"I can't believe we're graduating in two months."

I looked at Jaz and made a face. "Only two months until we'll never see each other again."

"What?! Who said we aren't going to hang out anymore?" She sounded genuinely appalled by the idea.

I grinned. "I was just teasing. Of course we'll hang out. Always. Besides, we'll visit each other all the time in college."

"We better," she muttered before flopping down on my bed.

I checked my watch and sighed. "Hey, I have to leave. I'm going to the hospital."

She shot up and anxiously looked at me. "Again? Why?"

"Because–" I bit my tongue. I wasn't going to tell her that I was visiting Ben. She didn't know about all the gang stuff, only that Dean used to be in one. She believed the reason I got kidnapped was because of one of my dad's enemies. She didn't even know the full story about Ben. "Because I just need to go for a follow-up."

Her gaze softened as she pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry. Do you want me to come with you?"

Damn it! She was an amazing friend. How could I just lie to her?

I shook my head. "No. You'll just be bored." Then, out of guilt, I told her something else. Something that was safe. "While I'm there, I'm thinking to see if they have a good psychologist office on site."

Her brows raised slightly. Hearing the words come out of my mouth was weird, even for me. I hadn't admitted I was going to until just now.

"You're going to therapy?"

"Maybe," I mumbled, embarrassed. "Reece had told me I should... something about too much unprocessed trauma."

She nodded. "First the shooting, then Dean getting shot, now this? I can imagine."

I shrugged. "Yeah..."

"Well, I'm glad. I hope it works out for you." She cupped my cheek before dropping her hand. "Alright, I'll get out of your hair. We should have a sleepover soon."

"Definitely." Maybe then I could confess everything to her. Maybe.

As soon as she left, I slowly snuck out of the house. It wasn't like I was grounded or anything... More like house arrest. The shooting was one thing, but kidnapping? I was screwed. My parents didn't trust me to go anywhere, which sucked. So, I had to sneak out.

I looked at my beautiful car, which was recovered from the coffee shop parking lot after I had frantically begged my parents. My poor baby was just out in the cold, alone and scared. "You're safe now," I whispered as I stepped in.

The drive to the hospital took longer than normal. Since my parents didn't know where I was, I decided to drive extra carefully as to not get into a crash. If I did, I'd never be allowed to leave again.

I didn't need directions to Ben's room, thanks to Skylar. After she had visited me that night, she left back for Chicago. Reece, too. He had come to say his goodbyes, remind me about therapy, and apologized profusely because I'd been kidnapped right after our little meetup. He blamed himself, which I thought was stupid. It would've happened anywhere. We bid our goodbyes for a second time before he left, promising to keep in touch.

Ben's room came into view. I took a deep breath before knocking. I wasn't able to visit him since I was discharged because of my parents. Plus the stress of the police and all the legal jargon drained me. All I wanted to do was sleep. Then after I was rested, they watched me like a hawk. Today was the only day I could be free. My dad had to head into his firm for some paperwork and my mom had a call-in case she couldn't skip. It was pure luck.

"Come in."

I slowly opened the door and peeked my head in. Much to my surprise, Ben wasn't alone. His father was at the foot of his bed, talking with him. Both of their heads whipped up to me. Mr. Stark mimicked my shocked expression.

"I'm sorry... I can come back later." I awkwardly attempted to leave again when his dad called out to me.

"No, wait. Please, come in," he beckoned, looking as confused as I felt. "Um, I'll give you two kids some alone time. Benny, I'll be in the hall."

"Okay, dad," Ben replied. Once his dad was gone, he eyed me. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I–? Ben! Your dad's here! He actually showed! Holy shit! Has he been here the whole time?" I excitedly walked over to his bed and plopped down on the edge of it.

"All it took was getting my fingers broken," he replied with mock-enthusiasm.

"Yeah," I grimaced. "How are you doing? How are things?"

