"So you told her?"

"Yes."

"And how do you feel, Kenneth?"

Kenneth swiped a hand across his forehead and let out a nervous giggle, "I feel like I'm walking outside naked."

"You feel vulnerable?"

"Yes, and I hate it."

"How did she react when you told her?"

I love every bit of you, Mr. Kenneth Theodore Mosely.

"She told me she loved me," Kenneth sat up, realizing he didn't tell Monday he was crazy about her.

"Isn't that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yes, it was the only thing I wished to hear. I longed to hear those words from her," Kenneth replied.

"And you feel naked despite that?"

Kenneth rose and walked to his window, "Yes, I let her into my garden. I gave her the keys." Kenneth looked down, "I even told her I was afraid of heights, but I didn't tell her living here was a catharsis and that looking down reverted many suicidal thoughts. She knows so much about me already."

"Is it bad?"

"ㅡNo."

"Do you trust her?"

"Yes."

"Do you love her?"

Kenneth came back to his seat. He covered his face with his hands and leaned back," Oh God, yes, I love her."

Doctor Ross wiped his eyes, "that's great news, Kenneth."

"Great, you say," Kenneth sat back up, "she knows I have all these issues. How long do you think she will support my mood variations and behavior?"

Doctor Ross noted something on his notepad before saying, "You said she didn't realize something was going on with you until you said it, and you also told me she loves you. Why are you looking for excuses, Kenneth? It's not a toxic trait you have. It's a mental disorder."

"I wish it were a toxic trait; at least one can work to eradicate it. I can't do that with what I have. I wake up daily fearing myself and praying not to have a new diagnosis of bipolar I or II."

"But you haven't had an episode for ages. What happened at the brunch doesn't count. Being purposely triggered doesn't count. You've been doing very well. Listen to yourself, Kenneth, you've been thrilled since you've met her. Can't you enjoy the moment?"

"I'm afraid. Ever since I've met her, I've started to have weird thoughts about children, and I can't help thinking they'll be like me." Kenneth paused for a second; what if? I should stop everything. Monday deserves a normal man. One that can assume the role I can't have."

Doctor Ross raised an inquisitive brow, "Kenneth, aren't you a firm believer that normality is a social construct? Since when is normality even a criteria?"

Kenneth's fears were somewhat justified for the doctor. Cyclomatia tends to run in genetics. Thus, Kenneth could hand down his disorder, but to say he wasn't normal wasn't right.

Doctor Ross adjusted his posture and crossed his legs, "Have you ever been to the casino, Kenneth?"

"Oh, please, for the love of the moon, don't tell me about the luck factor. I can't place my whole relationship on a number of a roulette table."

"Kenneth, every relationship goes on the roulette table. Life is too full of uncertainties. One only knows they'll win once they place the bet. The adrenaline and euphoria are all part of the game. What you're feeling isn't necessarily linked to your condition but to what everyone experiences when they fall in love deeply. You can ask any person in love the same question. You'll find they feel the same way."

Doctor Ross left a more serene Kenneth. After twenty-five years of treatment, the man saw a little ray of light. Kenneth allowed himself to fall in love and give in on Mondayㅡhis nervousness about being abandoned diminished little by little as Monday learned more about him.

Monday knew how to regulate her presence. The man didn't think he also lifted some weight off Monday's shoulders. The interrogations she had when the man left her without news melted, but right then, Kenneth found himself pushed to the back of house of Monday's mind; for the moment, she had another urgent matter to think about as she peed.

Her periods were a week late, but it wasn't surprising for the woman who had anemia to modify her cycle, but she had an odd feeling that she couldn't shake off.

Monday felt different since her return from New York; something strange happened that night when Kenneth revealed his condition. The way he spoke and touched her was different. Even the way he made love was singular. Just thinking of the heated chapter sent shivers down Monday's spine. Kenneth's words liberated both of them. Monday knew she could love him fully, and she showed it that night.

The sleepless author looked down at the baton and the two vertical lines running across it.

Yep, the love they had transpired that night.

Monday got up and pulled the flush; there was no use panicking. She returned to her bedroom and covered herself only to sit up.

It wasn't the right time. She wasn't ready. They weren't prepared. She barely knew him, she loved him, but still, it wasn't the moment. She still had so much to do, and Monday doubted Kenneth was keen on being a father. The man struggled with himself. Monday couldn't impose this on him.

Sleep Monday, sleep, Monday prompted herself, but she knew it was impossible to follow the instructions. Luce found Monday sobbing in front of It's Okay, It's Love Kdrama.

"Oh no, not this drama again," Luce exclaimed as she entered the living room.

Luce remembered how Monday would watch the drama repeatedly in 2014. The Luce wondered what triggered the relapse.

"Girl, why are you crying? You know how this drama ends, for goodness sake."

Monday pointed her hand to the screen, "Hae Soo didn't even realize Jang Jae Yeaol had mental issues. She's a psychiatrist, though."

"Monday, what are you talking about?"

Monday turned her teary gaze to her cousin, who crossed her arms in anticipation of the nonsense she was about to hear, "Luce, don't you ever wonder what will happen if you have a baby with Dr. Watkins. What will you do if your child has a hearing deficiency?"

Luce rolled her eyes. Monday's inquiry wasn't one she wished to answer at five in the morning, "Listen, O ti re mi [I'm tired], Monday," Luce said and headed to her bedroom.

