"Breathe, hyung," Soobin whispered, moving closer to the boy curled up on the floor. Despite his height, Yeonjun somehow always managed to make himself seem smaller than he was when he wanted to hide, hugging his legs closely to his chest, almost shrinking into himself. Like he wanted to make himself as small as possible, until he was nothing but a speck of dust floating around in the universe, unseen, unheard and unnoticed. "I need you to breathe for me, okay?"

Wordlessly, Yeonjun nodded, trying desperately to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest, the way his lungs felt like they were collapsing into themselves, knocking the air out of him. Subconsciously, he moved towards Soobin, gravitating towards him, as if he were a speck of dust orbiting around the younger, who pulled him in and stabilised him, the way the earth did. Soobin was gravity, an unspoken force that brought him closer, towards him.

Quietly, warm fingers grazed over Yeonjun's forehead, pushing back the damp strands of hair, now soaked with sweat and tears. Yeonjun leaned into the touch, letting the younger boy's touch soothe him. "It's okay, hyung. It'll be okay, mm?"

"I- it just-" Yeonjun felt his heart constrict in his chest, the words bubbling at the edge of his throat, tears blurring the periphery of his vision. He felt himself halt for a moment, and although he knew it shouldn't have hurt even half as badly as it did, he couldn't help it. Couldn't help the thoughts from running through his brain, couldn't help the way his throat constricted, as if trying to make him feel any less alive would make him breathe out of it. But at the very least, he had Soobin. Soobin helped. He felt hands drift down, cupping his cheek gently, turning his head slightly up so that Soobin could take a closer look at him.

Instinctively, Yeonjun's eyes fluttered shut. Half of his mind knew that he couldn't keep doing this. Couldn't keep running away, couldn't keep shutting himself up when someone came close, but somehow the knowledge didn't help. He did it by instinct. But he also knew that any kind of barrier he tried putting up against the younger boy was useless because it would come crumbling down eventually. Not exactly because Soobin came in a whirlwind, but because with him, he felt safe. Like the walls that he'd spent years building didn't matter anymore, despite the mental walls they put in place being important as idols. Somehow having Soobin around made him feel safe, and the wall slowly receded, fading brick by brick as Yeonjun pulled them off with his own hands. As the bricks crumbled in his hands, the younger boy stood by his side, smiling back at him, his lips mouthing words that felt as alien to Yeonjun as they did familiar. 'I'm here for you. I'll love you no matter what.' Still, the thoughts resurfaced sometimes, the bad dreams. They just-

Gulping, he tried to continue, but the words stayed lodged in his throat. Internally sighing, Yeonjun shook himself. "Can you just hold me?"

This time, his voice was barely above a whisper, but Soobin caught them anyway. He smiled worriedly, his hands drifting back to Yeonjun's hair. "Anything for you, hyung."

Wordlessly, he pulled Yeonjun closer. Subconsciously, Yeonjun gravitated closer to him, until he was seated comfortably in Soobin's lap, his legs wrapping comfortably around the other boy's waist. Warm arms curled protectively around his waist, patting his back softly. Yeonjun melted under his touch, their chests barely millimetres apart, close enough that Yeonjun could feel the beat of his heart against his. The familiar thump, thump, thump against his chest soothed him, grounded him. Somehow they dulled the racing thoughts in his mind, giving him something else to focus on.

"Wanna talk?" Soobin asked, his soft voice breaking Yeonjun out of his reverie. Yeonjun shook his head, burying his face into the crook of the younger boy's neck. Letting the familiar scent of vanilla and chocolate soothe him. He couldn't really explain, in words, how much having the younger boy around helped. With or without words, there was something so amazing about having someone there. When you didn't need words but knew somehow. Of course, it didn't mean you knew everything without talking, since communication was key. But having someone there, someone who understood, who cared, even when you were figuring yourself out- meant the world to Yeonjun. It was hard to describe how it felt, but he imagined it to be like launching yourself over a cliff with no fear, knowing someone would be at the bottom, waiting for you, catching you no matter what, just like you'd do for them.

"Talk later," he mumbled into the other boy's neck."Just hold me for now?" His voice was muffled, but he knew the other boy heard him all the same, with the way his hand paused for a moment. "Mm," Soobin answered, " Later. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I know," Yeonjun whispered, the uneasy feeling in his stomach fizzing away, slowly but surely. He couldn't quite explain the butterflies that seemed to fly up to his throat, brushing against his lungs, before their wings flapped against his heart. "You know how I feel about you, right?"

At this, Soobin smiled, glancing at the elder boy fondly. "I know."

The words were an unspoken code between them, a whisper of 'I love you", "I trust you" and "I'm here for you" all the same, like a quiet whisper of a song on a dark, gloomy day, like a beam of sunrise just before the break of dawn. Like the warm summers they'd whispered about, the hidden springs they'd dreamt of, fingers intertwined.

Warm fingers threaded through Yeonjun's hair, combing through the locks softly. Though Soobin would probably never admit it, he really loved his hyung's longer hair. Loved playing with it, mostly because it meant that he could run his fingers through for a while longer, and could keep holding him closer, even if it was for just a while longer.

Before they had to go back to the real world, fingers barely grazing, but he wouldn't have traded it for the world, not for anything.

He had him by his side, and as long as Soobin was concerned, that was enough.

The world didn't have to know, not until they were ready to tell them.

As long as they knew it, nothing else mattered between them.

Quietly, small snores drifted through the room, making Soobin chuckle slightly. "Love you, hyung." He whispered, cradling the boy closer to his chest, before kissing his forehead. "We'll talk tomorrow," he mumbled, mostly to himself this time. He knew they would, sure of it more than anything else. "Rest well, hyung."

Smiling, he closed his eyes, letting himself fall into the sweet embrace of slumber, their bodies still entwined. 

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1155 words! I've no clue what this counts for as I'm writing, but I thought of this just before I went to bed as a way of calming myself, so just take it as a self-indulgent write- ;) I hope you guys enjoyed it, and thank you so much for reading!