The white numbers on my car's dashboard informed me I had fifteen minutes to relax before I had to trudge back into the depths of hell – AKA school.

Exhaling loudly, I turned up the volume of my music and leaned back.

Seconds later, my passenger side door opened. I could smell the cologne before I opened my eyes, and it was a pretty strong indicator of who was intruding on my time.

"You're having your vibe time! That's a good sign things are getting back to normal," Dylan said as he settled in the seat, closing the door. He shifted a little and I heard the sound of my bag being placed in the back seat.

I didn't bother opening my eyes. "You remember the rules." The rules I was referring to were mainly no talking and no touching the volume knob. If I wanted to talk, I wouldn't keep the music up so loud. It was my version of 'me time' and I didn't want anyone to bother me. They were free to join but only Dylan usually did because he was the only one who followed the rules.

The smart boy knew to keep his mouth shut instead of replying. He grumbled something under his breath but I couldn't make it out over Still Woozy playing through the speakers. Man I loved that singer.

Time flew by quickly. Five minutes before the first bell was going to ring, Dylan poked me in the cheek. I swatted his hand away and sighed before cutting the engine. He met me outside the car, holding my bag and his.

We made our way to my locker. I wasn't really sure if Dylan ever used his considering I never saw him there. He leaned against the lockers, making flirty eyes with girls while I exchanged my stuff.

A small piece of paper flew out of my locker and onto the floor. Furrowing my brow, I picked it up. When I went to stand up again, the bottom of the locker door met straight with the top of my head. "Fuck!" I winced.

Dylan pulled away from his silent flirting and looked at me with concern. "Jeez, Bellz. What happened?"

I rubbed the sore spot and felt relief when it wasn't bleeding. It still hurt like a bitch though. "I was bending down and I didn't see the door."

He held my head and inspected the top, his height giving him a good advantage. He then attempted to rub it to subside the pain. "You have to be careful next time."

"Okay, mom," I snorted, earning a not-so-nice look from him. I managed to pry his hands off my head. It felt good but I couldn't stand here all day. "I'm okay, don't worry."

"Are you sure you don't wanna go to the nurse?"

Since when had Dylan been such a worrywart? I laughed and shook my head. "Relax, I'm not concussed or anything." His stern look didn't fade so I added, "If I feel weird, I promise I'll go to the nurse."

He hesitantly nodded and moved away so I could finish exchanging my stuff. Then we linked arms and walked to English, him still carrying my bag. He kept nervously glancing at my head, which made me roll my eyes. So dramatic.

It wasn't until my teacher was droning away about Pride and Prejudice did I remember the cause of my now pounding head. Not gonna lie, it was hurting like hell. Not enough to be concerned, but enough to make me feel like taking a nap.

I unwrinkled the small paper. It was about the size of a gum wrapper. In it were scribbled two words:

'I'm sorry.'

My brows furrowed. There was no sign of knowing who wrote this. Was this a mistake? Knowing me, probably not. Everything usually happened for a reason. Besides, I could think of a million people who would've apologized to me.

My first suspect was Andrew. Maybe he was apologizing for his unreasonable anger directed toward me?

I shook my head. Drew lived right next door. If he wanted to apologize, he would've come over or stuck a sticky note on my backdoor. It couldn't have been him.

Still, I leaned over toward Dylan. "Hey, do you know if Drew's still mad at me?"

The teacher sent us both warning glances before continuing the lesson. I wasn't even sure how she heard me but whatever. When we were in the clear, he leaned over and whispered, "He didn't really say anything." Then his eyes softened. "Bella, we talked about this."

"No, no, it's not because I'm waiting around. I was just curious," I dismissed. He warily nodded but didn't argue. It wouldn't make good conversation for now anyway.

I looked at the paper again. It couldn't be Reece. He had no reason to apologize. If he did, it might've been for forcing me into the mission, but it's not like he played a huge role in my decision in the first place. Besides, I knew what his handwriting looked like.

Then there was Dean. It was plausible he could have written this. It made sense too. He had a lot to apologize for, but most likely it was about the fact that he decided to play fake-boyfriend without my consent.

I wonder what Skylar thought about that.

I didn't want to rule out Drew though. Maybe he was too much of a chicken to confront me in person. Maybe Dylan smacked some sense into him. I highly doubted that possibility but I never knew with him.

