Date Posted: Febuary 1, 2014

Date Updated: December 6, 2015

This will have a lot of demigod commentary...you've been warned.

Me: Hello demigods!!! Here's a cliche story, now react to it.

Demigods: Who are you?

Me: I'm not telling you, but you can call me Da Panda.

Annabeth: What's your real name?

Me: It starts with an L...

Percy: I shall call you Pandy, because it's short for-

Nico: *scowls* We know.

Hi, my name is Luna Purple Couch Oceania Tiger Lily, and I'm 17 years old.

Percy: What kind of middle name is Couch?

Thalia: A stupid one.

Reyna: Even I have to agree with that one.

I woke up in my bed as usual and got up, my eyelashes fluttering open to reveal my breathtakingly beautiful eyes and hopped out of my crescent moon shaped bed (complete with a water mattress and the fluffiest pillows in existence).

Grover: Hey! Remember Crusty's?

Annabeth: Don't. Just don't.

Then, I walked into the bathroom and glanced at my reflection in the perfectly polished full length mirror. I don't usually admire myself in the mirror, but I'll try to describe myself to you guys...my biggest fans!

Percy: *subtle eye twitch* biggest fans?

I have auburn hair that falls to my waist and curls slightly at the bottom. It has natural platinum blonde streaks that most people could only get a fancy billionaire salon.

Drew: OMG!!!! I've gotten those before.

I have kaleidoscope orbs that change colors from ocean blue to grass green to an unnatural glowing silver, and many more colors. I opened my walk-in-closet the size of the Taj Mahal and glanced around. Gods, I was soooo poor, I mean, all I could afford were clothes from Forever 21, Aeropostale, and Hollister. Not to mention any designer brand I wanted, even before the clothes were even out to the general publics.

Piper: She's so- so- ARGH!!!!!!

Jason: Hold her back!! Hold her back!!!! *flies away before Piper can strangle him*

"Honey, get downstairs please," my trillionaire dad called from the bottom floor of our 7-story mansion. I almost broke down in tears when he said that, why did he have to hate me so much? Still sniffling, I slipped on a ruffled white blouse with 24-carat diamonds scattered across the front and a silver skirt. Then I put on my 6-inch Gucci heels and went to do my make up.

Me: Does Gucci even make shoes?

Aphrodite Cabin- Duh!!!! OF COURSE!!

Me: Jeez, sorry.

"My dear sweet only child who I admire and love so much," my dad called again, "You missed the coach bus to your school, so I guess I'll have to take you in our Ferrari.

Annabeth: Really? "My dear sweet only child who I admire and love so much"? *glares at me* Wow, you're such a good writer, no wonder you have sooo many actual books published on Wattpad.

Me: Ouch, you're very touchy this fine morn!

Annabeth: It's 3 in the afternoon...

I collapsed right there on the 3-inch bright pink plush carpet and sobbed for a good 10 minutes. Then I went and applied silver eyeshadow and my orbs magically turned silver to match. I put on a thick layer of foundation and lip gloss before walking to the room-sized elevator next to my bedroom.

Piper: Because apparently she doesn't need a backpack for school...And she wears as much makeup as Dr-

Drew: Yes?

Piper: Dragons. Ahem, I meant dragons.

I grabbed a piece of toast from the five-star breakfast buffet and blacked out.

Thalia: Why did she just faint? What the-

Hazel: *COUGH COUGH*

Thalia: -Di Angelo...That's what I meant.

Nico: DON'T USE MY NAME IN VAIN!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I strutted through the halls like a model as I thought, "Wow, I'm so insecure." All the boys stopped what they were doing and stared at me. Some of them even followed me to carry the 7 bags of makeup I own, oh my gods I'm such a tomboy. Soon, some of them picked me up and put me on a solid gold throne and carried me around the halls because apparently no one has any classes.

"Hey girlie!" my friend, Estabanita Julio Ricardo Dela Ricardo Ramirez. She had flawless long black hair and sparkling obsidian orbs. She was also a total tomboy and a nerd, we were practically invisible in school. She walked next to me in a hot pink tank top and incredibly short shorts.

Reyna: WHY DOES THIS INSUFFERABLE MORTAL HAVE ONE OF MY LAST NAMES!!!! GIVE IT BACK!!!

Percy: Wait, isn't this from a TV show?

Me: Finally, someone gets it...

"OMG!!!!! HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" I yelled back. I was always as quiet as possible, because I was sooooo insecure.

"I got a F+ on a test!" she told me.

"We're such nerds!!!!" I squealed again, "F stands for Flawless, so you did beyond flawless!!!!!!"

Annabeth: ... *starts furiously sketching on random piece of paper*

Piper: Is she okay?

Percy: Yeah, just constructing an elaborate battle plan to kill this girl

Then a giant dog jumped out of the wall. I screamed in the least girly way possible, then a boy with BLUE eyes and black hair magically appeared and vaporized it.

"Hi!" he said, "I'm Percy Jackson. And you're a halfblood so you have to follow me."

Percy: My eyes aren't blue...DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIESLAYDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!

Coach Hedge: *wipes away tear* I've taught you so well, cupcake...

"KKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!" I squealed, then I blacked out from the walking I'd done.

Frank: That's a lot of K's, what is she, a machine gun?

Me: *hugs him* Frank! My fellow Asian-child, you're alive!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"OMG!!!!!!!!" I squealed loudly, making everyone within a 5-mile radius's ears bleed.

"Luna Purple Couch Oceania Tiger Lily," Percy said, "You are so beautiful with your kaleidoscope orbs that change from ocean blue to grass green to unnatural glowing silver to strawberry toothpaste. Your hair is so perf because it's like totes gorgeous. Will you be my girlfriend?" I didn't even care that I'd never told him my name. Because it's soooooo adorable when people stalk you, as long as they're hot.

Percy: You could've made her my sister...but no Pandy, you had to make me ask her out...

Me: Oh don't worry, your sister is going to turn up soon.

Percy: *Pulls out sword* NOOOOOOOO!!! PLEZ!!! I'll poke you with my sword!

Me: *Evil smirk* ANNABETH, PERCY'S CHEATING ON YOU WITH THAT LUNA PERSON!

*A horde of owls runs over Percy*

Annabeth/ Me/ Athena: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA