Yea stuff,

I've been awkward AF lately

And I haven't been acting like my usual

Funny or crazy self lately.

Especially at school

And I just sit there and observe all the people that I hang out with..

And I realize that I actually need a friend that I can trust and tell my problems to without them actually telling anyone else

Or tease me.....

And throughout all these 13 years I've been on earth

I still really haven't found that person

I thought that it was one of my friends

Figured out it's really

Not.

And all I do is just stay introverted and write and listen to music all day

And I'm actually becoming the person that I usually say that I am

Pathetic

Yea stuff

I should be writing rn.

About these complicated ass feelings I'm having all the fucking time.

And I ruined my whole weekend

Just thinking.

And realizing that I'm getting

Jealous

Over something, and yea, things that have happened.

I don't talk about how I feel

Because that's just not who I am

And I'm pretty sure that my friends realize that by now.

Or not

idc.

But I'm changing so quick that I'm scaring myself and I don't know what I'm becoming.

And not becoming my usual Yukura.

(My weird ass name)

Sigh

Actually, where tf are my friends?

Idfk man.

I'll just try to enjoy myself by eating more chocolate

And thinking.

And I fucking hate thinking.

It just comes out of nowhere

And my mom always over think all the time.

And that's exactly who I got it from.

I can't fucking help it.

I hate that I can never help my friends because every time they get emotional or some shit

I realize that I'm never good in those situations and I'd just sit there thinking of what to text, or say.

And one of my other friends always comfort them

And I'd just sit there dumbfounded.

I fucking hate that I don't know how to react to those people and their feelings.

And how it's so hard for me to say

"I love you."

To my mom or my dad because I always say that it's

'Weird'

And my mom would always be like.

"Why do you think that's weird?"

Or

"I dont know why you're like this, your sisters don't think that way, what made you become so against that word?"

I don't fucking know.

And that's why I'm so fucking scared to love someone I guess.

My world will turn upside down once I fall deep in them

Then one day, something will happen

And I'll be the same fucked up over thinking, weird piece of shit that I am today.

And I've been thinking like this since I was 5

The age where I figured out that the world isn't the way parents make it seem.

They'll read you happy stories and other happy shit.

Then you see the things on TV and on the street and you're just like...

"What is this??"

Then your world turns and you figure out slowly that you're living in a tragic world.

Tragic.

I'm so fucking tired of thinking.

And how these children these days are being so fucking hooked on what's going on with Snapchat

And all these god damn useless ass fights that aren't worth anything.

more than multiple things are getting me irritated like this.

My parents.

My friends.

The person I like too fucking much.

The streets.

School.

Just random everyday shit.

Idk bruh

I'm not depressed anymore.

I'm just Yukura

The girl that just over thinks so fucking much.

How tf am I supposed to live like this?

I wonder why I never talk to my friends about this..

Huh.

anyway, I really want some yogurt, but I'm saving that tasty shit for tomorrow.

Peace boi. 💐💐💜💙✌✌

-Y

😘😘