He lifted up his casted hands, making me wince. "As good as they can get. I suppose I should be grateful they didn't do worse." Then his gaze softened. "How are you?"

"Me? Pfft. You know me. Resilient as ever. It's gonna take more than a creep to bring me down!"

He softly laughed. My heart panged. I didn't realize how much I had missed the sound.

I gasped and quickly brought my bag to my chest. He skeptically eyed it as I pulled out something and thrust it into his arms.

He looked down, then back up at me. "My coat?"

"Please, take it. I'm begging you," I groaned before grinning. "I also sprayed it with my perfume so it'll smell like me."

A faint blush dusted his face, making me snicker into my palm. I knew he'd blush. I bet he'd smell it when I wasn't looking, just like I did to Dean's clothes.

"T-thanks."

"No. Thank you for taking it out of my hands. Seriously, it made me so guilty to have in the back of my closet."

He rolled his eyes as he folded it neatly and set it on his bedside table. "Only you'd be bothered by that."

I grinned and ruffled his dirty blond hair before sighing. "So, what's next for you? I'm assuming you aren't going back..."

He shrugged. "Well, my dad's actually worried for me. He's taking me traveling with him for a while, at least long enough to where Don will hopefully forget about me."

"Wow," I said in surprise. "That's good! You'll finally get that father-son bond."

He chuckled. "Let's not take it that far yet."

I shrugged. I thought it was great that Ben was finally getting what he deserved. All he wanted was to be noticed by his dad and now that was happening. It sucked that the circumstances were horrid, but he knew what he was getting into when he joined a gang in the first place.

"So... what about you?"

I looked up at him. "Huh?"

"I know your dad was offering to take Dean's case, and I know Dean isn't pressing charges against me and–"

"Woah, woah, woah. What? My dad did what?"

His eyes widened in panic. "Erm... you didn't know?"

I frantically shook my head. What was he going on about?

"Well, Dean came to me after that night and explained how your dad offered to help represent him legally, but he didn't want it because then all the gang stuff would be exposed so he turned it down."

My jaw was to the floor. I had no idea about any of this! Dean got shot like almost two weeks ago! How did everyone manage to hide this from me? Ohhh man, they were going to hear it from me.

"Let's not talk about depressing stuff," I managed to choke out.

Ben sympathetically smiled before patting my leg with his casted hand. We both looked down at it and grimaced. That sucked.

"Sure. How's everything else going?"

"I'm practically on house arrest," I explained with a frown. "My parents don't even know I'm here. Which means I should probably leave soon... When are you being discharged?"

"No idea, but as soon as I am, my dad's sweeping me away in his private jet."

"You have a private jet?" I gasped before realizing it wasn't that extreme for him. His dad was rich as hell! "Stark, I'll never not be jealous of you."

His gray eyes shone. "You called me Stark!"

"Uh... yeah?"

"I just... I never thought you'd forgive me."

My brows raised in surprise. I went to grab his hand before remembering it was all wrapped up. I settled for gently resting my hand on top of his. "Ben, I was never mad. I didn't want to know it was you, but I understood. It's not like you did it willingly. Plus you missed, so..."

"Good," he exhaled.

"Plus," I added with a grin. "If it weren't for me, you'd probably be lying dead on the floor right now."

His smile turned sheepish. "Ah, yeah. I forgot about that..." A small furrow appeared between his eyebrows. "But Bella, what you did was incredibly stupid. You should've escaped when you had the chance. I was ready to die anyway."

I rolled my eyes. So dramatic. "Ben, I wasn't going to leave you there by yourself. I'm not cruel... Then your jacket would never return to you."

His jaw dropped.

"I'm kidding!" I laughed. "You're my friend, Benny. I wouldn't want you to die like that." Aaand I was totally going to die in your place.

"Well, thanks. If it makes you feel better, I've never met anyone as selfless as you."

I did a small bow. "Why, thank you!"

