Chat Members (2): Mack ♥️♥️♥️, Jordan 💩

April 26, 33 AE
Mack (1:17 PM)
My costume looks good yeah???? 😉

Jordan (1:19 PM)
Yeah, it's nice! Very realistic.

Mack (1:19 PM)
I meant good as in sexy 😉😉😉

Mack (1:23 PM)
You don't think I'm sexy? 🥺

Jordan (1:24 PM)
I never said that! I didn't say anything!

Mack (1:24 PM)
So you DO think I'm sexy??? 🥰

Jordan (1:24 PM)
NO

Mack (1:24 PM)
☹️

Jordan (1:24 PM)
Stop

Mack (1:24 PM)
☹️☹️☹️

Jordan (1:25 PM)
Stop it

Mack (1:25 PM)
☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

Jordan (1:25 PM)
OMG
FINE
I will admit it looks very nice on you

Mack (1:26 PM)
AWWW thanks I know 😉

Mack (3:46 PM)
WOW you got burgers and you DIDNT TELL ME??? I see how it is 😤

Jordan (3:46 PM)
????
I thought you were vegetarian???

Mack (3:47 PM)
They have veggie burgers
And I said I was a BAD vegetarian
So I'll eat a real burger maybe once a year
Usually when im very drunk
Then I cry about the cows in my stomach afterwards
My last burger was named Billy
RIP Billy
🐄🥺😭

Jordan (3:47 PM)
That doesn't sound healthy

Mack (3:47 PM)
I KNOW OK DONT JUDGE MY LIFE CHOICES

April 27, 33 AE
Jordan (12:42 PM)
Hey, where are you?

Jordan (12:57 PM)
Hello???

Jordan (1:05 PM)
Are you seriously still mad at me for not inviting you???

Mack (1:11 PM)
Sorry
I was in the shower
I could never be mad at you 🥺
What's up
Hang on someone's at my door

Jordan (1:11 PM)
THAT'S ME HURRY TF UP

Mack stared at the text for a moment longer, not quite sure he was reading it correctly. And when the words didn't magically disappear, and were instead joined by a string of creatively woven profanities, Mack knew he wasn't hallucinating.

The knocking at his door suddenly turned violent, and Mack snapped out of his trance to answer it.

"It's about time," Jordan greeted him with a grumpy face and his arms crossed over his chest. "I've been waiting out here for ages."

"Sorry," Mack said sheepishly, hoping his grin didn't look too forced.

For a moment, Jordan's expression softened, and Mack wondered if the man saw right through him. But then Jordan's eyes drifted downwards, then widened before snapping back to meet Mack's.

"Where the hell are your clothes?!" Jordan hissed in panic.

Mack glanced down at his body, his torso still damp from his shower and a checkered pink, yellow, and blue towel hanging on his hips.

"What?" Mack asked, looking back at Jordan. "I have a towel."

"I can see that!" Jordan snapped, his eyes bigger than ever and firmly focused on Mack's. "What about everything else?!"

Mack gestured a thumb towards his bathroom. "I mean, I said I was just--"

"I know what you said!" Jordan managed to get out between his gritted teeth. "Can you just--please change?"

The slight pink on Jordan's cheeks finally caught Mack's attention, and the depressing events of his morning seemed to drift out of his mind in favor of having a little fun.

"What's the problem?" Mack asked, resting his hands on his hips. "You don't like this towel?"

Jordan grimaced; the pink on his face turned darker.

"It's... it's not that--" Jordan sputtered.

"I would hope not, this is one of my favorites. It's so soft and fluffy." Mack grinned, then made as if he was about to untie the fabric from his waist. "Wanna see?"

"No!" Jordan exclaimed.

At the same time, a door closed from down the hall, and Mack poked his head out to see one of his neighbors, an elderly woman, in the process of locking her front door.

"Good morning, Aunty Val!" Mack greeted with a wave.

