I was in love with Noah Archer.

And today I was going to have to watch another girl ask him out. I was going to have to watch him date this other girl for the next two weeks. Eventually, I was going to have to watch him fall in love with someone else.

I was going to throw up.

Things were so much easier when I was blissfully unaware of my feelings. If only I could go back in time and unlearn everything about him. But no. I didn't actually want that. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I knew I didn't want to forget Noah Archer.

I would rather be miserably in love with him and watch him date other girls, than take back the last two weeks.

And that was the only thing that helped me get out of bed, get dressed and get into Melissa's car.

It was obvious by the time we arrived at school that the rumor of our early break up had spread. Even more so with how quiet everyone was as soon as I passed by them. Someone must have seen us yesterday. Not that surprising considering we broke up right next to the parking lot.

That was stupid of me. To be fair I wasn't really thinking rationally.

"Are you okay?" Melissa whispered before taking my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Yeah. I'm okay." I squeezed back and let out a sigh.

This wasn't the hard part. The hard part would be the next class. The one I shared with Noah. The first class we went to after I'd asked him out. Maybe I could skip class. Only what would I even do? Just walk around? Surely time would pass faster in class than trying to waste it outside... 

Sighing, I resigned myself to my fate. Today was going to be a horrible day. But tomorrow would be better. Probably. Maybe not. 

As it always goe, because I'd wished the first class of the day would last forever, it simply zoomed past. And then it felt like I was walking down death row as I went to my next one. The one class I wished I could avoid. I was one of the first people in, and I took my usual seat, anxiously twirling my hair.

He probably had a new girlfriend already. The rumors were about to restart. A new girl would become the focus for the next two weeks. I would be forgotten. Noah would be someone I just passed by in the hall, and things would go to how they always were. How they were meant to be. Right? 

I knew by the whispers when he entered and, unable to help myself, I looked up.

Noah Archer walked into class, his headphones pulled over his ears, hands stuffed in his pockets, eyes looking down at the ground.

My heart heart hiccuped. There were tingles passing through my whole body. This was the first time I saw him with the awareness of being in love with him... and I couldn't for the life of me understand how I'd never realized it before. The effect he had on me.

Noah threw himself into his seat. Silence stretched along the class as people looked around. And then a girl stood up. The same girl that had tried asking him out two weeks ago.

Instantly, it felt like a stone was crushing my chest. No way. There was no way I was about to see him start dating someone else. Even though I hadn't eaten, somehow I was feeling nauseous.

The girl walked up to him boldly this time. Determined.   

I couldn't look away. Like a deer in headlights, I was trapped, watching this nightmare unfold in front of me.

"Hey Noah," she started, with her sweet voice and cavity inducing smile. Noah pulled down his headphones and looked up at her.

"Sup?" His deep voice sent a shiver down my spine.

"I was just wondering, if no one's asked you yet, would you maybe go out with me?"

The whole room went quiet in expectation. This was it. Was she the new girl that would date Noah Archer? Would she be the one that Noah Archer fell in lo–

"Sorry, I can't," Noah said.

What?

It felt like that question had rippled along the entire class. Everyone just stared at the scene unfolding. The girl that had been confident just a moment ago, now seemed confused.

"Are you, uh, dating someone already?" she asked, offering a small smile.

Yes, that must have been it. Someone had beat her to it. My heart felt heavy.

Noah let out a sigh, one of those that made it clear he was tired and wanted the conversation to end. "No, I'm not dating anyone."

Okay. Okay... What?

Whispers had started. Slow. Just a few comments muttered in confusion. Noah Archer hadn't refused to date someone even once in the past year. This was unheard of.

"Then... why won't you date me?" This time the girl sounded upset. Probably embarrassed. Aware of all the eyes on her. The talks that would follow.

I, on the other hand, felt like I could finally breathe normal. This was confusing, concerning to say the least, but for me it was a blessing. At least it meant I didn't have to watch while he started dating some other girl. It would give me time to prepare. To mentally adapt and accept the fact that–

"Because I'm in love with someone else."

The classroom erupted. People weren't even trying to whisper anymore. It was full blown conversation. And while my eyes were wide and fixed on Noah, everyone else's were focused on me.

Because they clearly thought I was the girl he was talking about.

Only that wasn't possible. After yesterday, there was no way he was talking about me. There was no way he was in love with me.

Was there? I mean, who else could it have been?

He'd spent the last two weeks with me. We'd gone on so many dates, it would have been physically impossible for him to spend time with anyone else. To fall in love with anyone else.