My phone buzzed in my bag. Plucking it out, I saw it was a text from Justin, letting me know that our dad was on his way home. He knew I would occasionally sneak out. How? I didn't know. At least he warned me when I was about to be caught. I scowled at the message before pocketing my phone.

"I have to go." I looked up at him with a hopeful expression. "Any chance we'll keep in touch?"

"Okay," he said, surprising me.

"Really?!"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Now that I'm done with Don, it wouldn't hurt. Besides, he knows everything so there's nothing to hide."

Standing up, I reached over and ruffled his hair. "Atta boy! It was nice seeing you again, even in terrible circumstances. I hope we'll meet again. If you're ever down here, give me a call."

"Bye, Wilks. Thank you for everything."

"You too, Stark. You too."

For once in my life, I felt like I had closure with Ben Stark. I couldn't guarantee he'd ever call me or even think about me, but seeing that he made the effort to spare my feelings by lying was enough. Yes, I hoped he would call, but I was just glad he was going to be okay.

~~~

Somehow I'd managed to beat my dad home and pretend I was asleep when he came by the check up on me. Nobody even hinted at suspicions during dinner. Once I went to my room for the night, I let out a final breath of relief. I was good. No trouble here.

I didn't get to ask the hospital about any psychologists because of my dad coming home but I hoped I'd be able to get in touch with one soon. Reece was right. I really needed to at least attempt to care about myself.

Being kidnapped was a real eye-opener. Weird, but true. The fact that I had taken the situation so lightly and even managed to treat my death as nonchalantly as I did was not healthy. I was barely scared. That wasn't normal! I needed to start taking things in my life more seriously, especially if I was going to have Dean in my life. It was clear that his past wasn't going anywhere. I just had to deal with it.

In a healthy way, of course.

Plus I promised Reece I would try. He did emotionally blackmail me by reminding me that he was in an 'oh-so-dangerous gang' and didn't know if the next time I'd see him would be at his funeral.

Idiot.

But it worked.

"Hi."

I jumped and covered my thumping heart. "Dean! You scared the shit outta me," I hissed.

He casually leaned back on my bed. "You should really lock your window."

"You should really respect privacy," I retorted before walking up to him. He sat up as I straddled him, circling my arms around his neck. "I missed you."

As I leaned in to kiss him, he dodged me. "Arabella."

"What?" I asked, hiding the hurt I was feeling. Ever since that day in the hospital, Dean wouldn't kiss me properly. He'd throw around a few quick pecks but that's it. Even when we were alone in my room together. I wasn't sure exactly why he was avoiding me but it was super discouraging.

"I need to tell you something."

My stomach sank. This did not sound good. Those words never meant anything well, especially when they came out of Dean's mouth. And based on his serious expression, he definitely wasn't planning to surprise me with a puppy.

"Wait, I need to ask you something," I interrupted, partly because I didn't want to know what he was going to say.

He narrowed his eyes at me. I decided to unlatch from him and opted to sitting on the bed, criss-cross. At least that way I could avoid his eyes when it was his turn to speak.

"Why didn't you tell me that my dad offered to help you?"

He tensed. "Who told you about that?" When I only offered him a flat look, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Arabella, I–"

"I thought we were done keeping secrets."

"I didn't tell you because I didn't accept his offer."

I figured as much. It didn't mean that it still didn't hurt. "Why not?" I asked, throwing up my hands in exasperation. "You could've ended this all! We could've been safe and sound while Don was rotting in jail!"

The frustration was was bubbling in my veins. Everything seemed so easy. If Dean had just accepted my dad's help, everything would've been sunshine and rainbows. I wouldn't have to worry about a semi-psychotic man repeatedly targeting me for the rest of eternity.

He softened, scooting closer to me and pulling me into his chest. "Because not only would Don not have been caught, but Ben would've gotten into trouble."

I ignored the second part, even though it warmed me that he saved Ben's name. "Why not?"