She paused to glance at them, her face as expressionless as always, then turned back to her keys. "It's afternoon, boy," she corrected, her voice characteristically monotone.

"Still as sharp as ever, Aunty," Mack replied peppily.

A moment of silence ensued as Aunty Val carefully ensured her apartment was secured and her keys were safely returned to her purse. During that time, Mack happily waited for her to finish, ignoring Jordan's embarrassed glances and nervous fidgeting.

Finally, she began to shuffle towards them with her customary small and steady steps. The long wait was obviously paining Jordan, and he adamantly focused on the upper corners of Mack's doorway with his mouth clamped shut and his cheeks glowing red.

Shortly after she passed them, and right after Jordan let out a small sigh of relief, Aunty Val turned back around.

"Put some clothes on, boy," she instructed, waving a wrinkled hand vaguely in his direction. "You'll catch a cold standing around like that."

"Will do, Aunty!" Mack replied to her retreating figure.

In front of him, Jordan let out a sound that could be described as either a whimper or a deflating tire.

Mack finally focused back on Jordan, his mood significantly lighter than it had been moments ago. He had to keep himself from chuckling at the sight of Jordan's eyes squeezed closed, the red that splotched his cheeks, and the grimace that stretched over his mouth. It was an interesting contrast to his sophisticated outfit: a tan cashmere coat hanging open over an off-white sweater with thin, horizontal black stripes, dark blue cuffed jeans, and a pair of shiny black dress shoes.

Belatedly, Mack noticed the all too familiar red and white paper bag clenched tightly in Jordan's hand.

"Burgers?!" Mack exclaimed, unable to hide his excitement.

Jordan jumped a bit at the volume of Mack's voice.

"Yes, okay?" he whispered, glancing up and down the hall to see if any of Mack's other neighbors would join them. "Something you would've found out much sooner if you let me in earlier. Now hurry up and let me in."

"You brought burgers for me?" Mack gushed. And while he was definitely exaggerating his enthusiasm, he was genuinely touched that Jordan went through such lengths for him.

He felt that familiar warmth in his chest return.

"I did, so hurry up and just go inside," Jordan insisted, raising a hand as if to push Mack through the doorway, but stopped himself with his palm inches away from Mack's bare chest. "Can you just... go already?"

"I'm gonna cry!" Mack said instead, adding in a dramatic sniffle for the fun of it.

"That's great," Jordan muttered, then retracted his hand over Mack's chest and shoved the bag of food at him instead. "So just take it and go."

Mack finally relented, and he took the bag with a wide grin before stepping to the side, allowing Jordan to scramble in before closing the door behind him.

The next surprise came immediately after when Jordan paused and began to take off his shoes without being asked. At first, Mack guessed that the pile of footwear stacked by the doorway hinted at the unspoken request, then belatedly recalled how Jordan had done the same at Elsie's condo. Also similar to that night were Jordan's light blue socks patterned with white cats dressed as sushi.

The sight of them reminded Mack of the two pairs of socks he purchased recently, but he wasn't going to mention them just yet.

"You took off your shoes," Mack observed, his eyes still fixed to Jordan's socks.

"Sorry, habit," Jordan grinned sheepishly before he looked down at his feet, then at Mack's. "You're not wearing shoes either."

Mack's small smile came easier than he expected. "Yeah, it's a habit." He nodded for Jordan to follow. "Come on in."

He led the way to his living room and slid the mail that was scattered on his coffee table to the side to make room for the food.

"Nice place," Jordan commented from behind him, sounding completely genuine.

Mack let out a short, loud laugh.

"Not really, especially compared to Elsie's," Mack admitted. "But it's good enough for me. And for the occasional party."

And that was the truth. The small, one bedroom apartment was a little on the old and simple side, but it was home. And even though dozens of past visitors had mentioned that none of his secondhand furniture matched, and his worn brown couch was in need of a serious upgrade, he liked it just how it was.

