Finn, she may come back, but she can never take Paisley from us."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because my lawyers are the best and they have assured me that the contract she signed, the court order, everything is iron clad."

Finn didn't look so convinced and I don't want this to sully our special weekend. "I promise...trust me baby."

He looks thoughtful for a few minutes before he takes in a deep inhalation. "You're right. I'm not going to waste time worrying about something that probably won't happen. We're going to live our lives and be the best parents for Paisley and no matter what happens, we'll figure it out. Between the two of us, we won't let any of her toxic influence touch our baby girl."

"That's right baby." I reach over and squeeze his shoulder.

"Thanks babe. Thanks for keeping me in the loop. I know...well, the old Nico..."

"Would have kept it from you in the name of protecting you. I know, but you're a strong man and you don't need to be protected. I won't ever be like that again Finn."

"I know, thanks babe."

Pulling into the driveway a few hours later, we climb out of the car and stretch before carrying our bags inside. Finn walks straight through and opens the sliding glass door out to the back deck. I follow him out and admire the view. I've always loved this place. The smell of the salt water and the sound of the tide.

"It's a bit cool for swimming, but we can go for a walk if you want?"

"Are you kidding? I'm going in!" Finn objects and within seconds he's ripping his clothes off, leaving himself in just his boxers. The beach here is private and the neighbors are far enough that we have plenty of privacy, plus, they're hardly ever there. The closest neighbor is some movie executive who never has enough time to use his vacation home because he's always working.

Finn runs down the beach and plows into the water. I watch with a smile for a few seconds before I go inside to get a towel. When I return he's lumbering back up towards the house.

"Okay," he says, his voice breathy and a little high pitched. "Maybe you're right. But it was refreshing!"

He takes the towel I offer him and wraps it around his shoulders.

"Well, Ajax has an outside hot tub and a jacuzzi bath upstairs, some hot water will warm you right up," I suggest. "The hot tub needs to be filled, so the jacuzzi is faster."

"Nah, I'm good. I'll dry off and get dressed. After that long drive I need a walk on the beach. We'll bring the camera."

After our walk we decide to cook dinner together instead of going out. Ajax had his housekeeper stock the fridge so before long we have a hearty meal cooking.

We spend the next two days just lazing around the house. We have no interest in going out to eat or shopping. This trip is to relax and reconnect, aside from one meeting Finn has set up at a gallery late Sunday afternoon.

Between the two of us we call Benji and Ajax three or four times a day to check on Paisley. They report that she is happy, healthy and being spoiled by her uncles and grandmothers. Lucy, Louisa and Rosita have all claimed to be her honorary grandmothers and we have no problem with that. The more love she gets, the better.

It makes me think of the very true African proverb, 'It takes a village to raise a child'. I truly believe that the more people a child has in their life to give them love and support, the happier and more well-rounded they will be. My background being a culture where family is extremely important and most families are large and extended I want to give all of that to our daughter.

Many of the people Finn and I consider "family" are not blood related, but the love is just as strong. I have no doubt that Paisley's life will be filled with many who will cherish her the way we do and I feel very grateful for that.

Finn

"So what did you do while I was gone?" I ask Nico as I kick off my shoes and lean my portfolio against the wall. I'm surprised Nico didn't want to come with me, he usually likes to be involved in these kinds of things, but he stayed back at the beach house after he said he had some things to take care of.

"Mm?" Nico looks up from the stove where he's heating up some soup. I see a salad he's put together on the island and two places set up, but I was gone for more than two hours. He probably just had emails to deal with so I don't push it.

"Hi babe." I walk up beside him and look over his shoulder as I breathe in. He smells really good and I notice his hair is damp so he must have taken a shower while I was gone.

Nico holds up the spoon so I can taste. "Mmm, that tastes good!" It's a tomato base with ground beef, tomato chunks and some other things I can't identify, but taste really yummy. "Anything I can do?"

"There's a baguette over there, will you slice it up?"