A deep sigh rumbled through his body. "Because gangs don't work like that. We know how to hide evidence, how to pretend like everything is legal. Don's probably long gone by now. Even if we did take him to court, we had no proof."

"And the only proof you would have is Ben, who either would've denied the charges or been sent to jail," I concluded.

"Yes."

Pulling away, I looked into his eyes. "But you still should've told me. I feel like I should've had a say in the matter."

"I didn't want you to have a choice." His gaze burned into mine. "Because you'd feel guilty for whatever you choose. I chose for you."

Ugh. I loved this man.

When I smiled, he sagged from relief. I cupped his cheek and slowly leaned in. For a second I thought he'd finally kiss me, but then he abruptly turned his head, giving me the cheek instead.

"Okay, what is it now?" I frustratedly asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're obviously pissed at me. What did I do?"

"I'm not pissed."

"Then why won't you kiss me?" I practically shouted. Never had I ever thought I was going to sound this desperate in my entire life.

He took a deep breath before patting the spot next to him. I childishly walked over to the chair by my desk and sat down with my arms crossed over my chest. He rolled his eyes, not looking amused in the slightest.

I gulped.

"I need to tell you something and you have to promise not to freak out, okay?" He spoke to me like he was speaking to a child.

My scowl only grew.

"I've been doing some thinking."

Uh oh. Dean and thinking wasn't a good mix, mostly because he often came to decisions without me.

"I'm leaving, Arabella. For good this time."

My breath caught in my throat. When I looked up at him, he was intensely looking back. There wasn't a trace of humor in his expression. In fact, it was the most serious he had ever been. No mention of a break, no mention of a short trip.

For good.

"My entire family is leaving. They're selling the diner and the house," he added. "Nat and Damien are staying but the rest of us are moving."

I couldn't make sense out of what he was saying. Normally when he'd leave, it would just be him. The fact that his parents were also leaving... and selling their restaurant...

"Why?" I whispered, still slightly in shock.

He gave me a look. "Because. All I do is drag you into life-threatening shit. I'm so sick and tired of hurting you."

My heart pounded against my ribcage. "It's not your fault! And it's over now! Don's not going to come back!"

Dean grimaced. "We both know that's not true. If not Don, then it'll be someone else. Arabella, I'll never escape this shit."

This couldn't be real this couldn't be real this couldn't be real.

Tears started blurring my vision. "But..." I hated this. I hated the way my voice quivered. I hated how he could bring me to tears with a single statement. I hated that he had so much power to hurt me and he always did. I always let him.

"I can't." His pained voice matched his eyes. "I can't hurt you like this. You almost died because of me."

"Don't you realize that this is hurting me more?!" I angrily asked.

In one swift motion, he kneeled in front of me. His thumbs wiped the tears away and didn't stray from my face. "I know, but you'll forget about me one day. You'll move on and live a happy life, one that doesn't put you in danger."

I highly doubted it. How was I supposed to forget someone like Dean? How was I supposed to forget this heartbreak? It literally felt like someone was squeezing my heart until it exploded.

I knew high school relationships weren't guaranteed, but I wanted it to work with Dean. I wanted to try, to grow old and tell our grandchildren that we were high school sweethearts. Could you blame me? He was my first love and that emotion felt deliciously crippling at all times. 

I shook my head. "I don't care, Dean! I'd gladly deal with a hundred Dons if it meant being with you."

His jaw pulsed. "That's the point! This has gotten unhealthy for you. Why would you even consider that? It's not normal."

"Nothing about us is normal."

"And you deserve normal."

"Normal is boring," I desperately added.

He didn't respond.

"Dean, if you leave I'll hate you forever," I whispered.

He shrunk back. "I'll hate myself forever if something happened to you."

A steady stream of tears trickled down my face. Before I knew it, I began spewing words I didn't mean. "You always leave. You're a coward, you know? You left the gang, you left me. You always run."

"I know," he winced, as if my words caused him physical pain. "And I'll keep running if it keeps my loved ones safe."

