Date Posted: February 22, 2015

Date Updated: December 6, 2015

~ Those stupid prophecies that are like:

The daughter of Artemis,

Otherwise known as Crystal Blue Ocean Rose Annabel Waters,

Because there aren't any other daughters of Artemis, and I quote Mr. D, "duh."

Will kill stuff and be super powerful, incredibly beautiful, smart, and stuff

And stare at people with her purple orbs

Refrigerator,

Oh, and you kill Kronos too

~ Children of Hades are literally vampires now...

Nico: HISSS!!!! I'M DYING!!!! IT BURNS LIKE THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS!!!!! *falls down and starts twitching and chugging red gatorade*

Hazel: Sorry, he gets like this sometimes

Meanwhile Will Solace is just standing there with a tiny UV flashlight like, "Ummmmm...I'll come back later..."

Okay, maybe not all Hades kids, just Nico...

~ Why does CHB make a new cabin for every single camper with a different parent? It's like whenever someone passes the camp interrogates them like:

Random Camper: WAH YOU NAME?

Random Perfect Demigod: Ummm...Apple Cider *Gets claimed*

Random Camper: YOU IS DAUGHTER OF HELIOS!!!! I MAKE CABIN NOW!!!!"

And suddenly... a new cabin rises from the depths of the underworld.

~ Percy has been magically turned into a toddler

"ANNIE!!!! Get my juice box!!!!

"ANNIEBETH!!!!! Where's my teddy bear?"

"BETHIEEEEEEE???? Is Sesame Street on yet?"

~ The only mean girls at Camp Halfblood are Aphrodite kids, I guess Clarisse turned into a rainbow-farting unicorn who spreads sunshine and happiness over the world.

~ Annabeth is suddenly obsessed with owls...I thought she would want to murder owls after her "exclusive Mark-of-Athena experience" (A/N Just imagine I said that with an overly enthusiastic commercial person voice).

Annabeth's favorite color is also suddenly gray. I thought it would be green, maybe sea green like Percy's eyes or something(because of all of their lovey-dovey-ness).

~ The main character is pretty much...well, bleh, but with spontaneous tomboy-ish moments at random times.

*Blah, blah, blah* I don't really look at myself in the mirror much, but I'm going to try to describe myself anyway. I have long blond hair, the exact color of daffodils in the sun on a sunny-spring-ish-but-more-of-a-summery-day-that's-partly-cloudy-and-has-a-random-flying-bunny. It curls at exactly 6 millimeters past my waist. My eyes are perfectly spaced and look like they're filled with an actual ocean, they change color with my emotions. I have perfect skin and always dress like a model. Oh, and by the way I love sports.

OR

*More blahs* ARGH!!!!! I has nothing to wear! Ugh, I guess I'll just wear my 3 million dollar one-of-a-kind rainbow unicorn dress made of sparkles and joy and my FAVORITE COMBAT BOOTS!!!!

~ Not to be racist or anything, but the only main characters are white girls with orbs that are either green. blue, sparkly silver, or strawberry toothpaste flavored. I mean, SERIOUSLY? The only non-white people allowed are Leo, Reyna, Frank, Hazel, and Nico (A/N Probably because they're bae or something) Is it really that hard to add a random asian person into your story that isn't named Ping Pong Ching Chong Ramen Noodles Zhang? Or to have a person of any other race that isn't related to one of the Seven...gosh, I'm not asking you to bring world peace for all eternity (but that would probably be a good thing to do in your spare time).

(A/N This is not meant to be offensive to anyone with strawberry toothpaste flavored orbs...)

~ NO ONE IS RELATED TO ANYONE BUT PERCY AND ANNABETH!!!! I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS...

Please, I want a story with Hazel's daughter going to Camp Jupiter and fulfilling the ancient prophecy of the refrigerator or Frank's long-lost cousin saving the world from evil narwhals...I'm getting desperate here...halp...

~ The absolute horror of their names is just astounding...absolutely astounding. Their names don't always have to be Greek or relate to their godly parent. It's like there's a specific list of names that people have to use or else Octavian will rise from the Underworld and brutally murder their stuffed animals... So here's a list of the most overused names (I already did Poseidon, so it won't be included):

Hades: Scarlett (most overused name on Wattpad too)- Can you even fathom why anyone would name a daughter of Hades, Scarlett? Is it because blood is scarlet and stuff? Shouldn't there be more Hades kids with rock names, or names like Death Bones Skeleton Ghost Di Angelo?

Demeter (if they're even included in the story): Some kind of plant, like Rose or Lily. This totally makes sense, because all of the mortals that have demigod children obviously know that the person they've married is a god/goddess...

Every other god that I'm too lazy to name: A name that has to do with their godly parent's powers or symbol...or a random Greek name. Why is everyone's name Greek? In the original series, Percy was the only camper with a Greek name.

~ The main OC is always a girl, because apparently, boys are boring and can't be featured in any stories. The only times boys get a POV is when they're describing how much they love the random girl that runs into camp...and half the time, the boy's POV isn't even written right. Here's a prime example:

Aqua Seashell Owl Ocean Glitter Sparkles Riptide Fancygreekname Jackson's POV

I walked into camp after killing 30 million drakons with a pen that somehow turned into a sword, I called it Riptide, totally original name, right? Every stared at me in awe as I collapsed on the grass and my bottom lip quivered as I tried not to cry. They all hated me already! I mean who would want to be friends with me? I had long, slightly wavy, perfect, silky, luscious (A/N Don't use luscious in a story...ever, it's kind of creepy), beautiful honey blond princess curls that were twisted into a fancy braid and sparkly purple orbs that turned magenta when I was happy, and sea green when I wanted to eat pretzels.

A random boy walked up to me and asked, "What's your name?" I gasped, he was sooooooooo cute with black hair and obsidian eyes.

Nico's POV

OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!! There was this girl, and she was so hawt and stufferdoodles. She was so awesome and stuff, so she was my new #bae.

"I'm Aqua Seashell Owl Ocean Glitter Sparkles Riptide Fancygreekname Jackson, but you can call me Aqua," the girl said, "I'm an orphan and in no way related to Percy Jackson." She casually started doing calculus and talking to pegasi. Yup, there's no way she's related to Percy and Annabeth.

"Nico Di Angelo," I said calmly. ERRRRRMAGERRRHHHDDD She's so smart, pretty, and good at fighting!

Suddenly, everyone gasped as Aqua started randomly levitating and she yelled, "I AM THE DAUGHTER OF PERCY AND ANNABETH!!!!! BOW DOWN TO ME LOWLY CHILDREN, FOR I AM THE MOST POWERFUL GODDESS OF ALL TIME!!!!!!" Then she fainted, and looked sooooo hawt while doing it.

Okay, the Nico's POV Part hurt my brain...Anyways, sorry for not updating in literally months, for the people still reading this:

Thanks!!!!!! I know I haven't updated this, even if I've been active on Wattpad. I feel really bad about not posting a chapter sooner...I'm thinking about writing another "Typical and Dumb Moments" book for Harry Potter Fanfics, comment what you think about that below!