"I'm gonna put some clothes on, but you can sit anywhere," Mack said, then began pointing out various things in his apartment. "The remote's here if you want to watch TV, but the volume button doesn't work that well. Help yourself to drinks in the fridge, but just be careful when you open it; Aunty Val gave me a huge casserole the other day so everything's just kinda stuffed in there. Just make yourself at home."

"Uh... sure," Jordan replied in a tone that sounded anything but sure.

Again, Mack had to hold back a chuckle before he left Jordan to his devices and headed for his room to search for a more appropriate outfit.

Mack quickly dried off before rummaging through his clean clothes. Unfortunately, his options were limited--he had meant to do laundry that day--but he eventually found a baggy navy blue tank top hidden in his closet and a pair of dark grey sweatpants strewn across his bed.

When he returned to the living room, Jordan had, unsurprisingly, not moved an inch. Instead, he was gazing hesitantly around, as if something in Mack's apartment would provide guidance.

For all Mack knew, his old multicolor floor rug probably had more than enough stories to tell.

"You alright?" Mack asked, crossing the living room to get to the kitchen.

Jordan jumped a little at Mack's entrance, and his eyes darted down Mack's body for a split second.

"Yeah!" Jordan replied, much too enthusiastically. "Great!"

"Unless..." Mack stopped moving to watch Jordan's expression carefully, "you preferred my last outfit?"

"Absolutely not!" Jordan exclaimed, his eyes growing wide again.

Mack laughed. "Sorry, I'm just messing with you. Sit, really. Did you want anything to drink?"

It took a little longer than expected, but eventually they were both seated on the couch, each with a burger and soda in front of them. Apparently, Jordan had bought them both vegetarian burgers, since he wanted no part in adding to Mack's regret. The gesture was so incredibly thoughtful, but when Mack said so, Jordan merely blushed and brushed it off.

"Oh my god, this looks amazing," Mack said as he admired the burger in his hands.

"It's a veggie burger," Jordan mumbled unenthusiastically before he took a small bite from his own food.

"Don't listen to him, you look delicious," Mack whispered to his burger patty before taking a large bite, then immediately groaning with pleasure.

Just then, Jordan began coughing.

"You okay?" Mack asked worriedly as he watched Jordan hurriedly reach for his drink. "I know first aid."

Jordan waved him off with his burger, but it took him a little longer to speak up again.

"I'm fine," Jordan assured hoarsely before taking a few more moments to regain his voice completely. "Sorry. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Jordan insisted, then pointed at Mack's burger with his own. "Now hurry up and eat before it gets colder than it already is."

"It'll still taste amazing," Mack said, but he obediently took another bite regardless.

"The same can't be said for these fries," Jordan muttered, picking up one to glare at it before popping it into his mouth.

Mack shrugged as he took one for himself. "I'll still eat them."

"That's besides the point," Jordan grumbled. "What kind of shower takes half an hour anyway? What could you have possibly been doing in there--"

Jordan froze mid-sentence, and his eyes grew wide in shock.

"Nevermind," Jordan quickly mumbled before taking a large bite of his burger.

A part of Mack wanted to laugh at Jordan's embarrassment over his missasumption, and he was tempted to just force out a chuckle to follow the natural progression of their conversation.

But he didn't think he could bring himself to do even that. Not when all he could think about was the shower he just took, and all his futile efforts to wash the smell of disinfectant and blood from his skin.

"Mack?"

Mack lifted his head at the sound of the voice--he didn't even realize when his eyes had drifted from Jordan to his own hands.

Jordan's gaze was fixed to Mack, and his eyebrows were furrowed with concern.

Finally, Mack managed to let out a soft laugh.

"Sorry, I zoned out for a bit," he chuckled and stiffly reached for another fry before realizing he was still holding on to the last one he took. He hurriedly ate it before flashing a grin at Jordan. "Did you say something?"

Surprisingly, Jordan pushed back.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, the concern in his voice obvious.