"Dean," I whispered. My heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest. This wasn't happening. Everything was good! The worst of it was over! Why now?

"Arabella," he mumbled painfully. It hurt so bad. "I'm sorry. You know I have to do this."

"You used to be so selfish. What happened?"

He wryly smiled. "I learned from the best."

"Be selfish," I begged. "Dean, please. I can't do this again. I can't have you leaving when things are going good."

He hadn't even left yet and I felt my soul dying.

"But they're not, though!" He stood up and frustratedly ran a hand through his hair. "I got shot and you got kidnapped within weeks of each other! In what world is that good, Arabella? Do you see what I mean? Your standards have changed so much to be with me! I'm killing you without even trying."

I frowned. I didn't feel like that at all. If anything, Dean was raising the standards. "That's not true."

He looked at me in disbelief. "Tell me, then. Why do you flinch every time you hear a loud noise? Why do you get panic attacks when you go to the park? Why are you losing sleep over me? I'm draining the life from your soul, Bella. And none of this would've happened if I had just stayed away."

"Dean, none of those were your fault!"

"They were! They are." He sighed again. "This is all my fault."

"I don't... I don't understand what's going on right now." Everything just felt so sudden. Besides the kissing, I didn't have any signs that this was going to happen.

He flashed me a pained expression before kneeling down once again. "I'm leaving. I'm forcing myself out of your life. You should have whirlwind romances, fun dates, spontaneous plans. All I've given you was anxiety and PTSD. You don't deserve all of this." He attempted to smile but it came out shaky. "Besides, it wouldn't have worked in college anyway. You would've been out partying and I'd be a jealous asshole who held you back."

"Dean."

"Arabella, please stop making this harder than it has to be."

I blinked away the tears to see his face. To truly see it. He may not have been crying, but he looked just as hurt as me. His eyes were red with dark circles under them. The green of his irises was dull and lifeless.

He meant this. He meant every word. And it hurt him just as bad as it hurt me.

"I really will hate you if you leave." Lie.

He smiled sadly. "I know."

"You promised me you'd never leave again."

"I did. And now I'm breaking that promise. But I also promised I'd tell you things, so I'm telling you this instead of just leaving."

A humorless laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it. "Am I supposed to appreciate that? Am I supposed to be grateful that you're dumping me again?! You know, I don't get you. One minute you're convincing me I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you in your life and the next you're dropping me like a hat."

He urgently took my hands in his. "You are the best thing that's happened to me. That's why I need to let you go."

My heart was shattering. I didn't even care that he saw me like this. At this point, I didn't care about anything. He was just leaving me. This was it.

My voice suddenly went cold as I realized he had the upper hand. He was going to leave whether I wanted or not. "When you say 'let me go', it has to be permanent. No spying on me, no coming and going as you please. I can't do this anymore. It's exhausting, waiting to see if every time you leave, you'll come back. If you leave, it's forever."

His face slackened. I could sense the internal debate he was having, but there was no argument here. We both knew I was right. If he wanted to leave, it was forever. I couldn't play this stupid game anymore. My heart couldn't take it. Seeing that I didn't have a choice on whether he could stay, it only seemed fitting to not give him an option to come back.

"Arabella–"

I threw up a hand, effectively silencing him. "No, Dean. This is it." The free-falling tears on my face contradicted the cold exterior I was trying to put up.

"Okay."

My eyes shut as I tried to compose myself. This was it.

His hand slowly cupped my cheek, as if asking for permission. I stayed still. My eyes fluttered closed as his lips slowly approached mine.

The kiss was salty. My tears mingled with his skin. Our lips met with urgency. We didn't hold back this time.

Because it was my last time kissing Dean.

~

Ummm, yeah. So the epilogue will be up in a few days...

Could you blame me for this? It's realistic and it's Dean. He's a runner.