tfw you hadn't heard "she" used for you in such a long time you started to get comfortable

you even started to wonder if maybe it would be okay to be used for you because you don't remember what it feels like

then you remember the deal your dad didn't let you back out of

how he said he won't use your pronouns, only your name

and you hear "she" for the first time in months

and the twinge of fear and pain is as powerful as the first time you tried to drive

tense

hurting

but there's nothing i can do

i cant talk to him, i tried

i cant misgender him back, that would stoop down to his level and i dont believe in eye for an eye

i cant talk to anyone else, they support it

"it's just his opinion" but it's hurting me

oh well, they say. you'll get over it. why does it bother you so much? it shouldn't. it's not a big deal. you're too young to know that anyway. you're too young to change your name, you don't know what you want yet.

it bothers me because i am not a she

and calling me that on purpose outright denies and invalidates me

suggesting that because you're my dad, you have the right to give and take respect according to your values

that's not how respect should work...