Mack tried to chuckle again; it came out dry and stiff.

"Nothing's wrong," he said. "I just--"

"Please don't lie," Jordan said, his voice soft but forceful. He took a breath, then continued. "Something's wrong, I can tell. I... I know that look."

Mack could feel his shock was visible on his face, but he couldn't help it. Normally, it was impossible for people to know when he was having a rough day, but Jordan had seen through him with no trouble at all. And instead of ignoring it and letting Mack fall back into his normal cheerful socialite persona, Jordan, shy and polite Jordan, had actually called him out on it.

"At least...," Jordan took another deep breath, "at least promise me you're not thinking of doing anything stupid."

And then Mack saw it. There wasn't just concern in Jordan's eyes; there was fear. Mack had no idea where it came from, but if telling Jordan the truth would get rid of it, then he was more than willing to oblige.

"No, of course not," Mack quickly said. "Why would I--nevermind. I just... I had a not-so-great day at work today."

Just as he had hoped, Jordan's fear visibly vanished, yet his concern was now more prominent than ever.

"I thought you said you had the weekend off?" Jordan asked, setting his burger down on the table.

"It was... a last minute thing," Mack started, then quickly amended his approach. "It was that accident on the 110."

Jordan's eyes widened, and Mack couldn't help but avert his gaze to the coffee table in front of them.

The silence between them was awful. There was nothing to distract Mack's mind from his memories. There was nothing to drown out the sounds of pained groans and desperate cries that rang in his ears; nothing to overpower the smell of iron that lingered in his nose.

A part of him was tempted to glance down at his hands just to see for himself that his hands were free of blood; another part of him stopped himself, worried about what he might find.

Curiosity was winning, so Mack closed his eyes instead.

But in his newfound darkness, he couldn't stop the images that danced mockingly in his mind.

A scene of cars and trucks and vans piled on top of each other in a burial mound, each of them crumpled like balls of paper. Oil and gasoline streaked across the road, occasionally swirled with a dark red. A small spark turning into a fire, then an explosion in mere seconds. A swarm of on-duty guardians arriving too late to do anything except to pick up the pieces.

A choked sob echoed in Mack's mind; it took him a moment to realize the sound came from him.

And with that, Mack broke. He did nothing to stop the tears that fell from his eyes, hoping they would take his memories with them. He did nothing to calm his gasped breaths, hoping that each exhale wouldn't expel the iron that lingered inside him. He did nothing to quiet his sobs, because the sound of his own despair was preferable over someone else's.

He only paused when he felt an unfamiliar touch on his arm, and suddenly his dark world was illuminated.

It was as if he was seeing light for the first time. The mere sight of it soothed him like nothing he'd ever seen. It was bright and mesmerizing, like a fireworks display; colorful and charming, like a chorus of Christmas lights. And it filled him with a warmth that he had felt only on a select few occasions...

Mack opened his eyes and found Jordan gazing back at him.

For a moment, Jordan looked like he was about to say something, and his grip on Mack's arm tightened. And when Jordan closed his mouth again, Mack felt his heart drop--he needed a distraction, and the sound of Jordan's voice would've worked just fine.

Until Jordan pulled him into a hug, and Mack knew at once which he preferred.

Because with Jordan's arms around him, Mack could feel his light like it was his own. That warmth in his chest began to build, then it spread, and Mack couldn't help but hold onto Jordan even tighter out of fear that the sensation would leave him if he let go.

Of course, Mack could still feel his memories scratching at the edge of his mind, itching to be let back in. And while Mack knew he couldn't hold them off forever, with Jordan's help, now he at least felt strong enough to take them on himself.

---

NOTES

Hope everyone had a terrific New Year's Eve, and I'd love to hear how you all celebrated!

Here's a new chapter to kick off the new year! I'm hoping it's a rollercoaster of emotions, just as I intended.

Thanks for reading and voting!