Oh my gosh it's a sunset chapter.

And my emotions are kind of everywhere right now.

So this is going to be interesting.

So the image above is the sunset image (from the Amalfi Coast, in Campania, where they're staying) that I thought works best wtih this story. I went through many, many photos. True, this isn't the most dramatic photo, but it doesn't have to be. This is the one that's true to their experience.

Oh, to say I'm ready for this would be a lie.

But saying that I am going to love every second writing this won't be.

Enjoy! :)

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Antonio and Sean now have plenty of time to unpack the car and stretch and go for a nice solid run after all that sitting in a car for literal hours.

Now it's 8:30 pm, and they're watching the beginning of the sunset.

Antonio loves the sunset.

He loves all the different colors, and what the sky looks like at each time of the sunset.

Right now, the sky is a brilliant golden overhead, just as the sun is beginning to go down.

Especially sunsets over the water. Like the sunsets over the water happening right here, right now.

He smiles.

He glances at Sean. He's smiling at it too.

They sit together in peaceful silence.

Until, naturally, on an impulse, Antonio breaks the silence.

"So, where do you want to have your last dinner in Italy later tonight?"

Sean looks at him. Antonio's eyes dart away.

"How well do you cook?" Sean asks curiously.

"I--what?"

"I know that Italians being really good at cooking is a stereotype, but honestly I'd ask this no matter what: how well do you cook?"

"...Are you suggesting you want to eat here tonight?"

"Well, it just occurred to me that I've been in Italy a little over a week and I've never had a homemade meal," Sean says. "If you are a good cook, I was hoping my last dinner in Italy could be meaningful--and home-made by someone I care about. I can't think of anything better."

Antonio is touched by all that.

"Unless you're a terrible cook," Sean adds quickly, jokingly. "Then we can eat out."

"I can cook," Antonio responds immediately. He puffs out his chest. "You shall not be disappointed stanotte quando mangiamo."

Sean grins. "Sounds great."

"So we can go back in and eat whenever you're hungry."

"Alright. Maybe later--I don't feel that hungry right now."

"Me neither. And maybe I can teach you a recipe or two," Antonio suggests. "For you to take home with you." Then quieter, "something to remember all of this by."

"I'll never forget any of this," Sean tells him genuinely. "Not any of what I've seen, what I've done, anything. That includes you. I am never forgetting you."

While grateful, Antonio fails to find the right words to respond with.

"Things are gonna be different when you leave," Antonio comments finally, looking back out over the water. He can't look at Sean right now. "Very different."

Sean sighs. "It will, definitely."

"It's just ... when you leave..." Antonio tries to find the right words, but can't quite figure out how to phrase it. "Cosa significa per noi?"

What does it mean for us?

Sean sighs. "I don't know. I truly don't know."

It's obvious that neither are entirely happy with the situation. They've grown so close in such short amount of time. What will it be like when their lives go back to normal?

What was "normal" in the first place?

"I mean, I know it's unrealistic," Antonio continues, not entirely controlling the words he's saying, "to just expect you to stay here. I mean, I know you have a life in Brooklyn, and how just dropping everything and moving to another country is easier said than done, but this has been the best week of my life, and the idea that you're leaving and I have no idea if or when I'll see you again..." he trails off. "I am so sorry. I said way too much. You ... didn't need to hear all that."

"Has anyone told you that it's okay to be honest?" Sean returns in a dry tone, but not with any real criticism.

They both chuckle at that.

"But really," Sean continues, serious, "I hate the idea of never seeing you again too. And yeah, Brooklyn's ... Brooklyn. I'm from Brooklyn, and nothing will ever change that. It's like you and Italy. It's that place that you always have to return to in the end." He throws his arms up. "And hey. This doesn't mean that we'll never see each other again. You said that you've lived in Manhattan--"

"-And I have grandparents in Brooklyn."

"Even better!--Anyway, my point is that this doesn't have to be the end. Although we may drift apart now, that doesn't mean that we'll never meet again. Our paths don't have to cross only once, you know. Who knows when they'll meet again?"

Antonio smiles. "I like that. I really like that." 

They smile.

He looks back out at the sunset.

"How did the time go by so fast?" Antonio asks wondrously, never tearing his eyes away from horizon. "I mean, I remember thinking, aw yeah, look at all this time we have! but then in the car, and even yesterday, and especially now ... it just seems like there's so little of it."

"I agree," Sean says. "This week went by in a whirlwind--a good whirlwind--and I loved every second of it. But looking back it all went so fast. And now I'm leaving, tomorrow, and I still can't wrap my head around that idea."

Antonio plants his hands behind him and leans back. "This is all just happened so fast."

Sean hums in agreement. 