Sighing, I shoved the small note into the front pocket of my backpack. This was a problem for later. Besides, if someone didn't sign it, something told me they didn't wanna be found.

~~~

My headache persisted as the day went on but I was too busy being stressed about the note to notice. At lunch, when I passed Andrew, I tried to catch his eye. He was too busy talking with his friends to notice me. Surprisingly, he quickly fell into his old habits. According to Dylan, he began rotating between girls once again.

As weird as it is, I was glad. Now I didn't feel guilty about stringing him along, even though everyone told me I didn't. I believe Jaz called him an 'incel'. I had to look up the definition on Urban Dictionary but everyone's agreement made me realize she was probably right.

I didn't tell anyone about the note. I wasn't sure why.

"Alright, I'm going to my locker. I'll meet you guys in class," I announced, standing up from the table. The sudden action made my head spin for a second but I quickly supported myself by gripping the edges of the table.

"Don't hurt yourself," Dylan teased, oblivious to my current state. Once I was stable, I gave him a mocking smile.

With every step I took toward my locker, the pain in my head increased. Not only that, but I was getting dizzier by the second. White spots flashed in my eyes and I had to shake my head to get rid of them. But doing that only made my skull hurt more.

Only a few more steps.

Relief flooded through me as I reached my locker. I rested my head on the cool metal. It should have felt good, but it felt like my brain was doused in ice-water.

I quickly pulled my head away and shook my head to get rid of the fuzzies clouding my vision. I was sure I didn't hit my head that hard on the locker... 

Did I?

Blinking rapidly, I once again rested my head on the metal. It felt like I was being stabbed by an icicle over and over again. But my head felt too heavy to lift up on its own.

What the hell is happening?

I took a shaky breath and closed my eyes. I just needed to wait a moment and this would all pass soon. It's like when sometimes you stand up too quickly and your vision goes black for a second. Yeah, that's it.

The sound of blood rushing to my ears blocked out every other noise, including the footsteps coming toward me. Even with my eyes shut, the white fuzzies didn't disappear. The pain increased tenfold. Dizziness was overpowering all my senses.

"Arabella? Are you okay?"

I tried to nod but then everything went black. The last thing I felt was a pair of arms around me.

~~~

When I woke up, the pain was gone. I thought hitting the floor after fainting would have a bigger effect on me, but I guess not.

Wait. Fainting? Headache?

My body shot up into an upright position. I took in my surroundings and sighed in relief when I realized I was in my room.

This was good, right? Dylan probably saw me fainting in the hall and brought me home.

But Dylan doesn't call you 'Arabella'.

And as much as I wanted to deny the fact that Dean brought me home, I noticed he was sitting on the edge of my bed.

As if he sensed my stare, or he heard me sit up, he turned around and defensively put his hands up. "Look, look, I know I'm the last person you want to see, but I couldn't just leave you there."

I almost laughed in amusement at how defensive he looked. What, did he think I was going to castrate him for being nice?

"Dean, it's fine," I laughed, bringing the color back to his pale face. "Seriously, I'd hate you if you left me there. Knowing Westcreek, I'd be trampled to death."

He laughed in agreement but I could still see his wariness. I couldn't blame him. We were on rocky terms and I almost hated his guts. Then he sobered up a little. "What happened?"

"Oh, you know, I hit my head on my locker. Just daily things."

His brows furrowed in confusion but that was all I was going to say on the topic. I didn't wanna embarrass myself more them I already had by fainting.

Oh my god I fainted straight into his arms, didn't I?

As if he could read my thoughts, he smirked. It was a small one, but I noticed it anyway.

Then the words left my mouth before I could think this over. "Were you the one who left a note in my locker?"

The sudden confusion on his face was enough of an answer for me. So if he didn't, then it must've been Andrew, right? But why didn't he just see me in person? He never hesitated to before. Was he scared I wouldn't forgive him?

"No... what note?" Dean finally asked.

"It was an apology note. I just thought you were the one who wrote it considering that stunt you pulled at your house." I sent him a pointed look but it wasn't as harsh as I wanted it to be. Truth was, I was a little exhausted even though I just woke up.

His smile split into a lazy grin. "Nah, I wouldn't apologize. I don't regret it." Ah, Dean. Cocky as usual.

I raised a brow. "Wouldn't Skylar care that you're parading around as my boyfriend?" Crap! I really didn't want to bring up Skylar. Not only did I sound jealous, but I really didn't wanna hear the stuff that happened between them. Ignorance was total bliss when it came to your ex's new relationship.