I give Nico a chaste kiss before I get to my task. Lunch seems like it was hours and hours ago and I'm starved. Once everything is ready we sit down on either side of the counter and eat while I tell him all about the Malibu gallery I visited. The owner had contacted me a few weeks back wanting to show some of my work, so we'd set up a meeting which is one of the reasons we came down for the weekend.

"You seem kind of quiet Nic. You okay?" I ask when I realize I've been doing all the talking.

He gives me a bright smile. "I'm great actually. Just been thinking about things."

"Like what?"

"Us, our future, Paisley, all sorts of stuff."

"Anything specific you want to talk about?"

"No baby, I just had a quiet afternoon thinking about how lucky I am and ways I can keep the two most important people in my life happy."

"We're already happy," I reply, "just being with you make us happy. You don't need to do anything special."

Nico rewards me with one of his wide smiles. He looks so happy and it's reflected in the twinkle in his eyes. "I know baby. I always want it to be like this."

"It will be," I assure him.

"You made dinner so I'll clean up," I tell him as we finish our meal, but of course Nico helps anyway.

"We should pack our stuff, we have an early morning tomorrow." Nico and I were strolling on the beach after a late supper. Our long weekend in Malibu has been perfect. A chance for us to connect on our own, relax and catch up on some much needed rest. I feel refreshed and ready to get back to our little girl and I'm sure Nico feels the same.

"And straighten up the place," I add, since we were borrowing Ajax and Benji's beach house.

"Don't worry about that, I've arranged to have the regular cleaning lady come tomorrow after we leave. She'll do a complete cleaning, I'll leave her a large bonus."

"Awesome, I didn't really feel like spending our last night scrubbing the kitchen anyway."

"No, I have much better plans for tonight," he chuckles in that low sexy voice of his and I feel a shiver go up my spine.

Will making love to Nico ever get old? I honestly don't think so. He makes every moment of ours feel special and exciting. I feel treasured when I'm with him and I just hope I make him feel a fraction of the way he makes me feel.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" he asks. I hadn't realized I was staring at him as we walked and I probably have a silly, doe-eyed smile. I blush and look away, but of course Nico would never let me get away with that.

He stops in front of me, turning so we're face to face. Even with my late growth spurt he's still a few inches taller and my heart skips a beat as he steps forward taking my face in his hands.

"I want to know what you're thinking baby."

"I...I was just thinking about you, and how you make me feel. It's...well, sometimes when I'm with you, I feel so in love and so loved by you that I think my heart is just going to burst," I admit.

A smile breaks out on his face and his eyes soften and if love could be quantified, it would take me a million years to count that high.

"My heart burst a long time ago with all that you made me feel, but somehow you healed it and now it feels big, strong and indestructible. You make me feel indestructible."

We stand there, staring at each other for several minutes. No words needed to be said because we both could see what we felt in each other's eyes. Finally, I feel like I wanted to break the silence.

"Kiss me you fool," I whisper.

Nico lets out a chuckle before leaning forward and placing a tender kiss on my lips. I let out a quiet moan as the kiss turns deeper, but we're suddenly interrupted by a loud crack of lightning followed by a torrential downpour of rain we hadn't been expecting.

Within seconds we're drenched and we look at one another and start laughing. I take Nico's hand and pull him in the direction of the beach house and soon we're running at top speed towards that sliding glass door on the back deck. Nico gets there a step ahead of me and quickly opens the door, pulling me inside. We look at each other and just start laughing. We're drenched from head to toe and looked like two drowned rats.

"I'll grab some towels," Nico says as he walks to the downstairs bathroom. I stay where I am since I already have a puddle at my feet and I don't want to spread it all over the house. Soon Nico returns with a bunch of towels, handing me one and placing a few on the floor for us to stand on.

"Man, I'm frozen now," I say with a shiver since the rain was cool and the air conditioning in the house was left on.

"I'll lower the A/C, why don't you go run a hot bath."

"Are you going to join me?" I ask.

"I just have some things to take care of and then I'll be up."