"It's crazy," Antonio mutters. "Just so crazy." He looks at Sean, and continues on in a normal volume. "How we met, how much time we spent together, how much we did. It's just ... the odds of something like this happening should be nigh impossible."

"Yet it happened, didn't it?" Sean responds. "No matter what the odds were. And I wouldn't replace it for anything. I did say that this is one of the best weeks of my life, right? And that wasn't because of all the amazing things I got to see. It's because I saw all of them with you. And how did that happen? Because of that very small chance of how we would meet. And I'm glad that we met that way. I don't think any of this would have happened the same way if we had met differently."

"True," Antonio agrees. He grins. "We should sing Una Cosa Più Grande again sometime."

Sean smiles. "We should."

"Or any other song, really. Remember how amazing we sounded doing that duet?"

"Yeah."

"I don't want you to go," Antonio admits in a small voice.

Sean sighs. "Yeah, me neither. But ... I have to. It's time for me to go home."

Home.

Home is what's separating them.

Antonio's been trying to find his home forever, bouncing around town to town, acting like he belongs, so that everywhere feels like home. But he still hasn't found the one special place yet.

No matter what, he knows Italy is home, and New York is ... not as much home, but it's something. He just always misses Italy more than he misses New York when he's in the other.

He was getting used to Campania. For a while he thought that this might be it, that he wouldn't need to once again temporarily inhabit another town. Campania, the land of the happy, has always felt the most like home to him. But now Sean is going away, and now he doesn't know if Campania is still going to feel like home.

But Sean's not going away. He's going home.

And that's something Antonio can't take away from him.

"I get it," Antonio says finally. "I know what it's like being on the wrong side of the Atlantic and think, man, when am I going home again?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Sean smiles.

Antonio smiles too. Then he changes the subject. "If we talk about this anymore, it's gonna get way too emotional. So maybe we can just ... enjoy the sunset?"

"Sure."

And so they stare off into the distance, looking at all the pretty colors in the sky, holding hands, feeling at peace, just simply enjoying each other's presence.

It's the moment where the sky looks like a rainbow; Antonio's favorite. When the red is at the horizon line, orange above that, and then the yellow, and if you squint there's a tint of green just before the blue, the blue that goes up until it melts into the purple that goes up and up and takes up the rest of the sky. He points this out to Sean, who smiles and says he's never heard the sunset described that way before.

They continue to sit there until they start feeling hungry.

"Food now?" Antonio asks.

"Sounds good."

Antonio grins. "I won't disappoint you."

He starts to get up, but stops when he notices that Sean isn't moving. And he's smiling at Antonio, with an expression one of joy, and something Antonio can't quite explain or describe.

"What?" Antonio questions, smile tugging at his lips too.

"I like you," Sean tells him, smile wide. "I really, really like you."

Antonio smiles.

Then, slowly, Sean goes in for a kiss.

Antonio's surprised, but he doesn't pull away. He lets Sean kiss him.

They both close their eyes.

So this is what it's like to kiss someone. This is what everyone loves so much. Antonio knows that this is what releases oxytocin and dopamine and serotonin--all the happy chemicals. But this is Antonio's brain those chemicals are affecting, so, naturally, his brain is moving a million miles a minute.

They carress each other's faces in the lingering sunlight.

They're in this moment, suspended in time, with their wonderful week and long roadtrip behind them and a beautiful starry sky ahead of them, as well as an airport in the alarmingly not too distant future. But for now, in this moment, they have each other, and this glorious sunset.

And that's all they need.

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Wow.

I ... I really don't what to say now.

This is it. 

This is their last happy moment.

Because they go to the airport tomorrow ... and they go their separate ways.

You all don't know how many sunset photos I looked through trying to find the right one. If you look up sunsets in Italy, you will not be disappointed.

I love sunset chapters. I guess that's kind of my trope in a way haha. No story of mine is complete without at least one sunset chapter.

But this is where it gets kind of emotional, doesn't it? It started in the last chapter when you realize that they will have to go their separate ways, and now it's more of a reality. Like Romeo and Juliet, where there seems to be all the time in the world, but there isn't. Like Hamilton, where there is never enough time. 

Like Nick and Diane, wanting to stop the world and take a picture and seize the moment before going their separate ways 'forever'.

And they're both from New York ... and Sean is going home to New York and Antonio is escaping New York ... so also kinda like Usnavi and Vanessa, I'm runnin' to make it home, and home's where (Antonio)'s running away from...

And, like Galinda and Elphaba, Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

Okay, I need to stop making references to a lot of things haha.

Okay, I also may need to stop stewing in these emotions haha.

Ready for chapter ten?

Please, no homophobia, profanities, hate etc in the comment section.

Best,

~Your Beloved Author (who loves deep conversations and even deeper emotional connections)