Date Published: September 14, 2014

Date Edited: May, 31st 2015

~ The only monsters in existence are furies, minotaurs, and hellhounds. The rest were magically zapped into Narnia (my locker was way too full) (A/N I disappoint myself when I say this, but I didn't actually finish reading The Chronicles of Narnia...I'm a disappointment to fangirls everywhere.)

~ Enemies that rise to defeat the Mary Sue: Kronos, Gaea, Hades, Angry PJO Fangirls...sometimes Kronos AND Gaea decide to rise at the same time. What is this? The Jelly Baby Conspiracy?

~ Sometimes I wonder what Poseidon is doing with his time, because there are way too many daughters of Poseidon at CHB. No, not even children of Neptune, because apparently no one likes the Romans. I get how Poseidon powers are amazing, but does Poseidon really need so many extreme Mary Sues (I mean children) running amok?

~ They also can only use, knives, daggers, and bows. There are no other weapons in existence.  WELL except for swords, spears, crossbows, hammers, axes *goes on for an hour listing all weapons in existence* But pshhhhhhh who cares? Swords are for noobs.

~ Fainting is used to end chapters. Like the main character is applying her 30th layer of lip gloss...then passes out for no reason anyway. Just because the author has no more ideas for the chapter.

~ All girl main characters are tomboys...but don't necessarily act like one. Here's some examples:

- The Stolls managed to get monster-free internet to watch the soccer game. I completely understood the game. There was a ball...people chased the ball...and other stuff happened. Suddenly, the rainbow ball sailed into the swishy-net thingy and I grinned, yelling "HOME RUN!!" All the boys looked at me, obviously not used to seeing a girl who knew about sports.

-Being a tomboy, I didn't own anything fancy or expensive, I didn't put on much makeup either. As soon as I woke up, I grabbed my my new $6K jeans, and my stylish 30 inch heels (so I can tower over all of the ugly people). Then I went to apply makeup in my personal bathroom.

[3 pages of makeup stuff I don't understand later]

I looked into the mirrors at my flawlessly done makeup, my hot pink lipstick, and how my electric blue eyeshadow matched my orbs, I loved my natural look.

~Nico is completely out of character.

- Option 1 {Way too happy}: Nico was frolicking through fields of daffodils singing the My Little Pony theme song when I walked by, he grinned and started dancing towards me, singing even louder than before.

Actual Nico: *Silently JUDGES YOU* Hi, I'm Nico Di Angelo...and you don't know me.

- Option 2 {Way too romantic}: I looked up and saw Nico standing in front of me, he was holding a box of chocolates and a rose. "Would you like to go on a date to {insert fancy restaurant}?"

Actual Nico: I'm going to go meet Anubis for some McDonalds in NYC, don't follow me unless you want to burn forever in the Fields of Punishment. Got it?

- Option 3 {Way too dramatic}: "Where's Nico?" asked the author, "we're on a tight schedule here!"  The camera panned down to see Nico curled up in a ball on the floor, sobbing about his life...and other deep stuff.

Actual Nico: *camera pans down* NICO SAYS NO!!!  

~ For some reason, characters are all really good at reading eye contact:

-My eyes locked onto his, telling him, "Stay safe, don't lose your weapon, and bring me back some chocolate covered caramel drizzled strawberries.        

His eyes looked back at me and said, "Sure, just remember that I'll be back by dinner in 5 days and that my favorite food is purple hippogriff poop."

~Cabin 6 aka The Athena cabin aka the CABIN OF INTELLIGENT, BEAUTIFUL, BLONDE PEOPLE. Fun fact: Not every child of Athena has blond hair. I know that in The Lightning Thief,  Uncle Rick the middle aged troll said that all the Athena kids had blond hair, a tan, looked athletic, had gray eyes, and were Annabeth-like in every way. My theory? Percy was so in love with Annabeth, he hallucinated that every Athena kid looked exactly like Annabeth (jk, I saw it on tumblr). Athena herself has black hair in her usual form, it wouldn't make any sense if all of her children were blonde.

~ Injuries heal way too fast. I know that demigods can just eat ambrosia or drink nectar to heal, but a swig of nectar shouldn't save {insert Mary Sue here} from the bowels of the underworld. The author just instantly heals random people.        

-Oh right, that girl with a concussion, three broken ribs, and a shattered leg needs to be kissing someone in the next paragraph. INSTANT HEAL.        

-No, this person's too pretty to be in a coma...INSTANT HEAL.        

-Look! I have ambrosia! INSTANT HEAL.        

-Oh look! A kitty cat! INSTANT HEAL.

~And the spelling/grammar mistakes! {insert high-pitched whale sound} Don't you hate it when you find a really interesting book with an awesome title and summary, and you open it and see:        

-i ws waoking in te halwaiiii wen a rely cute biy bbumped intoo meh. "hi, meh nam iz NICO DI ANGEODKLDI," we becami frends akd heh tuuk meh 2 da camp. i faintrd and den weh startd datng. i wuz clamed bi posiedoan tje see god. Den weh shaved tje wurld cuz we r awsomness.

~ Parents don't even get worried when their kid disappears. I don't know about you, but my parents are worried that I've been kidnapped if I'm on the other side of the house. What would your parents think if you disappeared for the whole summer with no note and all your stuff gone? (A/NWow, I sound like Mrs. Weasley...but of course I don't blame you Harry)

Okay so that's Chapter 2! Whoooo! Two days in a row! I'm overusing exclamation points!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!! Oh and by the way, I'm normal *sheepish smile*. You can comment any Typical and Dumb Moments in the comments and I might put it in the next chapter!

Dedicated to FourTrisTheFortress for voting and commenting!

Question of the Day/ Chapter/ However long I update:Who's your godly parent? What about your Hogwarts house?