I run upstairs and straight into the bathroom, turning on the jacuzzi tub before I strip out of my wet clothes. I put them in a pile on the floor so I can run them and Nico's through the washer and dryer before we leave tomorrow so we don't have to pack wet clothes. When the tub is ready I climb in and let out a deep sigh as my body thaws.

"I poured us each a brandy to help warm us up," Nico says as he walks in with two small brandy snifters. He puts them down on the end of the tub before he takes off his wet clothes and joins me in the tub sitting across from me so we face each other.

We start talking about things we want in the house we're going to build. Paisley's room and playroom, art studio, home office, music room, plenty of guest rooms, a nice play area outside a deck overlooking the valley. We decide to hold off on a pool until Paisley is older, it's hard not to be overprotective.

After our bath I dry off and throw on a pair of boxers before I run our wet clothes and a few other things down to the washing machine.

"I want us to be equal in every way," Nico announces as I return to the room. He's wearing a pair of dark silk sleep pants and no shirt and looking...hot as he finishes packing up most of our clothes. I can't quite read his face or recognize the tone of his voice. It's softer than usual and I wonder if I hear a hint of vulnerability...or maybe he has a sore throat from the cold rain earlier. I'm confused by his words.

"What do you mean? We are, aren't we? I mean...well what do you mean?"

Nico looks decidedly uncomfortable as he sits down on the bed, leaning against the headboard. So I kneel down on the bed and crawl over until I'm sitting on my heels not even an inch from his side. He looks serious about something, I really don't think it's about money or anything like that, he's rich and my future is looking pretty golden at the moment with my constant requests for more paintings. Money doesn't matter to either of us.

When Nico doesn't continue, I take his hands in mine, moving the book he picked up randomly, like he was trying to figure out what to do with his hands. "You can talk to me about anything Nico."

He looks up at me, then away, then back, takes a few deep breaths so I wait patiently. Finally he looks down at his hands before he starts talking again.

"I mean...in bed. I know...you've..." he takes a few more minutes before he can say the next word, "topped...with boyfriends, back in New York...I don't have to always be the top, it's up to you...but...I don't mind." My eyebrows shoot up and my eyes study his face. Was this Nico? My Nico?

"Have you ever bottomed?" I ask, and his face turns a shade of red I have never, ever seen.

"No...but...for you, I'd do it for you. I want to do it for you," he stammers, stressing the word 'want'.

"You're blushing! I made Nicolas Salazar blush!" Maybe I'm not being fair, but I can't help but smile and, okay, maybe I let out one or two chuckles.

"Don't embarrass me," he pleads, his eyes so sincere.

"No, I don't mean to. It's just...kinda cool. You were my first and now I'll be your first." Nico looks apprehensive and I feel bad, this must be so hard for him, look at what a long way he's come from the man I first met when I was 16. "You don't have to Nico, I'm fine with the way things are. I don't feel unequal when we make love," I say softly.

"I want to, I want to try it with you. I've never felt that desire before, but I do with you...maybe, not all the time, but when you want to."

"Do I turn you on sailor?" I ask with a smirk. Finally, he cracks a smile and I can see his body physically relax. His eyes become dark and lustful and the Nico I'm used to comes back.

"Do you turn me on?" he asks, his voice gets low and sultry as he leans forward, pushing me down onto my back and climbing over me. "Do you turn me on? Feel this," he growls, grinding an erection I hadn't noticed appear, "you tell me. Do you turn me on?"

"Mmm, I think I can answer in the affirmative," I reply. I reach a hand up and pull his face down until our lips meet. Nico lets me take control of the kiss and I wonder if he really wants me to top him...and how do I feel about it. It's not something I had considered at all...but...it would be amazing I'm sure. I just hope...I hope I can make it good for him.

I start to freak out for a second as I realize it's like I'm taking his virginity. No, it is taking an aspect of his virginity.

"Are you okay?" he asks when our lips part.

"Yeah," I assure him, trying not to let him see my hesitation. He lays down on his side facing me so I turn so we're looking directly at each other.

"Are you okay with...my proposition?" he asks.