He blinked at me, then slowly asked, "Why would Skylar care?"

Fuck it. Her name already slipped out so I might as well get this over with. "Because you guys are dating? Or hooking up? Whatever." I wasn't really sure what their labels were.

"Are you jealous?" His eyes shone with amusement.

"No!" I said quickly, a little too quickly. "I mean, isn't she the reason we broke up in the first place? I just figured you guys would be dating by now. Unless... you're too scared to ask her out?"

He loudly groaned and fell backward on the bed. I moved my feet before he could crush them under the blanket. He then covered his face with his forearms. I didn't know what I expected him to respond with, but not what he said. "You're so dense."

Dense? Me? Huh, I didn't know.

Note the sarcasm.

"First of all, my heads hurting too much for this so stop with the cryptic messages," I said, massaging my now throbbing temples. I knew the pain was slowly coming back because I wasn't sugarcoating things today. Screw not being blunt! "And secondly, just tell me what you mean."

He sat up and sent me an incredulous look, with which I replied with my unamused one. Didn't we already establish I was always the assuming type?

"I didn't break up with you so I could get with Skylar."

Oh. OH. 

Wait, what?

"Huh?"

He shook his head and scooted closer. He was still sitting on the edge of the bed but his body was angled toward me. "Damn, I forgot you're bad at putting two and two together."

"If we're going to sit here and insult me all day, the door is that way," I replied, stubbornly crossing my arms. Secretly, I hoped he would stay. Maybe, for once, he'd answer my questions without being difficult.

A million thoughts roamed in his head as he contemplated what to say. He stood up and my heart stopped, thinking he was actually going to leave. Then, he began to pace around the room.

"You're going to be mad at me," he said, pausing his pace to look at me.

I snorted. "Not as much as I already am."

"You might," he muttered to himself, but I still heard. He resumed his pacing and tugged on his hair as he did. He was stressed.

I didn't know what was so bad though. I mean, assuming I was his second choice was bad enough. I couldn't think of anything that could top this.

But I was wrong.

"I broke up with you so you wouldn't go through with the mission."

I blinked. One. Twice. Three times. 

What? I clearly hadn't heard him correctly. Did he say–

Within a flash, I was standing in front of him, regardless of my throbbing head. "What?"

He looked taken aback by my sudden movement. "I–I just...I figured you wouldn't go through with it if I wasn't in the picture. So I was an ass–"

And for the third time in my life, I hit someone.

The sound of a smack echoed throughout the room, followed by my heavy breathing. Dean looked shocked as he cradled his red cheek.

I let out a humorless laugh. "I can't believe it. I can't. Seriously. I really thought we were over this phase. I thought you trusted me enough to handle myself." Now, I was the one pacing. "You're so immature. So immature! What the hell? How many times are you going to play this stupid game?"

He stood in front of me and held me by the shoulders. "Look, it was dumb, I admit. But I thought you would've backed down! Then Sky," he paused. "Sky told me that you were still doing it."

That traitor! I had my doubts but I really thought I was wrong.

As if he could read my thoughts, he continued with a pleading tone. "Reece was in on it too. When I found out, I made him promise to watch your every step."

My legs felt like jello. I took a shaky step back and sat on my bed. I clutched my head in my hands, grabbing fistfuls of hair. "So what you're saying is... this was a stupid game to you and I was a pawn?"

He knelt in front of me and tilted my chin up to meet his eyes. I smacked his hand away but kept my eyes on his face, looking for any sort of emotion. Along with hurt, I could see his frustration. "No! Why would you even think that?"

"Isn't that exactly what this is?" I said bitterly. "You've done this so many times. How many times will it make you realize that this shit isn't in your control? You don't own me." He winced at my words but the anger made me continue. "You don't control the things I do. And if you thought breaking up with me would change anything, I guess you don't know me as well as you thought."

"Arabella, please," he pleaded, grabbing my hands that rested in my lap. "I just wanted to keep you safe."

"Well, mission accomplished." My tone was laced with sarcasm. "And ironically, you weren't the asshole that made stop this stupid mission."

His features darkened. "What happened that night?"

"Why don't you go ask your girlfriend? I'm sure she'll tell you everything." I hadn't actually told Reece and Skylar the reason I was stopping. I just said I saw things I never wanted to see and hoped they'd understand. I think they did. Or they just felt sorry for me.

He let out a frustrated groan. "I'm not dating Sky!" His eyes burned into mine. "Babe, I promise, I was only doing this for you."

