Warnings: Angst, some profanity

Word Count: 1616

Hey, darling. I hope you're good tonight.

You smiled at the text from Tyler. Despite the fact that he was in a timezone hours ahead of you, he had made sure to remind you that he was thinking of you. You typed out a quick response before setting your phone down and returning to the show you were watching.

Spending months away from Tyler was hard, but you had known what you were getting yourself into when the two of you started dating. His music career had just started to take off, and you had known that it would only be a number of months before he was playing sold out shows all over the world. The feeling that Tyler gave you wasn't one that you were willing to just throw away, though. Love meant sacrifice, and for you that sacrifice was spending most of your time miles apart.

The first months apart were always the easiest. Memories of cuddling up with Tyler on the couch and making dinner together were still fresh in your mind, and it was when you felt the most like you could make it through the tour. You knew the security would slowly fade away, but you took advantage of it while you could.

Hey, sweetie. I need you here tonight.

You debated not sending Tyler the text. He was already stressed enough from touring, and you didn't want to add him worrying about you on top of that. It had been almost four months since he had left, and the doubt was beginning to creep in.

He couldn't really be there with you, you knew that, but even seeing his face would help you feel just a little bit better. It was hard for you to talk about your insecurities because so many people would brush them off and tell you how lucky you were to be dating someone like Tyler. So many people would kill to be in your position, so you limited yourself to talking about your issues with Tyler.

Your phone began to ring, flashing Tyler's contact picture at you. You smiled as you reached for your laptop at the end of the bed.

"Hey, what's going on?" Tyler asked as soon as you answered the FaceTime call, worry evident on his face.

"I'm just having a hard night. My mind is winning the battle right now," you sighed, fiddling with the strings of your sweatshirt.

"I know it's hard right now, but every day is one day closer to coming home."

"We're almost halfway."

You and Tyler talked for a few hours until he was practically falling asleep. It took you awhile to convince him that you were feeling better, even though you weren't, so that he would finally get off the call and get some much needed rest. He would stay up all night with you if he needed to, but you knew that right now touring was more important than you were, no matter what Tyler said.

You closed your laptop and slid it back down towards the end of the bed before you pulled your knees into your chest. Tears slipped silently down your cheeks as thoughts bounced around your head. You loved Tyler more than anything, but you couldn't keep doing this. His fame was only going to continue to grow, meaning bigger shows and longer tours.

There was a decision that had to be made, and you weren't looking forward to making it.

"I can't wait through everything."

You read the line out loud to yourself a few times, not wanting to believe it despite the fact that you had written the line yourself just a few minutes ago. Keeping a journal had proved to be the best way to keep your mental health in check when Tyler was in crazy timezones hours ahead of you. Usually it brought you peace, but recently it had been forcing you to face the thoughts you had so desperately been trying to avoid.

You slammed the journal closed, not caring if the ink smudged. In fact, you hoped it did, that way you wouldn't be forced to face the reality of your situation. Spending months alone battling your anxieties and fears just to have a few months of peace with Tyler just wasn't sustainable. You needed to put yourself first, and sometimes that meant letting go of something you loved.

You picked up your journal and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a resounding smack and fell to the floor. There were only a few months left until the end of the tour, but that was still another three months going to bed alone and wondering just what it was that Tyler was up to. If you could just wait until he got home, then you knew everything would feel ok again and you would be reminded of why you put yourself through this.

But then another tour would begin, and thus the cycle would continue. In a little while, you would find yourself where you were right now: hopeless and alone. Deep down, you knew what had to be done. First, you just had to find the strength to do it.

"Is this really happening?"

You bit down on your trembling lip. Tyler's voice sounded so broken, even through the computer. You hated to do this over FaceTime, but you knew that if you waited for him to get home then you wouldn't have the strength to go through with it.

"I'm sorry, Tyler." You couldn't even bring yourself to look at him.

He sighed and you saw him bury his head in his hands out of the corner of your eye. Your chest hurt, and you were sure that Tyler was feeling the same way. Neither of you wanted to end things, but you knew that it was better for the both of you if you did.

"Are you going to be gone before I'm home?"

"Yes."

Brown boxes stood stacked in the corner of the bedroom, messily marked with their contents. You had been packing for a few weeks, just to make sure that all of your things would be gone before Tyler got home. There was only a month left until the tour was over, and the last few shows were right near your hometown.

"How long have you felt like this?"

"I don't know, a couple months I guess."

"A couple months?" Tyler was clearly shocked. You had hid it well.

"I love you, Tyler, but I can't keep going like this. I have to take care of myself first."

"I understand, but-damn it, Y/N."

"I have to go," you said, not able to stand seeing Tyler like this any longer.

"Ok."

You reached forward and ended the call. As soon as you were sure he couldn't hear you, you let out the sobs that you had been so carefully holding back. The decision had been made, now you had to deal with the consequences.

We knew it would happen eventually.

That's what all of the tweets that were popping up on your timeline essentially boiled down to. There had been countless comments that Tyler had seemed off during the last couple shows. His energy levels weren't the same. He was smiling less. He was tearing up more often.

It hadn't taken much speculation for people to find out that you two were no longer together. The news was all over Twitter, Instagram, basically every social media platform that you were active on. People kept asking Tyler to confirm or deny, but he was staying silent on the subject. People eventually started to do the same to you, but you followed Tyler's lead and ignored it. He was the one under the scrutiny of the media, so he should choose how and when to handle it. You were just a normal person now, by most people's standards, so you didn't have to handle these things publicly.

Tomorrow marked the day that Tyler would have come home, just a few short days before the official end of the tour. You had left the house a week ago, leaving most things in tact. Tyler was the one that had bought most of your possessions, anyway, he deserved to keep them.

You wondered if the people on Twitter were right. Maybe your relationship had been doomed from the beginning.

"Now everybody's singing-"

You turned the TV off before the anchor could even finish his sentence. It was no secret that Tyler and Josh's tour had been a success. They were bigger than ever now and their songs were on the radio constantly, it seemed. You were proud of Tyler, after all, this is what he had always wanted.

You considered reaching out and congratulating him, but ultimately decided against it. The wound of the breakup was still fresh, and talking to him was a slippery slope that you would rather not chance. The breakup had been your decision, and you had to stick by that no matter how much you missed him.

You felt more at peace now than you had when you were with Tyler. There was something freeing about knowing that you weren't waiting around for anybody. Sure, you felt a pang of sadness every now and again when you thought about Tyler. He had made you happier than anyone else had before, but sometimes things just didn't work out.

You wondered if your life would have been different if you hadn't made the last minute decision to go to his show that one night. Things would have certainly been easier, but you knew that meeting Tyler had been an important moment in your life.