Monday needed to sleep, yet she couldn't. She continued to watch the series until her eyes couldn't drop another tear. She awoke hours later to the smell of coffee, and A Ship And A Globe by Kae Sun from the drama's Ost hummed in her head.

Monday hurried to put on her sneakers and coat. She ran to the closest pharmacy, "Hi, can I have the best pregnancy test you have, please?"

"They're all excellent," the chemist said.

"I want the best."

The chemist gave Monday her home shopping seller smile, "Have you already taken a test?"

"Yes."

"What was the brand?"

"Clear blue."

"It's one of the best. Whatever the results you get are ninety-nine percent accurate."

Monday placed her hands on the counter and leaned forward, "I want an-other test."

The chemist breathed deeply, "Okay, then I recommend you try."

"Can you just give it over?"

The woman rolled her eyes and put the packet on the counter, "is that all you need?" The chemist asked with a lopsided smile.

"It's already more than enough. Thank you," Monday paid and left. She rushed back to the apartment and went straight to the toilet. This time, the two lines formed a cross as if to say RIP.

"Monday, is everything okay ?"

Monday opened the door but remained on the toilet, "Luce, can you check this for me? This thing isn't working."

The nurse took the baton, "I think it's working just fine."

"But it says I'm pregnant."

"It says that because you're pregnant, Monday." Luce's eyes grew wide, "ㅡOh my God, you're pregnant," Luce said with the excitement she didn't even try to withhold as she hopped about with the pregnancy test.

"No, non, non, I can't. I can't be pregnant, Luce," Monday said, getting up from the seat."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"IㅡI don't know. I mean, Kenneth and I can't have a baby."

"Why?"

"Because. Monday hadn't told Luce about Kenneth's mental health issues. For her cousin, Monday was having a baby with the man she loved. There wasn't anything to be sad about it. Luce couldn't imagine the turmoil the reality threw Monday in.

"Perhaps you should start by telling Kenneth?"

Telling Kenneth, Luce was definitely out of her mind as if Monday could casually announce her pregnancy to a man who already broke every dogme he made for himself for her. Monday doubted Kenneth would rejoice.

It was her body. She didn't need to tell Kenneth. It wasn't as if he cared, yet Monday wished to know what the man would say if he knew.

"I can't tell him."

"Why?"

"Because Kenneth has a million things to do and take care of. He doesn't need this."

"Monday, that isn't reasonable. You can't just keep him in the dark unless you've already made a decision. Please, don't tell me you want to terminate your pregnancy."

Monday grasped her head, "I don't know, Luce. Please don't ask me questions. I don't know."

Luce grabbed Monday by the shoulders. "You need some rest; you're not thinking straight." She pushed Monday to the living room, "Have a seat. I'll make you eh-, gosh, you can't drink coffee. I'll make you something."

"Don't treat me like a pregnant woman, Luce, abeg."

"But you're pregnant, though," Luce replied with her Cheshire cat grin.

Pregㅡnant

Monday always wondered in what state of mind she would be. Unlike many, she always knew things wouldn't happen in a perfect world-order way for her. She only hoped to be happy, but all she felt then was confusion.

Luce made her oatmeal pancake and a smoothie.

"I'm not hungry."

"Eat a little."

Luce was genuinely happy for her; Monday could read it on her face.

"May I ask you why are you so thrilled?"

Luce sat down and shrugged, "I just think you're lucky. I'll probably be over forty if it ever happens. You're fortunate, Monday. God never makes a mistake, and you know it."

Stuck in her feelings, Monday forgot how selfish she could seem to Luce, but she didn't care. Her face downloaded all her despair.

"Why aren't you happy?" Luce asked.

"Because ㅡI didn't plan this."

Luce slid her head back, "as if planning matters to you. Come on Monday, you're a free spirit."

"Yeah, well, I'm trapped right now. I don't know what to do."

"I should record myself and put it on repeat. TELL HIM," Luce wailed.

"You don't understand. I don't think Kenneth wants children."

"How do you know? Have you spoken about it," Luce asked.

"No, like we've only been officially dating nine months."

"Yeah, and?" Luce asked and sipped coffee.

"Nine months ain't enough, Luce!"

Luce drooped her lips, "Says who?"

"Says the process!"

Luce crossed her arms and leaned back, "ㅡWhat process Monday? We're not in one of your books; again, you're not someone who ever follows instructions." Luce pointed somewhere on her left, "You read the first," then she pointed somewhere on her right, "ㅡand the last instruction before you freestyle through the middle," Luce said as she shook her head from side to side. "You're a panzer through and through. And no, you're not an idiot, but you'll be one if you don't tell the man."

The conversation ended there. Monday kept to herself and avoided exploiting her situation.

Luce, on the other hand, became a mother hen. Her attitude tapped into Monday's nerves. She knew all Luce wanted to do was help, but it had the opposite effect.

Monday suffocated. She was unable to see things clearly. She tried to find Kenneth's book; she wanted to read it, hoping she would find lead. Kenneth's book was untraceable. The only thing that could explain this was the probability of Kenneth using a pen name.

Days passed, and the need to escape became more potent for Monday. Thus, it was in front of the mirror as she observed her silhouette and tried to imagine her round stomach that she made a decision.

Eh, no comment!

Friends, I don't know what to say. I woke up this morning minding my business, and boom, Monday dropped her bomb.

What do you think she's going to do? Because right now, I won't know until I write it.

Who thinks she's going to tell Kenneth? Please let me know why you believe she will.

Who thinks she won't? I'm burning to know why you believe that.

Okay, take care!