"Don't call me that," I hissed. "And funnily enough, that's the same thing I said when I told Reece I'd do it."

"It's just... Ben..."

Another wry laugh left my lips. "What? Were you jealous? Maybe I wouldn't have crawled to him if you just explained everything instead of going behind my back. We could've worked together! But no, that's not what this relationship is, is it? You'll never see me as an equal."

I shook my head. That's always how things have been. Dean would spontaneously make a decision about us and leave me hanging. I was stupid to think things would change. It happened a million times before. What was different now?

"Bella, please," he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. "I–I never meant for you to find out."

"Thanks, that makes me feel so much better," I rolled my eyes.

"Fuck. That's not what I meant!" He frustratedly tugged at his hair. "I told you we were going on a break. I meant it. I thought after you dropped the mission, I'd apologize with a gesture or something. I didn't expect things to get so fucked up or for you to fall right into his arms."

I chose to ignore the last part. "So what–you think I'm easy? That a bouquet of flowers would make everything okay?"

Panic flashed in his eyes. "No! Not at all–fuck. I'm fucking this all up."

"You are."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Before I knew it, his mouth was against mine.

Shock. That's all I felt.

Everything came rushing back to me. The way his mouth perfectly molded to mine, the taste of his spearmint tongue, the way his hands gently caressed me. My hands twitched to reach into his hair but they stopped at his chest.

All I needed to do was push away. One single push and he'd be off of me.

So why didn't I do it yet?

Skylar, Ben, the stupid mission, being a stupid pawn in his plan.

All the reasons to hate him came back and I pushed him away. I stared at him in disbelief but his eyes were still closed. He looked content. Not smug, not upset, just happy.

When his eyes fluttered open, he smiled. "I've been wanting to do that forever."

I stood up, suddenly needing to be as far away from him as possible. As much as I hated it, I enjoyed that kiss way too much. That wasn't good. I was supposed to be hating him. Especially for his reasoning.

So why did I feel like forgiving him?

Flustered, I went to my closet and dug out workout clothes. I heard him padding behind me. When he saw the clothes in my hands, he tsked. "No. You just woke up from fainting. You're not working out."

Crap. He was right. What if I was hallucinating? Or still unconscious?

"This is all a dream. It has to be," I spoke out loud, pinching myself.

It wasn't a dream.

"Arabella," he said softly, grabbing the clothes from my hands and putting them on the dresser. "Look, I know it's fucked up. I can safely say I regret breaking up with you because it was useless anyway."

He was right. It did absolutely nothing. If anything, it only fueled my hate for Ben. I only wanted to hurt him because of his resemblance to Dean and by doing so, I felt like I was causing Dean pain indirectly.

"You can't tell me that kiss didn't mean anything," he continued.

I debated lying but what good would that do? The kiss meant everything. "I–I need time to think things over." All I knew was that I wanted him out. Gone. I needed to breathe.

He gently shook his head. "You just woke up and no one's here to take care of you."

"I'm fine now," I huffed, not really sounding fine. The fatigue was getting to me.

He rolled his eyes and gently grabbed my wrists. "No, you're not." 

I didn't have the energy to protest. I let him drag me back to my bed. Hell, I even let him tuck me in.

I only opened my mouth to argue when he got in bed with me. "What're you doing?"

"What does it look like? I'm taking a nap."

"No, go sleep in another room! Or the couch!"

He rolled his eyes and didn't listen. As he crawled in bed, I faced the other direction so I wouldn't face him. Why I didn't push him off, I don't know.

I nearly jumped when his arms wrapped around me and I was pressed into a hard chest. "Dean," I sighed.

"Shh, no talking. Only sleeping," he mumbled into my hair.

Wait, what the hell? Why was I being so compliant with this? Did I forget how much I hated him?

Much to his surprise, I shifted in his arms so we were face to face. The shock was evident when I did and it only grew when I approached his lips with mine. When his eyes fluttered closed, I pulled my head back and kneed him where the sun didn't shine.

Man, I was assaulting him a lot today. He deserved it though.

"Fuck," he hissed, letting go of me and hunching over in a fetal position. Smirking, I crawled out of bed.

As I reached the door, I smiled. "I'm still mad at you. Don't test me."

"Got it," he croaked, in obvious pain.

Satisfied, I went downstairs to appease my growling stomach. At least the throbbing behind my eyes was going away.