Was it possible?

The guy I was in love with... was in love with me?

I could have burned a hole in the back of Noah's head with how intently I stared at him. He hadn't looked back once. Even if it was true, if he really was in love with me, I had ended things yesterday. There was no taking that back. I didn't have a time machine that could un-do what I had done. And besides, it still wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't change what I had done, or the fact that he was far too good for me.

I knew that. And yet, when class ended, I found myself rushing to the front door to intercept him.

"Noah." His name was the only thing I could say before he brushed past me, putting his headphones back over his ears.

He didn't even look at me. Didn't even acknowledge my existence.

And why should he?

I'd messed up royally. I wouldn't want anything to do with myself either.

But, God, I was in love with him.

And if there was a chance he was in love with me... I couldn't just let that go. A wild hope had reignited in my chest and there was no taming it.

I didn't deserve him. But I could deserve him.

I could work on it every day and prove that I was worth his love. That I could do better. That I would do better. That he made me want to be better. That if he could still love me, even at my worst, he deserved more than my best, and I would give it to him. All of it. Everything.

All I had to do was talk to him again. All I had to do was beg for him to listen and apologize.

All I had to do was tell him how stupidly in love with him I was.

Only talking to him seemed like mission impossible. Whenever I would try, he would just ignore me, avoid me, escape me. Even during lunch time, he was impossible to find.

Which is how I ended up here.

Missing the last period. Hiding among bushes.

Hiding among bug-filled-bushes. Waiting to ambush Noah Archer.

People gave me weird looks as they passed. Some snickered. Some straight up laughed. I couldn't care less. I was a singularly focused woman, waiting for those blue headphones to appear on the horizon.

And then they did.

I jumped out in front of him and Noah startled, looking up from the ground and for the first time that day his eyes met mine. Just for one precious second before he looked away.

"Hey," I said, nerves getting the best of me. I ran my hand across my hair, making sure there were no leaves stuck there.

Noah nodded his head, and went to move past me.

I moved in front of him. I had to make this quick.

"I'm sorry. Noah, I'm so sorry," I started and he froze. He raised his hands and put down his headphone, but his gaze was still anywhere but on me. "I know you're mad at me. I know I messed up. I can't even... There are no words in the english language to explain how sorry I am for everything."

How many times would I be able to say I was sorry in five minutes? Whatever the record was, I was sure I could beat it, because I had no intention of stopping.

"I'll say it as many times as I need to though, because I am... I am so, so sorry about–"

"Skyler, what do you want?" Noah finally spoke, and when he looked at me, the hurt I saw there, it broke my heart. "I'm not mad. I just, I don't know what you want from me? You broke up with me, right?"

Well. I wasn't expecting that. My imagination had made this whole thing look like there would be some angry yelling from his side, and a lot more groveling for forgiveness from mine. But all he sounded like when he spoke was... tired.

"Yeah, but..." But it was a mistake. But I want to take it back. But I'm a dumb idiot, but I'm a dumb idiot that loves you.

"But what?" he said with a dark chuckle. "But you want to be friends? Because yeah, that's not gonna happen. I can't do that."

And then my heart shattered. Piece by piece. He didn't even want to be friends with me. Which meant he didn't want me in his life. And if he didn't want me in his life, there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say that would change his mind. Game over. My loss.

"I can't be friends with the girl I'm in love with."

Say what?

I couldn't have imagined that. It was too good for my imagination. This had actually happened. Noah Archer said he was in love with me.

"Yeah, so," he added and tried to move past me.

I widened my hands like a goalie to stop him from walking around me. Noah stared at me like I was out of my mind. And granted, I probably was. But that didn't matter in that moment because I needed to make one thing clear to him.

"I don't want to be friends," I breathed out, unable to keep those words in my mouth a second longer.

Noah stared at me. Brows furrowing. Hand running through his hair.

"Then what do you want?" A valid question. With only one answer, really.

"You."

He blinked. I blinked. We blinked at each other.

"Are you messing with me?" he asked, his voice breaking.

Oh, God, no. But I was definitely messing up this situation. Why were these kinds of confession scenes always so much cooler in books and movies?

"No. Noah, no, I was scared. I messed up so bad. When I asked you out... I never even imagine it would be like this. And then the guilt... I couldn't be with you. I couldn't bear the fact that I had such horrible plans... I was so horrible. And then after Saturday, and how wonderful you... It was too much. And I thought since you were going to break up with me after two weeks anyway, then I could just rip the bandaid and–"

"I was never going to break up with you, Skyler." Noah said, and I nodded. A choked laugh left my lips.