"My question is are you okay with it?" I reply. "You don't have to Nic, I'm perfectly happy with how things are."

"I do want to, I've been thinking about it and I want to feel what it's like with you...inside me," he finishes with a blush.

"I'm a little nervous," I admit, "it's your first time and I don't want to hurt your or make you uncomfortable. I want it to be as good for you as you make it for me."

"I know you will. Being close with you, intimate with you in any way is perfection." Nico trails a finger down the side of my face. "I even...um...did some preparations while you were gone." I almost choke as Nico looks away in embarrassment, but I feel my chest swell in pride because I'm making him feel all these things he makes me feel and it's a dynamic I never expected. I'm making him feel almost shy and his giving me the lead is making him blush...like a virgin. It's heady...and a big responsibility. I don't want to make him feel bad, so I don't laugh or make a big deal about it. Instead I grab his face and give him the most passionate kiss I can muster. I try to put in this kiss, not only love, but reassurances and consideration.

I want him to know how much I respect him and that he never has to worry about exposing himself to me. He can trust me with all his vulnerabilities and insecurities and I will protect that trust with everything in my heart.

And I feel the trust and respect he's giving me. Trusting me with his innermost wants and needs and respecting that I can take care of him, that I can meet those wants and needs.

I suddenly feel 10 feet taller.

"I love you Nico," I breathe.

"I love you Finn," he replies and his eyes look moist. I realize I need to make him feel safe and comfortable.

"I'll do my best not to hurt you, but you need to promise to tell me if you feel anything uncomfortable and I'll slow down or stop."

"I promise," he whispers.

Slowly I slide Nico onto his back and move so I'm hovering over him. I take his lips again with a very soft kiss, sliding my tongue inside and exploring his mouth like it's the first time. This is a new Nico and I treat him like a special gift to unwrap with patience and care. I'm going to cherish him tonight.

Nothing is rushed or pushed as I work my way down his neck and chest, giving him small open mouthed kisses, or gliding my tongue along his perfect skin. Relishing the taste and smell of my lover.

His breathing becomes faster and his lips part as he takes in the much needed oxygen, keeping up with his quickening heartbeat. I rub my hands up and down Nico's arms to reassure him and keep him relaxed. I already feel my own shaft filling, while Nico's erection presses up against my stomach.

I flick his nipples, first one and then the other spending ample time worshipping each one while peeking up under my eyelashes at Nico's face. He looks down at me in awe, like he never expected it could be like this. Like giving up yourself is more like opening yourself and in turn you receive...and I was going to show him that he deserved everything.

Moving my mouth down over his lower belly I hear a deep moan as he reaches a hand down, running his fingers through my hair. I dip my tongue into his navel and he gasps in surprise.

Nico holds his breath as I drag my tongue over his hip bones and I whisper, "breathe," to him.

Then when I lift his shaft to my mouth and take a small taste he lets out a long moan and his hands suddenly grip the sheets around him. "Relax, babe," I say softly.

I spend a long and luxuriant amount of time worshipping his beautiful cock with my mouth, moaning around his girth, stopping only to take his balls gently in my mouth and sucking them until he's a quivering mess. I don't want to push him too far so after a little while I sit up.

"Roll over," I whisper as I rub my hands up this thighs. He doesn't hesitate and while he's adjusting himself I reach over and grab the bottle of lube left discreetly on the night table behind a glass of water and some books. For now I just place it on the bed within reach. I don't need it yet.

Carefully I move his legs apart and kneel in between his knees. I rub my hands over Nico's beautiful cheeks, kneading them with my fingers. "You're so perfect," I tell him. He turns his head on its side and looks back at me, communicating only with his eyes as breathing takes precedence, coming out in quick pants.

Spreading his cheeks I let out a soft moan as I lean down and taste his most intimate part. I let my tongue soften his entrance, lapping gently before probing a little harder. Nico is making sounds I've never heard before as he groans and pants and gasps. I spend an extended amount of time with just my tongue working his tight muscle, helping him to relax and open. Letting him adjust to the soft probing.