"I know. I know that now. I messed up. I messed up so bad, Noah. I'm so sorry." I'd told myself I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't put him in that position. And yet, I here I was, tears slowly dripping down my face.

Noah was silent. He was silent for what felt like an eternity. And then his throat bobbed, and he took one step closer to me. My heart throbbed. He reached out slowly and brushed the tears off my face with his thumb.

"How do you feel about me, Skyler?"

This was it. The big finale. I couldn't mess this up.

"I guess your black magic worked." And yet, it seemed like I could. Noah tilted his head.

"You scienced the love out of me." Wow. Was saying those words really that hard? Noah frowned, but I could see the shadow of a smile on his face. He took another small, cautious step closer.

That was enough for me. That timid but hopeful smile. As if he knew what I meant, but after everything, daring to believe it was too much.

"I'm in love with you, Noah Archer."

There. The words were out. My heart was on display. If he decided to crush it now, I can't say I wouldn't deserve it. It would be a miracle if he didn't.

His eyes stared into mine. Every second that ticked by, I felt more nervous. More convinced that this was hopeless.

Then he smiled. That big, bright smile that could light up any room. And he took a step closer. And then another.

My breathing came out quicker. Or was that his?

He brought his hand up to my face, caressed my cheek and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. His face was inches away and he moved his head to the side of mine. I could feel his breath along my ear as he whispered.

"I'm in love with you too, Skyler Fox."

I didn't know it was possible to feel this amount of happiness.

But as he pulled back, leaned his forehead against mine, the happiness I'd felt multiplied.

Okay, this was peak happiness. There was no way–

Slowly, maddeningly, his lips came closer... and pressed against mine.

I couldn't even think anymore. My arms reached out and wrapped around his neck, while his hugged my waist. We pressed against each other as if our survival depended on our proximity.

The kiss started out gentle. Testing. Reaffirming. But then, it changed. It deepend. And it was as if we'd both forgotten where we actually were until the sound of whistling from the few remaining students interrupted us.

We pulled apart, lips swollen, breath heavy, stupid grins on both our faces.

"You're still not in the clear, you know," Noah said, trying to appear serious but unable to wipe the smile of his face.

"Mhm," I mumbled, and got on my tip toes to kiss his cheek.

"I mean, there should be some more apologizing," he said and then I moved my lips down to his neck. "Probably," he said, swallowing hard.

"Absolutely, yes, apologizing," I mumbled against his neck before moving to his ear. He shuddered.

"You can't just break up with me and then–" His voice was hoarse and when I tentatively kissed just below his ear he stopped speaking all together. "Oh, fuck it."

Noah put his hands under my thighs and lifted me into his arms. I squeaked in surprise, locking my hands behind his neck and my legs around him in an attempt to retain some sort of balance.

"Where are we going?" I asked him as he started walking toward the parking lot.

"On a date," Noah said, matter of factly. "Obviously."

I laughed, feeling light and happy and free.

And loved.

For the first time, I actually understood the word. Not because of some movie or books. It wasn't just this fictional concept that I believed in without truly knowing.

I knew what love was now. Love was stubborn. Love was messy. Love was confusing. Love was unexpected. Love was warm. Love was slow. Love was heavy. Love was consuming. Love was scary. Love was blind.

But most importantly, there was one thing I knew without a shadow of a doubt.

Love was real. And it was ours.

HI MY LOVES. ❤️

Okay, full disclaimer. There were some tears when I wrote THE END. I can't believe it. I can't believe this book is completed. I also can't believe I finished it in time for the Wattys but... I can't believe it's over. I'm feeling so many emotions right now. 

So, be honest, what did you think? Did you like the end? Did you enjoy the book? ✨

I honestly hope you enjoyed the book. Because I so so so so much enjoyed reading your comments and seeing all your votes coming in. It brought me such unbelievable joy, to know so many of you were reading this book and following this story... Especially during this last week. Your support really helped me push through. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I have no words for how much I appreciate you. This isn't the end for Skyler and Noah. I'll probably do an epilogue, and then there's gonna be bonus scenes and of course Noah POV scenes. I'll post a thank you chapter after I've slept and recovered from writing and then you'll be able to suggest everything you want to see as an extra.

Anyway, I have to go write a summary and logline now, somehow. And submit this book for the Wattys. Wish me luck. ❤️ Thank you so much for being here! 

And for the last time (before the bonus content)... 

Love you all, stay strong, stay safe! ❤️