Eventually I put some lube on my finger and begin to slightly massage his pucker. Once I feel he's ready I push it inside him just to the first knuckle eliciting a long groan of pleasure. Sliding my one digit in an out I feel him relax and place a kiss on his tailbone in praise. "That's it babe, you're doing great. Relax and let me take care of you," I whisper as he moans in response.

When I feel he's ready I curl my finger just the right way, massaging his prostate.

"Ahhhh, god...Finn," he cries out, punctuating his words with an intense groan of pure pleasure.

He tenses only slightly when I add a second finger, but with a few deep breaths he relaxes for me and I'm able to slide them around, gently stretching his walls and brushing my fingertips over his gland to keep him needy and wanting. I add a third finger to make sure he's fully prepped and run my other hand over his shaft to help ease any discomfort.

"Baby," he pleads, "I'm ready, I...need you...please." His breathing is ragged and his knees grind desperately into the mattress while his knuckles are white from gripping the sheets. He lifts himself onto his knees, his legs spread invitingly as he rests most of his weight on his elbows. "I want you now...please," he says more forcefully, but his tone is still supplicating.

I take a split second to enjoy the view, to permanently commit it to memory because I never want to forget the moment as I watch Nico fall to pieces under my hands.

I take a deep breath and pick up the lube again, taking a copious amount to smooth over his entrance before I doing the same all over my shaft, making sure to use a liberal amount. With my other hand I rub soothing circles over his lower back and tell him how much I love him. How beautiful and amazing he is, how much I want him.

I lean forward, pressing my erection into his entrance and feel his body tense. "Relax babe, I won't...go any further until you're relaxed. I don't want to hurt you. I stroke his cock and feel his muscles loosen. I hear him taking deliberate slow breaths, willing himself to ease. I push forward in miniscule increments and slowly feel him loosen around me until I break through his tight ring. He lets out a deep breath that's echoed with a moan.

I continue to pump my hand over his cock and listen carefully for any sounds of discomfort.

"Are you okay babe?"

"Mmmm, don't stop baby."

He sounds almost blissed out so I push in further until I'm fully seated. A moan over takes me and I grab his hips to steady the overwhelming pleasure that washes over my whole body, taking me by surprise.

Nico rocks his hips against me and I immediately join the cause, setting a slow pace at first, gripping his hips to keep him from going too fast too soon. Once I'm sure he's ready I pick up the pace slightly and return my left hand to his hard cock, feeling the precum dripping out of his tip.

I lean down and place several small kisses over his back before stepping up the pace.

"God...Nico, fuck," I groan as his tight walls squeeze my cock almost painfully. It's overwhelming and my hips react and thrust harder. Nico meets every one letting out small grunts as our bodies slam into each other.

It's amazing. It's like no other time I've ever topped before. There's no, no comparison. This is like other-worldly. No words could describe it.

Nico is moaning and groaning and panting and I realize that as many of the sounds I hear are coming from me.

"Babe...you're amazing..."

"Baby...I'm so close...I'm going to...ahhhh..."

Before he can finish I feel his cock pulsing in my hand and he cries out, a sound that echoes pure pleasure and ecstasy. Between his audible demonstration of rapture and the way his walls react, clenching around my cock I'm immediately drawn into my own orgasm, my body shaking against him as he milks my cock with each tremor. Our bodies shudder in harmony, our individual reactions drawing out that of the other until finally, gasping for breath, we fall into a heap on the bed.

As I slide out of him, Nico turns and pulls me into his arms. We wrap around each other, all arms and legs desperately intertwining until our bodies are fused together.

"That was..." he begins.

"Amazing..." I continue.

"Unbelievable."

"Incredible."

"Overwhelming."

"Stunning."

"I love you so much. Thank you."

"I love you...and...I should be thanking you."

I lean up and kiss him, pouring all of my love into a simple kiss. When our kiss ends I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes, listening to his heartbeat slow back down to normal.

We fall asleep, tangled together, feeling closer than ever, as if our breathing, our very beings flow together in sync.